Chet's
Notes/Rants/Reviews from E3
Win some E3 Junk... Or Check out Erik's E3
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A Really fat Gene Simmons* hangs out... |
1st off... did I go to a different show than everyone else? Why
aren't people raving hysterically about Half-life? Maybe it was the lack of half-life
dancers and strippers? For more on half-life check out Erik's review... This
was the best game of the show... By the way there is nothing wrong with sleeping for
15 hours straight. |
Independence War/ I-war
Okay, first off, us kids in the know have been playing this
game for sometime now, and I think most people would agree this is an incredible game.
Probably the most favorably talked about game on the newsgroups this year.
I go to E3 expecting there to be a buzz about the 3DFX/USA version
release
nope
. There stands Michael Powell playing Independence War while
everyone just walks by
You would think he was just another talking head from the
likes of the Nintendo booth
|
Chet with Michael Powell from
Particle-systems. |
For one minute, screw Lara Croft and the ass she walked in with
this is the guy
who programmed the game that has made me lose the most sleep since Doom. I am sure I made
an ass out of myself as I held back bowing in his presence. Look, I hate a lot of games,
and I like a some games, but how in the hell does I-War get lost in the E3 Shuffle? Who
gives a rats ass about warmed over RTS or isometric click fests? I look around on
some other sites tonight and nary a mention
Did you know Michael Powell also
programmed the classic Amiga game Powerdrome? This game was so ahead of the POD/Wipeout
scene its sickening
I will say it right now
The best moment of E3 was meeting
Michael and then later getting a picture with him.
Unreal
Played it before E3 and didnt bother stopping by the booth at
E3
what a bunch of pretty shit
Hey who made these pretty pillows for me to lay
my head down on? BORING
. Terrible AI, shitty weapons
hell Id should sue for
this much plagiarism
stupid mapping, unimaginative in everyway
this game
brought nothing new to the world of 3D gaming
oh excuse me : one thing
the
most amazing over the top bullshit advanced PR ever
Monsters have such great AI
that, get this, they attack you! WOW! This game has soured me on all the up and
coming Quake Killers... well almost all... Every booth would talk about great story,
scripted scenes, great AI... One and only one game actually showed it at the show,
all the rest just talked about that was the last thing they were working on...
F'it... Give me Atari 2600 blocky graphics and great AI before you give me pretty
pictures that have the AI of dragons in Atari 2600 adventure. The one game that
showed what they talked about? HALF-LIFE!
Half-Life
Erik will say everything I could
say
what a game
If you are going to give me a 3D world and ask me to become
engrossed in it, please fill it with a real world
Half-life does
and the AI
looks amazing. This is simple the game I am looking the most forward to
|
Chet with Gabe Newell and Yahn Bernier of Valve Software. |
Half-Life Booth |
OGRS Coverage Of E3
Way to type in those game companys press releases
OGR
is the fucking scum of the earth
"COMING SOON THE AMAZING PONG 2!"
FEATURING Jai Lai
Here is wishing for a very small
very powerful
earthquake
.
TombRaider
. What version am I playing
.
Wake me when virtual sex is a reality
until then this
game is boringly the same
.
Fox Interactive, The whole stinking booth...
"Our feeling is that nobody has been able to translate the
drama and excitement of tennis to the video game experience," said Jon Richmond,
president of Fox Interactive.
yeah
passing out in front of the TV while
pounding warm beer and chasing it with Fritos could pass for this same excitement
Tennis is boring
if this asshole has this much bullshit to say about a tennis
game, just think of what crap he is going to pile on once he gets to games people under 65
actually play
. If fox wants to make a splash with their tennis game they should
include a secret code so you can play as the naked Martina Hingis
As a side
note: Scully showed up for some autograph session for the X-files... We
were behind the Fox Structure checking out some game when this guy bursts through the wall
and starts screaming "NO PICTURES, NO PICTURES" I instantly start snapping
photo only to realize I should take a picture of what he's hiding... its scully, but
security kept everyone back and I was unable to snap a photo of here emerging from the
woman's room (which they had sealed off just for her, rumor has it she stunk up the
place...)
Diablo 2
I was forcibly removed from the controls of this game as my head was
rested on the keyboard as a pillow
new spell new weapon
SAME FUCKING GAME!!!!
Blizzard sucks... have they every made anything new? Has any game of theirs
had an original idea? Every game is a derivative of someone else's and then they franchise it by merely repeating it... Go Blizzard... I
asked one Blizzard lackey about the Registry thing and he blew me off, so since he did
that I won't talk now...
C&C2
I was shagged in a time warp
Oh yeah new
graphics
new gameplay? Well it would be new if I hadnt already experienced it
in Total annihilation
Ho hum
at least I was promised there
would be none of those crappy interior scenarios
. I plan on making a pillow out of
the upcoming RTS releases.. I was told that time management is an important part of
C&C... or? Click Fest. |
Coolest thing about C&C2 was the burned out setup they
had at the show... |
Myth 2
Again I defer to Erik
this is his
all time favorite
. I liked what I saw with some minor advancements and some bugs
worked out
should be fun. At least they seemed to have put in some thought to
their sequel.
Descent III/ Forsaken
I may have been drunk
but I think they released these together
by accident and were dismayed that no one noticed
Sin
It was one of those hard to tell demos
. Everything we asked
about was "coming" the AI we were shown sucked
But it had a lot that
impressed
I would still right now take Half-life
but Sin did not entirely suck
Interstate 82
I was given dirty looks when I asked if this game would break down
into me driving around in circles shooting... Who knows... the frigging missions in
76 took an hour to play, how can you tell whats up in 10 seconds?
Age Of Empires II
NOW NOW NOW
. That is when I want this game
cool
new graphics.. with
check this out blizzard
NEW GAME PLAY!!!! Oh my god! Yes
it can be done! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO IMPROVE THE GRAPHICS AND THE GAMEPLAY AT THE SAME
TIME!!!!! They have "lifted" a few things from Myth, but that will only improve
on an office favorite. These improvements include veterans and formations. I am really
looking forward to this sequel. This is probably my second favorite game of the
show.
A Giant Madden Guarded the E3 booth... at least he was silent... |
Baseball Games
Alot of baseball games to compare at E3... The winner? Microsoft's
3D baseball. The depth of info on the players goes deep, including their digitized
likeness on the players head (Randy Johnson was not near ugly enough, but that kind of
face should be saved for horror only games...) For the 64 Ken Griffy jr baseball was
fun, I just wonder if Nintendo is going to package a cutie to play with you? EA and Triple
Play should apologize for the initial releases terrible internet problems and why does the
interface scream console to me? I have a friggin computer, make me an interface...
and what are you using my voodoo card on?
Please read chet's featured review and watch him take this all
back... |
Chaos
This is another one of those, did anyone else notice
this? This was in the Ubisoft booth. Very cool outdoor 1st person shooter/vehicle
driving game... The demo was slightly buggy and the only people there to explain the
game insisted on speaking in a fake French accent making it very hard to understand...
But this really looked cool, and, more importantly, played well. Almost like a
really fast and hectic mechwarrior game...
Rayman 2
Liked the first one, and this sequel is impressive.
Compared to this, Croc is a waste...
MotorHead
1st, I did not break the game. The women I was
racing did... the subsequent squabble had nothing to do with my abusing any equipment...
to be honest the game was nothing special at all... beating my Oriental Foe, that was
special... she was forced to break her racer just to try and avoid defeat... I do
not know the Japanese word for loser, but she got the idea...
Cosmopolitan Makeover
F' these people.. yes Erik wants to go to the booth and
get the Essence makeover... how come that is funny and the fact that every cover of
cosmo has a model leaning over showing off her breasts not funny? I think we were
given pins and a T-shirt just so we would leave.
Daikatana
There is nothing to say about this game... another
boring 1st person shooter that claims this and that will be coming but the playable demo
seemed like Hexen, and I hate Hexen... The thing that marveled me at the Ion Storm's booth
was John Romero's giant chin... I have never heard mention of this so I was
unprepared... This guy puts Jay Leno to shame... It terrified me so badly, Erik had to talk me out of hiding in the bathroom the rest of the
show. An added bonus, there was talk about the sequel to Daikatana... yikes!
Console Quick comment
Perfect Dark the
only game that I would not mind if it was just more of the same...
Metal Gear Solid, looked very cool.
I can not remember the rest... the new ultima (Ultima IX:
Ascension) looks cool, Need for speed 3 was fun, watching super hot Japanese chicks
play Special Ops was cool, Special Ops gets the just okay rating... loved the demo and
then splat... the demo is almost as long as the whole game... The new simcity looks
like nothing new, I am sure I will play the new Populous, the only thing I saw about
prey was the rolling demo and played baseball with one of the developers... can't
say much except wow that boy sweated... the new duke looks cool, really Duke Nukem was the
only game to ever beat out Doom if only for 10 minutes until Quake... oh well...
Also a favorite of both Erik and I was the use of "strippers" to help sell
games... I am sure this is what they have in mind when they say they are marketing games
toward women.... check out the women of games...
Questions? Comments? Email Chet@murrayandsons.com
I just want to be the first to say... I like Southpark, and their
new game is sure to suck...
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