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2/19/2001 2:20:00 AM

One Year Ago in Figure Four Weekly PLUS Ordering Info

by Bryan Alvarez

Thanks for clicking on this special feature, One Year Ago in Figure Four Weekly. If you enjoy this issue and decide you’d like to become a regular subscriber, information on how to do so is located at the end of this issue.

One Year Ago in Figure Four Weekly
February 21, 2000


Scott Hall apparently suffered some sort of neck injury after being hit with a guitar by Jeff Jarrett and powerbombed by Sid during the main event of the SuperBrawl PPV Sunday night. It was first thought to be a major spinal cord injury, but X-rays done Monday came out negative and it’s now thought he’s suffering from a bulging disc in his neck. Hall underwent an MRI Tuesday and we don’t have results as of press time.

In other words, he’s not fired yet.

Hall told friends that he knew something was wrong as soon as the guitar hit him, and told Sid to go easy on him with the powerbomb. Sid apparently didn’t hear him and just drilled him into the mat. One source, who has taken Sid’s powerbomb before, said Sid can be really stiff with the move and he once felt like his heart exploded taking the bump. Hall stayed down and claimed the left side of his body went numb. After the match, EMTs hit the ring to work on him. Fans tried to stay around to see if he was OK, but most were kicked out of the building. Hall ended up being down for almost a half hour, at which point EMTs fitted him with a neckbrace and took him out of the building.

If the injury is legit, and there are still doubts, this will be just the latest in a long line of unfortunate circumstances to plague Hall in the last few years. Although most of the guys backstage suspected this was for real, there were a few that were certain Hall was just working an injury to try to get more time off. It’s very sad, because Hall did a really good job in the SuperBrawl main event and could be a major player in this industry if he just got his personal life together. The problem, besides the obvious, is that Hall himself doesn’t believe he deserves the top spot, and he’s not doing himself any favors by continuing the behavior that got him to this point in the first place.

The talk backstage last week was that WCW might use Hall for the PPV and then fire him shortly thereafter. Hall, on the other hand, was telling friends that he didn’t feel WCW was ever going to fire him because he can be a strong witness in the WWF trademark infringement lawsuit. My friend John Muse sent me the following e-mail about the situation which makes perfect sense:

“With the current issues about Scott Hall and his antics, I thought of something that I haven’t seen mentioned anywhere else. One of the general reasons that Hall has been allowed to get away with the things he’s done is because his testimony is crucial in the WWF vs. WCW case over whether the Outsiders angle was done to make people think the WWF was invading WCW. WCW is counting on Hall to back up WCW by saying it wasn’t planned that way. Well, I’m thinking that when the time comes for his testimony, Hall is going to totally screw WCW and say it was all a plan to fool the public and hurt the WWF. This would be a crippling blow to WCW. Think about that for a minute. If WCW does not fire Hall, Hall has NO reason to support the WWF in this, so his testimony would look like he was telling the truth. Hall has to know that once the case is done, so is he in WCW. They won’t want him around then. WCW’s best chance at this point is to fire Hall now so when he rolls over on them, they can at least say he is disgruntled over getting fired. If they don’t fire him, they will have no explanation for why he’d turn on them. Furthermore, by rolling over on WCW, Hall would make it very difficult for WCW to fire him after the trial. If WCW fires him after the court case over a ‘personal issue’, Hall would be able to march dozens of other personal issues that he never got fired for so his firing at that time would look like revenge over his testimony. I’d almost argue that Kevin Nash is in the same boat. WCW should look at dumping both of them if possible. Besides the legal issue in the future, WCW would be removing two cancers from their locker room and possibly putting them in Vince’s crew.”

In perhaps the saddest news of all, WCW put two new Scott Hall T-shirts on sale at the PPV. One had “Last Call Hall” written on the back and the other had “Hey Yo!”, where the “o” was a martini olive. So much for WCW trying to rectify a bad situation.

The Hall injury was probably the biggest story coming out of what ended up being a really bad pay-per-view. The highlight of the show was an appearance by James Brown, if that tells you anything. Remember when WCW PPVs used to have great undercards and bad main events? Well, the undercards are now worse than the main events, which remain just about as bad as they’ve always been.

My friend Vince went out on a limb and predicted this would be the best pay-per-view of the night.

The show opened with Jarrett coming out of Nash’s office saying he’d KO’d Big Kev and was now the new Commissioner as a result. I know, it makes no sense to me either. He said the Harris Twins were reinstated and would be allowed at ringside for the main event. Nash wasn’t at this show for those of you wondering.

Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Mark Madden hyped up all the matches for the evening. Unfortunately, it was too late to cancel my order.

1. Artist d. Lash Laroux in the finals of the WCW Cruiserweight Tournament. These guys did not work well together and missed tons of spots. It eventually got to the point where they were missing things to an embarrassing degree. Artist finally screwed up a diving DDT and got the pinfall. Not good. 1/2*

Backstage, Knobs cut a horrendous promo straight out of the 80s. He said he’d learned a lot from Fit Finley, like not to give up and not to quit. Well, if he learned so much, why did he turn on him?

2. Knobs beat Bam Bam Bigelow to win the WCW Hardcore Title. The brawled all over and ended up backstage in the Cow Palace. Finley suddenly ran in and hit Bigelow with his cast. Well, that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. They brawled back to the ring and Bigelow hit an Asbury Park Driver. Instead of making the cover, he decided to go up top for perhaps a moonsault. Knobs jumped up and shoved Bigelow off the top rope to the floor for the pin. Pretty bad match, horrible finish. *

Three Count came out. They said they weren’t going to dance, they were going to kick ass. Nobody believed them.

3. Three Count d. Norman Smiley in a handicap match. Norman seemed none the worse for wear after his vicious beating at the hands of Wall on Thunder. Smiley actually did a giant swing at one point. There was a lot of flying around, but not much of substance in the match. Finish saw Norman put the chicken-wing on Shannon, but the other two broke it up. Evan then hit Norman with a dope corkscrew splash followed by Shane hitting a top rope frogsplash and Shannon applying a Lion Tamer for the submission. This was alright. *3/4

They showed clips of a door with “PRIVATE” written on it. The announcers said they had no idea who was in there. Like the announcers in WCW have ever had the first clue about anything. Who in WCW could possibly have their own dressing room separate from all the other boys?

4. Wall beat Demon. This was hilarious, because WCW billed this as one of the main events of the evening. The KISS contract with WCW that Bischoff signed states that Demon has to appear in a certain number of TV matches this year and also be booked in at least one major PPV main event or semi-main event. So this was it. No heat at all for some really bad wrestling. Crowd chanted “BORING!” At least they were chanting something. There was this really scary spot when Wall went up top and Demon tossed him off right onto his golldarn head. Demon then went up top for something and Wall chokeslammed him off for the pin. 1/2*

Gene interviewed Earnest Miller backstage. Shat said that James Brown was in the building. Shat then totally marked out and started jumping up and down in an excited fashion. Suddenly, he stopped and said: “Shut up Gene!” There is no bigger fan of Earnest Miller than myself.

5. Tank Abbott beat Big Al in a Leather Jacket on a Pole match. Big Al got his own original theme song for his first match ever. First thing these two did was strap their right hands together so they could only throw punches with their left hands. Al then hit a forearm and Tank went down. They did this really weird spot where Tank fell down like he was dead and Al actually started STANDING ON TANK’S HEAD. He just stood there balanced for like five seconds. Coolest spot ever in a Tank Abbott match. Tank then stood up and went mad, and they started exchanging these really stiff punches. Tank finally picked up Al in preparation for his patented Careless Slam, but decided to do it from the top rope instead. Unfortunately, he managed to get up to the top rope with Al balanced on his shoulders, but once he got up there he slipped and poor Al took this bump all the way down to the cement and was nearly killed. Tank then grabbed the jacket for the win. After the match, Tank grabbed what appeared to be a pair of scissors or a knife and threatened to slit Al’s throat. I swear to God I’m not making this up. WCW quickly cut away and that was the end of that. Apparently, Tank went into business for himself if you know what I mean. Al deserves a lot of credit for selling his injury so well, since there were a lot of fans that saw him carted off afterwards and thought he was hurt bad. He ended up just fine. I, however, may never be the same after watching this. -**

6. Big T beat Booker T to win the letter “T”. Booker came out to his “Leave it to Beaver” music again. Even Big Fucking Al got new theme music. It’s almost like management is trying to make WCW look like the most incompetent promotion ever. Big T blowed up in seconds. Booker pretty much dominated the match but Big T couldn’t even bump right and nothing looked good. Booker finally hit his top rope dropkick but the lights went out. Suddenly, this HUGE black guy (former No Limit Soldiers member 4x4) appeared on the apron and distracted Booker. Big T then hit his Worst Tiger Driver Ever for the pinfall. Was this ever atrocious. -*

Maestro cut a promo and rambled on about some bet with Earnest Miller. Something about how if James Brown wasn’t there, Miller would have to listen to Beethoven for the rest of his life. Rob Kellum needs a new gimmick immediately. Either that or a Time Machine.

7. Kidman d. Vampiro. Tony actually yelled at Madden for calling Vampiro “Vamp”. What the hell is wrong with Tony? Kidman bonked into Torrie at one point and she bumped off the apron. Vamp then went to grab a chair but she took it away from him. Match was good. There were a couple of missed spots but they covered up for them well. Vamp did a FAME ASSER at one point but the announcers called it a “dropper”. Marty Jannetty is washed up, Shawn Michaels is retired and never on TV, and the Rockers have been broken up for almost a decade, yet nobody had the balls to say “Rocker dropper”. Vamp hit a double bomb and then went up top. Kidman caught him and hit a reverse DDT for the pinfall. **1/2

8. Mamalukes d. David Flair & Crowbar in a Sicilian Stretcher Match. Oh boy. Disco did commentary and yelled at everyone. There were referees all over putting the stretchers back together after the guys used them as offensive weapons. Daphne, who is an actress and has never done any wrestling in her whole life, ran in at one point and did a frankensteiner on Johnny that was SWEET. Tony said that was “spot of the year”. What is a “spot”? Crowbar was powerbombed through a table. Remember that. Johnny did a vertical leap all the way to the top rope and then hit David with an Italian Jam, which was impressive. David was then taped to a stretcher. Even though they used literally about eight feet of regular athletic tape, David was inexplicably unable to break free despite quite a struggle. He was taken away leaving Crowbar all along. They put Crowbar on a table on the floor and Vito splashed him from atop the post. They taped Crowbar to a stretcher and for some reason he was unable to escape as well. Finally, the Mamalukes taped Daphne to a wheelchair and carted her away. So the Italians won. God only knows why WCW booked all these table spots in this match when Flair vs. Funk was built around table spots as well. *1/4

By this point in the show, Madden was starting to annoy me on commentary. He’s been a refreshing change, but at this point he’s become almost a parody of a heel announcer with some really badly contrived one-liners. He needs to develop a unique style and let things come naturally or his schtick is going to get really old really quick.

Earnest Miller came out and yelled at the fans. He called out James Brown. This really bad impersonator who looked nothing like James Brown came out and did some bad dancing. This brought Maestro and the always-lovely Symphony out. Maestro cut a totally indecipherable promo to no pop whatsoever. At this point, this segment was on its way to being the worst thing on the show, which would have been quite an accomplishment. Suddenly, some sweet and soulful music played and the real James Brown came out complete with a huge entourage. Crowd popped HUGE for the Godfather of Soul. Maestro fainted, thank God, because it meant security could drag him out of the ring. James Brown got into the ring and hugged Shat, who totally marked out. For the next two or three minutes they danced like MOFOS and the crowd went bucksnort. Brown, who can still dance like nobody’s business, gave Shat a robe at the end and got a CD plug in there. Shat was a total babyface by the time this was over, which was weird. This was far and way the most fun of anything on the show.

JAMES BROWN RULES.

9. Ric Flair beat Terry Funk in a Texas Death Match. They did the old standing ten-count rule as opposed to the original plan, which was a 30-second rest period followed by a standing ten count. It was a good thing too, because most of the crowd would not have remained awake during a 40 second period of inactivity. These two didn’t do anything that looked bad, but they were really slow, particularly Funk. Flair took two suplexes outside and got pinned. No reaction whatsoever from the crowd. I can see Flair in 30 years playing a Mae Young role taking crazy bumps. Flair was up by five. Early in the match, the crowd was cheering like crazy for Flair and booing Funk, but by this point they were nearly comatose. Madden actually said there was a “dramatic silence” over the crowd. He was half right. Flair went to work on the leg and applied a Figure Four for a submission. Funk made it up by six and the match continued. Flair went up top and got tossed off, to which Madden commented that he hadn’t successfully come off the top since he beat Harley Race. Actually, that’s not true, but it’s pretty damn close. Flair took a piledriver on the cement, which looked great on TV. Apparently it didn’t look so good from where Tony was sitting because he actually said that Flair’s head never hit the cement. I swear to God I’m not making that comment up. Flair was then pinned by this move which the lead announcer had just stated wasn’t very bad after all. Flair got up by seven and the match continued. Funk took him into the ring and gave him this ABSOLUTELY AWESOME piledriver through a table. Funk refused to pin Flair and went to get another table. He was about to moonsault Flair through it when Flair jumped up and clipped his leg. Funk bumped backwards through the table, got pinned, and couldn’t make it to his feet by ten. This was OK for what it was. For what it’s worth, Flair was really pissed with how this match went down, particularly the fact that they were scheduled to go 24 minutes and were told during the match that they had to cut it down to 12. He was also pissed that Funk didn’t pin him after putting him through the table since that would have been a great finish, and thought the bump Funk had to take at the end was a bit anticlimactic. **1/2

10. Hulk Hogan beat Lex Luger. Hogan got a huge pop and the crowd was into this match more than anything else on the show. Hogan was pretty much in control through and used his cast as an offensive weapon. Liz interfered at one point but Jimmy stole the bat from her. Luger hit a devastating Vertical Suplex of Sure Defeat, but Hogan Hulked Up (TM) (R) (Copyright 1984 Terry Bollea). Luger cut him off with a low blow. Hogan then reversed a whip out of nowhere, hit Luger with his cast, and followed it up with the Legdrop of Doom for the pinfall. Bad match, bad finish. Flair ran out after the match and helped Luger jump Hogan, but Sting made the save. Big pop for that. Sting was in his Crow outfit by the way. WCW actually wanted him to come back with his old bleached flat-top gimmick, but he basically said kiss my ass. This was the match that Hogan said would start turning WCW around. *

11. Sid beat Scott Hall & Jeff Jarrett in a three-way to retain the WCW Title. Hall and Jarrett started fighting before Sid even got there. Sid finally showed up and ran wild. Harris Twins were at ringside and interfered regularly. Referee Billy Silverman took a bump and Sid hit a double chokeslam. Nick Patrick then ran in but both guys kicked out. Jarrett hit Sid with the belt to no reaction and made the cover. Sid kicked out. So Jarrett killed Patrick. Charles Robinson ran in but Jarrett took him out too. Ditto for Mickey Jay. Finally, part-time NWO and part-time WCW referee Slick Johnson ran in. Hall hit the Edge on Jarrett but Johnson refused to count. This brought RODDY PIPER OF ALL PEOPLE down to the ring in his referee gear. He beat up Johnson. Sid then chokeslammed Jarrett and powerbombed Hall. Piper counted as Sid pinned Hall. It’s a good thing that Roddy Piper decided to fly in for Superbrawl just in case four referees got bumped and a fifth heel referee decided to take matters into his own hands. This was an OK main event, but short. **

Internet Quote of the Week

“If there were two identical wrestlers by the name of Kanyon, and they were to wrestle, who would win? I say Kanyon would. However, if nobody is better than Kanyon, technically it would have to be a draw. If it were a WCW main event, it would end in a run in.”

Special Thanks

I would like to thank the following individuals for their help in putting Figure Four Weekly together: Gladys Gibson, Carlos and Valerie Alvarez, Dave Meltzer, Craig Proper, Brent Kremen, Mike Rodgers, Tadashi Tanaka, Natina Schulz, Koji Yamamoto, Peter Stein, Mike Lorefice, Carlos Loera, John Courville, Brian Schenk, Bruce Mitchell, Mike Mooneyham, Bob Barnett, Georgiann Makropolous.

WWF News and Notes

• Luna got fired, again. There was some sort of incident with one of the female television producers last week. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I do know that Luna claimed she was just ribbing the producer, but the producer told WWF officials that she was scared to death during the incident.
• Edge was on Byte This last week and said it would be fun to have his fiancee Alanna get involved in his storylines, but on the other hand he didn’t want her involved in the business. Let me tell you, the last thing in the WORLD that I’d want is my girlfriend involved with this shitty wrestling business. Torrie would be about the only exception.
• Fitness model Trish Stratus finally got her work VISA and should be debuting at any time.
• WWF is talking about doing a Fabulous Moolah book next year as part of the eight-book deal with Regan. If that book can get to the top of the bestseller list, it proves that the WWF is a marketing machine unlike any other. Personally, I’d much rather read Mae Young’s life story.
• Rock, Triple H and Mankind have been confirmed for the March 18th Saturday Night Live, which should be great hype for WrestleMania (and also strongly indicates a three-way main event).
• Glen Kulka was released and didn’t know it. The WWF posted the news on its website, and a few friends called Kulka to see what the deal was, and he didn’t even know it had happened. People sometimes ask me how the Internet has changed the business, and I can now add the following statement to my answer: “It has allowed fans to know which pro-wrestlers have been fired before the wrestlers themselves even know about it”. I’m not certain, but I believe a few months ago the ECW website posted the news that Tammy Sytch, Chris Candido, and Axl Rotten had been released before they knew about it. I should try to find out for sure since Paul Heyman is claiming Sytch and Candido are still under contract now that they want to get a job in WCW. This is the strangest business in the world. For what it’s worth, Candido and Sytch expect to be released at any time.
• WWFE stock was at 11 and 5/8 at press time, up 1/8 from the day before.
• Chris Benoit’s new website is up at www.ChrisBenoit.com. The site looks really good and Benoit is updating it and answering questions on his bulletin board pretty regularly. He also has a cool rant about Hulk Hogan up there this week.

WWF On Television

WWF Smackdown (February 17 — Taped February 15): The show opened with a DX Express bus arriving at the Arena. DX came down to the ring. Outlaws ran down Dudleys and said they were going to beat them up at No Way Out. X-Pac then grabbed the mic and yelled at HHH for signing him to face Kane in a no-holds-barred match at the PPV. Helmsely took the mic and said he was going to beat up Cactus. He said after the PPV, Cactus would be too beaten up to walk straight, too crippled to play with his kids, and his brain would be too scrambled to remember where in the hell he lived. Helmsely apologized to X-Pac and said he’d make it up to him by facing Kane on Smackdown. X-Pac suggested he put the title on the line. Hunter said OK. X-Pac then said he’d face Cactus on Smackdown as well. HHH talked him into making it a hardcore match. Hunter also signed Outlaws vs. Rock & Show for the main event... Hollyz made fun of Mae Young and Mark Henry backstage. Words were exchanged and then the Hollys jumped them. Mae took the only bump of the four... Kane NC HHH when DX ran in. DX kidnapped Paul and threw him into the DX bus. Kane tried to make the save, but he got tossed into the bus as well for his troubles. The bus drove away... Chyna d. Kirk Angel—DQ when Angle hit her with the belt. Jericho ran down to make the save and then petted Chyna on the head... I wouldn’t want to hug her either... Backstage, Henry and Mae went to the Acolytes Protection Agency. The Agency was actually just a table set up in the corner of the room, but the Acolytes had set up a door frame that people had to walk through which was really funny. Mark asked them to watch Mae because he had some bidness to attend to... DX bus came back, presumably without Bearer and Kane... Mae asked to play poker with the Acolytes. I thought for SURE they were going to do a strip poker angle, but luckily they didn’t... Tazz d. Gangrel quickly. This was over in about two minutes, but was among the best matches on the show, which should tell you how bad this show was... Lillian interviewed Cactus. Regarding Hunter’s comments, Cactus said he already hurts in the morning and sometimes can’t remember where he lives. He said he couldn’t guarantee victory at the PPV, but he guaranteed he’d come off the cage and go through Hunter’s body. Now I’m really worried... Mae won at poker repeatedly... X-Pac NC Foley when DX attacked him outside the building. They kidnapped him and tossed him into the DX bus. Match was OK... Dean Malenko & Saturn d. Too Cool when Eddy ran in with a steel pipe. Pretty good match. Rikishi, who had been injured by Eddy on Raw, limped down to the ring to make the save, but Eddy punked him out again. They destroyed Rikishi’s ankle with the ringsteps and a chair. Rikishi did a stretcher job... Eddy ran back out after commercial and demanded the ring announcer proclaim him the winner over Rikishi via forfeit. Radicals then ran down and celebrated with Eddy... Mae asked for a cigar backstage... Rock cut a promo and said he didn’t want that fat Gaint as his partner in the main event. He said his partner would be the People... DX bus returned again... Mae asked for a beer backstage. Acolytes said they wouldn’t give it to her because she was with child. She said the baby wouldn’t mind just one. They said OK. I can hear Brent Bozell clicking away on his keyboard right now... Edge & Christian d. Bossman & Albert. Bad guys beat up the longhairs afterwards. Cole noted that they were sore losers. No word as to why Bossman and Albert are friends again... Mae won every single dollar from the Acolytes at poker. She then offered to give it all back if they’d just come with her down to the ring. They agreed... Henry d. Hollys in a no-DQ handicap match. This is not as bad as it sounds. Mae called the Acolytes down to the ring and they killed the Hollys, leading to the win by Henry... A Monsters Of Rap commercial aired and it RULED THE WORLD... Rock NC Outlaws in a handicap match when Show ran in. They kidnapped Rock and finally succeeded in shoving him into the DX bus. The bus drove away as Show laughed like a madman. Suddenly, Rock appeared magically behind him and beat him up as the show ended. We never found out where the DX bus was taking everyone. I guess they’ll just be hanging out there all weekend until Raw. Really boring, illogical show.

Raw is War (February 21 — Live): This show took place at the Georgia Dome before a legit 27,464 fans. The heat was supposed to be really good live, but didn’t come across quite as good on TV due to the size of the building and the acoustics. The size of the crowd still made for awesome TV, however... DX came down to the ring to new entrance music. Time for a new CD I guess. DX made fun of the People, which of course brought out the Rock. Rock was CRAZEE over. Rock uttered the funniest line of his career, saying that Hunter came out every week and talked and talked and talked, but never said anything. Hunter said tonight would be a DX night. Foley then came out and revealed that DX had just dumped him off on the side of the road Thursday night. That’s logical I guess. Kane and Paul Bearer then came out. Foley said they wanted a six-man tag, at which point everyone got into a huge brawl in the ring. Show lumbered down to the ring and beat up everyone with his Pieface of Doom. DX cleared the ring and celebrated... Jericho came out and heaped praise on Chyna. Kurt Angle & British Bulldog d. Chyna & Jericho when Angle hit Jericho with his UK Title behind the referees back. This was better than you’d think with Chyna and Smith in there... Al Snow played “Da Dip” on a small radio and tried to talk Steve Blackman into dancing to the ring. Blackman destroyed the radio with his kendo stick. This was pretty funny... Too Cool beat Head Cheese. Al finally convinced Blackman to do the moonwalk in the middle of the match. It was the worst moonwalk in the history of man, but at least Blackman showed some charisma for three or four seconds of the 946,080,000 he’s been alive. Scott took the opportunity to roll Blackman up for the pin... Saturn & Dean Malenko d. Godfather & D-Lo Brown. This was not bad. There’s something really weird about seeing Saturn and Malenko selling for Godfather’s cartoonish offense. Highlight was undoubtedly Saturn derailing the Ho Train... A WWF “Hey kids, don’t be stupid” promo aired... Hardyz & Edge & Christian d. Dudleys & Outlaws. Jeff took a hellish beating throughout. This match was the bizzombski until the finish, which was all screwed up. Everyone hit the ring and brawled, at which point Jeff hit Billy with a senton bomb. Hebner counted two, but Christian pulled Jeff out of the ring for some reason. Edge then covered Billy and Hebner counted one, then rang the bell. Two plus one equals three, you know. Really fucking weird and it killed the crowd... Acolytes & Mark Henry d. Viscera & Hollys. Crash took the hella beating in this match. Afterwards, Mae Young ran in and started kicking Crash. Bob clotheslined her and then Viscera gave her a fatass splash. The announcers were teasing that she might have lost the baby. Of course, it will turn out that there was no baby, because there is no murder in the WWF, right? EMT’s ran in and strapped Mae to a backboard... Chris Benoit beat Test with the diving headbutt. Eddy Guererro was supposed to interfere for the finish, but he was late getting to the ring (either that or Test was early going to the finish), so time stood still for a second. Eddy ended up hitting Test with a crowbar leading to the finish. Test seemed a bit too overanxious in this match and took a sound beating as a result. I swear I could watch Chris Benoit squash matches all day long... Rikishi beat Eddy in a no-DQ match. This was over in seconds. Rikishi hit Eddy with a crutch and then sat on him for the pin. Rikishi kept forgetting to sell his broken ankle. In fact, he forgot so many times that Ross and Lawler were arguing about whether or not his ankle was “really hurt” or not. Radicals ran in and attacked Rikishi but Too Cool made the save... Tazz had a match with Bossman although I don’t know what the finish was. Tazz applied the katahajime. Bossman took his nightstick and started hitting Tazz, but Tazz wouldn’t let go. The referee then rang the bell. Did the referee stop the match and award it to Tazz or DQ Bossman for using his nightstick? We never found out for sure. Albert beat up Tazz afterwards... HHH & X-Pac & Pig Show d. Foley & Rock & Kane in a good main event. I swear I saw a “Pig Show” sign in the crowd. HHH used a fire extinguisher to the head of Foley for the pin. Wild brawl after the match which ended with DX escaping to their bus. Pretty good show, although nothing too noteworthy.

WWF On Tour

Knoxville, TN (February 19): D-Lo Brown & Godfather d. Midian & Gangrel, Brian Christopher d. Mosh, Edge d. Thrasher, Kurt Angle d. Christian, Acolytes d. Head Cheese, Jackie d. Ivory to retain the Women’s Title, Dudleys d. Hardyz in no-DQ match, Kane d. Bossman, Rock & Rikishi d. Hunter Hearst Helmsely & Pig Show.

Augusta, GA (February 20): Essa Rios d. Shoichi Funaki, Too Cool d. Headbangers, Jerry Lawler d. Brooklyn Brawler, Chris Jericho d. Bob Holly & Chris Benoit to retain the WWF IC Title, Jackie d. Ivory, Kurt Angle d. Tazz, Dudleys d. Hardyz in a no DQ match, Big Show d. Phatu, Test & New Jack d. New Age Outlaws—DQ. This was the first house show tour for the Radicals.

Columbus, GA (February 20): Midian & Gangrel d. Mean Street Posse, Dean Malenko d. Christian, Mark Henry d. Viscera, Acolytes d. Head Cheese, Viscera d. D-Lo Brown, Saturn d. Prince Albert, Edge d. Big Bossman, Rock & Kane d. HHH & X-Pac.

WCW News and Notes

• Chris Kanyon called Bill Busch Friday afternoon and asked whether he was going to get his release or not. Busch said he wasn’t getting it, and asked Kanyon to hang out for another month and see how things were. Kanyon apparently told him the next time they talked it would be through a lawyer, and hung up. Kanyon insists that he was offered $500,000 to stay with the company, whereas WCW is insisting that he was never offered any raise whatsoever. Kanyon was also livid Friday about comments made by JJ Dillon to others. Dillon claimed that Kanyon had only worked 55 days for the company last year, perhaps forgetting that WCW had assigned him to work two movies (Jesse Ventura special and Ready to Rumble) which had kept him away from home for over six months total. Kanyon told friends that if you add everything up, he was on the road a total of 235 days last year, which is more than anyone else in the entire company. Kanyon was scheduled to face Kidman on Nitro (you know, in that match that went seconds before the Harris Twins ran in), although he reportedly called the WCW Talent Hotline all weekend and there wasn’t a line-up for Nitro up until 8:00 PM Sunday night, plus he never received a plane ticket in the mail. So he didn’t show up. This sounds incredible, but there are actually some wrestlers in WCW who think the only reason Kanyon asked for his release was so that he could get some time off to work on construction of Klub Kanyon, which will feature a beach volleyball court, a hot tub, a putting green, a pool, a big deck and a bar with a running tap. I’m not making that up. Some also think that even if he got his release, he wouldn’t be able to afford the pay cut he’d likely get in WWF (some are expecting he’d be offered only about a $150,000 downside guarantee).
• Here’s the complete story on the Hulk Hogan interview from Thunder. Hogan taped a promo on Nitro in which he said that his arm was hurt, but he’d still be at SuperBrawl to face Luger. Somehow, the interview never ended up on tape, so it was either erased or someone forgot to push the RECORD button. Regardless, Mike Tenay and Bobby Heenan were under the assumption that the interview was gone forever. So during the show they kept talking about how Hogan was hurt, but would still make the PPV. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Tenay noted that we were now going to go to a Hulk Hogan interview. What happened was that WCW called Hogan and had him drive out to a studio Tuesday night, cut his promo all over again, and beam it to the building via satellite. Hogan did as he was told, but nobody bothered to tell Tenay or Heenan about it, so they looked like fools for not hyping up this interview even once during the show. Nathaniel Hawthorne could not have written a better fiction story symbolizing almost everything wrong with WCW.
• Tony Maranera was fired this past Friday by WCW, apparently for doing everything they asked him to do and suffering numerous concussions along the way. Maranera was the star of the recent crop of Cruiserweights to come into the WCW Power Plant. It was said that he could have been a major player if he’d just put on a little weight. One source said he was fired “because they wanted to fire someone”.
• Morale in WCW may be at an all-time low right now, with JJ Dillon in particular being called “almost universally hated”.
• You know, in a real business guys would call meetings if they had problems they wanted to discuss. In wrestling, everyone goes on the Internet by themselves and takes turns blasting people they don’t like. A few weeks ago, Hulk Hogan was on Mancow and went on a tirade directed at Billy Kidman, saying Kidman couldn’t even headline a wrestling show at a flea market. Kidman was then a guest on both Wrestling Observer Live and The Law, running down Hogan. He said that he could tell from Hogan’s comments that there was no top spot for him in the company, and he regretted not getting his release and going to WWF. Saturn then went on his website and blasted Hogan, saying the Yellow Bastard was an egomaniac that was killing off any good attitudes still left in WCW. Saturn said Hogan always had his own dressing room and wouldn’t interact or hang out with any of the younger wrestlers. He said in two-and-a-half years Hogan hadn’t said enough words to him to fill up one paragraph, and it took him three months before he found out what Saturn’s ring name was and stopped calling him “Satellite”. Saturn said nobody had taken more and given less to this business than Hogan. Hogan responded by going on Mancow again and ripping apart Saturn, calling him a mark that believed he really had a marketable personality. Hogan went on to say that Russo’s T&A; formula was responsible for the downfall of WCW and that his match with Luger at SuperBrawl was going to be the match that turned the company around. He kind of made fun of Jeff Jarrett and Bret Hart, insinuating that they were the reason the new NWO wasn’t working. He also noted that the guys over 40 were the only ones in WCW with any credibility in the eyes of the fans. What an absolute jackass. The reason the younger guys don’t have any credibility is because the older guys won’t put them over. Sometimes I listen to things Hogan says and I think he’s this incredibly intelligent man who knows everything there is to know about the business, and sometimes I listen to him and think that he knows how to manipulate people and protect himself, but doesn’t really comprehend the solutions to these problems.
• WCW is saying Scott Steiner is currently under a 90-day suspension (some sources say 60) without pay. Most wrestlers still don’t believe this story.
• Clips of Shawn Stasiak training at the Power Plant aired this week on WCW WorldWide.
• Almost nobody believed Sid really had a concussion either. The wrestling business is incredible. In what other business could news stories like this be considered totally made-up by the parties involved? Politics doesn’t count.
• Buff Bagwell, whose neck is still bothering him, returned at the WCW Saturday Night tapings.
• There is talk that more performers may be added to the racial discrimination lawsuit against WCW, including several of the Luchadors.
• Speaking of lawsuits, the current edition of WCW Magazine referred to Tony Norris (Big T) as “Ahmed Johnson”.
• WCW announced on its website Thursday that James Brown would definitely be appearing at the SuperBrawl PPV. I am going to go under the assumption that the agreement wasn’t set in stone until the day they made the announcement, because if WCW knew last week and made no mention of this on either Nitro or Thunder then they are total morons. One could argue that Earnest Miller DID promise he’d be at SuperBrawl, but that doesn’t count because Miller promised Brown would be on both Thunder and Nitro as well, and he wasn’t there.
• Nothing was settled in the Shane Douglas situation last week. His Wednesday deadline to be reinstated came and went, so Douglas is telling friends that he’s now preparing to file suit against WCW for wrongful termination.
• The Dream Date with Three Count is a real contest.
• Idol missed Nitro last week due to high blood pressure.
• They are doing an angle where Jim Duggan found the WCW TV Title in the trash and is now defending it on TV because he still respects it. At the tapings, Steve Regal challenged Duggan for the title and said he’d retire if he lost, and Duggan said OK. Duggan went on to win. Regal was released by WCW and was working a per-show deal for the company, so I guess he might retire for a few weeks now. I don’t know what the funniest part of this story is. The fact that Duggan is the Champion, the fact that this happened on a show that averages a 1.5 rating, or the fact that this means nobody in WCW took the trash out for two whole months.
• Ric Flair met with Jesse Ventura last week and reportedly asked him how deep the press was going to dig into his personal life if he ran for Governer. Ventura apparently told him really deep. Several newspapers in his home state Tuesday reported that Flair would definitely not be running.

WCW On Television

Wednesday Thunder (February 16 — Taped February 15): Terry Taylor came down to the ring looking very unhappy and said he was a representative of WCW. The fans booed. That’s not surprising when you look at how this company has portrayed itself over the years. Taylor said Hall and Sid had gotten into a fight at the hotel. He said that in order to protect both Sid and the main event of SuperBrawl, they had asked Sid to go home. Everyone booed. Except me, that is. I cheered wildly at the thought of no Sid. Suddenly, Jeff Jarrett and the twins came out. Jarrett yelled at Taylor for taking away his title shot Monday. They attacked Taylor and Jarrett nailed him with a guitar... Tenay hyped up the show and talked about Hogan’s broken arm suffered at the hands of Lex Luger. Bobby went into a tirade directed at Hogan, hinting that the Yellow Bastard had been responsible for breaking his neck years ago... Mike Tenay said that Psicosis was stuck in Mexico, so Kaz Hayashi was going to replace him in the Cruiserweight Title Tournament... Artist d. Hayashi. Miss Hancock came out and teased a catfight with Paisley, but nothing happened... Wall d. Norman Smiley. Wall just killed him. Norman took a chokeslam off the apron through a table and sold it like he was dead. They did a total stretcher job... Nash chatted with his friends Neil and Bob backstage. Nash is usually horrible when he gets in the ring or cuts a long promo, but he can be funny when he’s kept in limited speaking roles backstage... Tank Abbott killed Hammer. Hammer got one takedown but then ate the punch. Crowd popped for the KO... Luger came out and went into a long rant. He called out Flair, who cut another heel promo and finally got booed. Funk came out with Dustin and yelled at Flair. Apparently, Funk is still pissed about the “chicken rancher” comment Flair made several weeks ago. Funk wanted a tag match in the main event with Dustin as his partner. Flair made fun of Dustin. Funk went out of his way to say Dustin was tons better than his father Dusty Rhodes. This will not be the last time you read “Dusty” and “tons” in the same sentence. Flair and Luger agreed to the match... They zoomed in on a “Hall’s a drunk bastard!” sign... Harris Twins d. Kidman & Vampiro. Vamp walked out on Kidman, then came back and ate a chairshot for the pin. Not too good... Big Vito d. Crowbar in a Philadelphia Street fight. They fought all over backstage. David and Daphne were hiding and kept thrown fruits at the two (really). This was a pretty good match and they tried hard... Mark Johnson d. Mickey Jay in a battle of the referees. Is it any surprise that this show started at a 2.8 and dropped to a 2.2 by the main event? This was a really bad match and the crowd HATED it. Since this is WCW, they’ll be doing a rematch on the show next week... Knobs d. Fit Finley. Jimmy Hart was the referee so all three guys had casts on. Jimmy “hurt his hand” counting for Finley so Knobs was able to kick out. Knobs then hit Finley with his cast and Jimmy ingeniously used his good arm to count the pinfall. Why didn’t either guy just use his cast at the beginning of the match?... Hogan cut his interview live via satellite. This was straight out of the 80s. Hogan said he’d be at the PPV, even with his broken arm. God, this was SO 80s... Flair & Luger d. Funk & Dustin. Luger hit Rhodes with the bat, knocking him out. Flair then put on the Figure Four. Rhodes was unconscious, so Flair pinned him. This was a HUGE mistake to put Flair and Funk in the ring together right before the PPV. This was the fifth straight day that Funk had worked a match in WCW, the first three of which had been in Germany. He looked SO old in there with Flair and it totally killed any of my desire to see their match on PPV... Nash was shown backstage telling Jarrett that the twins were banned from the Cow Palace for the PPV. They got into a huge argument and Jarrett KO’d Nash with the guitar. The guitar didn’t even break, so Nash looked like he was killed. Pretty bad show with the absolute worst crowd ever. Keep in mind that this TV show began immediately after the audience had been sitting around watching Dave Penzer tell jokes for 45 minutes due to the backstage situation with Scott Hall. So the crowd was angry and tired and had to sit through two more hours of bad wrestling. Terrible TV show to lead into the PPV.

WCW Monday Nitro (February 21 — Live): Nitro opened with a shot of Jeff Jarrett arriving at the Arena, pissed... Gene said he was going to interview someone, but he never said who it was going to be. Lex Luger came out, which shocked Gene. Perhaps Luger thought that he was the person Gene was referring to. Luger said he was buff. He ran down Hogan. The Yellow Bastard came out and challenged Luger to a cage match in the main event. Luger never said OK, but the match was on. Hogan added that this was going to be a Last Man Standing cage match, since everything in WCW has to have a stupid stipulation, which meant that whomever escaped the cage won... Jarrett came out. He said at SuperBrawl he was screwed for the last time. Well that sucks. He explained that he had a contract guaranteeing him a rematch against Sid. He said — get this — that Nash signed the document while unconscious. If that’s not hokey enough, WCW officials examined the document and we were later told that they had confirmed that this was Nash’s real signature. I love how WCW portrays all of its employees as total fools... Someone stole Kidman’s video camera backstage... Madusa went nuts in another area backstage when she found out she wasn’t booked for the show... Lash NC Kidman in seconds when the Harris Twins ran in. What a waste. No wonder everyone wants out of their contract... Someone with the Kidcam filmed Buff Bagwell hitting on Symphony backstage. She turned him down. Even though the camera was supposed to be hidden, Bagwell kept looking right at it... Vampiro d. Fit Finley. No bad. Finley gave Vamp a tombstone after the match... Maestro attacked Buff backstage for hitting on his girlfriend... Madusa whispered something to La Parka backstage... Booker was interviewed about his match with Big Vito... Mamalukes came down to the ring. Disco said that he was scheduled to face Booker. I thought Booker said he was wrestling Big Vito? Disco then decided to offer Booker a tag title shot against both Mamalukes. Match was over in like two minutes when the goddamn Harris Twins ran in again. Why does management think anyone in their right mind wants to watch the twins?... Funk and Dustin Rhodes cut a promo. Funk again noted that Dustin was ten times better than his father... Harlem Eat cut a promo backstage. They introduced their newest member (4x4) as “Cassius”... Artist beat La Parka. La Parka was Madusa in disguise, and Oklahoma ran in to spoil that ruse. The real Parka then ran in and hit Oklahoma with a chairshot. Artist then pinned real Parka with his diving DDT. Weird... Funk & Rhodes NC Harris Twins. Sid and Jeff Jarrett came out during this match. Sid chased Jarrett around the ring like this was a cartoon and then to the backstage area, where Jeff escaped in a car. They kept cutting back and forth from the ring to the backstage area. During one of the cuts back to the ring, Dustin turned on Funk and gave him a DDT. This was a total clusterfuck and the impact was ruined for fans at home. Dustin beat up Funk and gave him several hard unprotected chairshots to the head... Backstage, Dustin beat up Funk and stole the ambulance that was supposed to take him to the hospital... Gene interviewed Sid. He challenged Jarrett to a match at Uncensored... Bagwell d. Maestro. Shat distracted Maestro leading to the pin. It pains me to say this, but that Symphony sure gives Torrie a run for her money. Shat said a bet is a bet and Maestro had to come out to rap music from now on. The angle is that Maestro goes crazy hearing rap, but is soothed by classical stuff. Maestro needs a new gimmick right now... Sid was shown jumping into a car and driving after Jarrett, even though Jarrett had driven away about fifteen minutes earlier... Clips of Duggan getting the TV Title on Saturday night aired. With all this hype, the show might draw a 1.6 next week... Wall d. Bigelow. Bad, but not horrible... Flair yelled at Arn and David backstage. Apparently David isn’t crazy when he’s hanging around Arn... Hogan cut a 20-year-old promo challenging Luger... Luger beat Hogan in the cage match. Luger and Flair beat up Jimmy Hart before the match. Finish saw Flair running in to totally kill the concept of a cage match. They beat up Hogan, all the referees and Doug Dillinger. Luger “broke Doug’s arm” with a chair. The show went off the air before anyone escaped the cage, but trust me, Luger got out first. After the show ended, Hogan slowly came to. He looked around at all the bodies strewn about and screamed: “Who did this, brother?” As Dillinger and all the dead security guys were carried out on stretchers, Hogan, instead of helping, went into one of his trademarked posing routines. I swear this is true. Typical Yellow Bastard.

ECW News and Notes

• We have gotten a few calls and e-mails from people around the US who have heard ECW on TNN radio ads in their area.
• Sabu is reportedly preparing litigation in an attempt to get out of his ECW contract to jump to WCW.

ECW On Television

ECW on TNN (February 18 — Taped): This show opened with a shot of Cyrus yelling into the camera at ECW for allowing Dusty Rhodes to put his chubby hands on him the week before. Cyrus also noted that ECW would be forced to strip Rob Van Dam of the TV Title, although he didn’t specify when or where. I assume at the PPV... Masato Tanaka cut a promo in Japanese... I wonder if there’s such a thing as carny Japanese... Danny Doring & Roadkill d. Nova & Chris Chetti. This was SO indy. Actually, Doring’s kicks were even worse than indy-level. Highlight of the match was Joey Styles calling a Hart Attack a “Lancaster Lariat of Lust”. The Impact Players ran in after the match and destroyed everyone. I sure like Dawn Marie... Mike Awesome cut a promo. He reminds me of a really nice guy who isn’t very good at acting mean... Super Crazy d. CW Anderson. Damn is Crazy ever crazy good. Finish saw Crazy put an inverted table on Anderson and then moonsault it, almost impaling himself on the table leg in the process. That was crazy... Backstage, Doring and Roadkill cut one of the funniest promos I’ve ever seen in my whole damn life. The thing that was so funny was that they were trying to act dead serious, yet nobody in their right mind could have taken their facials or anything that they said seriously... Mike Awesome d. Masato Tanaka with a super powerbomb through a table in their usual very good match. Joey made a huge deal about how he felt Tanaka got the pin at one point but the referee screwed up. I assume this will become an angle to lead to the PPV.

ECW On Tour

LaCrosse, WI (February 18): Mike Awesome d. Rhino, Tommy Dreamer & Sandman d. Steve Corino & Jack Victory, Spike Dudley d. Lance Storm, Masato Tanaka d. Angel, Spike Dudley d. Dupps, Super Crazy d. Little Guido & Yoshihiro Tajiri, Roadkill d. Chris Chetti.

Milwaukee, WI (February 19 — TNN Tapings): Dangerous Alliance d. Nova & Chris Chetti, Danny Doring & Roadkill d. Dupps, Sandman d. Rhino, Jazz d. Simon Diamond, Super Crazy d. Little Guido & Yoshihiro Tajiri, Impact Players d. Raven & Tommy Dreamer, Mike Awesome d. Spike Dudley. The main angle of the show was Dreamer getting powder thrown in his eyes and accidentally DDT’ing Francine.

Etcetera
• Make sure you check out the “Off the Top Rope” radio show if you live in the Chicago area, hosted by our good buddy Brian Schenk. It currently airs from 7:00 to 8:30 AM on WEEF AM 1430 every Saturday morning. Brian is also selling tapes of his show, and you can receive a sample copy for $2 to PO Box 6082, Lindenhurst, IL 60046. For more information, you can e.mail Brian at his new e.mail address: offthetoprope@mailcity.com.
• Thanks for reading this week!





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TODAY's POLL
 Is the WWF handling the WCW invasion angle properly?
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  Still too early to tell