The Karreen


By Jinskid3 (Jenny)



Disclaimer: you know the drill, I don't own Xena, yadda, yadda, yadda. though I do own most of the chosen’s. not all, but most. I’m sure you know which ones.

Rating: Uhhhh... I don't know, PG-13? it all depends on the reader I guess

Sex: Ummm... maybe

Violence: no duh! I think the answer is obvious

Subtext: between Xe and Gabs? if you want that then you’re crazy. and anyways. she's dead.

Timeline: somewhere in season two I guess

Feedback: sure, whatever. Jinskid3@aol.com

Dedications: Ephiny4 for encouraging me on my story, Goddess Delenn for being the greatest friend a girl could have, Illy for her fab stories (really inspired me), SB (finish DR soon!), and all the X/A fans Summary: It's time for the annual get together on Mt. Olympus...

okay, shutting up now

P.S. Gabrielle is dead cause I hate her! Ok, now the story.

~*~


"Ares!" Xena called. "Ares, come here!"

"Yes princess?" Ares purred and grinned. He knew how much she like that nickname, no matter how much she hid it.

"It's about time. Let's go and don't forget Argo. And don't call me that." Ares smiled at Xena's fondness of her former war-horse.

"Yes, princess." Xena rolled her eyes. She took his hand and they vanished into the aether in flash of blue light.

~*~


Olympus was full of gods and mortals. Xena and Ares appeared in a burst of light.

"Xena, Ares!" Aphrodite came over. "Like how are you?" She squeezed Xena into a death-gripped hug.

"Dite I'll be fine when you stop cutting off my air supply!"

"Oops! Like totally sorry Warrior Babe!"

"No problem." Xena managed to get out.

"Xena!" Two voices rang out.

"Cupid! Artemis! It's great to see you!" Xena hugged them both. "How's Bliss? Stolen any arrows recently?" Xena teased winged love god.

He blushed slightly. "Fine. Psyche is keeping a close eye on him."

"Artemis! It's been a long time!" Xena said, turning her attention to Hunt Goddess.

"I know! It's been over a year!"

"We have a lot of catching up to do!"

Ares, not appreciating being left alone, spoke up. "Uh, Xena. We have to change."

Xena pursed her lips and sighed. "Then let's go. I'll see you guys later." She waved to the god and goddesses and walked off to the Halls of War. Ares ran after her.

~*~


Arriving in the Halls of War, Xena headed to her bedrooms. She stopped, feeling a flood of memories. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to get a hold of herself. 'No! Don't think about it! Bad, bad!' Xena thought. She got busy looking for the dresses that she had to wear for the festival.

"Xena?" Ares appeared.

"Ares do I have to wear this?" Xena held up a blood red dress. It had long slits on either side, giving the wearer free movement. It had thin spaghetti straps and it was extremely revealing.

"Xena, it's our tradition. You wear that dress during the Karreen and I dress up at least once during the Karreen."

"You'd think the God of War would be HAPPY for the chance to not dress up in front of the other gods." Xena muttered.

"I would, however, why would I lose the chance for you to be in that dress? you look ravishing in it." 'As I remember.' Ares thought, chuckling slightly.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Xena responds tartly.

"I've noticed." Ares replied dryly.

A horn blew, announcing opening ceremonies. Xena and Ares both sighed. Ares offered his arm. Xena smirked and took it. "Well my dear. It's time for another delightful festival with the gods. How do you feel?" Ares said sounding like corny reporter (from You Are There).

"Well Ares." Xena replied sounding like the winner of a horse race. (A/N gimme a break. I’m BEING uuuhhh ... I’m LIVING in the present!) "I do love being around gods, goddesses, and their fucking chosen’s. So let's go! We don't want to be so late that we mess up our traditional entrance!" Ares and Xena laughed and disappeared.

A feminine voice was heard throughout the now empty room. "And I'm not your dear!" A peal of laughter echoed throughout the room.

~*~


Zeus scowled. "You're late." He frowned at the two who had just appeared in the middle of the room.

"Yes we are." Ares grinned. "Whatcha gonna do about it?" He taunted Zeus. Xena grinned. It had become a game between her and Ares to see who could piss Zeus off the most. They irritated him to no end.

"Yeah Zeussy. Watcha gonna do about it?" Xena put in her two dinars.

She and Ares laughed and high-fived each other. Zeus turned red while the rest of the gods and mortals held their breath.

"THAT IS IT!!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!! YOU TWO HAVE BEEN TORMENTING ME FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS!!!!!!! HAVEN'T YOU TWO HAD ENOUGH!?!?!?!?" Zeus bellowed.

Everyone, with the exception of Xena and Ares, stared at him. They have never heard Zeus blow up like that. Blow up, yes. Like that, because of irritation? No. Xena and Ares stood laughing through it all. They took one look at Zeus and his now purple face, looked at each other, and blew up laughing. "Nope!" They said together and laughed again.

Zeus groaned, sighed and sank into his throne, defeated. 'I hate them!' He thought viciously. 'I hate them both! I swear I'll kill them!'

"All right." Zeus said wearily. "Let's get back to the ceremony." Xena and Ares, who were both chuckling, sat down at their table. Everybody looked at them in shock.

"What's wrong? Trying to catch flies?" Xena commented, getting everybody to close their mouths and pay attention to Zeus. Ares snickered.

"Okay. As I was saying," Zeus glared at the two for emphasis. "Welcome to the Karreen, the annual festival for the gods of Olympus and their chosen’s. As we will be here for the next two weeks, we might as well introduce ourselves. This is my chosen, Hercules." Xena watched Hercules rise, surprised.

Ares and quite a few others also watched him with hate-filled faces. "Hera and Cassandra," Zeus went on.

They stood up, nodding at everyone. They looked a lot alike, the peacock feather on their heads finishing their outfits off.

"Hades and Delenn." Hades stood along with Xena's old friend, Delenn.

"Poseidon and Jason." Xena gave another surprised look as Hercules' stepfather and former king of Corinth stood.

"Ares and Xena." Xena stood up.

Athena muttered, "Destroyer of Nation whore." Ares turned.

Xena took his arm, and whispered, "I'll take care of this." Ares sat down, tense. Xena walked over to Athena. "Say Athena," she asked innocently. "What's with your hair? It looks a bit more messed up then usual. Did you mess it up while you were shagging Apollo?" Xena grinned a 'way too sweet' sickly smile.

The entire room fell silent. Even Hercules was hanging his mouth open in shock. Ares was shaking silently with suppressed laughter. 'Good one.' He thought.

"Well?" Xena inquired while Athena, along with everybody else, stared. "What, hydra got your tongue?" She implied.

Everybody snapped out of their trances. Athena stood up and yelled, "bitch!"

Xena smirked. "Took ya long enough!"

Athena turned blue and a sword appeared in her hand. Apollo appeared behind Xena, a sword also in his hand. He was purple. "You're gonna pay for that!"

He and Athena raced toward Xena. She drew her sword and blocked blow after blow. Athena threw a fire bolt, which Xena dodged expertly. "Aw, c’mon I know you can do better than that." She taunted.

Apollo and Athena screamed with fury and fought harder. Xena was put on defensive. She could take both of them but not at the same time. And their gods. Xena was bound to tire.

Ares, who was watching with interest, drew his sword and joined the fray. He never could resist a good fight, especially with his fellow gods.

Xena grinned at him as he took Athena and she took Apollo. She flipped over him, screaming her war cry. Apollo, not expecting the attack, looked around confused. 'What an idiot.' Xena thought. (*grins*sorry to all those Apollo lovers! *mutters* if there are any.) She dropped and kicked at his knees, weakening them. He turned around, surprised. Xena was about to kick his legs from under him when all four of them were thrown apart by several thunderbolts.

"That is enough!" Zeus was livid with anger. "There will be no more sword fights during the festival. If you're position is War or Chosen of War, then you may have practice fights. Otherwise, violators will be punished. Got it?" Zeus glared at everybody for effect.

Everyone nodded, with the exception of Ares and Xena. Xena didn't worship and Ares... well, Ares almost never obeyed Zeus.

"Now, before we were so rudely interrupted," Zeus glared daggers at the four who were in the fight. "Aphrodite and Joxer." Dite and Joxer stood, Joxer tripping as he did so.

"Apollo and Diclerous." Apollo, his clothes no longer slashed, stood, looking humiliated, sulky, and angry.

"Artemis and Ephiny." The two stood, both trying to hide their laughter.

"Athena and Elainus." Athena looked like Apollo, only angrier.

Xena hid a chuckle. She and Ares turned to each other, trying to suppress laughter, rather unsuccessfully (might I add). Athena, Elainus, Apollo, and Diclerous turned to glare at them, Diclerous leering at Xena. Ares growled and gave a look at Diclerous. He abruptly shifted his gaze to Zeus. Xena looked on, amused. 'It's so cute, when he's protective like that.' She mused. She sighed. It was going to be a LONG two weeks.

The rest of the opening ceremonies was uneventful, unless of course you count when Ares and Xena got bored and decided to play a few pranks, which resulted in Athena being stuck in hot pink lingerie (think Dite), Apollo in makeup and a dress, Discord turning into a worm, Hercules turning into a big, pink, fluffy stuffed bear (not moving), Diclerous wearing a ballerina outfit, complete with a tiara and tutu, and Zeus.... let's just say that Zeus won't be coming out of the bathroom for awhile. They even got Aphrodite to stick Elainus with a couple of love bolts. Elainus is now suffering from a disease in which she is now in love with a really big, friendly, always licking, always pooping and peeing dog. Hera was thrilled though, I can say that. She gave Xena and Ares a big hug (Xena and Ares, along with everybody else who saw, were shocked to say the least), a smooch on the cheek (everybody except Xena and Ares fainted.), and gave them her blessing. Xena was then dubbed as one of her favorites (Ares was already a favorite. Go figure) and they are now both under her protection at all times. Needless to say, not a lot of people were happy about it.

ANYWAYS, it was after opening ceremonies, and Xena and Ares were in the Great Hall, talking to some of the other gods, goddesses, and chosen’s. "Like, hiya Herc! How's it like, you know, like going?" Needless to say, that was Aphrodite.

"Fine, how're you?" Xena shook her head. 'Poor Herc,' she thought. 'He doesn't have enough brain cells to fill a quarter of his head. All brawns and no brains. I'm surprised he hasn't died already.' (sorry to all the Herc lovers!) Ares looked at her surprised and amused. She realized he must have heard her. She grinned at him and he grinned back, sniggering. Xena turned back to the conversation, and soon found herself yawning. 'Boring.' She thought. She turned to another conversation.

"Hey Artemis! I heard that your amazons just a won a big battle!" Joxer said.

"Yeah they did! I am very proud of them!" Artemis replied.

Xena rolled her eyes and stopped listening. She went to Ares and sighed. "This is sooooo boring!" Xena told him. "Why don't we just-"

She was interrupted by Salmoneus and Autolycus. Autolycus was Hermes' Chosen and Salmoneus was one of Hermes' favorites and was with Autolycus when Hermes came for Auto. So he was brought along.

"Hello Xena. You look beautiful as all ways." Autolycus kissed her hand.

Ares growled at him. Xena rolled her eyes. "Hello Autolycus. Hi Salmoneus. How's it going?"

"Absolutely fine now that you are here. That was a fabulous display during opening ceremonies. I congratulate you. We must get together sometime."

Autolycus said. He grinned his 'charming' grin. 'You've got to be kidding me,' Xena thought. "Maybe we will." She replied.

"Hey Xena! Would you like to buy an 'I know Olympus!' mug? Or how about a-"

Xena cut him off. "No thanks, I'm fine." She said ruefully.

Salmoneus looked disappointed. Xena replied hastily. "Look. I'm er... tired and I want to rest. Okay?" Everybody nodded.

Xena turned to Ares. "Let's go." Ares took her hand and was about to leave when somebody called out her name.

"Xena! Hey Xe!" Xena turned sharply. Nobody except Ares was ever allowed to call her that. Nobody except....

"Lyceus!" Xena whispered. She ran over to embrace him. "How are you here? Are you happy? I missed you so much!" Xena exclaimed.

Lyceus laughed. "I missed you too! And yes I'm happy. And for why I'm here, I don't know. Hades has allowed me to stay for the festival, however. We get to be together for the next two weeks!"

Xena smiled. "I'm so glad! I thought I would never see you again! I love you so much!"

"I love you too." Lyceus replied. A voice (Hercules' I think) interrupted the newly reunited siblings.

"Uh Xena. Who's he?" Xena turned to see everybody staring at them. "Oh. Everybody this is Lyceus. My brother." Everybody except Ares stared in shock. Ares didn't seem surprised. "Lyceus. This is Hercules, the Chosen of Zeus. He's all brawns and no brains," Xena said, dropping her voice to a whisper as she said the last part. Lyceus laughed. Xena pointed to each of them as she said his or her name. "That's Ares, God of War and Hate and my patron god, Artemis, Goddess of Hunt, Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Beauty, Cupid, God of Love. Delenn, my old friend and Hades' Chosen, Cara, Cupid's Chosen, and that's Autolycus, Hermes' Chosen. And that's Salmoneus, one of Hermes' favorites. He's a 'not very successful merchant," she again whispered to Lyceus. He snickered slightly. Xena went on. "There's Jason, former king of Corinth, Chosen of Poseidon, Ephiny, Amazon Queen and Artemis' Chosen, Joxer, Aphrodite's Chosen, and Leah, Hestia's Chosen." She finished. She turned to Lyceus.

"Uh Xena?" He asked.

"Yes?"

Lyceus replied with a nervous smile. "You do realize that Leah looks exactly like you."

Xena smiled. "Yes I do. There are 3 women that I know of in the world who looks exactly like me. Leah's one of them."

"Oooo, if everyone of them is like you, then I don't think anybody could stand it."

Xena playfully punched him in the arm. Lyceus rubbed his arm, pretending to look hurt. "That hurt!"

Xena laughed. This was gonna be fun!

Ares stood, watching his princess laugh. She looked so happy. He hated to interrupt the reunion, but they had to go.

"Xena." Ares said.

Xena and Lyceus turned. "We have to go." Xena looked disappointed. Ares sighed. "Lyceus may come too if he wants."

Xena cheered up, smiling. She glanced at Lyceus, who nodded. Xena grinned and took his hand, taking him to Ares. "Let's go." Ares said. They held hands and vanished in a flash of blue sparks.

~*~


TBC









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