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Kieu-Anh's posting on Vietnamese or English
On Thursday, December 19, 1996 9:02 PM, Anonymous =
<email> wrote:
>Hi all,
>
>I really don't know what to say to respond to the posting below, but I
>guess I can take a shot at it.
I've snipped what follows so that some may read what I have to say in =
response to Kieu-Anh's posting
I wasn't sure how to react to this post; at first it made me feel a =
little guilty, and I had to remind myself, hey, wait a minute, I haven't =
done anything. Then I remembered the asinine bit of neo-colonial trash =
that it was in response to, and made up my mind that I concur.
Let me tell a little about myself. I'm not Vietnamese. I'm not Asian. =
I'm a Caucasian, American-born, and I've never been to Vie^t Nam (I'm =
correcting this omission in a big way this May or June). I date only =
Asian guys, and I have dated a lot of Vietnamese. My diet is about 80% =
Vietnamese, and I am one of those annoying people who speaks a few words =
of the language. I DON'T attempt to actually speak even the most =
rudimentary phrases, except for "Den doi la <my name here>." I speak =
only the Vietnamese I've learned off menus in restaurants, and I speak =
it so I can get the food I love and to convince the restaurant that I =
really do want it with the bones and the viscera, just like a Vietnamese =
would eat it, and not "cleaned up" for me because I'm a dumb Caucasian =
who doesn't know how to eat. And so I'll get nu'o'c ma^m instead of soy =
sauce. =20
So when I read Kieu-Anh's angry posting, boy, were my ears red. I had =
to remind myself that I don't struggle with the tones and diphthongs of =
a difficult language to impress anyone, Vietnamese or otherwise. =20
The reason I support Kieu-Anh in this is because I think I have some =
idea where he's coming from. I too found that post he's responding to =
insulting, although "silly" fits my reaction better. The insult was =
obviously inadvertent, the result of insensitivity more than racism. =20
But.
I'm a Caucasian, and I date Asians. I love the men I date, and I try =
very hard to be sensitive and not presume, and to treat them as equals, =
as partners, and not as "ornamentals." This stuff has come up a lot =
lately, and it's hard for me to write about, so bear with me, OK? =20
I've followed lots of times in the tracks of those "rice queens." I've =
dated some really decent and loving people who had been wounded and =
embittered by them. I have a Cantonese friend in Illinois who has been =
raped, bound and beaten, blackmailed, forced to work unpaid as a =
servant, and degraded in every way imaginable, and he is a SWEET and =
WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING. I have a Filipino friend I care for very much =
whose trust was rewarded by being brutally penetrated before he was 19 =
years old. I have other friends who have been head-tripped, humiliated, =
and treated as objects. If I could get my hands on any of the men that =
did these things, well, never mind. =20
I've read the ads. The older men seeking a "slender and submissive" =
Asian to serve as their "houseboy." I don't buy into this liberal guilt =
crap, but those ads make me really ashamed to have anything in common =
with the human filth who write them. =20
Some of us regard our Vietnamese friends and lovers with adoration, and =
we respect their culture and their otherness with the greatest pride. =
Some of us try really hard to understand that our interest in another =
culture and language is not always taken the right way, and we struggle =
not to condescend. We struggle to appreciate without insulting. We =
don't always succeed, in part because we don't understand, and perhaps =
in part because we ARE guilty of stereotyping. But some of us try. =20
Some of use, Kieu-Anh, maybe not many, but some of us give a shit. =20
Chris Fox
<email>
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
"No choice, pal"
-- LAPD Capt. Bryant, "Bladerunner" (1982)
Chris Fox
Woodinville, WA 98072
USA
mark your calendar: 6/6/2012
(206) 788-0825 voice
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