Cover Story: Ladke, Dilli Shahr Ke / SK

As the country celebrates fifty years of our independence we should be marking our own milestones. This newsletter- the attempt to find a collective voice- could be one. There have always been men who loved men in this city and have openly said so. We and everyone else, should know that we have always been here and will be here forever.

Instead of fifty, lets go back to Delhi two-hundred-and-fifty-years ago. Delhi (then Shahjahanabad,now purani Dilli ), in the mid-eighteenth century, the years before and after Nadir Shah- the freebooter who carried away the peacock throne on camel back to Iran--was a city supposedly in turmoil. Yet life went on for everybody as it did for the men who loved other men. Contemporary accounts from this period are rich with our history and that this has been ignored by the mainstream history is partly our fault.

Mohammed Shah ‘Rangeele’ was the Mughal ruler from 1718 to 1748. Conventional history tells us he was a womanizer. It seems to have been otherwise. Taqi, a eunuch who managed a huge establishment of beautiful young men was his good friend with access to his private quarters. When the emperor fell on hard times, a historian bemoans, he had to sell even his collection of female clothes that he loved to wear. Muhammed Shah’s tastes were not unusual. In the bustling city extending from the Red Fort, love and companionship between men was being sought and found by many others.

Occasions to meet people were many. Basant and Holi were celebrated for a whole week and men found each other and privacy to celebrate them. Shrines, melas & bazaars were always crowded. It was here that the most of the ‘cruising’ took place. This is where the ‘aristocracy’ and the ‘hoi poloi’ met. In the crowded chowk of Sa’dullah Khan, between Jama Masjid & the Red Fort, beautiful lads were available just as were exotic birds, sermons, books, aphrodisiacs and massages. Abru, an acclaimed poet wrote a masnawi describing how he cruised and picked up a young man.

Men could meet and walk hand in hand on the streets, retreat to the qahwa khanas around the Chandni Chowk for tea and poetry. There was always the possibility of getting to see the performance Miyan Hinga, the beautiful youth always dressed in white, who danced in front of the main gate of the Red Fort. He was in great demand and was very picky. Only the very lucky were allowed to visit him. Sultana the twelve years old catamite, was another celebrity famous not just for his looks but also as a dancer. Allah Bande and Raji were two other catamites who were popular as singers. There were also the bhands, Sabza & Meza, ‘whose kohl filled gaze was longer than a man’s life.’ Jani Hajjam a talented singer profited immensely from a besotted patron.

Others too lived the way they wanted. One, Abdul Ghafur, dyed his hands and feet with henna, decked himself in gold and danced at his own gate. Azam Khan liked them young and was known to be very generous to the numerous he was attracted to. He found administrative jobs for some and many more of them stayed on in his house. Mir Mannu was even more successful. His lifestyle attracted many others who came to him looking for a mentor, a pimp, or to meet all the attractive men he knew. The men you met in his parties were automatically considered ‘safe’. Abru had this to say : If a boy is chaste, he suffers at the hands of the strong / But if he is willing to lie under a lover, he can rule this city

Our history however is not only about the drag queens, eunuchs, hustlers and ‘powerful patrons-chikna beauties’. That these fragments of memory survive is because straight historians could only see same-sex attraction within these parameters. Mir Kallu used to have elaborate parties where he entertained his friends and their beloveds with music, liquor and the privacy of tents. Abru talked to his young pickup about life and advised him to seek the company of a handsome young man of his own age. Same sex love was often portrayed as a higher form of attraction, and even considered divine by some. That Abru and Mir both loved other men was known to all and never detracted them from the acclaim they achieved as poets. Men fell in love with each other and some attachments have become part of our folk lore.

History is the memory of society. It is only when we start deriving reassurance from it will our memories be acknowledged as legitimate history. Only then can we become secure in our pride and self-esteem.

SK

Note : The author is engaged in an attempt to reconstruct the history of same-sex love in India. Any comments, suggestions and leads would be welcome.

First Person First Time: A Rejection, So Sweet / Owais Khan

We went long back. Quite long back. To the times when he was a mere boy, and I… well, I was even then not-very-young. Actually, Sajju’s father and I were good friends. And there were as many years separating him and me; as there were between his father and me.

I was very fond of him. And a physical person that I am, I kept expressing my affection both at appropriate and not so appropriate times. On one particular day, when he was visiting my house, another friend dropped by. Tony...Tony is gay, and is always ready to seduce a sexy young thing. That evening, Sajju offered to drop Tony home on the way. Tony has always refuted that he tried something with Sajju that evening. But Sajju became noticeably cold with me after that day. He stopped coming to my place. When we did meet, he would limit himself to a curt salaam. And, worse, would stiffen whenever I touched him in the slightest.

This went on for a few days. Then one day, when I could bear it no longer; I confronted him. His symptoms, however, were typical of a seduction gone awry; so I asked him to make a clean breast of it.

And clean breast he did make. He said, "Owais, I am not a child any more. And knowing you, seeing you, listening to you, reading your books, seeing you keep friends like Tony, I know most certainly that there is a major difference between us. I am not er.. eh…"

"Gay", I butted in. "Yes", he blurted.

" I have always known that " I reassured him. "Do you feel that my being gay makes any difference between us? "

"No, as long as you do not try anything with me"

"High hopes, man! You certainly are not my type. Why should I try you? Even if you wanted, I would not have sex with you."

"Really?" I have never seen anyone so relieved.

And I guess that was the ultimate rejection: a guy being so happy at your not liking him. But there was something in that rejection which still gives me happiness.Years have passed since that day. We are now continents away. He calls me at midnight on my birthday eve, and sends me e-mails every week. And he is happily married with two children. I wish more people rejected me thus. Really...

Happenings: Four Parties & An Anniversary / Tina NaMani

After a disastrous December, it seems that the year 1997 has been quite benevolent to party-hoppers likes me. As the world clocked in to usher the new year, the city danced out their dreams & depressions at party hosted by our sweet Hindibhashi. The queens were heard groaning & moaning later that the people can not understand the spirit of farmula BYOB, as some decent souls were caught bottle handed wetting their palate in the privacy of the parking...enough of it lets move over further...

Before the hangover of this high pitch bitching could simmer down, there came a night dressed in pajamas, it was a claustrophobic cornucopia of people in fifties & people with nifties. Again the gals got a chance to prove their point- that the spirit of sport is dead, as many people defied the dress code set by the hostess.. alas...

Next came an exclusive ethnic party hosted by the doctor next door... My God !!! never seen a bunch of 6’2" plus under one roof. Where were all these hunks till now ?? One turban beauty from Gurdaspur performed... and dinner followed... followed by a private video projection of some very private projections...followed by... I rather stop it here, as rest of the carnal cacophony stands censored...

The fourth party was hosted by Nick Nolte at Cee Pee, location gave a vintage view of the historical fountains in the core of Cee Pee. Millions have starved to seek solace near these fountains till date.Back to the party, the occasion was the birthday celebrations of the other half of Nick.The gals did a marvelous job both on & off the ramp, the giggles & shrieks in the greenroom made the audience green with envy. Trust me, half the bitches were dying to go up on stage but for their pseudo-decency...all eyes were pinned on Ms Copper...she was flown in straight form Lucknow to grace the ramp... can not remember the official carrier, but sure there was no dearth of offers to be her unofficial hosts...

So, finally there came an opportunity to express their latent desire to undress like real cats...this time we had the anniversary function of the uncaptioned couple, our two sweet friends with their chequered history... lucky two have two more years to go to get the itch. The ambiance of the manicured farm house was quite enticing. Kudos Qaqa for the solo, no one anticipated the Barbie doll to join her up there- but great job as the duo did Malmal ka...Also, here Ms Greece joined Ms Copper on ramp, Ms Aruba was again held back, stage fear-she told me in her husky voice, God knows where this fear disappears when it comes to....QUIET.

Lets see, what comes next in calendar, so many parties in the pipeline, already the gals are going ga-ga over what to wear... and what to tear...

By the way, the Sunday Club timings are extended till nine...

Tina Na-mani

Editorial: Beyond Body Beautiful / Gorky

What's In / What's Out

What Will You Do, If…

~ It is birthday of your beloved. You collect a cake from Mauryas... pick up a flower basket from Khan Market... add to it a shirt from Pierre Cardin... a Satya Paul tie... and his favorite perfume... now it is time to surprise the other half... reaching there... you are surprised in turn... the other half is seen half nude with his lips less than half an inch away from SOMEONE... infact the noses were touching... O My God!!!

~ A hairy... broad shouldered... 6’2" tall Jat Javan with the biggest bulging assets... O My God !!! You have just twenty minutes before his train departs for Guwahati... just onetime opportunity for you darling ! but you are caught as you don’t have any condoms and the nearest chemist is located at a distance of nineteen minutes...

~ Finally you discover a new face in CP of CP. You take him out for icecreams at Nirulas. You settle for Manhattan Mania and the alien opts for the Butter mein scotch flavour. Only after finishing the cones you two realize that the icecreams got interchanged. The alien has an idea, to taste it out through the tongues. So you move to the dark corner of the corridor... and while you are lost in the tasting session... your SALA ( brother of your so-called wife ) locates you right there... O MY God !!!

~ Mummy asks you to explain your love-bites !!!

You are welcome to get back to us with your interesting, practical or funny responses marked as

the chosen ones will be featured in the next issue of Darpan. Please mail it to :

Update…

* Friends of Siddartha Gautam organised a day of films & discussion at Max Mueller Bhawan on 19th January,1997. The films included Zindagi Umeed ke Sayee mein by Ramesh Venkatraman ( brilliant scriptwriting ), Oscar winner Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt by Epstein & Freidman, Watermelon Woman by Cheryl Dunye, Double the Trouble, Twice the Fun by Pratibha Kumar, Rock Hudson’s Home Movies by Rappaport & Gay Bombay by Nathalie Khanna. Also there were panel discussions on AIDS & sexuality. It was here that during the open house discussion the idea of generating a newsletter, a volunteer group, helpline came up & received an overwhelming response.

* First meeting of the volunteer group took place on 1st February,1997. It was decided by the attendees to form three subcommittees each responsible for newsletter, helpline & social space. A participant suggested the need to have a parental support group to counsel the parents of the those community members, who are facing the issues of coming out. Another volunteer expressed the need for a drop-in centre cum library.

* On 15th February,1997- these subcommittees updated the progress in their respective fields. It was decided to meet on every first & third Saturday of the month.

* On 1st March,1997 the volunteer group decided to give a name to their forum, after considering the suggestions, it was unanimously decided to call the group as HUMRAHI & the newsletter as DARPAN.

* On 8th March JAL’97 was hosted by our friends in Jallandhur with participants from UP, Delhi, Punjab, Haryana, Chandigarh & Himachal Pradesh. Next issue of Darpan will carry a detailed report of JAL’97.

* HUMRAHI meets every first, third & fifth Saturday of the month at NAZ Foundation office located at C-1/E ( Second Floor ), Green Park Extension. The place is just opposite the Indian Oil Building in Aurobindo Marg ( Take the gali next to Raymonds showroom & turn to the second left gali ). The timings of the meeting are 6.30 PM to 7.30 PM.

* NAZ offers their tele support at 6851970 & 6851971 between 10 AM to 5 .30 PM on working days.

* HUMRAHI organised their first payparty on the occasion of HOLI at Vasant Kunj. The proceeds will go for awareness, education and counseling programs.

* NAZ organised a picnic for the street children at Lodhi Gardens on 29th March,1997.

* It is summer time at Nehrus, as the park time is extended by one hour. From 1st April,1997, it will be open for public till 9 PM.

* HUMRAHI is going to conduct training session for those people who want to volunteer for the HELPLINE - tele-counselling. Interested parties can contact NAZ office at 6851970/1.

* The NAZ Foundation India Trust is planning to host a two day programme of workshops on "emerging gay identities "tentatively in the month of June. Ideas are welcome to design the contents of the seminar.

Darpan Profile: Naz, the Foundation…

The male sexual health programme of Naz, the MSM outreach continues to provide medical services, group and individual counseling on sexual health and issues related to HIV & AIDS and hold park based discussions. Naz has been able to map some of the major cruising sites in Delhi. In the last quarter of 1996 they had reached out to about 225 men, of whom 33 were new clients. They distributed 120 packets of Nirodh and sold 36 packets of Masti. There appears to be a need to make water based lubricants available to MSM clients, as one of the major hurdles to condom use is inadequate lubrication of condoms.

***

With the support of the Lion’s Club of Delhi and the Tihar Jail Superintendent Dr Ajay Kumar Singhla, Naz provided education on sexual health, HIV/AIDS & STD to 1200 boys in the juvenile section of the Tihar Jail.

***

Outreach services were also provided to approximately 120 street children. Naz introduced separate sessions for each route of HIV/STD transmission and also on the myths around the sexuality and different sexual behaviors. Extra importance was given to educate older boys, as they can be a major influence on the younger ones. Apart from health promotion activities, Naz conducted an ongoing needs assessment programme. What emerged from discussions with these children is that the size of the condoms available is not appropriate, as they are too big.

***

Support was extended to two young lesbians who had left home due to parental pressure to get married. On arriving in Delhi in November, Naz began meeting them regularly to support them in finding jobs and accommodation. They were able to find work at a nearby women’s centre. This has been quite a learning experience and further emphasises the need for a referral system as well as a drop-in centre for women.

***

Anjali Gopalan made presentation to the Board of the ICSE on the importance of incorporating sex education in the school curriculum. She also made a presentation at the National Workshop on promoting HIV/AIDS Education in schools.

Someone Somewhere…

* Hi lesbians, I am Anjoo Bhutia, looking for lesbian friends from all over the world, My hobbies - photography, poetry, light music & driving. Please write to Anjoo Bhutia, PO Box # 142, GPO, ND1.

* A well educated , smart & young manager looks forward for an intelligent & smart company in the age group of 22 to 45 years. If interested-then please write to Darpan SS #1.A,PO Box : 3910, Andrews Ganj, New Delhi-49 INDIA.

* Hello there ! I am Rishabh Kapoor, who has no destination, no corporation, no company, no money, no business, no bankers, no fax, no telex. If you are still interested... then get in touch with 23 year old Rishabh at Darpan SS # 1.B, PO Box : 3910, Andrews Ganj, New Delhi-49 INDIA.

* Handsome, alone, 24 year old seeks an adventurous heart of gold. He should like old fashioned romance, Times FM and a little silliness. Commitment required & cent percent joy guaranteed. Write to Darpan SS # 1.C , PO Box : 3910, Andrews Ganj, New Delhi-49 INDIA.

* A young at heart businessman ( really rich ) looks forward for a stable relationship with a well educated, decent & smart young person. If interested- then please write to Darpan SS #1.D,PO Box : 3910, Andrews Ganj, New Delhi-49 INDIA.

* Thank you Mama, Mamu & Mausis for being there with me at all times. Wonder if I could ever express my gratitude to you in some way. LOVE you all - Moti Beti.