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Black Like Me

A Rebuttal/Reply to Janis Ian's Advocate column, "Black like you", March 18, 1997

by John Bernard Jones

I was riding on the No. 212 bus, reading this big ole gay & lesbian newsmagazine with San Fran mayor Willie Brown on the cover and I got to Janis Ian's column on page 63. It was called "Black Like You." My eyebrows raised and I thought, Well, it certainly can't be about her. And so it wasn't. It was about a "conversation" between Ms. Ian's sig-nif, Mr. Lesbian, and some uncredited black woman known only as something like "the well-known songwriting closeted lesbian negress" (aka WKSCLN) or some such. In it, Mr. Lesbian berates WKSCLN about how the latter publicly talks about the trials and tribulations of being black in a racist music industry in particular and society in general, but how WKSCLN remains in the closet about her sexuality in the homophobic music industry in particular and society in general. Despite WKSCLN's "reasons" for remaining closeted, most notably her fear of losing her connectivity to the black community of which she not only is a part but which she claims as her own, Mr. Lesbian proceeds to self-righteously invalidate WKSCLN's concerns all the while Madame Ian apparently wrings her hands in dismay. In short, it took all of about an 800 word column to call WKSCLN nothing less than a hypocrite.

There I was sitting on the bus, literally shaking with dismay. I read the article again to be sure I hadn't misinterpreted the bullshit. Yep. Right there in glorious black 'n' white was the same old hoary Black versus Gay argument, neatly dressed up as a parable. Once again, Black gays and lesbian people (you know, the ones like "us") were outright being told that our concerns about being black in a racist society are invalid, that we have an "obligation" to come "out", and that if we don't march down the street with our fists raised high in homo-solidarity with our gay "brothers and sisters," then we are cowards. Cowards! Midway through the column, Mr. Lesbian asks, "...why don't black gays come out?" Perhaps I have one answer among many.

A great many Black gays don't come out, precisely because of the attitude that Mr. Lesbian and other gays have toward us. The demand that Black gays and lesbians realign our concerns, priorities, lifestyles, and lives to fit into the misty-eyed conformity of an ill-defined gay "community" is arrogant condescension at best and racist moral grandstanding at its worst. It is arrogant because it assumes we do not know for ourselves what is or is not good for us on the individual level as issues affect us from day to day.

The demand is racist because it uses a specious argument to assert the superiority of one identity over another. In this case, the argument is to come out. But the question remains, to come out where? Will the gay and lesbian community automatically embrace our songwriter and elevate her to k.d. lang goddesshood on Mr. Lesbian's say-so alone? And the implication that "coming out" will negate the racial indignities and oppressions most people of color must deal with day in and day out is the height of racist absurdity. While I'm at it, let me admit that I assume Mr. Lesbian is not black; how disingenuous of Ms. Ian to not let us know whether or not Mr. Lesbian spoke from a position where she, too, has to deal with the triangularity of identity 'black, gay, & female' as our songwriter must. Mr. Lesbian, will not personally make up lost income that our closeted songwriter may lose if she does come out in her industry. Mr. Lesbian cannot replace a mother that could disown her or pay the mortgage on the condo she could lose.

One more thing: I find it curious that a white lesbian making an argument to blacks about owning up to one's "true" identity would refer to her female lover as "Mr." Smacks of a certain kind of hypocrisy in its own right.

I am not making arguments in favor of staying in the closet. What I making an argument for is reason and choice. Reason dictates that everyone is not in the same space, place or circumstance that we may be. Choice as a vital component of a diverse community must be respected even if we do not respect the choice itself. In our songwriters case, the choice is hers as to her status in or out of the closet.

As a Black gay man who has never seen the interior of a closet, I am out all the time. I am secure enough in all of my identities that I am myself everywhere I go. But my sexuality is not my primary concern. Nor is my race. Nor is my gender. Sometimes I'm just a writer and other times I'm just a science fiction fan. Each has their turn as circumstances, mood, and priority dictate, sometimes in combination. I don't wear rainbow rings. I don't watch a tv show simply because a gay character is featured or might come out. Sometimes I read gay magazines on crowded buses traveling into the heart of the black community and discreetly cruise a fine brother sitting two seats to the left of me. But I don't ask anyone to read the magazine or for the brother to respond to my attentions. Does this make me a coward, too?

John Bernard Jones Copyright 1997


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