GENRE
	Fighting
	DEVELOPER
	Takara
	PUBLISHER
	BAM Entertainment
	NUMBER OF PLAYERS
	1-2
	CONTROLLER PAK
	no
	RUMBLE PAK
	yes
	RAM PAK
	no
	BUY NOW AT

Back in the 80’s, the Transformers were one of many commercially institutionalized cartoons supported by a full line of parents’ cash-grabbing toys and merchandise. Others of the era that us old-timers may recall include Voltron, M.A.S.K., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Go-Bots, He-Man, and our very own Super Mario Bros. What made the Transformers stand out from the other marketing executive brainchildren was the robots’ innate ability to – surprise – transform from android form into vehicular form. Every weekday morning, the good Autobots led by Optimus Prime would battle against the evil Megatron and his Decepticons on the planet Cybertron. Remember now, this was the 80’s and all this talk of robots was “cool.” Then in the 90’s, the franchise was resurrected in a not-as-successful computer-generated show called Transformers: Beast Wars featuring the evolved Maximals and Predacons respectively, with the new ability to transform into beast form.

Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals is part of the quick, merchandising cash-grab by BAM Entertainment.

The game begins with a parade of publishers, sub-licenses, and developers typical of licensed titles and goes to a largely inanimate title screen filled with fine print. The menu screens are a drab, minimalist, dark gray grid serving to usher players into the game. One of only 8 Transformers is selected and the first fight gets underway with exceedingly unimpressive opening fanfare. An empty, black screen with white text announcing tame titles for each battle location is displayed followed by a simple, gray screen with each robot and their few statistics. Entering the battle arena, the first thing one notices are the empty, never-ending arenas that look more like the plains of Nebraska than a fun environment in which to pit giant fighting robots against each other in battle. Each of the 7 locations consists of nothing more than a rotating ground surface and two unimpressive, looping textures on the horizon to connote the rotation. The Transformers themselves are simple, low-poly figures that may serve their purpose, but look exceedingly amateur in fashion. Explosion attack effects are usually nothing more than pixilated textures enlarged to blocky extremes. Needless to say, the graphics of Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals leaves much to be desired.

The pinnacle of the audio in this title is in the 8 Transformers’ sound bytes, which isn’t saying much. Through a small set of sounds for each robot for their victory of defeat, one will quickly grow sick of the cliché, exaggerated phrases spouted forth probably by the same voice actors from the cartoon series. Sound effects in battle are largely unimpressive and the music is completely forgettable.

In attempting to fully utilize the very underlying concept of transformation inherent in the Transformers license, the developers of Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals felt it necessary and appropriate to assign this ability to the A and B buttons to toggle between robot, vehicle, and beast modes. A time meter at the top of the screen indicates how much time remains on robot mode until the machine starts emitting unexplainable amounts of electromagnetic interference rendering it useless. Players are then forced against their will to transform into the largely useless vehicle mode in which players can only glide around circling their opponent as one can never get more than a single screen’s distance away. This leaves the metallic warrior open to homing missiles that can never miss a Transformer in vehicle mode, a rather cheap shot. Completing the transformation chain is beast mode, in which the weakened Transformers attempt to use their primitive, weakened abilities to inflict some damage while recharging the time meter for robot mode. Sufficiently handicapped and recharged, the machines can finally return to robot mode via vehicle mode and finish the opponent off.

Attacks consist of charging beam shots on both C left and right, homing missiles on C up, and an explosion of stunning energy on R. Jumping is accomplished with Z and blocking is done with C down. It’s a perplexing controller setup to be sure, taking awhile to adjust to and never being anything beyond clunky.

Upon completing the 7 battles – inexplicably against both friends and foes – players are treated to a slow, uninteresting series of their opponents’ images covered with red X marks and an epilogue understood only by diehard fans of the series. The list of credits is incredibly short; I can’t imagine why.

Looking to the menu screen for a list of “bonuses,” one can look at the character models and their animations or mash buttons in a series of mini-games like a shoot-out or collecting coins in the arenas, though none of them are very interesting or fun for that matter. It’s better than bashing one’s forehead against a brick wall, I suppose.

A second player can control another Transformer in two-player mode, but more confusion in controlling the fighter results than engaging competition. A second player can also participate in the mini-games, and again, it’s better than a brick wall.

Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals is a horrible, horrible mess of a fighting game whose retail purchase I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. Thankfully, nobody will have to endure the suffering a purchase would bring as it’s been released exclusively to rental at Blockbuster. Maybe there is some justice in the world short of cancellation.

1.5/10