The time James Mattis drank pee

in the crit at redlands this year we were held on the line for a few minutes while they did the women's podium... it was pretty hot and the sun was out and we were all packed in tight on the starting line... J. Bausch had to pee... rather than whip out his brown weiner and pee on the pavement and have it run down the street as is normal, he peed in a water bottle... Zellner was waiting on the line to take the bottle from him, but Pete Lopinto had to pee too and so he took the bottle and filled it all the way up... he still had to go so he just let it fly in the road- jack ass... this is all while we are packed in like sardines, i am sure that everybody knew that Pete was pissing in a bottle... so, Pete finishes up and caps the bottle... before he gives it over to Zellner, he turns around, holds the bottle up and goes "anybody need a drink?"... James Mattis goes "yeah!"... Bausch and Pete are thinking this is a joke, but they were blown away when Mattis TOOK A SIP FROM THE BOTTLE!... As some pee dribbles down James' chin... Pete goes "dude, you know that was my piss"... James goes "uh... i didnt drink any, i didnt drink any"... right...

so after the race we are talking about it... and i go "check the results, maybe it gave him turbo"... so we check the results:

#108 JAMES MATTIS WEBCOR @ 1:33

was there a connection?... i think so... that is why there is an unwritten rule that you never take a bottle from another team or weird people standing on the side of the road... let this be a lesson... if you drink a mixture of JB and P-Lo's piss it wont give you turbo, you will lose a minute and thirty-three seconds...

The time i had to save Jon Hamblen's life

The time Jonathan Erdelyi tried to beat me up

The time we flattened John Leiswyn