Alter Ergo
by
Click for details and warnings
There is a sequel to Alter Ergo, Undercurrents.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions - etc. etc. Please don't sue me, I'm not making any money from this, and I promise to put Jack and Daniel back (more or less) as I found them when I've done with them.
Major Samantha Carter sat up slowly and pulled a piece of straw out of her hair. Despite the early morning sunlight streaming through the slats in the walls it took her a moment to work out where she was; but as she looked around the barn her first thought was that the setting looked like a commercial for something. The sunlight truly was golden, licking across those open bales like spilled honey. A huge teddy bear beamed at her from a sack of corn, while a white rabbit, a stuffed leopard, and an extravagantly long–limbed monkey had been placed at other strategic points in the barn. Other soft toys sprawled in the straw, plump plush limbs wantonly outstretched. They looked as if they were sleeping off an orgy.
She turned her head and looked at her companion, blinking in surprise as she realized Teal'c was actually asleep. She'd become so used to him meditating for most of the night, she'd forgotten he did actually sleep sometimes. When he was very tired.
Realizing she had evidently succeeded in wearing him out where countless grueling adventures had failed, Sam couldn't help a little pride breaking out in a pleased smile. She got to her feet and became aware of how hungry she was. It was lucky she'd insisted they buy all that candy and diet soda, not to mention those two family–sized pizzas they hadn't quite managed to finish. She wondered why she usually avoided that kind of food when it tasted so good. As she glanced at her watch she saw it was 7am. Monday the 11th too. They had a mission briefing at 7am on Monday the 11th, which she was currently missing. She looked across at the still–sleeping Teal'c. Which they were both missing.
She couldn't stop another grin breaking out. Daniel and the Colonel would be sitting there wondering where they were. Daniel would be on his third cup of coffee but his eyes would probably still be half closed. He was never going to be a morning person. The Colonel would be mad as hell. She was kind of sorry to miss that. The Colonel looked so cute when he was angry. He'd probably be yelling and Daniel would be flinching and asking him to keep it down. General Hammond would be perplexed and anxious.
Sam felt her elation fade a little. She didn't like upsetting General Hammond. Upsetting Colonel O'Neill was kind of…fun, but General Hammond was a different matter. She did wonder if perhaps she ought to phone in. She could tell Janet she and Teal'c were both sick. Except Teal'c didn't get sick of course. And what if General Hammond was in the infirmary when she phoned and told her to come back? She couldn't really disobey a direct order however much she might want to. But she and Teal'c were having such a good time on this little road trip the last thing she wanted to do was go back to Cheyenne Mountain and have to go on a mission. Missions were…boring. Cheyenne Mountain was pretty boring too. All those grey walls. At the moment all she really wanted to do was make good on her promise to Teal'c to take him out and show him lots of fun.
Those little county fairs were wonderful. They'd tried out three different big dippers and she was now officially banned from the rifle range stalls of each fair they'd visited. She'd seen a flyer for another fair in Little Rock on their way here. She'd never been to Little Rock despite the Airbase being there. The way she felt at the moment that seemed like a good enough reason for going to Arkansas.
As she reached for the leftover pizza and diet soda, Teal'c stirred and rolled over. His smile was gentle and affectionate. "Major Carter."
She smiled back. "Teal'c."
He reached across and pulled another piece of straw from her hair. "Should we not be preparing to depart for P3X–719?"
Sam wrinkled her nose. "Doesn't that sound really boring to you?"
Teal'c sat up. "It does not appeal to me greatly, Major Carter."
She grinned in relief and handed over the flyer. "Look. Another carnival. They've got a big dipper too."
"Will not O'Neill and Daniel Jackson be worried about our whereabouts?"
Sam shrugged and handed Teal'c a piece of cold pizza. "That's their problem. If you ask me it's high time those two got a life." As she chewed on the stringy strands of cheese she vaguely remembered a time when she didn't like to be even a few minutes late for a mission briefing, and when the thought of disobeying orders or going absent without leave filled her with horror. She felt a flash of impatience with that Samantha Carter. She'd spent far too much time worrying about being a good girl, not to mention being the best possible Air Force Officer anyone could be. What on earth had that woman been trying to prove? She was just glad she'd come to her senses in time.
"Major Carter…?"
Teal'c's voice was husky and the tone of it sent a little thrill down her spine. She turned her head and looked at him sideways. "Teal'c…?"
There was no doubt about it: that was one damned handsome man. She could lose herself in those eyes. She stroked a finger down his cheekbone. As his arms went around her neck and they kissed again, mentally Sam was humming 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun'.
***
Jack O'Neill woke up and stretched luxuriously, his own reflection stretching above his head with perfect symmetry. He was still pleasantly drunk and the bed was so damned comfortable. If it weren't for his bladder being so insistent he would have liked to roll over and go on wallowing in the warmth of this king–sized luxury. That was a point. He didn't have a king–sized bed. Or mirrors on the ceiling. Or black satin sheets. Putting his hands behind his head, he looked up at his own reflection. Although he said it himself, he was looking pretty good for a guy of forty–four. In fact he had that rumpled but satisfied air of a man who'd just had a whole load of very pleasurable sex.
Something warm stirred next to him and he turned his head in mild surprise. He lifted the duvet and peered underneath it. Daniel murmured a sleepy protest as the sunlight strayed across his closed eyelids and then burrowed back into the mattress, clearly wanting nothing to do with waking up yet. Jack blinked. So he and Daniel were doing it now, were they? Well probably not before time. He shrugged and got out from underneath the duvet, being careful to pull it back over Daniel before heading off to the bathroom. As he pissed in the gilt–colored toilet bowl, he couldn't help thinking that him and Daniel doing it seemed like a damned good idea. And not just in a general way. Him and Daniel doing it round about now seemed like an even better idea. You only lived once after all.
He cleaned his teeth, noticing as he did so that this wasn't his bathroom. Or Daniel's. Neither of them had a sunken Jacuzzi. Which was a shame because he was starting to think sunken Jacuzzis were pretty cool. And last night was coming back to him now in all its splendors. Sharing all those bubbles with a naked Daniel Jackson had been even cooler which was probably why it still had so much appeal this morning. There were a lot of bottles rolling gently around the tiles, mostly beer, but a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels probably accounted for that pleasant whiskey glow he was getting. Whiskey always turned him on like oysters. And it got Daniel drunk faster than a SGC team could travel through a wormhole.
Not that he remembered Daniel putting up a lot of resistance to the idea of them getting drunk and silly and taking a hot tub together even before he started drinking. As far as he could recall through the whiskey blurring his mind, Daniel had been almost as keen on the idea as he was once he'd managed to persuade him to stop working on that damned report, stop arguing, get in the jeep, and let Jack take him out and show him a good time. But Daniel did have way too many inhibitions sometimes so it was probably just as well he'd got him truly plastered before actually starting to remove his clothes.
Jack frowned at the gold faucets on the bath in the shape of leaping dolphins. This was definitely not his usual taste. In fact this place seemed to have been decorated by someone who had no taste; very Early Bordello and very unMartha Stewart. Memory kicked in. Of course, this was Quentin's house. His ex–cousin–in–law, and the only person of his acquaintance who would have mirrors on the ceiling of his bedroom, not to mention gold faucets on his bath in the shape of leaping dolphins. The guy had always been an asshole, and he'd cheated on Jack's cousin at every opportunity until she'd divorced him.
Ah yes, he remembered telling Daniel that now. Right in the middle of explaining why it was okay for them to pick the lock, disable the security alarms, and camp out here for a few days while Quentin was in Las Vegas. Daniel had been having a few niggling little doubts as he recalled. The words Breaking and Entering had come up. Daniel had been fussing over Jack's military career. Daniel was always worrying about stuff. That boy really needed to learn how to relax and have a good time. Jack picked up the whiskey bottle. No time like the present for continuing the re–education of Doctor Daniel Jackson.
As he walked back to the bed, Jack noticed the only thing he was wearing was his watch. It was telling him it was 8am of Monday the 11th, which meant he was now an hour late for the mission briefing on P3X–719. Well good. Carter and Teal'c could do with lightening up as well. What the hell was a girl who looked like that doing spending every waking minute working out the decay rate of naquada anyway? No question Carter was definitely one smoking hot woman but you'd never know it from the way she was always doing all that dull astrophysical stuff. And Teal'c had all those amazing recuperative powers and never did squat with them except recover from being mortally wounded. As hobbies went that one definitely sucked. He hoped Hammond told those two to take the day off and go and have fun. They needed to get out of the SGC for a while anyway, that was damned obvious. That place was so boring.
"Hey, Daniel?" Jack slipped under the duvet and kissed the back of Daniel's neck.
Daniel mumbled something incomprehensible, clearly unwilling to emerge from the depths of sleep. Jack sighed impatiently, leant across, and stuck his tongue in Daniel's ear.
"There we go," he murmured in satisfaction, moving back as Daniel jolted into wakefulness flailing at his ear as he did so.
"Whayouwan'?" Daniel looked at him as though he'd never seen him before. "Jack?"
Jack gave him his best shit–eating grin. "Daniel." He put a hand behind Daniel's head and pulled him in for a breath–taking kiss.
As they separated for oxygen, Daniel protested faintly, "Hangover."
Jack held up the whiskey bottle. "Cure."
Daniel blinked at the amber liquid. "I can’t stay drunk forever."
"Course you can." Jack reached for a glass from the bedside table and poured out a generous measure. "Drunk, naked, and in bed with me. I'd call that a plan."
Daniel took the whiskey, sniffed it, wrinkled his nose then poured it down. He caught sight of the clock as he put down the glass on the bedside table. "Aren't we supposed to be having a mission briefing?"
"Canceled due to lack of interest." Jack took a swig from the whiskey bottle before reaching over Daniel to put it on the floor. That left him lying more or less on top of his teammate. He decided to make that more rather than less and stole another whiskey–flavored kiss. God, but Daniel was looking cute as a bug and then some. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that before. What the hell had he been thinking? He drank in the scent of him, coffee, soap, faint trace of aftershave, strong smell of whiskey, even stronger smell of Jack O'Neill. Wow, he'd scent–marked Daniel; that was good; that would save him actually having to go and piss outside Daniel's front door to warn off any rivals.
Daniel put a hand up to his head. "Aren't we acting a little…out of character?"
Jack shrugged. "Who cares?"
"You don't think it's odd that you and I decided to get drunk and have sex last night?"
Jack shrugged again. "It was fun, wasn't it?"
"Yes, but…"
Jack stroked his fingers through Daniel's hair, moving his mouth to within a millimeter of the younger man's. "Lots of fun…?"
"Yes, but…"
Jack smiled, watching Daniel's resistance melt as he felt Jack's breath against his mouth. He whispered invitingly, "Want to have more fun?"
Daniel gazed up at him and then sighed, admitting defeat. "Fun sounds good."
As the alarm clock made a shrill but vain attempt to interrupt them, Jack reached across and knocked it onto the floor. No way in hell was he giving up having sex with Daniel to go on some damned mission. In fact, the way he felt right now he was never going back to the SGC again.
***
General Hammond looked around at his formerly flagship SG team with what he sincerely hoped was an expression of understanding. He wasn't actually feeling very understanding but it was obvious that asking them what the hell they thought they'd been playing at since Sunday evening was not going to produce a very satisfactory response. He still had no idea what had got into them, and they weren't being particularly forthcoming with their explanations. He felt rather like he had halfway through that business with the Tok'ra armbands. Watching a team of intelligent professionals starting to act like naughty children had been a disconcerting experience. Now they were acting like naughty, sulky children who'd had their toys taken away from them. O'Neill was sullenly picking the crust off the sandwich he'd asked for. Major Carter was doodling higher mathematical equations on a piece of paper with a stubborn set to her shoulders Hammond recognized only too well from arguments with his own daughters. Teal'c was sitting with his arms crossed and his nose in the air. Doctor Jackson was slumped against the wall hugging himself and looking slightly green.
As he appeared the least rebellious and most likely to be suffering from remorse as well as what was clearly a doozie of a hangover, Hammond turned his attention to the youngest member of SG–1. "Doctor Jackson, would you like to sit down?"
O'Neill looked up at that and his and Jackson's eyes met for a moment. There was a definite glimmer of reproach in the younger man's eyes as he answered Hammond while still gazing at O'Neill. "No, thank you, sir. I'd really rather stand."
O'Neill grimaced apologetically and peeled another crust off his sandwich.
Hammond looked between them in exasperation. "Would one of you people like to tell me what got into you over the last three days? You all went AWOL on Sunday night. You didn't turn up for the mission briefing on Monday morning. You weren't in your homes. I've had an APB out on you since Monday lunchtime. Half the police force of Colorado has been tied up with searching for you. What on earth happened?"
O'Neill looked up from his sandwich and exchanged a glance with his teammates, then he said defensively, "We just wanted to have some fun, sir."
"We haven't had any leave in a long time," Carter added.
"Sometimes Cheyenne Mountain just seems really…" Daniel looked around at the others.
Everyone came in on that "…boring!"
Hammond looked between them anxiously. He was getting déjà vu and he wasn't enjoying the experience. "I think Doctor Fraiser really needs to have a look at you."
"No!"
"No, sir!"
"That will not be necessary, General Hammond. I am in fact in perfect health."
"Really don't think that would be a good idea, General."
Hammond glanced back down at the report he'd been handed by the airmen who had found his strayed sheep. He'd read it four times already and he still couldn't believe it. Major Carter and Teal'c had been apprehended in a haybarn in Arkansas. The owner of the rifle range stall had reported them to the airmen who had been following a trail of reports of a tall blonde who was such a dead–eyed shot she was causing a serious soft toy shortage amongst the carnivals of the Southern States. The stall owner had made a note of the license plate of her car, thinking she might be an escaped convict, and aerial spotters had found the car parked outside a farm near Lonoke. The airmen from Little Rock base had found Major Carter and Teal'c under a blanket in the hay with Major Carter wearing only her Air Force issue socks. Teal'c had been wearing even less than that.
Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson had been traced after the police had been called to a house in Woodland Park by a neighbor who thought there had been a burglary. It was bad enough that one of his senior officers was guilty of illegally entering someone else's home but the fact he had been in the process of being what the report referred to obliquely as 'intimate' with Doctor Jackson in a Jacuzzi at the time he was apprehended hadn't helped matters either.
Hammond took a deep breath. "At the moment I am working on the assumption you have all taken temporary leave of your senses. Do any of you have a better theory to offer me?"
The four of them looked between each other and for the first time he did see a little guilt and apology mixed in with the resentment. Major Carter put a hand up to her head. "Sir, I don't really know what happened. I just had this overwhelming urge to have some…fun."
"Me too." O'Neill put in.
"And I found myself thinking how Teal'c never gets to have any fun either. And how there were all these really interesting things to do on this world that I hadn't shown him until now. Like carnivals."
"Carnivals?" Hammond looked at her anxiously. If Teal'c was usually the surrogate eldest son he could always rely on and O'Neill the problematic middle son who needed careful handling if he wasn't going to end up in prison, Major Carter was the good daughter who never caused him any trouble. He had come to rely on her intelligence and good sense whenever there was a crisis; he certainly never expected her to be part of the problem. But it was only a few months since she had disobeyed a direct order and gone off eating steaks, not to mention acting like a pool shark, when she was supposed to be restricted to base, before disobeying another direct order and running off to help O'Neill and Doctor Jackson blow up Apophis' ship. And now this. She had been acting under the influence of alien technology on that occasion and he didn't believe she could be acting under anything other than the influence of alien technology this time. The question was how and when had she and the others been influenced?
He turned his gaze to O'Neill, saying sternly, "If this involved only you and Doctor Jackson I would put the blame squarely on your shoulders, Colonel. I'm quite sure you were the instigator of your little…escapade."
O'Neill shrugged petulantly. "Well a guy can grow old waiting for Daniel to think of a way to have fun. I have to come up with all the good ideas."
Hammond ignored him to continue, "But as Teal'c and Major Carter were also seized with the same…impulses, I am assuming you were all under the influence of some external force. One which I presume is still controlling your actions to a certain extent."
Carter looked up. "Sir, I've been thinking about that, and I do agree that our actions were a little…out of character, but I think now we're aware of the problem we can probably work around it."
Teal'c inclined his head. "I concur. The – impulses took us unawares but we are now forewarned against their influence."
Carter nodded. "And I don't think we really need to be restricted to base or anything and I think we could still go on missions as long as we…"
She broke off as she saw the look on Colonel O'Neill's face. Hammond was also looking at him. O'Neill was gazing at Daniel, clearly oblivious of any of the rest of them. As Hammond watched, O'Neill tugged at the top of his t–shirt as though the room had just got hotter then licked his lips.
"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond said quietly. "What are you thinking right now?"
"How incredible Daniel looks when he's naked." O'Neill answered automatically and then looked up at them all. "Sorry. I – um – what were you saying again?"
Hammond looked across at Carter who sighed. "Okay, sir. Perhaps we're not quite ready to go on missions yet."
Hammond rose to his feet. "Infirmary, people. On the double."
***
Jack sighed heavily as they were escorted into the Quarantine Room. They'd been confined to base way too often in the last year or so. Cheyenne Mountain was boring, damnit, and there was nothing to do in the Quarantine Rooms either. It gave him flashbacks to being four years old and getting stuck in a moldy kindergarten which only had a broken train set for him to play with. Of course if they'd just done the decent thing and left him and Daniel in one room and Teal'c and Carter in another, they could have made their own entertainment. Or they could have left him and Carter in one room and they could have made their own entertainment, which would have suited him too. Except, no, that would have left Daniel and Teal'c alone together and no way in hell was he agreeing to that; he'd been thinking for a while now there was way too much heat between those two anyway. So, no, Daniel clearly needed to be with him, and Carter and Teal'c needed to be somewhere else where they couldn't see what he and Daniel were doing.
Except they weren't, they were here along with them, being in the damned way. He scowled at the airman holding the door open for them so politely. "We need food. Lots of food."
"And I'd like my laptop," Carter added.
"And coffee. And some books." Daniel ran a hand through his hair, looking around the room without enthusiasm. "Several books." He glanced across at Jack. "Some with pictures."
As the airman looked at Teal'c the Jaffa raised an eyebrow at him, saying loftily, "I have no need of anything."
As the door closed, Jack slumped into a chair. He looked across at Daniel in exasperation. "Damnit, Daniel, you can't stand up forever."
Daniel gave him a frosty glare in return. "I can try."
"I said I was sorry."
"Yes, I know you did. In the infirmary. Where everyone could hear you, including all the nursing staff and anyone who happened to be passing at the time. That made me feel so much better."
Carter cleared her throat. "I think we need to – address what happened over the last three days."
Daniel put a hand up to his aching head. "Oh please, can't we just forget it ever happened?"
Jack gave him a wounded look. "Because it was so horrible?"
"Because it wasn't us. We all acted like hormonally driven idiots for eighty–four hours. Now we're back to normal again. Let's just forget about it and move on."
Carter said quietly, "Well I don't know about you, Daniel, but I'm not back to normal again. I still think Cheyenne Mountain is boring and all I really want to do right now is get back in my car, drive off, and have some fun, preferably with Teal'c."
The Jaffa gave her a sideways look and inclined his head, a small smile playing at his lips. "Thank you, Major Carter."
She smiled back despite herself. "You're welcome." She looked at Daniel enquiringly. "But you're okay again?"
Daniel shuffled his feet. "No, all right, I admit I'm still…"
"In love with me?" Jack prompted.
"I never said I was in love with you."
"So you'd have sex with someone fifteen times when you weren't in love with him?"
Daniel gave him a look of exasperation. "Do you have to tell everyone everything?"
"Hey, I'm forty–four, I'm pretty impressed with myself."
Carter and Teal'c exchanged a knowing glance and Jack gathered by the look of smug superiority on their faces that he and Daniel were trailing behind on points at the moment. There were days he was nothing other than glad he'd decked Teal'c when he'd been wearing that Ataneik armband. And, damnit, why hadn't he thought of taking that hot tub with Daniel when they'd both been wearing those armbands? Teal'c wouldn't have seen their score for dust.
"Sir?"
He realized Carter had been saying something and tried to concentrate. "What?"
"We need to work out why we suddenly started acting like this. The fact it came over all of us at the same time and in more or less the same way suggests that it was something that was left in our subconscious minds, perhaps triggered by a word or action."
"Anise!" Jack sat up straighter. "I just bet it was the goddamned Tok'ra doing another of their spoon–bending acts."
"I'm not sure a woman who has so much trouble comprehending the word 'No' would have the subtlety to come up with a plan like this," Daniel put in.
Jack looked at him in surprise. That was almost bitchy. Correction, that was downright bitchy. Daniel was jealous? "You're pissed because she put the moves on me?"
"Oh grow up," Daniel told him but Jack was sure he was right and he couldn't help a grin spreading out. He liked the idea of Daniel being jealous because Anise had kissed the…object of Daniel's affections. Yes, he liked that idea a lot.
"And what would it gain her?" Carter ran a hand through her hair. She frowned in concentration. "You know – it could be more like a computer virus. They can be date activated."
"But we are not computers, Major Carter."
"Well, we sort of are, Teal'c. The human brain is really only an organic computer. Remember when Colonel O'Neill got the language of the Ancients downloaded into his brain? His hardware – for want of a better word – started to malfunction because it didn't have the capacity to deal with the data it was suddenly having to work with. And when Urgo was –" She broke off to stare at Daniel who got there at the same moment she did.
"Urgo." He said it softly.
"That would certainly explain the 'fun' part of the programming."
"He was always telling us how boring the SGC was."
"And he did like us a lot. Perhaps he thought this was a way of helping us. But why would he have programmed it – whatever 'it' is – to wait a year before activating?"
Daniel narrowed his eyes. "Because he was giving us a chance to have fun without him first? Maybe if we'd all been doing what he considered to be more worthwhile things since he got extracted from our brains, these messages or whatever they were, would never have gone off."
"Whoa!" Jack looked between them. "Time out. Back up. Slow down. What are you talking about? Urgo was zapped out of our heads and put in that Toga guy. Fraiser checked us out and the chip thing was definitely gone."
Carter nodded, eyes bright with intelligence now her brain had something to work with again. "But he could have left suggestions buried in our psyches in the same way a…hypnotist would. He was a very sophisticated piece of AI who had managed to develop his own moral code. He obviously thought we weren't having enough fun and he should do something about it."
"Carter, he was an annoying little fat man."
"Actually, I liked him." She smiled at the memory then collected her thoughts. "I think we need to get Janet in on this. And maybe Doctor Mackenzie."
"Not Mackenzie," Jack said at once. "No head doctors. I don't want to be told about my sublimated impulses or whatever."
"Well Janet then." Carter looked around for their agreement and then went to the door. It was mildly disconcerting for them all to realize that the two airmen standing outside were there to guard them. She cleared her throat. "We need to see Doctor Fraiser…"
***
By mutual consent they divided up into pairs to head for the infirmary. Jack pointed down to the left, explaining to the airman, "Daniel and I need to go this way."
"And Teal'c and I definitely need to go this way," Sam assured the other guard.
Jack glanced over his shoulder at the airman who was following them and then took Daniel's elbow. "We need to stop by my office."
Daniel looked at him sideways. "For what?"
Jack gave him a look of exasperation in return. "You know for what."
And he did, that was the trouble, it wasn't as though Jack was the only one having to fight those insistent thoughts, not to mention those equally insistent stirrings below the waist. But all the same, Daniel gritted his teeth, trying to hang onto some higher brain functions. "Jack, you do remember what Urgo was capable of, right? The way he could influence us through the power of suggestion? He motivated us by increasing the acuity of our senses and…"
"And it works damned well." Jack increased his pace. "Just color me motivated."
Daniel also glanced over his shoulder at the guard then hissed quietly, "Will you at least try letting some of that blood go back to your brain for a few minutes?"
"No can do, all needed elsewhere." Jack increased his grip on Daniel's sleeve, practically dragging him along the corridor.
"Look, we need to think this through. At the moment we're just slaves to latent suggestions he must have left in our minds. This is just like when we all started singing 'Row, row, row your boat'. Or – or when we all had to go and eat dessert in the commissary."
"Nope," Jack hauled Daniel around the corner, heading for his office at the fastest possible walking pace. "This is way better than that."
"Well I have mixed feelings about being a piece of pie." Daniel pulled his arm free. "Jack, just think for a minute will you? We're not doing this because we want to; we're doing it because a year ago a piece of mutated software arbitrarily decided that our lives didn't have enough excitement in them."
"Who cares?" Jack fell onto the door of his office like a starving man onto a chicken wing. He held up a hand to the guard. "We need to go in here for a minute, airman, just – wait outside." He pulled Daniel inside and slammed the door, before pushing Daniel against the wall, putting his hands in his hair and kissing him hungrily. He started with his mouth, but then moved down to his neck, nibbling and then sucking on the pulse point before biting the soft flesh of Daniel's throat ravenously.
Daniel gradually fought his way back to some semblance of rational thought despite the way his knees seemed to have turned to liquid. He put a hand on Jack's chest and pushed him off. "Jack, just – think, will you?"
"I am thinking." Jack retorted impatiently. "I'm thinking Urgo couldn't make us do anything we didn't basically want to do when he was physically in our heads and so I doubt he can do it now when he isn't. Yes, I ate a little more pie than usual but I already liked pie." He put his hands to each side of Daniel's head and pulled him in for another kiss.
Daniel automatically responded to that skilful tongue in his mouth and then collected himself and pushed Jack off again. "I also remember you eating yogurt, which you don’t like, remember?"
Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You always have to think everything to death, don't you? Why can’t you just – go with the flow for once?"
"I went with the flow for three days, Jack. I was going with the flow when those airmen bust in and found us naked in a Jacuzzi together this morning. Now, all you and I have done since Sunday night is get drunk and have sex."
"Yeah, and it was fun!"
"But it didn't make any sense!" Daniel protested.
"Fun doesn't have to make sense, Daniel, that's what makes it fun."
Daniel sighed. "I'm just saying I may have a minor problem with being a piece of pie but I have a major problem with a being a pot of yogurt."
Jack pulled off his utility shirt and threw it onto the table. "You're definitely pie, Daniel. In fact you're the best goddamned pie I ever tasted, with whipped cream and a cherry on top, now for the love of God stop talking and start undressing." He tugged at Daniel's shirt determinedly and Daniel let him pull it down and off. He was trying very hard to tell himself they shouldn't be doing this; that they didn't really want to do this…but it felt so much like this was something he wanted to do with every cell in his body that it was difficult to hang onto that thought. When Jack pushed up his t–shirt and buried his face in Daniel's abdomen before kissing and nibbling a hungry trail up to his chest, Daniel found it harder and harder to believe this was something neither of them really wanted to do. "Jack – I – you – are you sure we should – oh God – "
As Jack's teeth closed on his nipple, Daniel was sure he could actually feel those brain cells frying. He managed a last faint protest: "He made Teal'c try the defibrillator –"
Jack's response was to unbutton Daniel's fly and slip a hand inside his boxer shorts. Daniel gasped something incoherent and then grabbed Jack's t–shirt and began to tug at it. Jack helped him by breaking off what he was doing to quickly haul the t–shirt over his head before throwing it at a nearby chair, then pulling Daniel back into another passionate kiss.
As Jack's left hand dived back into his boxer shorts and the trail he was kissing moved lower and lower, Daniel swore he felt the last of the blood in his brain pack its bags and head south…
Teal'c exchanged a glance with Major Carter as they strode along the corridor. It was clear that their escort needed to be dispensed with. And there were the security cameras to be rendered inoperative as well. She put her head close to his. "Zat?"
"In my quarters, Major Carter."
She looked over her shoulder at the guard. "We have to collect something from Teal'c's room so we need to swing by there."
Teal'c saw the indecision wash over his face and even felt sorry for the man. Major Carter was technically a superior officer but she was clearly something of a security risk at the moment or she would not be under guard. However, in Teal'c's experience Air Force personnel were so accustomed to obeying those of higher rank without question that he thought they should be able to carry out their plan without interference.
As they reached his room, they worked together as seamlessly as though they had been rehearsing this for days, Major Carter engaging the airman in conversation, while Teal'c picked up the zat gun he kept in his room for emergencies and slipping it into his belt before covering it with his blue utility shirt. As they reached the elevator, they worked together again, Teal'c stepping in first while Major Carter blocked the guard from following by an apparently innocent stumble. As the airman politely stepped back to give her room to recover, Major Carter darted into the elevator and hit the door button. "Sorry, this one's full," she told the airman. "You'd better take the next one."
Teal'c got a last glimpse of the airman's shocked face as the metal doors slid closed. He and Major Carter exchanged a glance and then he whipped the zatgun from his belt and blasted the security camera while Major Carter hit the emergency stop button. The elevator juddered to a stop between floors and Teal'c listened to the sound of the alarm wailing a protest. "How long will it take them to override the emergency stop control?" he enquired.
Major Carter was already tugging at his utility shirt. "At least twenty minutes, maybe even half an hour."
Teal'c tossed the zat gun into the corner. "That is most acceptable, Major Carter."
She put her arms around his neck. "Acceptable is definitely the word…"
***
Janet Fraiser looked at the four of them in exasperation. They weren't fooling anyone with those innocent expressions. Quite apart from the fact they were all glowing suspiciously and smelt of sex, you didn't need to be a genius to work out why Sam had arrived in the infirmary all breathless and disheveled or why Teal'c had that unmistakable air of being pleased with himself but trying not to show it with which men always imagined they were fooling the casual observer. Nor did you need to be a candidate for MENSA to work out how Daniel had got those hickeys on his neck he hadn't had when she'd examined him a mere hour before. Colonel O'Neill's air of mingled smugness and apology was something of a giveaway as well. And the way he kept licking his lips as though savoring the taste of something made her long to ask him if he kissed his mother with that mouth.
She'd herded them all into a private examination room where they couldn't be overheard and was now waiting for them to explain why they had come to see her.
As Daniel and Colonel O'Neill didn't seem to be able to do anything except shuffle their feet and dart each other little glances of mingled surprise and arousal, she turned to Sam. "So? Have you a theory as to why you're all behaving…the way you're behaving?"
"Urgo."
Daniel dragged his attention away from Colonel O'Neill with an obvious effort. "We think he left suggestions in our minds that were triggered to go off after a year."
"He suggested you should all start…?" She wasn't sure of the best way to phrase it. As far as she was aware 'Fucking like bunnies' was not a recognized medical condition.
"Exactly." Sam nodded.
Daniel leaned forward. "We think he probably wanted us to have fun."
"Which we have been." Colonel O'Neill had his arms folded and his body language was defiant. He was looking at her like a small boy who suspected he was going to have his lollipop taken away.
She glanced across at Daniel. For someone who had supposedly spent the last three days in bed, he certainly didn't look as though he'd been getting a whole lot of sleep. In fact she thought if someone didn't take Colonel O'Neill's lollipop away soon, it was going to get sucked down to the stick. She reached for the extra strength Tylenol. "Well as long as you're all slaves to your hormones you're not going to be heading out on any missions, Colonel. So it's really up to you. Do you want to be cured or not?"
Teal'c said calmly, "Do you think that a cure is possible, Doctor Fraiser?"
"That's what I'm wondering." Colonel O'Neill put a hand to the back of his neck and tried to crick it back into place. "I mean the box is open now. The feelings are out there. How do we get back from where we are now to where we were before? Supposing we even want to – which personally, I don't."
Janet handed Daniel two of the extra strength Tylenol and a glass of water. "Staying in bed all day with Daniel isn't really a life–plan with a pension attached, Colonel." She turned a disapproving gaze on Sam. "Nor is going on a trip to every county fair in North America."
Sam sighed. "I know. It was fun while it lasted, but we do know we can't go on like this. And I'm not saying the – fallout isn't going to be tricky, but I think if we understood why we'd been acting the way we have it might not be such a problem. Urgo obviously felt that Teal'c needed to see more of our world. And he felt I needed to think about something other that astrophysics and he thought the Colonel should…" She looked at O'Neill and Daniel and pulled a face. "Um – loosen up a little. And that Daniel should do something other than…translating. He wouldn't have understood the moral implications of what he was suggesting we do. It probably just seemed the same to him as encouraging us to eat nice food."
Daniel moistened his lips. "That makes sense. I mean human – mating rituals are such complex things it takes anthropologists years of study to even partially understand them, so we couldn't really expect Urgo to be able to grasp their significance in such a short period of time. I guess he just thought sex was fun and we should all be having more of it."
"That's a philosophy I can live with," O'Neill put in.
Daniel sighed. "Jack…"
"I know." O'Neill held up a hand. "I know. We can't go on like this. We need to get our heads back under old management. We've been compromised. Yadda yadda. I'm just saying, let's take a few more days."
"Sir," Sam looked at him, "none of us is exactly champing at the bit to give this up, but Janet's right, we can't live like this. And after two years of having Jolinar inside me I don't need latent suggestions from Urgo confusing me even further. Like I told Narim on Tollana, I need to know whose feelings I'm actually feeling."
Sam's words put an idea in Janet's head and she turned to the other woman urgently. "Sam, when Colonel O'Neill was left behind on Edora you told me you thought you had – feelings for him."
Sam looked at her in shocked betrayal before glancing over her shoulder hurriedly. "Janet…"
Daniel blinked at her in astonishment. "Sam?"
Janet held up a hand. "Believe me, it's relevant. Did you have any feelings for him before then?"
"I've always been – fond of him," Sam protested. "But, it was more the way you feel about a – cousin or something until then."
"Well the Colonel being left behind on Edora happened right after Urgo left. I think those feelings could have been triggered by a combination of Urgo having left suggestions in your mind and Colonel O'Neill being in peril. If he hadn't been in danger, possibly lost forever, I don't think those feelings would ever have emerged."
"That makes sense." Daniel gingerly sat down on one of the examination beds. "I never felt that way about Jack until he got left behind on Edora either – " Realizing what he'd just said, he shut his mouth with an audible clicking of teeth.
Sam gazed at him. "You felt it too?"
"Oh boy." Daniel put a hand up to his head.
"What?" Jack looked between them both. "You mean while I was on Edora you two were – pining for me?"
Janet nodded. "Well I think that confirms it. Urgo was messing around with an already pretty volatile mixture there. You've all literally been through hell together. You all care about each other probably far too much. Sam, you're single. Teal'c and the Colonel are both separated from their wives. Daniel's a widower. None of you have what could be termed active social lives. And Urgo thought it would be good for you to all start following through on every half–felt romantic impulse. No wonder you all got so confused over the last few days."
"Wait." Colonel O'Neill held up a hand. "Carter, are you saying that when I was in Edora you thought you were in love with me?"
"Not exactly love, more like – the wrong kind of feelings. Ones that weren't appropriate given that you were my CO."
He turned to Daniel. "And you too?"
Daniel wrapped his arms around his body. "It was difficult to categorize. I missed you – a lot. And I thought about you a lot. And I did start to worry I might have…"
"Fallen in love with me?"
"Or something." Daniel darted him a sideways look.
O'Neill turned to Teal'c. "What about you?"
"What about me, O'Neill?" Teal'c responded coolly.
"Well, did you…? You know – like Carter and Daniel?"
Teal'c returned his gaze levelly. "I did not."
O'Neill looked aggrieved. "Why not?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow and Daniel looked at O'Neill in exasperation. "Jack, Teal'c risked his life to save yours, remember. Now just put your ego on a leash and be grateful, will you?"
O'Neill looked suitably chastened and darted Teal'c a look of apology. "Sorry."
Janet turned on O'Neill. "And then you developed inappropriate feelings for Major Carter during your mission to blow up Apophis' ship, am I right?"
As Daniel turned on him with an expression of shocked disbelief on his face, O'Neill swallowed. "Um – it's not how it sounds."
"No, sir, I don't think it is." Sam looked around at them all. "Look – we know about alternate universes, places where all possibilities are played out. In the last two we encountered, the Colonel and I were romantically involved, suggesting there has always been a latent attraction between us which in some other dimensions can be realized because I'm not in the Air Force."
"What's your point?" O'Neill darted another quick glance at Daniel and gave him an apologetic grimace.
"Well that in this dimension I am in the Air Force, so that possibility should never have got off the ground. In this dimension you and I aren't meant to be together and any feelings that might have had a chance to develop in those other universes should be effectively stillborn in this one because of the Air Force regulations acting as a – "
"Big cold bucket of water." He nodded. "That makes sense."
"I've never really thought about the interpersonal possibilities before because the astrophysical aspects were so much more interesting, but don't you see, it's every possible permutation being played out. Which means that there are alternate universes where Daniel and the Colonel are involved, where Teal'c and I are involved, where Teal'c and the Colonel are involved, and Teal'c and Daniel, and Daniel and – "
"See, the other combinations I can just about buy," O'Neill interrupted. "But I just don't see any way that Teal'c and Daniel could be together. I mean – Teal'c's a warrior and Daniel's a scientist. I just don't see it."
Teal'c glanced impassively at O'Neill. "I disagree. I believe Major Carter is correct in her assumption that every possible permutation must be played out in some alternate dimension."
O'Neill made a face at him.
"But, sir, Teal'c, my point is that for all those possibilities to be played out there must be something inside of the people we are in this dimension to make it a possibility in the others. The Teal'cs in those other universes all must have it within them to rebel against Apophis even if they haven't actually done so in any we've encountered yet, and the Samantha Carter in this dimension must have it within her to have feelings for the Jack O'Neill here because we know that Samantha Carters in other dimensions have feelings for the Jack O'Neills in their dimensions. Maybe we even have less concrete patterns in our own lives because we've interacted with those other dimensions. Maybe you can't touch the quantum mirror and remain exactly who you were before you did it. I don’t know enough about the physics of parallel universes to be able to know that yet."
Janet looked around at Sam's audience and noticed that Colonel O'Neill had that glazed expression which suggested he wasn't following the argument too well. Teal'c was impassive. Daniel was the only one who seemed to be concentrating.
Daniel looked up. "So, you're saying we all have it within us to develop – inappropriate feelings for each other."
"Yes."
"And that Urgo's desire to push us into having more…fun might have tripped switches that in this dimension at any rate, were never meant to be tripped?"
She nodded. "Exactly."
Janet decided to help things along a little more. "I think it probably would only have ever taken a crisis to precipitate those feelings moving from the subliminal to the surface level. Such as when the potential object of affection was in danger."
Sam nodded emphatically. "Right, which is what happened on Apophis' ship. Daniel collapsed and the Colonel had no way of defending him from those serpent guards, and then I was left trapped behind the force–field on a ship that was going to blow up any minute. The Colonel probably had both those – switches tripped, but he would have probably found even the – inappropriate – feelings for me less confusing than the ones for Daniel because of the gender issue."
Janet looked at O'Neill. "Does that sound about right, Colonel?"
He gave his head a shake. "I have no idea what you're talking about! Are you saying that Carter was never in love with me and I was never in love with her and we just got – confused?"
"Pretty much." Sam shrugged. "It sounds about right, sir. I mean think about it, we've worked together all this time and we've always known any kind of romantic attachment was out of the question. We're both professionals. And those feelings don't happen overnight, they develop gradually – if they're allowed to. And neither of us would ever have allowed them to. It's a reflex in the services: you just don’t even go there. There has to have been an outside influence affecting us in some way."
She seemed so relieved that O'Neill gave her a level look. "Feel better now, do you, Carter?"
"Actually, yes." She nodded emphatically and caught Janet's eye. "To be honest, when I started feeling that way about the Colonel last year I felt as if I must have had my brains sucked out with a straw."
"Well, exactly." Janet nodded.
They both noticed O'Neill's expression at the same time and Sam winced. "No offence, Colonel."
"Some taken," he returned pointedly.
Daniel took off his glasses and cleaned them with the edge of his utility shirt. Not looking at him, he said, "So, Jack, while you and I were – doing what we've been doing the last few days – just when were you planning to tell me about your new feelings for Sam?"
O'Neill ran a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable with having to hold this conversation at all, never mind in public. "Look, I had exactly the same feelings for Carter I had for you. It's just that she was a woman and it's women I sleep with so I figured with you it was – friendship and with her it was more than that."
Daniel put his glasses back on and met his gaze. "Well if it's women you sleep with, what the hell have you and I been doing since Sunday night?"
"You've been doing what Urgo suggested you did," Janet put in smoothly. "You weren't responsible for your actions, Daniel. We all obey the little voices in our heads. They're what tell us to eat and drink and sleep and to duck when something dangerous comes in our direction. Most of the time they're what we need to keep us alive. But every now and then they lie to us and you know more about that that anyone." She put her penlight back in her pocket.
He sighed and nodded. "Well, at least Machello's little inventions never told me to go and have sex with Jack. I guess I should be grateful for small mercies."
"Hey," O'Neill looked around in exasperation. "I know what I felt and it was real."
"Which was real, Colonel?" Janet met his gaze levelly. "Your feelings for Major Carter or your feelings for Daniel?"
"Why does it have to be an either or thing? I care about both of them. A lot."
"Something you could have mentioned on Sunday night," Daniel said tautly.
"I did tell you I cared about you!"
"Yes, you did, but funnily enough Sam's name never came up."
"That's because I never thought of her when I was with you." As soon as he'd said it, O'Neill grimaced and turned to Sam. "Sorry, Carter, I didn't mean…"
She shrugged. "It's okay, sir. I know what you're saying. To be honest, I didn't think of you when I was with Teal'c either."
Daniel stood up abruptly. "It doesn't matter anyway, does it? Sam's already said it. Since Urgo left none of us have been in full control of our emotional responses, which makes everything that happened between when he was first implanted into our heads and the present effectively – meaningless."
As he headed for the door, O'Neill said, "Where are you going?"
Daniel deliberately didn't look at him and his tone was crisp. "To brief General Hammond on the current situation and suggest we make a return mission to P4X–A81 to ask Togar if he can remove the last of Urgo's subliminal programming from our minds. I don't know about you, but I'd like my life back."
As the door closed behind Daniel, O'Neill put a hand up to his head. "Shit."
"Daniel's right, sir," Sam put in. "We've effectively been compromised ever since Urgo was implanted into our minds. Those – inappropriate feelings could have been tripped at any time and could seriously have affected our judgment – the sooner they're gone the better for everyone."
"I don't want to stop feeling like this." O'Neill met Janet's gaze defiantly. "Okay? I like having these feelings for Daniel. I like feeling better just because he comes into a room. I even like feeling worse when he leaves. It let's me know I'm alive."
"But if those feelings are in fact only latent suggestions, O'Neill," Teal'c told him quietly, "what reality do they have?"
"Well they feel real to me right now."
Janet sighed. "Colonel, I can't sign you out as medically fit for any mission while part of your brain is effectively no longer under your control. And it's your choice but I would have to say this – if Daniel has the subliminal programming removed from his mind and you don't, where does that leave you?"
He got to his feet and snatched up his jacket. "Okay, fine. Let's all go back to P4X–A81 and let some alien mess with our heads again. And then we can come back and get on with exploring the galaxy like good little soldiers." Unlike Daniel, when he walked out of the room he made a point of slamming the door behind him.
***
The knock on the door was tentative, and Daniel tensed at the sound of it. Jack said quietly, "Can I come in?"
"Sure." Daniel shrugged. He deliberately didn't look up from his notebook until he heard the click of the door shutting. That was three things Jack never usually did: he never knocked, he never asked if he could come in, and he never shut the door behind himself when he did come in.
Jack cleared his throat. "I – uh – spoke to Hammond, he says you're writing him a quick mission briefing, but he's already agreed in theory to us returning to P4X-A81."
"Yes. I told the general I thought that was the only solution and he's happy to let us contact Togar and ask for his help. I'm just putting a few things down on paper." Daniel determinedly picked up his pen again. He was much too aware of Jack's presence, the scent of him, the warmth coming off him. Daniel had made a point of showering since their last – encounter, but Jack still had that musky sweat-and-semen odor of the recently satisfied. He could smell his own scent on the other man's skin. Daniel's groin twitched automatically in response and he gritted his teeth. He had to get rid of Jack and quickly because no way in hell was he climbing on that particular carousel one more time.
He pretended to be surprised to find Jack still in the room, raising his eyebrows. "Something else you want?"
"I think we need to talk."
Daniel turned his pen over in his fingers. "What's to talk about? We did a lot of things we would never normally do. We're going to have to live with it. I don't think talking about it is going to make either of us feel any better."
Jack sat down on the corner of the table. "Isn't that my line?" He picked up a book from Daniel's cluttered desk and then put it down again. "Look, I wasn't acting like myself on Sunday night, I know. I just had this sudden compulsion to go find you and take you somewhere we could be alone to…"
"Get drunk and naked together?" Daniel put in crisply.
Jack sighed. "Pretty much, yes. It just seemed like the only thing to do at the time. It was all I could think about."
Daniel shrugged. "Well that would be Urgo's little subliminal message landmine going off in our heads. I don't think we need to make too much of this. It's not like it was just you and me, Sam and Teal'c made fools of themselves as well."
"Daniel, I'm assuming that what I'm feeling for you right now isn't real. The sexual attraction, I mean." Jack looked at the books piled up on Daniel's desk. "The urge to – sweep all this stuff on the floor and do the show right here. Although I have to say it's pretty damned insistent – "
"Jack."
Jack collected himself with a visible effort. "Okay – I'm assuming that when we come back from visiting Togar you and I are going to wonder what the hell we were thinking of and how we could ever have done that together in a million years. I'm assuming that because you and Carter seem to think that's the way it's going to be and you're both way smarter than I am."
Daniel put down his pen. "Yes, that's what I'm assuming too."
"I'm also assuming we're going to be feeling like idiots."
"I think I'd go out on a limb and agree with you on that."
"So I want to say right now that I take the blame for everything that's happened since Sunday. I sought you out. I got you drunk. I instigated things. I wouldn't listen when you wanted to talk about why we might be acting the way we were. It was my fault and I know you regret it, and I'm sorry."
Daniel blinked. "Are you saying you don't regret it?"
Jack met his gaze. "Right here? Right now? No. I don't regret a minute of it. That first morning I woke up and found you in the bed next to me, I didn't give it a second thought, I wasn't even surprised, it just felt so damned – right."
Daniel ran a hand through his hair. "Look, there isn't any romance about what you and I did. We just obeyed a subliminal message someone else left in our heads. All we were doing was – eating pie."
"Best damned pie I ever tasted, Daniel."
"Still someone else's recipe, Jack." There was a long pause before Daniel gave a little shrug. "And besides, we can't work together if we're always wanting to rip each other's clothes off, and you and me being in a relationship would screw up the team dynamic."
"I know that."
"It's for the best this way."
"I know that too." Jack stood up. "That's why we're going to go and have all those messages telling us to have fun vacuumed out of our brains so we can go back to the way things were before."
Daniel winced at Jack's bleak expression. "Look – I don't like this any more than you do, I just don't see another way for us to go. And at the moment I'm more concerned about our friendship than I am about our – romance. I don't care that I had sex with someone of the same gender. It was a…new experience but it wasn't a bad experience. Actually, it was a pretty damned good experience. But I do care that I had sex with you because I'm worried everything might be screwed up between us now. I'm worried about how you're going to react after you're back in charge of your own brain again."
"Well that makes two of us." Jack ran a hand through his hair. "No one is more aware of my capacity for being a total asshole than I am."
Daniel bit his lip. "We're going to come back with a whole bunch of bad memories and with no one to blame except each other."
"They're good memories and I won't blame you."
"They're good memories now, Jack, they're not going to be good memories when you find the thought of you and me having sex disgusting."
Jack blinked at that. "I would never find the thought of you and me having sex disgusting. I didn't before Urgo put that stuff in my head so I'm damned sure I won't after I know how incredible we were together when we tried it. I cared about you as a friend before any of this stuff started and I'm going to care about you as a friend when it's finished. And there's no point in us being embarrassed. A drunken kiss at a party I would be embarrassed about. That might be a good reason to have some foot shuffling and eye avoidance, but we've gone way way past that point."
Daniel inclined his head. "Well I admit this was a little more serious than a confused grope under the mistletoe."
"I vote we just treat it as – something else we know about each other. I now know that you like to sleep on the left side of the bed, and that you scrunch up your face like you're listening for something when you come. I know you jam your fist in your mouth to stop yourself from screaming too loud at the moment of truth. I know you look more beautiful in the mornings than anyone and anything I've ever seen and I know..."
Daniel reached across and grabbed his arm. "Jack, don't. I know who you are and this isn't you. Don't dig us any deeper into a pit we're going to have to turn around and climb out of in a few hours time. I know you think it isn't really Urgo's message making you feel this way, but trust me, it is. There is nothing between us except friendship and in a few hours all we're going to have is that friendship, and if you go all mushy on me now it's just going to be that much harder to get back to what we used to have."
Jack collected himself and then nodded. "I know. I know. You're right. Okay. No more mushy stuff." He sighed and headed for the door.
Daniel picked up his pen again. The next thing he knew Jack had spun around, marched across the room, grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up into his arms.
"Okay, maybe this isn't real. Maybe it really is just Urgo screwing with our heads." Jack gazed into his eyes intently. "But I need you to know that right now I know I love you, and the only reason I never told you the way I feel about Carter was because from the moment you opened the door to me on Sunday, I never thought about anyone but you the whole eighty-four hours. And I have to do this one last time because after we get back from P4X-A81, the Jack O'Neill you're going to be working with probably won't want to do this again, and as that guy is clearly a certifiable imbecile I have to make up for him." He put his hands to the side of Daniel's face and pulled him into a deep, tender, and passionate kiss that literally left Daniel gasping for breath. Then he reluctantly let him go and backed up. Jack paused by the door. "I hate giving this up, Daniel."
Daniel was still breathing quickly, chest rising and falling as the aftershocks of that kiss reverberated through him. It was all he could do not to leap across the room, grab Jack and pull him down onto the floor. A hundred messages from his brain to his erogenous zones were urging him to do exactly that but he forced himself to stay where he was. "I hate it too." He met his gaze, hoping there wasn't as much misery in his eyes as there was in Jack's. "But it's still the right thing to do. This isn't us, Jack. We don't do this. We don't even want to do this."
Jack turned the door handle; still standing in the doorway he said quietly, "I know. But you know what? For the life of me I can't remember why not."
***
Samantha Carter looked at the array of soft toys taking up every available piece of shelf–space in her office and sighed. 'It's all fun and games until someone breaks a nail.' In this case, it was all fun and games until duty called you back to the place and the person you'd been before. And this was better, of course it was. You couldn't be an officer in the Air Force and spend your days going AWOL with a teammate with whom you then proceeded to get much too friendly. You couldn't be reckless and frivolous; you couldn't give authority an Italian salute; you couldn't spend your days driving from county fair to county fair just for the fun of riding another big dipper; and you definitely couldn't eat cold pizza in a haybarn then have mind-meltingly wonderful sex with one of your closest friends. But it had been fun while it lasted and hard as she might try to regret it, she just couldn't.
She was lucky it had been Teal'c with whom Urgo had programmed her to run away and play, of course. There was so much mutual respect and trust between them she really didn't think this was ever going to cause any problems. Even leaving aside the fact it would have felt like incest, Daniel would probably have got too emotionally involved and she'd have had to let him down gently later. And if it had been Colonel O'Neill…Sam shook her head at the thought. No one was denying the Colonel was handsome, and when he wore that leather jacket he was damned close to irresistible but he didn't have Teal'c's peerless discretion and good taste. She just knew that if it had been the Colonel he would have been way too pleased with himself afterwards. He'd have sat there smirking in mission briefings and the urge to throw something at him would have been overwhelming. She winced. Poor Daniel. Life was always handing him the short straw. Still, hopefully the fact Daniel was technically the 'wrong' gender might stop the Colonel from feeling too smug about those fifteen times he'd been so proud of.
Both Daniel and the Colonel been very quiet on the trip back to P4X-A81. She hadn't been there for the initial negotiations but she gathered Daniel had explained the problem to Togar, and after the alien had consulted with Urgo they had been given permission to come through the gate. She was sorry they hadn't been able to see the entity who had once appeared to be no more than an errant pixel on one of Janet's X–rays. It was disconcerting having a conversation with someone who was invisible, and anyway she would just have liked to see him again. She'd been rather fond of Urgo. However, the shocked expressions on her teammate's faces when she'd casually mentioned how much she missed having him around sometimes had told her she was alone in that feeling. After that, she'd taken care to keep her regrets to herself, but every now and then she had found herself looking for him and wishing he were there.
She was the one who'd asked Togar to explain to Urgo that they weren't angry about what he'd done; they understood he'd had their best interests at heart and they even appreciated the thought.
It was the Colonel who'd had to be restrained by Teal'c and Daniel when Urgo had told Togar to tell them he'd known they'd like it and had they had plenty of fun? Wincing apologetically as the Colonel demanded she tell him how to rip a piece of software a new one, Sam had taken Togar to one side and asked him if the last traces of Urgo's influence could be erased from their minds.
"This is difficult." Togar frowned in concentration. "But it should be possible. Do you wish me to erase your memories of the last few days also? This is a simple procedure and should present no problems."
"No!"
Daniel was the last one she expected to be so emphatic and she looked at him in surprise. He had his arms wrapped around himself again; that was never a good sign. He bit his lip before saying more quietly, "I mean – they're part of who we are now. Part of our shared experiences."
Togar looked between him and the Colonel in surprise. "But, the error's information concerning human interaction suggests you will now feel awkwardness and embarrassment while in each other's company. If I simply erase your memories of your uncharacteristic behavior –"
"He said 'no'," the Colonel put in tersely. "We did it and everyone on the damned base knows we did it. You can't erase that, and at least this way we'll know what they're sniggering about behind our backs in the canteen." He looked around at the others, belatedly seeming to realize this wasn't a decision he could make for everyone else. "Or at least let's take a vote on it."
Teal'c turned to her enquiringly. "Major Carter, would you prefer to obliterate all memory of recent events?"
Sam saw the concern in his eyes was all for her and smiled gently, giving him a reassuring pat on the arm. "No, I'd like to remember them. Like Urgo said, we did have fun, right?"
Teal'c inclined his head. "We did indeed." He glanced at her sideways. "But are you certain that our recent – actions will not cause you to feel any discomfort in my company or any lessening of your – "
Seeing that he was uncharacteristically struggling for the right words, Sam tightened her grip on his arm. "Teal'c, if you're asking if I'm still going to respect you in the morning the answer is a big fat yes." She couldn't resist adding, "And how."
Teal'c's quiet smile made the perfect contrast to Colonel O'Neill's scowl but she couldn't help noticing it was Daniel he immediately glanced at and that he made sure to position himself between Daniel and Teal'c from then on. She concealed a snicker behind a faked cough, earning herself a suspicious glare from the Colonel. The way he took Daniel by the arm and surreptitiously nudged him even further away from Teal'c was something she couldn't help hoping Urgo had seen. He'd been much fonder of Daniel than the Colonel. Perhaps he'd thought it was high time Colonel O'Neill stopped taking Daniel's friendship for granted and worked at it a little. She could definitely relate to that…
Remembering that scene now, Sam sighed, picked up the stuffed leopard and sat down on the corner of her desk. Daniel had asked Togar not to erase their memories of their visit to his world this time. They needed to remember everything, he said, even what they'd forgotten, and Togar had reluctantly agreed. They'd been put under some sort of light tubes while a beam shone down on them. She'd felt a vague tingling in her brain. Then they'd been sent back through the 'gate. General Hammond had been waiting for them anxiously at the foot of the ramp.
"Welcome back, SG–1." The general looked between them all. "Was the mission a success?"
That was when Sam had looked across at Teal'c and known the answer to that question. She'd seen someone she respected, admired, would have risked her own life to protect and cared for probably more deeply than was sensible given the likely life–expectancy of a Jaffa who had betrayed a vengeful Goa'uld who now had all of Sokar's forces at his disposal. She had also seen, of course, that he was undoubtedly very handsome and someone to whom, under different circumstances, she would definitely have been attracted. But these weren't different circumstances. Teal'c was her teammate and Major Samantha Carter didn’t have sexual feelings for a teammate. That box was not just closed, it was locked and buried six feet under. Her hormones had made one last ditch attempt to remind her that it wasn't hypothetical any more. Teal'c wasn't someone she might possibly have had incredible sex with; Teal'c was someone she'd had incredible sex with. But being in the Air Force taught you how to deal with traitorous hormones and she cut that thought off before it was even fully formed. She patted Teal'c gently on the arm and turned to the general. "Yes, sir. A complete success."
Teal'c inclined his head. "I concur."
That was when the general looked at Daniel and the Colonel, expression anxious as his gaze rested on Daniel, questioning as he turned to the older man. "Colonel O'Neill?"
The Colonel shrugged. "The first time I saw Carter I thought she was a damned attractive woman, and I still do. The first time I saw Daniel I thought it would be a good idea to keep him out of prison, and I still do. So I guess you could say I'm back to normal, sir."
His anxiety clearly unassuaged by Colonel O'Neill's response, the general turned to Daniel, his expression soft. "Doctor Jackson?"
Daniel came on down the ramp, saying quietly, "We're back to normal, sir. And I'm sorry for the trouble we – "
"Not your fault, son." Hammond said gently. "Why don't you go and get some rest. You look like you could do with a good night's sleep."
The Colonel grimaced. "Well I guess we'll all be getting plenty of that from now on."
Daniel darted him a sideways look. "Jack…"
The Colonel reached out to pat him on the shoulder and then stopped himself, sighing as he put his hand down again. "We're back to normal, sir. We're tired, hungry, and feeling a little silly, that's all."
"Perfectly understandable, Colonel. Why don't we schedule the debriefing for tomorrow at 1300 hours. That should give you all a chance to recover from the after-effects of Togar's procedure."
They all muttered a thank you, voices subdued, being careful not to make eye contact with any of the airmen in the 'gateroom as they handed over their weapons and then headed for the exit.
"Jack?" The general spoke quietly and Sam looked over her shoulder in time to see Colonel O'Neill sigh again and turn to General Hammond resignedly. As she left the 'gateroom she saw Hammond reach across and pat the Colonel on the arm in sympathy while the Colonel nodded. As the doors closed behind her, she'd been abruptly aware of how grey the walls were, how far underground they were. The world Urgo had wanted them to explore had been frivolous and full of emotional landmines, it was true, but there was no doubt it had also been more colorful than this one.
Sam looked down at the stuffed leopard in her arms and realized she was hugging it for consolation. She made herself stop. They hadn't lost anything, after all. They'd gone temporarily – and admittedly rather enjoyably – insane. Now they were themselves again. As Janet had pointed out, this was really no different from Daniel being infected by Machello's Goa'uld killing device and starting to hallucinate as a consequence. Alien technology had influenced them again, now they were free of its influence and they had reason to be grateful they still had careers to come back to. A less tolerant man than General Hammond would have given them all their marching orders after the way they'd behaved.
But…But it had been fun while it lasted. Sam looked around the room, the soft toys smiling complacently at her from every shelf. She really needed to get these parceled up and taken to the local hospital. She'd get Cassandra to help her. Doing something normal and – innocent was probably exactly what she needed right now. But, first –
Coming to an abrupt decision, she snatched the monkey and the rabbit at random, added them to the toy leopard in her arms, and headed in the direction of Teal'c's quarters.
Teal'c was meditating. He had suggested to Colonel O'Neill and Daniel Jackson that they might benefit from the same exercise but O'Neill had declined with emphasis. Daniel Jackson had said listlessly that he might come along later; he wasn't really in the mood right now. O'Neill had opened his mouth to say something which Teal'c was almost certain was an objection and then shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Some kelno'reem is probably a damned good idea at the moment. Have fun you two." Then he had patted Daniel Jackson on the arm briskly before walking in the direction of his office.
Teal'c was quietly ensuring that his feelings for Major Carter were all they should be. He knew his affection and respect for her remained undimmed. His admiration was if anything increased by recent events but then his admiration for her had been considerable before. But he did not want any – inappropriate feelings to have taken root. Nor did he intend to think of the days they had shared together while traveling across her world. Now that their relationship was back as it had been before, to dwell on their brief period of intimacy would be disrespectful to the friendship they shared.
From time to time his mind tried to show him an image from what Major Carter had referred to as their 'road trip' but each time it occurred, Teal'c quietly but firmly overlaid it with a memory of Major Carter operating as a warrior in the field. His mind was used to obeying his commands and it did so now. The unwanted memories were coming much less frequently and were being replaced by more appropriate images almost as soon as they appeared.
When the gentle knock came on his door, he knew at once who it was. As the door opened, he nodded. "Major Carter."
She gave him an apologetic smile. "Just – wondered how you were doing?"
"I am fine." He had noticed from the beginning that this was the terminology which seemed to reassure the Tau'ri the most and adopted it now. "How are you?"
"Oh – fine." She came in and closed the door, automatically sitting cross–legged opposite him. She licked her forefinger and moved it through one of the candle flames. "Wonder how Daniel and the Colonel are doing?"
"They will be fine." As she looked unconvinced, Teal'c cast around for something more reassuring to offer her. "They are both very resilient."
"I know but they were already a little – " Major Carter clasped her hands together so the fingers interlocked and mimed trying to pull them apart. "You know."
Teal'c nodded. Daniel Jackson and Colonel O'Neill had been too emotionally dependent upon each other for some time now. It was no wonder that on occasion their tempers became a little frayed. "But the bond between them has already survived considerable pressure in the past. I have no doubt it can also survive this."
As he spoke, he remembered the look on Daniel Jackson's face when he realized O'Neill had deceived them all to hunt down the errant SG team single-handed. He also recalled the way Daniel Jackson had marched from the corridor after O'Neill had attempted to make him an apology, leaving O'Neill looking most discomfited. As he and Major Carter had followed Daniel Jackson, she had murmured to Teal'c, "Ooh, don't think a whole case of chocolate walnut cookies is going to square this one in a hurry. The colonel had better prepare himself for some serious groveling if he wants Daniel to speak to him again."
"Yes, but they never…" Major Carter winced as the flame singed her finger and put it in her mouth. "You know."
It always fascinated Teal'c that a language so rich and expressive as that of the English adopted by the Tauri was so underused by its native speakers. "Indeed, Major Carter. But I firmly believe they will be able to overcome their present embarrassment and return to their previous relationship without too much difficulty."
"And what about us? Do you think we can overcome our present embarrassment and return to our previous relationship?"
Teal'c returned her gaze. "As far as I am concerned, we have already done so."
Major Carter smiled in relief. "Oh boy, I definitely got the long straw on this mission."
Teal'c frowned. "I am unfamiliar with that term in this context. In what way did you get the 'long straw'?"
"Oh in every way. And I must take Daniel out and buy him dinner or something to make up for it. I always knew Urgo liked me best."
"He was indeed most fond of you, Major Carter."
"Well despite everything I'm feeling pretty fond of him right now." She got to her feet and held out the stuffed leopard in some embarrassment. "Memento. I'm keeping the teddy bear. Thought you ought to have something too."
Teal'c had not yet been able to fathom out the attraction of these mock-pets for grown women on this world. He presumed they were some form of substitute for animals of flesh and blood which circumstances prevented them from being able to keep in their own homes. But as even a young leopard would be capable of causing serious injury to a grown man, its representation in the form of a children's toy was inexplicable to him. However, he understood that she meant the gesture kindly and placed the toy on his desk with due respect. "I will honor it as a symbol of your great prowess with a weapon, Major Carter."
She gave him a rueful smile. "Okey-dokey. Well, guess I'd better go and check up on Daniel and the Colonel. See how they're doing."
He saw the anxiety behind her apparently cheerful expression and repeated gently, "They will be fine."
As she opened the door she sighed. "I hope you're right, Teal'c. I really do."
***
Sam found Colonel O'Neill standing awkwardly outside her office. He looked as though he wasn't quite sure what to do next. She glanced at him encouragingly. "You wanted to see me, sir?"
"Yes. I – " He jerked his thumb in the direction of the office. "Would you mind if we – ?"
As she followed him in, she couldn't help asking, "How's Daniel?"
He grimaced. "Don't know. He's my next stop." He sat down on her chair and began to fiddle with the things on her desk.
She always tried not to hover when he started moving her belongings around, but like Daniel she usually gave way to temptation and ended up putting equipment out of his reach. After a brief struggle, she picked up the microscope and put it on a high shelf, giving him an apologetic smile as she did so. She wasn't supposed to take it out of the lab anyway and he'd managed to drop one of Daniel's clay tablets on the floor last week while trying to persuade Daniel to stop working and eat dinner with him, smashing it irretrievably in the process. Daniel had been decidedly under-whelmed.
Colonel O'Neill picked up a sheet of data on wormhole physics and looked at it upside down. It was obvious that when he turned it around the right way it meant no more to him. As those calculations added up to several hours work, she couldn't resist gently plucking the paper from his fingers and putting it in her desk drawer. "What about you, sir?" she asked gently. "How are you coping?"
"Good question." He glanced up at her. "Wish I had an answer for you. What about you?"
She realized he was trying to be a good CO and could well understand that he needed to know if he still had a team who could work together. She hastened to put his mind at rest. "…So you see, Colonel, Teal'c and I have no problem with working together. Our relationship really is unaffected. Actually, I think a mission would probably be good for all of us."
"Probably."
He seemed so listless she impulsively offered him the toy monkey she was carrying. "This is for you, sir. I have a ton of them. I thought in a few months time we might actually be glad to look back on this little – interlude, and these would make good reminders."
He looked at the monkey for a moment. "Sort of souvenir from Sin City?"
She shrugged. "It was certainly different."
"Oh, it was that." He ran a hand through his hair and then said tersely. "Carter, do you still have what Fraiser calls 'inappropriate feelings' for me?"
"No, sir."
He blinked. "You don't want to take a minute to think about it? Maybe mull it over for a while?"
She couldn't help smiling. " I think I've had plenty of time to think about it. We weren't ourselves before. Now we are."
He reached across and closed the door, lowering his voice to say urgently, "Carter, will you do me a favor? Round about now I am as confused as hell, so I’d really appreciate your help in clearing up a couple of things."
She shrugged. "Anything I can do to assist, Colonel."
"Would you mind if we – " He made circling motions with his hands which it took her a while to interpret as a request for permission to kiss her.
She took a step back. "Oh."
He held up a finger. "Just as – an experiment. I know about the regulations and this has nothing to do with – you know. I just need to know if I'm me, and who me is anyway. Not to mention who you are and – "
Taking pity on him, she put her hands to his head and pulled him down for a kiss.
As they pulled apart, he was frowning as though he was listening for something and she realized he was trying to assess the impact of their kiss on himself. He looked at her interrogatively. "Did that – do anything for you?"
She released him, grimacing apologetically. "Not really, no. I mean it was – very nice."
"Yes." He nodded.
"But it wasn't – " She mimed sparks flying by jabbing her fingertips together so they were almost touching.
"No." He scratched his jaw. "I noticed that."
He looked a little deflated and she felt unkind. "But it was – good, definitely. I mean, if circumstances were different…"
"Absolutely." He nodded with emphasis. "Fireworks, no question, but given the regulations – "
"Like you said, sir. Big bucket of cold water."
"Well. Glad we got that cleared up."
"Me too." She looked at him encouragingly. "Was there – anything else?"
"Nope." He moved towards the door, still frowning in concentration. "That was pretty much it.
She picked up the toy monkey and put that and the stuffed rabbit into his arms. "That one's for Daniel, sir."
Colonel O'Neill looked down at the soft toys as though they were alien invaders. "Okay." He glanced around her office, frowning at the toys occupying every space. "You're going to get rid of some of these, right?"
"Yes, sir. This weekend."
"It's just a little – Trouble With Tribbles in here at the moment."
"I know, sir. Don't worry they'll all be packed up and gone by Monday." As he still hesitated she said encouragingly, "Say hi to Daniel from me."
He seemed to get the message at last and looked between the monkey and rabbit in obvious confusion. "Oh. Right."
He opened the door and went out into the corridor, still looking between the two soft toys as though he thought they were going to bite him. Having counted to ten, she tiptoed over to the door and pulled it closed behind him. Then she sat down by her desk and exhaled in relief. It was nice to be herself again. As she reached for her laptop she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She frowned at herself in surprise and then fingered her hair. That wasn't regulation length. That was very decidedly not an inch off the collar. Pulling a face at those unkempt strands, she reached for the phone and dialed an outside line. As the phone was answered at the other end, she said emphatically, "This is Samantha Carter. Do you have a booking free this week? I really need to get a haircut."
***
Jack reached out to knock on the door and then stopped himself. He walked into the office and said, "Hey."
Daniel looked up from a notebook. "Hey."
Jack looked over his shoulder and then closed the door. He did it gently, as though he could remove any significance from the action if he just pushed it to softly enough. When he turned around he held up the toy rabbit. "Carter sent you this. I have no idea why."
Daniel took the soft toy from him, gazed at it for a moment, nonplussed, and then put it on a shelf. "Well if it has any hidden meaning I'm not getting it either."
Jack reached across him and put the toy monkey next to the rabbit. Not looking at Daniel he said quietly, "How are you doing?"
"Fine." Daniel took refuge in a cup of coffee.
Jack sat down on the desk and looked at him. "No, I mean, really, how are you doing?"
"Well, I'm me again." Daniel said it brightly. After a long pause, he looked up at Jack. "What about you?"
Jack ran a hand through his hair. "Me? I'm confused."
Daniel blinked. "What, the process didn't work with you or – ?"
"No, it worked. I'm me again as well. I can sit here and have a conversation with you without wanting to throw you to the floor and ravish you every five minutes – "
"That's good."
" – but I don't feel that different apart from that. I mean – " Jack shrugged. "Actually I don't know what I mean."
Daniel put down his pen. "Jack, we're bound to feel a little awkward for a while. We might not have those feelings any more but we remember what it was like to feel them."
Jack looked around. "Have you got another cup?"
Daniel got up and went over to where the coffee was. He poured the other man a cup of it and handed it to him. As Jack took the handle, their fingers touched and Daniel flinched, jolting the mug. A splash of coffee spilt on the desk. "Damn – "
Daniel looked around for a cloth, but Jack pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and began mopping. "It's okay, Daniel, I've got it."
"I'm sorry." Daniel sat back down and ran a hand through his hair. "How was Sam doing anyway?"
"Carter? She's fine. Can't see what she ever saw in me and is thrilled about it."
"And what about you?" Daniel deliberately didn't look at him as he asked the question, busying himself with the papers on his desk. As he pulled a folder out from under the pile, he sent his pen rolling towards the edge of the desk. He snatched at it and missed.
Jack leant down and retrieved it for him, holding it out. "I'm over Carter. At least – it's kind of hard to tell. If I'm honest, if anything happened to any one of you on a mission, I don't think I'd ever recover from it, and that's a truth I've been ducking since you got left behind on Nem's world and I thought you were dead. Since then I've thought you were blown up on a ship, Carter was turned into a Goa'uld, and Teal'c was lying dead at the bottom of a river. In none of those cases could I have come back here and gone out on another mission."
Daniel took the pen from him. "Jack, in any other world except the one you inhabit that would be considered normal human behavior. It's only the services that expects you to just shrug it off when a friend dies."
"But this is the world I inhabit. I'm part of the SGC. It's my job to lead the three of you through the Stargate and at the moment I'm not sure I'm the best man for that job."
Daniel looked up. "What? Why? Because it would bother you if we died? As one of the people on your team I'd have to say I consider that a desirable trait. I'm all for having a team leader who wants to keep me alive."
Jack looked at him. "At the expense of a mission? Back on Klorel's ship I made the right choice when I left you there to die. There was nothing I could do for you and we were on a suicide mission anyway, the important thing was to make sure we blew up the other ship before it wiped out the planet."
Daniel nodded. "Exactly. When it counted you made the right choice."
"I don't think I could do that now." Jack took a sip of the coffee and made a face. "When was the last time you changed your filter?"
Daniel shrugged. "I don't know. And what do you mean you don't think you could do that now?"
"I mean, I don't think I could do that now. Come on, Daniel, you're a linguist. Work with me here."
Daniel put a hand up to his head. "Are you saying that you don't want me on your team any more?"
"No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying – I don't know what I'm saying. I think I probably care about you all too much but if you don't mind I guess it's something I just need to live with." He picked up a book, looked at the title and then put it back down again. "Look have you ever had a dream where you sleep with someone you would never normally think of that way?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well, you know how the next time you see them, it's difficult not to feel all this – tenderness for them – because of this thing you shared. You can't see them in the same way. And it's insane, because they don't know anything about your dream and they don't feel the same way. But, for you, everything is a little different."
"Yes." Daniel met his gaze. "You look at them sideways for a couple of days and feel all hot and bothered when they come into a room, but then it wears off and you remember that none of the things you're feeling were ever actually real."
Jack took another sip of coffee. "What if it doesn't wear off?"
"It will."
Jack held his gaze. "What if it doesn't?"
"It will." Daniel picked up his coffee cup and took a gulp of the bitter liquid.
There was a pause before Jack put down his mug and got to his feet. "You're right. The process worked and it was just a – dream we both had." There was a pause before he added quietly, "A nice dream."
Daniel looked up, visibly touched by that. "Thank you. For me too."
"So, we're going to be okay?"
"We are okay, Jack. We're sitting here having this conversation. That means we're okay."
Jack reached across and patted Daniel gently on the shoulder. "Don't forget to get some sleep. General's orders, remember?" He was almost at the door before he stopped and turned around. "Daniel – I need to try something. Do you mind?"
"What?" As Jack beckoned to him to stand up, Daniel did so. "What is it?"
Jack gave him an apologetic grimace then leant across and gently removed Daniel's glasses, Daniel blinking in surprise as he did so. Jack folded them and put them down on the desk. "Would it be okay if I…?"
It took Daniel a moment to work out what he was asking. His eyes widened in understanding. "Oh. Do you think that's a – ?"
"A good idea? No, probably not. But I need to know. I need us both to know what was real and what wasn't. And then I swear I'll never mention it again. Is that okay?"
Daniel shrugged. "I'm easy – but then you already know that."
Jack grinned despite himself. "Hey, don't impugn my teammate. I threatened to sing to him if he didn't take his clothes off and get in the hot tub with me. What choice did he have?"
Daniel tried and failed to suppress a smile of his own. "How do we do this?"
Jack reached out gingerly and put his hands to each side of Daniel's face. "I seem to remember we did it like this."
Jack noticed that Daniel closed his eyes when he kissed him. That was a good sign, surely? Or did he mean a bad sign? Or perhaps Daniel automatically closed his eyes when anyone kissed him? There was an endless moment when their lips were touching and Jack could feel Daniel's breath against his mouth, the soft moist warmth of his lips, then Jack slowly drew back. Daniel opened his eyes. Jack said hoarsely, "So?"
Daniel raised his eyebrows. "So?"
"Did you feel anything?"
Daniel swallowed. "You go first."
"No, you." Jack stepped back. "Did you feel anything or didn't you?"
As he waited for Daniel's answer he was very aware of the sound of the clock ticking on the wall. Daniel darted him a sideways look, clearly trying to come to a decision, then he said, "No."
Jack stole a glance at Daniel and saw the younger man watching him anxiously. He shrugged as casually as he could. "Nor me."
Daniel stepped back as well. "That's okay then."
"Yes." Jack retreated another pace. "Couldn't be happier about it."
"Me too."
"Good old Toga."
"Ditto." Daniel picked his glasses up and put them back on. He sat down a little suddenly.
Jack exhaled. "Well, I guess it’s not in this dimension that you and me are meant to be together."
"Looks that way." Daniel gave him a tight smile.
"I quite like the idea that there are you and me's out there doin' it every chance they get though."
"Yes." Daniel picked his pen up again. "Good luck to them."
As Daniel turned his head, Jack was disconcerted to see those love–bites on Daniel's neck. Somehow, he'd thought they would have faded too. Along with Daniel's feelings for him. Jack backed up towards the door. "And we're going to be okay?"
Daniel nodded. "We're going to be fine, Jack."
"Right." Jack opened the door. "I'll – swing by later, shall I? We could go get something to eat – the four of us."
"Good idea."
"Don't forget to get a couple of hours sleep."
"You too." Daniel busied himself with his notebook.
Jack took a last look at him and then went out into the corridor. He glanced over his shoulder but Daniel was apparently completely absorbed in writing in his notebook. Jack shrugged and murmured to himself, "Business as usual then." He brushed imaginary specks of dust from his jacket. There were still images coming into his head of him and Daniel in that hot tub, not to mention in that king sized bed, on the living room floor, halfway up the stairs, on the kitchen table, under the shower, against the wall of Jack's office…but they would fade. It was already starting to seem a little unreal. The guy sitting at that desk sipping coffee and translating cuneiform was so obviously not someone who would ever gasp Jack's name at the moment of climax. Which was good, because now they could go back to being just the way they'd been before. Like it had never even happened. Which was what Jack, wanted, right? Right. No regrets of any kind. They weren't going to be sorry they'd done what they'd done and they weren't going to be sorry they'd had to stop when they did. It had just been a…strange interlude. Like that Shakespeare play with the pixies, and the guy with the ass's head the really hot fairy chick had a crush on. Actually, no, he didn't like that comparison at all…
Jack gave himself a mental shake and turned in the direction of Teal'c's quarters. Teal'c was probably done kelno'reeming by now, and he'd been acting like a jerk around Teal'c the last few days. The guy was his friend, not his rival. And Teal'c had been through this whole – subliminal message thing just the same as Jack had and on a world and in a culture that wasn't his own. He was probably feeling pretty confused at the moment whatever Carter might say about everything being okay between them. Women seemed to think sex was just like trying on a new pair of shoes sometimes. It was different for guys. They might not yap about how they felt all the time but that didn't mean they didn't feel things. Deeply. Definitely time to go and lend a bit of moral support to his team. All of his team.
As he walked along the corridor, Jack had a memory of the last kiss come back into his mind, and grimaced. It had been too soon, that was all. Of course you couldn't kiss someone you'd been all on a fire for only a few hours before and not feel anything. You'd have to be dead from the neck up as well as the waist down not to feel anything. He'd even felt something when he'd kissed Daniel during that time loop – and yes, Mackenzie would have a field day with that, but damnit, Daniel had practically suggested it. Well, okay not that, but he'd put the idea in Jack's head with his whole 'no consequences' thing. He'd been curious, that was all. It had been a joke, damnit. He'd kissed Daniel to see how Daniel would react, and Daniel had reacted like a mullet who'd just been stunned with a really big club. He'd kissed Carter. He'd kissed Daniel. Big deal. What, you couldn't kiss your teammates when they weren't going to remember it without that having some deeper significance?
As Jack reached out to knock on Teal'c's door, he reminded himself firmly that the main thing was that they were all back to normal now.
He just wished he were a little clearer about exactly what normal was.
The End