Title: Aftershock
Author: Brenda A
Author Page: Brenda A 
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: set immediately after S2 Serpent's Lair
Category: angst; friendship
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Catherine Langford had never required much sleep. Not when she was an eager, young scientist, and not now when she was a much older, but still devoted scientist. Last night she'd only slept a few hours, but awoke feeling refreshed and more than ready to face a new day, even if that day was still a mere glimmer on the horizon.

Having spent most of her life alone, she found it rather ironic that she was now unable to sleep the night through when her husband, Ernest, was out of town, but she had no problem keeping herself occupied. She'd been invited to speak at the Society for Archaeological Sciences in Los Angeles next week and planned to spend the day working on her presentation.

Her housekeeper didn't work on the weekends, so Catherine busied herself making tea and toast and carried it into the living room for a quiet breakfast. She had just set the tray on the table when she happened to glance out of the window and stopped, frowning. That looked like... Her eyes widened in surprise. It was Daniel Jackson's white Explorer, and she could just make out a form behind the steering wheel. Quickly grabbing a sweater from the closet, she hurried outside. What on earth was the boy doing here outside her house at this time of the morning? And, more to the point, what was he doing sitting out there in the cold instead of knocking on her door?

Worry nagged at her as she strode out to the vehicle, her sweater wrapped tightly around her against the pre-dawn chill. She first thought Daniel must have been asleep to be sitting out here, but when she reached the driver's side she saw he was awake. He was sitting very still, and he seemed to be staring off into the distance as if completely unaware of his surroundings. She hesitated only an instant before rapping softly on the glass.

He jumped as if he'd been shot, his head whipping around so fast his hair flew in all directions before slowly settling back down to sweep over his forehead. When she got her first good look at him, Catherine had to school her features not to show her dismay. He looked exhausted, his eyes over-wide from lack of sleep, dark circles visible through the thin lenses of his glasses, his unshaven features haggard. But he broke into a wide smile when he saw her and clambered out of the car to gather her into a tight embrace. "Catherine!"

She returned the hug fiercely, trying not to think about how desperately he clung to her, about the stark relief she'd seen in his eyes when he saw her, about the tremors that were racing through his body. Oh God, what is it? What's happened? She wouldn't let herself ask those questions yet. For now she just held him tightly because that's what he seemed to need.

She heard him sigh, deeply, then slowly his hard grip eased and he released her, still smiling. But there were shadows in his blue eyes, and his smile seemed... haunted. "It's good to see you," he blurted, and there was the faintest tremble in his voice.

She returned his smile with one of her own, keeping her voice calm and affectionate. "It's good to see you, too, Daniel. To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

His eyes slid away from her face and he shifted from one foot to the other. "Um, I just... I wanted to see you... and... "

When it was obvious he wasn't going to continue, she took his arm and gently began steering him toward the house. "Well, I'm glad you came," she said briskly. "You know you're always welcome here, and with Ernest out of town I won't have to eat breakfast alone."

He started to pull back. "No, Catherine, you don’t have to --"

"Nonsense," she said firmly, in a tone a voice that brooked no discussion. "I've just made tea and it's freezing out here." And there is no way I'm letting you out of my sight until I know what's wrong. "I haven't seen you in ages," she continued in a scolding tone. "I expect we have a lot to catch up on."

He shrugged apologetically. "I know. It's just, things have been kind of busy..."

His voice trailed off and she felt him shiver. Quickly ushering him inside the warm house, she took his jacket, gasping when she touched his hand. "Daniel, your hands are like ice! How long were you out there?"

A puzzled frown touched his features as he concentrated. "Umm. Couple of hours maybe. I'm not sure. I drove around for a while, but it was still early and I didn't want to wake you..."

His face went blank as his voice trailed away and she felt a new stab of worry. Shock? Keeping her fears firmly under wraps for the moment, she bundled him into the living room and settled him on the sofa. Within moments he had a cup of heavily sugared tea in his hands. "Drink," she ordered.

He drank almost automatically, and it was only after the second cup that she saw his eyes clear somewhat as he blinked around at his surroundings. She wondered if he even remembered coming into the house.

"Daniel." Her voice was very gentle and he turned to face her. "What's happened?"

He bit his lip and didn't answer immediately. Finally, in a low, harsh voice he replied, "The last few days have been kind of... rough."

"Tell me," she invited, still in that same gentle voice.

The cup in his hands suddenly rattled in its saucer. Carefully, she took the cup from his clenched hands and placed it on the coffee table. He sat staring into the distance, the same empty expression on his face she had seen in the car. Then abruptly he blinked and it was as if a curtain had been lifted. She saw a look in his eyes that spoke of horrors witnessed, of nightmares come to life. Steeling herself for what was to come, she reached out and wrapped a hand around one cold, clenched fist, and waited.

The story came out, haltingly at first, then with more urgency. As he lost himself in the events of the last few days, Catherine was caught up in the maelstrom of his horrific memories.

She listened as he told her about the alternate reality, of the Goa'uld invasion of that Earth, of the deaths of Jack, Samantha, Hammond and herself in that reality, of a Teal'c who tried to kill him, of Daniel's desperate escape back to Earth with the precious Stargate address, of the shutdown of the Stargate Project and SG-1's clandestine mission through the Gate to Daniel's coordinates. And she heard about the killing, the terror, the invasion, Daniel's near fatal wounding, his sarcophagus healing and escape back to SGC, his desperate fear for the lives of his friends, and finally their miraculous victory and reunion.

When he finally stopped speaking, his voice was barely a hoarse whisper, and Catherine's mind was reeling. The Goa'uld invasion had been so close! Daniel and the rest of the team had been in space fighting for their lives and Earth's survival while she had been... what? Pottering around in her garden? It was beyond belief.

And yet she believed him. She believed he had been in that alternate reality, believed there had been another Catherine Langford living another existence, believed Earth had come so close to total annihilation. She had seen it all in his eyes. And she wondered yet again how this young man with his brilliant mind and gentle, questing nature had managed to keep his sanity intact over the last two years with all he had seen and experienced.

"Catherine?" Brought out of her thoughts by Daniel's hesitant question, she squeezed his hand in response. "I'm sorry if I scared you out there, but I just... I had to see you. The other Catherine," his voice faltered, "got me out of there, but when those blast doors went down --"

"It's all right, Daniel. Don't think about it." Useless advice, she knew, as soon as the words left her mouth.

His eyes were squeezed tightly shut. "I'm trying, but I keep seeing it. All of it. Jack and Sam and -- you. And then the ship. Skaara. All that killing. Jack's face when he had to leave me behind. And then not knowing if they were alive or dead --"

"Daniel," she broke in sharply. "Stop it. It's over."

"I know it's over," he whispered, pulling his hand free and pressing his fingers against his temples as if the pressure alone would somehow squash the memories. "But it won't go away."

He was shivering again and she quickly pulled the afghan from the back of the sofa and draped it over his shoulders. "It will in time," she soothed, but knew that could be a very long time indeed. She frowned slightly at his ravaged features, "Daniel, did you get any sleep last night?"

He shrugged. "Not really. Jack, Sam and Teal'c and I sat around in my office for a few hours, you know, just talking." He smiled shakily. "I think we were trying to convince ourselves we were all really still alive. Then everybody kind of drifted off to bed."

"But you couldn't sleep," she guessed.

"I couldn't stop thinking about it." The tremors became more pronounced and he couldn't hide the hint of hysteria in his voice. "It could have happened, Catherine. It still could. I could lose everyone again. Just like in that other reality. Just like I lost my parents and Sha're --"

"Daniel, stop!" Reaching out, she grabbed one of his hands and pressed it tightly between her own. "Listen to me, you are so exhausted you don't have the strength to put these memories behind you where they belong. It's over. You are safe and Jack and Sam and Teal'c are safe, and I'm safe. Earth is safe. That's what you need to focus on, not some 'what if' scenario." Unconsciously, she began rubbing his hand until she felt it begin to unclench. "What you need, Doctor Jackson, is some sleep."

He bit his lip and looked away, as if ashamed. "I don't want to sleep."

"I know." And she did know, she understood all too well about nightmares. "But if you keep on the way you are, you'll collapse, and that won't do anyone any good, will it?" He didn't say anything, but he nodded reluctant agreement. "That's settled then. The guest room is already made up --"

"No, Catherine, really, I can't --"

Catherine sat up straighter, her voice sharp, "Daniel Jackson, after what you've told me, do you seriously think I'm going to just let you walk out of here and drive away to go back to an empty apartment?"

He blinked at her vehemence, then a slow smile creased his tired features. "No, I suppose not."

"You suppose correctly. Now, I'm going to make you a nice, hot breakfast, and after we've gotten some food into you, I'll show you to the guest room and you can get some sleep." Her voice softened as she saw the apprehension on his face. "I'll be here if the nightmares come." A flash of gratitude lit his eyes and she smiled. Giving his hand a final pat, she got to her feet. "I'll just be a few minutes."

When she reached the doorway of the room, she paused and looked back at the young man sitting slumped on her sofa, still lost in his memories of the last few days. He was the young maverick who had unlocked the secrets of the Stargate, the explorer who had reunited her with the love of her life, and now the cherished friend who had just placed himself in her care. She felt a sudden stab of pity for the Catherine of that other reality. Not only had she lost Ernest, but she hadn't had Daniel Jackson in her life, either.

ooOoo

Colonel Jack O'Neill picked up his phone on the first ring and Catherine recognized the edge of tension in his voice as he snapped out his name.

"Jack? It's Catherine Langford."

"Catherine?"

She could hear him draw breath as if to say something, and then hesitate. "He's here, Jack."

The explosion of breath over the phone was unmistakable. "For cryin' out loud! I've been calling his place for the last two hours --" He broke off suddenly and then asked tentatively, "Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes."

"Is he okay?"

She replied to his question with one of her own. "What do you think?"

"I think... I should've kept a closer eye on him last night. We were all kind of high on adrenaline. You know what it's like when you come out of a fire fight --"

"Actually," she interrupted in a brittle voice, "I don't. And neither," she added with emphasis, "does Daniel."

There was a long silence, broken finally by O'Neill's quiet, "Yeah, I know that. I mean, sometimes I forget, but last night I should've remembered."

"He's not one of your soldiers, Jack," Catherine reminded him, a little sharper than she'd intended. "He hasn't been trained to deal with fighting a war and the after-effects. He's a scientist, a scholar." As the one who had originally recruited Daniel for the Stargate Project, she couldn't help feeling a little protective of him, so some of her frustration came out as censure, "He doesn't belong in a fire fight."

"I know that. And when we're under fire we all look out for Daniel," O'Neill replied evenly. "Even when we're not under fire we look out for him. Unfortunately, on this mission Daniel had to be a soldier... and I wasn't there to look out for him."

"Daniel doesn't blame you for that, Jack," she said quickly.

O'Neill continued as if he never heard her, almost as if he were talking to himself. "I couldn't believe it when I saw him last night. I had to leave him behind on that ship. I knew he was dead, but then there he was... and he was alive." She heard him draw in a deep breath, and then he continued in a stronger voice. "So we all sat around in his office for a few hours until we believed we were still alive and -- I swear, Catherine, I thought he was fine. He seemed fine. Sam and Teal'c and I eventually went off to bed, and I just assumed that Daniel..." There was a snort of disgust. "And before you say it, yes, I should know by now you can't assume anything with Danny. I guess it all finally fell in on him after we left."

"When he was alone," Catherine agreed. "Delayed shock. From what he told me, there hadn't been any time up to that point to do much thinking."

She could hear O'Neill muttering to himself. "I should have seen it coming. Damn it, I know him better than that, I should have seen it." Then his tone changed as he seemed to remember he was still on the phone. "I went looking for him this morning and found out he'd left the base at oh-four-hundred. I tried calling his place and when he didn't answer..." There was another brief silence, and then Jack asked, with quiet emphasis, "Is he okay?"

"I finally got him to lie down; I wasn't about to let him drive in the state he was in. He will be okay, Jack, but he shouldn't be alone right now."

"He won't be."

There was a firmness and determination to Jack's tone that made Catherine smile. Yes, this was certainly a different Jack O'Neill from the one she had met when the Stargate was first opened. That O'Neill hadn't needed anyone, so he thought, and had built walls around himself that no one -- again, so he thought -- could get through. She had a pretty good idea what -- or rather, who -- was largely responsible for the change. Daniel had found himself a good and loyal friend, and incidentally, so had Jack.

"I'll put on a fresh pot of tea," she said simply.

She could almost see his grin. "I'm on my way." She started to put down the phone when she heard his voice again. "And Catherine... thanks for being there for him."

She nodded, her thoughts occupied with the bewildered young man upstairs who was struggling to put his memories and anguish behind him. He could do it, of that she was certain, but he couldn't do it alone. "It's your watch now, Colonel," she said softly, then replaced the phone in the cradle and set off to make tea.

*fin*

June 1999