Know Thyself
by
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Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters
are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double
Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment
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Know Thyself
"Catch ya later, Teal'c." Jack nodded to the Jaffa exiting the locker room. Pulling his jacket out of his locker, he shut the door and turned to study the room's one remaining occupant.
Sitting on a bench, Daniel stared vacantly into his open locker. He had been very quiet since their return from Cimmeria. Jack could understand why. To have come so close to a device capable of freeing Sha're from the Goa'uld inhabiting her body, to have lost it immediately upon finding it... Jack had seen his friend's elation and then his despair. It would take time to come to terms with the loss. Maybe he could use some of Jack's time and a sympathetic ear to listen while he talked it out.
"Hey, Daniel." Stepping closer to the younger man, Jack waited for the blue eyes to raise to his. "Whaddya say we blow this pop stand and grab a bite? Maybe have a few brews, catch a game... or we could talk..." He reached out, but the shoulder under his hand hunched and pulled away from his touch, rejecting his attempt at comfort.
"Oh what, now I've passed your test we can go back to being buddy-buddy? Let bygones be bygones, is that it?" The resentful tone was reflected in the eyes flashing behind glass lenses.
Jack was taken aback. He hadn't expected this backlash from the normally easygoing scientist. "What? What are you talking about?"
"You handed me the staff weapon to destroy the hammer, but you weren't really giving me a choice. Don't deny you were testing me."
"Are you saying you made the wrong choice?" Jack's voice was quiet, but alarms were going off inside his head. He'd expected sorrow, regret... but not a change of heart. Daniel couldn't truly be wishing he'd left Teal'c imprisoned in that mountain.
"No, of course not. It was the only choice I could have made."
Jack felt a surge of relief as the alarm bells quieted down. His faith in his teammate had not been misplaced.
"What I'm saying is I don't like the way it went down." Daniel pushed his straggling hair back from his face. "How many tests do I have to pass? How many times do I have to prove myself to be part of this team?"
Jack frowned. "You are part of this team, Daniel. That's not the issue. We had to know..."
Daniel cut him off. "Why? Why me? You never question Teal'c or Sam. You say Teal'c proved himself to you when he saved our lives on Chulak. You haven't doubted him since. You accepted Sam unconditionally after that first mission, too. You've known me longer than either of them, Jack, but I feel like I still have to prove myself every time we go on a new mission. Why? I know your initial opinion of me wasn't high, but I thought I proved myself fighting Ra on Abydos."
"You did, Daniel." Jack's teeth worried his lower lip before he continued, "but that was before the snakeheads took Sha're."
Daniel's smile was bitter. "I see. So now I'm back to square one? What's it gonna take, Jack? How many proofs do you need? How many times until it's enough?"
Jack shook his head. "Daniel, we had to be sure. Being a team means we have to know - not just think, know - what we're willing to lay on the line for each other. We have to know where we stand."
"You picked a hell of a way to find out. Does that mean you got what you need? Now do you know where I stand?"
"Yes." Jack gazed gravely into the stubborn blue eyes. "More to the point, now you know where you stand."
Daniel opened his mouth, then closed it without saying a word. He blinked, as a thoughtful look replaced the hurt and anger in his eyes. "Yeah. I... yeah."
Jack clapped him on the shoulder and this time Daniel didn't shrug him off. "Come on. I can't take this heavy thinking on an empty stomach. Let's get something to eat." Holding his breath, he waited for his teammate's response.
"I don't much feel like going out." Slowly Daniel stood up. "How about getting some take-out and heading over to my place?" He managed a slight smile. "I'll spring for the food if you pick up the beers - it'll be a team effort."
Jack's expression relaxed into a matching smile. "I think I can handle that."