Dear family and friends,

I am finally taking the chance to email - we have been so busy, and I just learned how to use the email in a small Internet center at a nearby hotel here in Baghdad.

Where to begin? I wish you could all be here - it's so different from What we see on TV. As we drove through Baghdad for the first time, all I could think, over and over, was the simple truth that at the heart of it all, this is just a place where people live. Ordinary people, welcoming people. That's it, at the core - and these are the people who will suffer. Baghdad is a sprawling, residential city. Kids tote backpacks to and from school, play soccer on patches of dust along the road, wave at us from the sidewalks. The streets are busy with cars, and the sidewalks are lined with small shops - although most have very few shoppers and many are closed completely. Elderly people, women, and men greet us. Many of the men, I notice especially, walk with prayer beads - one of the prayer traditions of Islam is to recite the 99 names of God. The seeming normalcy of life is a sharp contrast to the anxiety that the people live with, and which we learn when we meet them up close.

Today we went to a maternity hospital run by the Dominican sisters here in Baghdad. Sr. Bushra Gaggi, OP, who runs the hospital, told us that many of the women have been coming to the hospital, begging her to give them Caesarean sections, so that their babies will be born before the bombing begins. She smiled at us and greeted us so graciously - but when she talked about the war, she couldn't hold back tears, and she was very afraid. It is so painful - why don't US citizens know about the ordinary people here in Iraq?

Yesterday, we went to a public hospital - the director told us about all of the effects of the sanctions - and of the devastation that would occur if we have another war. There has been a huge increase in cancer - most likely caused by the depleted uranium in the US bombs used in the Gulf War. (which has also caused thousands of US veterans to become sick). And only one Iraqi hospital in the entire nation has a machine for radiation treatment. All of the other 13-year-old machines have broken down.

Most children and adults with cancer have no hope. So the oil-for-food program is not enough - the hospitals still do not receive enough medicine, equipment, or training, and malnutrition is still an enormous problem- 5 million Iraqi children are malnourished.

We visited the cancer ward, full of children. They sat on beds, four to a room, and their others sat beside them. They welcomed us, tried to smile for pictures, and yet two of the mothers broke down weeping while we were there. I gave them the pictures drawn by the children of St. Joseph parish, and the kids smiled at the many colors. One wall of their hospital ward also had children's drawings - also in bright colors. One was full of butterflies - hard to believe, the contrast of life and death right in front of us.

Today, we visited three bishops. Together, in many ways, they said to us -- We are a peaceful people, we do not want war. Please, tell all the people of faith in the US to pray for us. The war would be a catastrophe for the Iraqi people. Please, tell your people what you see here, what you hear. Tell them the truth. Archbishop Delli of Baghdad said to us, "I was here, in this house, during the last war. And 104 windows were shattered."

All of the parishes, in November, had a day of fasting and prayer for peace. The people are anxious and fearful. They smile and welcome us, and there is a desperate hope that we can make a difference, but already many times I feel helpless to avert this war. And yet many people still speak of hope - and we must hope, and pray, and act.

Please, in whatever way you can, speak out about this. All I can say is that this is an intolerable, horrible situation. We went to a shelter that was bombed in 1991 - 408 innocent women and children killed. Their blood and the outlines of their bodies are still imprinted on the walls. I can't type about it without crying, because it's not just something in the past, it's something that may be about to happen again. A war will only hurt these ordinary people who live here. They are already so beaten down, and war will only make it worse. Since I've come, I feel fear - NOT fear for my personal safety, but fear for the safety of our whole planet. I just don't know what will happen. Preach about it if you can, or write a letter, or make a phone call. I'm starting to realize that we ordinary American people may be the only hope - it's our responsibility to speak out against a war, to seek other means to resolve the conflicts.

Action rooted in prayer. One of our delegates asked Bishop John Sleman, "How do you cope?" He said, "I pray, with open hands." I feel all of your presence here - thank you so much for praying with me, and with these people. I'm sorry to be so anxious, but this is how it feels - there is a great urgency. Together I know we are all praying, and acting to try to incarnate peace in this world, as we await the Prince of Peace. And that is a great grace that can never be taken away. Much love and peace to you all - I will try to keep in touch regularly -

Sheila