By Karen Mahoney, Special to your Catholic Herald

RACINE — It was a hot, sticky mid-summer evening, and as daylight faded, young men and women headed to Jose’s Blue Sombrero Restaurant on Highway 20. They sipped beer or soda while munching on chips and salsa, catching up with each other, as others wandered in.

Sounds of margarita glasses clinking, laughter and Mexican music provided background for the group, who chatted about summer jobs, vacations and the upcoming school year. It seemed to be a typical, lazy, easy summer night for the 20 or so clustered around several long tables.

Not so typical was the reason for the meeting — informal presentations and discussions about Catholicism. Striving for new ways to reach out to people in their 20s and 30s, dozens of Roman Catholic dioceses around the country are offering Theology on Tap — unconventional get-togethers in restaurants and bars.

As the name suggests, the evenings, which originated in Chicago, mix theology with food and beverage, and offer topics such as biblical interpretation and fundamentalism, dating, and the role of young adults in the church.

The free, four-week speaker series was held at various sites throughout the archdiocese. Sessions at Jose’s Blue Sombrero were sponsored by St. Paul the Apostle Church and the Catholic Association of Racine (CARS).

The sessions are designed to educate Catholics and non-Catholics about the faith and to clear up misconceptions about Catholicism, to bring back Catholics who have strayed from the church, and to keep college-age Catholics, who are most susceptible of all age groups to abandon their faith, active in the church, according to organizers.

Racine Dominican Sr. Peg Gabik who attends the gatherings as a representative of CARS, she said she enjoys the interactive sessions. “We have quite a few who come back to attend several sessions,” she said. “And the reaction has been so positive that I hope we can start some sort of follow-up young adult ministry on a regular basis.”

According to presenter, Maureen Kavanaugh, director of youth ministry at St. Vincent Pallotti Parish, Milwaukee, and director of religious education and youth ministry at St. Peter and St. Mary parishes, Port Washington, church officials began Theology on Tap after realizing the need to minister to those in their 20s and 30s.

Presenters are given a choice of pre-selected subjects to cover during the series. Drawing about 20-30 people per week, Kavanaugh said the experience has been positive, with requests for more young adult seminars and activities.

For 25-year-old Mark Debish of Kenosha, the gatherings, which last approximately two hours, are an opportunity to meet new friends and learn more about the faith.

“It’s a lot of fun, too,” he admitted. “I am learning a lot of things I didn’t know. A couple of weeks ago, Fr. Bill Dietzler (pastor of St. Paul, Racine) talked about biblical interpretation and that was really cool.”

Opening the session on 21st Century dating, a recently-engaged Kavanaugh admitted adult dating is often difficult when trying to do so in a faith-filled way.

“Tell me,” she said, addressing the crowd, “What is one of the oddest pick-up lines you have heard.”

A laughing Sarah Daszczuk of Kenosha responded quickly.

“I lost my number — can I have yours?”

Not to be outdone, Tom Debish, 23, of Kenosha said, “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice — what’s your name?” Kavanaugh handed out a questionnaire on the differences between men and women. After several minutes of scribbling, 26-year-old Eric Antrim of Kenosha bragged that he was the first to finish.

“I know women like the back of my hand,” he said, joking, “Get rid of them fast, and run as fast as you can.”

While many answers evoked laughter, the underlying message was the same.

“There isn’t much difference between men and women, is there?” said Kavanaugh. “It is easy to say that men do certain things, or women do certain things, but it really comes down to our individual differences that come from having different backgrounds.”

Healthy dating means being true to God, selves and partners and remaining true to the faith, emphasized Kavanaugh.

“It just makes everything easier,” she said. “And praying about what God wants for you. After all, there is nothing wrong with you if you do not get married. There are times when God calls you to religious life, marriage and even a celibate single life — it is all about what God wants for you.”

Remaining true to oneself when dating is imperative in seeking an honest relationship, because without honesty, the relationship is strained from the beginning, and has less of a chance of surviving during the more difficult times, Kavanaugh said.

“If you try to project yourself by what you think the other person wants to see, your whole relationship is based upon a lie,” she said. “I know people whose political views changed, interests changed, and styles changed — pretty soon, you look at that person and say, ‘Who are you?’”

In cases where the person loses touch with himself or herself, Kavanaugh suggested taking a year off from any dating situation in order to regain a sense of individuality.

“You know it is more fun to meet someone who disagrees sometimes; you learn from each other,” she said. “And being true to God, yourself and your partner includes the dating experience.”\

Keeping an honest, God-centered relationship will help ease one through the rough spots, especially when dealing with marriage, said Sr. Peg, who counsels couples having marital trouble.

“You’d be surprised at how many relationships break up over squeezing the toothpaste tube,” she said. “A simple solution isn’t to stop brushing your teeth, but it might be to buy two tubes, but people don’t see that and divorces happen over just the littlest things.”

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