Jedi Kasumi 15 Jedi Kasumi (A Ranma/Star Wars Crossover) by Jim Robert Bader (Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi & George Lucas, with further inspiration provided by Brandon Kelley & Bill Guiroff) Episode Fifteen: A long, long time ago, In a prefecture not far away, The Tendo Family was under An assault... A Sith Lord whose name is Darth Purge Was feeling Mightily in the urge, to cause Them grief, to which they would give halt... The Jedi Knight they called Trieste Would put the Sith Lord to the test, She taught Kasumi the ways of the Force And passed this on to her sisters in due course... Darth Purge had servants dark and mean Who challenged the Jedi and made a scene, But the Tendos had allies both sharp and keen An Amazon girl and...a Boy...named Ranma... Oh my, my, this here Ranma's a guy Who turns girlish when he's wetted but still one a heck of a guy! He learned the Force both Dark and Light in due time Saying: Don't you clowns dare get in my way! I'm gonna be the best there is someday... (To the tune of: "American Pie" inspired by the adaptation done by Weird Al Yonkavich) Kasumi gave a sharp gasp and sat upright, startling those nearest to her as the mind-mannered Jedi Apprentice had seemed to be sleeping soundly only moments before this. Kasumi turned and looked sharply off to one side as if seeing something that was not visible to the rest, but Trieste sensed the disturbance in her Padawan and turned her own mind towards the same direction, perceiving the disturbance that had awaken Kasumi from her healing trance and oriented around her absent sister. "Akane-chan..." Kasumi murmured in faint worry. "What was that?" her mother asked, "What about Akane?" "She's gone off on her own again to face the Sith," Trieste revealed, "And Shampoo is with her." "Shampoo..." Kasumi murmured, "I...I had a brief sense of a terrible darkness looming over them, and then...I felt as though I were drowning in water...but I...think everything is all right now. It was a crisis point, Sensei..." "Indeed," Trieste concurred, "A crisis that has come and passed without more serious issue. They were lucky...they may not be so lucky the next time." "Where are they?" Kimiko asked, "If Akane's in some kind of trouble..." "No," Trieste said with an odd look in her expression, "I sense that the best thing to do for now would be to remain here and wait until we are needed. Akane is in good hands, my Sister, at least for the present." "I should go to her," Kasumi started to sit upright, "I feel much better now, Sensei..." "Lay still and don't be a bother to us, Kasumi," Trieste instructed, though not unkindly, "Your healing trance may have restored some of your vitality, but you need to replenish the blood you lost before you will be of use to anyone. Trust your sister this one time, I believe that matters will resolve themselves very in a positive direction if we do not interfere prematurely." "Waiting," Kimiko made a noise, "That's one discipline of your training I've never been entirely good at, my Sister." "I know," Trieste agreed, "And if I were a mother I doubtless would feel the same way. It is a hard thing waiting for others to make the next move, but patience is sometimes rewarded with greater fruit than hasty action, and if what I suspect is true, then we have had achieved a great victory this day in our war against the Sith." "Well, that certainly sounds like a positive development to me," said Nodoka as she came into the dojo bearing a tray of refreshments and snacks, "But if Kasumi is to regain full health she'll need to eat something so that her body will have what it needs in the way of sustenance. I dare say the same could be said for the both of you as well. You've both been hovering over the poor girl as if you were maintaining a death watch, and even I can tell that Kasumi will recover her strength in very rapid order." "Thank you, old friend," Kimiko smiled as she accepted some tea and ricecakes, "It's a hard thing to watch your child come back from a battle with injuries, and Kasumi has always been the perfect model of health..." "I fully understand," Nodoka smiled, "I've had my moments with Ranma and Genma over the years...not many lately, and none for the past ten years. To tell you the truth it is nice to be needed by someone after all this time...but Ranma recovers from his injuries much too fast for me to worry." "Indeed," Trieste turned a glance over her shoulder, "I, too, have remarked upon the astonishing resilience of your son. Hard to believe that your husband could have achieved so much...even with one with such great potential..." Ranma was too far out of earshot to hear the shift of conversation turning his way, but he felt his nose itch unexpectedly and scratched it. Sneezing was a rarity for him, so he attached no significance to this anomaly as he turned his focus back towards his present sparring partner, Nabiki. "Are you sure you're ready this time, Ranma-kun?" Nabiki asked, "I don't want to hurt you..." "Yeah, right," Ranma braced himself again, "Just do it to me one more time, Nabiki...I wanna be sure I get this down perfectly." "Very well," Nabiki said as she summoned the Force within her once again, imagining a large wave rising up along the tides of the seashore, then crashing it down again at the spot where Ranma was standing. This time he did not even attempt to dodge her attack, and had Nabiki been looking at him directly her own focus would have wavered out of fear of hurting her prospective iinazuke. The previous times when Ranma had attempted to dodge or avoid her Force attack he had wound up being either knocking on his back or into the wall of the compound, which now bore the striation marks of numerous Ranma-shaped impressions. Now, however, Ranma was concentrating on his own Chi power and using it to fortify himself as he brought both arms forward in a block and braced his footing to take the full brunt of the Force wave as it crashed over him with ponderous fury. This time it was Nabiki who cried out and tumbled backward, staggered at the backlash that had erupted when Force had collided with Force and sent her reeling from the resultant shock that this had created. Ranma heard the girl cry out and saw her fell backward even as the force opposing him lessened. At once he cried out, "Nabiki!" and rushed to her side, kneeling over her to see if she was all right, not having expected her to be harmed by such a maneuver. "Are you okay?" he asked as Nabiki opened her eyes and felt alongside her temples. "I'm...fine...just...wasn't ready for that," she admitted, "What the heck did you do, Ranma?" "Ah...well..." Ranma was torn between glee that his technique had worked and worry over the girl he possibly injured, "Just something that kinda came to me when I was in that last fight, which is why I wanted your help to test it out. I noticed how those Sith guys were hurling the Force around like it was a weapon, but you insist that it shouldn't be used like that because it might rebound back on you, like just happened..." "Yeah...tell me about it," Nabiki groaned faintly, smiling up at him, "So you thought you'd see if you could make that happen?" "Yeah," Ranma said, "I mean...why is it that those Sith guys can use the force so aggressive-like?" "Because the way of the Dark side is fast and quick," Nabiki replied, "And the harm it does to them is easily ignored so long as they maintain focus." "Right," Ranma nodded, "But what if you do something they don't expect, something that breaks that focus?" "Then the power would rebound on them...exactly like what happened to me just now," Nabiki looked up at Ranma with renewed respect, "That's actually brilliant...but...how did you do it?" "Well, there's basically no difference between this Force of yours and a Ki attack, right?" Ranma said, "And I can raise my Ki levels any time I want by just focusing on my battle aura." "Very good," Nabiki sat in a more composed state, "No wonder you wanted my help on this...though I am a little disappointed..." "Disappointed?" Ranma blinked. "I was hoping, maybe, you were starting to warm up to my charms," Nabiki gave him a very minx-like expression, "And you wanted to get me alone all to yourself so you could show me a different kind of technique that I'd love to help you practice." "Hah?" Ranma looked blankly, then all at once he colored without fully knowing the reason. Nabiki found his attitude both delightfully guiless and yet mildly frustrating, knowing it would be a while before she could actually work him up into anything serious. Nevertheless she continued smiling as she said, "The Force is all of Nature that surrounds us...and what you call Ki is the life essence within us all. Learning to tap into the life energy of the rocks, trees, soil, grass and air will make you a stronger person, but it also leaves you open to the subtle currents and changes in your environment. That's why I prefer the Light to the Dark...I feel more alive to walk in the sun and feel the vibrancy of everything, while all a Sith master most probably feels is dark and evil emotions..." "Like Ryoga," Ranma sighed, "I wish I could figure him out, but that Baka is too thick headed and clueless and...what are you looking at me like that for?" "Oh, nothing," Nabiki said sweetly, "It's just...odd hearing you call someone else clueless. Never mind...you'll figure it out soon enough...I hope." "Huh?" Ranma blinked, even more confused than ever. "Never mind," Nabiki leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, startling Ranma completely, "The important thing is that you've got a new weapon you can use the next time you get jumped by a Sith, which ought to greatly level the playing...field..." "Huh?" Ranma said, seeing the sudden shift in the expression of the girl who had just inexplicably kissed him, "What's wrong?" "It's...Akane," Nabiki shook herself out of her daze, "It's weird...but for a few seconds there I thought I saw...something..." "Something?" Ranma asked, "Is she in some kind of trouble?" "Depends on what you mean by trouble, Ranma-kun," Nabiki responded, "And if you knew Akane like I do, you'd definitely know that she's always in some kind of trouble..." Akane coughed out water as she started to revive from nearly drowning, aware that CPR had been applied to her as determined by the pressure she had been feeling to her rib cage, but when she opened up her eyes to see who it was who had giving her resuscitation, what she saw was a face that was partially bestial, looking very cat-like for all the human qualities that distinguished her somewhat fuzzy expression. "Are you okay, Sugar?" the feline---almost Leonine---figure hovering over her asked in a somewhat scratchy voice. "I'm awake!" Akane stammered, coming to full alert with the stunning clarity of being slightly panicked before she could place the face as belonging to Ukyo's cursed form. "That is good," she heard Shampoo remark, "Akane give us much concern...you no tell Shampoo that you have trouble with water." "Hey, it's not like I..." Akane coughed again and spat out more water, "...Like to advertise the fact that I can't swim," she coughed again before resuming, "Ukyo...you helped save me?" "Ah...well..." Ukyo flinched slightly and glanced away, "It was...sort of an impulse...I don't know why I did it...I mean...Shampoo could have managed it by herself, right?" "Yes," Shampoo agreed, "But finding Akane under water would not have been so easy." "Well...just the same, thank you," Akane smiled brightly, "You see? You're not such a bad person after all. You even got wet for me, and I really appreciate that." "Ah..." Ukyo glanced away, and while it was difficult to say with fur covering her skin, one had the distinct impression that she was coloring slightly, "Well...it...was kind of unplanned...I mean...when Taro attacked you like that, I...I don't know what I was doing. I don't anything anymore...it's all so confusing..." "It sounds to this one as if you are having second thoughts as to what cause you serve," Shampoo remarked, "You joined your Master to find and punish Ranma and his father, but without this objective, what have you?" "I...I really don't know, Sugar," Ukyo replied, "I don't feel the same way anymore...something's changed...I thought maybe I was losing my powers, but they're just as strong as they ever were, even if they weren't enough to defeat your sister, Kasumi." "Hey, don't feel bad about that," Akane said, "Nobody but Sensei Trieste could take on Kasumi. That Mousse guy must have tried something underhanded to hurt her as bad as he did, and I'd bet anything if she were fighting at full strength she would have had him over easy." "Is good call," Shampoo observed, "Back in China Mousse once challenge Kasumi and was easily beaten, even when use his special attack, White Crane Fist. At time Mousse profess he want prove Kasumi defeat him using Outsider tricks, but this one thinks he also have big desire for her...maybe even want share Shampoo with Kasumi." "Huh?" Ukyo blinked, "What do you mean by share you?" "In Amazon society strong warriors can have more than one partner," Shampoo explained, "Two or more warriors can share same man, up to four in family group, though more allowed under special arrangements. One warrior no can have two men for husband, is only women who share men..." "Wait...slow down there," Akane pleaded, "Explain that again about having more than one girl share the same guy?" "Sounds pretty perverted to me," Ukyo groused, "And just about what I'd expect of that Jackass. Mousse was always talking about you, and when he got around to describing Kasumi he made her sound like some sort of goddess. Weird thing, though...last time they met he was trying pretty hard to kill her..." "Is strange," Shampoo remarked, "Mousse have violet temper, often beat up men who try and talk to this one, but never kill them. This one can no recall a time when he hated someone enough to do that, except maybe when he fight with this one's little brother..." "Little brother?" Ukyo blinked. "She means Ranma," Akane explained, "Shampoo adopted him into her family when they met back in her village." "Adopted him?" Ukyo blinked again, then her eyes narrowed, "You mean you call him your little brother, and you don't mean anything more than that?" "This one would lie if she did not admit that she finds Ranma a very attractive young man," Shampoo replied, "But Shampoo is not seeking a husband just now. She is quite content with...other arrangements." "Yeah?" Ukyo remained skeptical on that point, "In other words you'd rather screw her than him?" she indicated Akane. "Oh yes," Shampoo agreed with a bright smile, "Akane is...a very interesting Outsider girl, even for the sister to my Oath sister, more so even than Ranma. When this one met her little brother she thought of her as a little sister until she learned the truth of his visit to Jusenkyo..." "Hey, enough about him already," Akane turned and gave Ukyo a broader smile, "You saved my life, Ukyo...and no matter what reason you had for doing it, I'm very grateful. I know this means you can't go back to Darth Purge because he'd probably punish you for doing that, but it proves what I've believed about you all along..." "Yeah?" Ukyo's feline features shifted to a more wary caution, "And just what is that...Sugar?" "That deep down you are a very nice person," Akane replied. "Nice?" Ukyo recoiled from that, "Do you have any idea what I've done during my training with my Master?" "I'm sure you'll tell me all about it when you feel like it," Akane replied, "But it really doesn't matter since you're not the same person you were when I first met you." "Wait," Ukyo blinked, "That doesn't make sense. How do you know what kind of a person I am...?" "I can feel you, Silly," Akane chuckled, "You dark side types like to hide your feelings, but when I'm this close to you I can tell that you're not really evil, or you'd never have helped me out here." "By the way, Akane," Shampoo said as she handed something over to the Tendo girl, "This one recovered your belt during the excitement. It would be better for you to tie it until we find a place to change into dry clothing." "Ah...yeah...good point that," Ukyo said as she looked down at herself in disgust, "You got it easy with that silk pantsuit of yours...it should dry quick, but us..." "Oh, don't worry too much about that," Akane assured them, "I know just where we can go to warm up and get changed, if you guys will follow my lead...what?" "I'm just wondering," Ukyo frowned even more, "Why are you guys being nice to me? Doesn't even a little bit upset you what I look like in my cursed form?" "Upset me?" Akane blinked, "Um...well...I was kind of...freaked for a few seconds there, but now that I've got a better look at you, I think you're kind of cute that way." "Cute?" Ukyo reacted as if she had been slapped. "This one agrees," Shampoo instantly chimed, "For one who bears the curse of Jusenkyo, being a Cat-girl is no so bad as maybe winding up as something not human." "Yeah," Akane nodded, "Like that Ryoga-guy...talk about freaky!" "Ah...yeah, I suppose I could sort of see it like that," Ukyo reluctantly conceded, "Pig-boy does look like something out of Beauty and the Beast when he's like that, but compared to Taro he's a real sweetheart." "Speaking of which," Akane turned to glance back at what remained of the bridge, seen a half a block in the distance, "What happened to horn-head...and that guy he was fighting?" "You mean perverted little man who take liberties with us?" Shampoo replied, "They fight move elsewhere, forget we even land in water." "Heh, that figures," Ukyo said bitterly, flattening her cat-like ears in evidence of her displeasure, "Taro's got a one-track mind when it comes to hunting his quarry...and what's the story with the old man? He seemed to know you, Akane." "Honestly, I don't know anything about him," Akane replied, "But he seems to know my father...even claims he was his teacher, if you can believe that." "Akane have pervert for Elder of clan?" Shampoo marveled. "Heh...not much of a stretch," Ukyo muttered under her breath, "So...you really don't know that Happosai guy?" "Honestly," Akane assured them, "You think I'd hang around with somebody who fondles up women without asking?" Ukyo and Shampoo exchanged looks but refrained from commenting on that subject. "You guys," Akane frowned, "C'mon...let's go find Doctor Tofu's clinic and then we can sort it all out..." "Tofu-Sensei?" Shampoo suddenly straightened out, "N-Nice man who treat little Brother Ranma?" "Huh?" Ukyo was surprised at the sudden shift in the mood and emotions of the purple haired girl beside her, "You telling me some guy you just met...?" "Why don't you wait until you meet him," Akane urged, "Everybody likes Doctor Tofu, and you'll see why as soon as you meet him." Ukyo was dubious about that point and wondered how she had wound up in the company of a couple of perverts like this Chinese girl and a weird person like Akane. Things really had taken a turn for the strange in her life, but whatever happened next Ukyo was determined to stay alive and to find her center again...even if her new companions were even stranger than the ones she had trained with under her Master, who doubtlessly would be very disappointed to find his chief apprentice grown soft in the time since she had lost her fight with Kasumi and Ranma... Darth Purge was greatly concerned with the recent developments that had been taking place in the lives of his various charges. Most disturbing was the change he sensed in Ukyo, who---until now---had been his finest pupil and most trusted right-hand agent. He had been proud of the girl and what she had accomplished in the few short years of her apprenticeship, and had it not been for that one element of doubt that had kept her from giving herself completely to the Dark side she would have been the perfect Sith Padawan. Certainly more talented than the clueless likes of Mousse and Ryoga, though Taro himself might well have given her competition with a bit more training on both of their parts. So why was it that his nearly perfect weapon was now failing him badly when he was most in need of her services? And for what? A punk boy who had abandoned and betrayed her, and who now had other women in his life besides Kuonji? Purge would be the first to admit that he did not truly understand the human psyche, let alone the strange mating urges that seemed to govern their every waking hour of their existence. Reptiles had more sensible instincts when it came to procreation...they only did it in the right time and season, and then largely in a perfunctory way that consisted of fertilizing the female so that she could drop her eggs sometime later. The didn't complicate things the way human did with ritual, custom and tradition...if a male wanted a female he made his petition known, then he either forced the female to submit or was fought off by a more aggressive male. By no means did they allow the female to dictate terms and policy or gain any illusion of who was in charge in a sexual encounter, and when the business was finally over with the males only hung around to protect the female, and then only if it was his choice to defend his own young. Not for them was there any maudlin sentimentality disguising their lust in the form of any romantic claptrap. So why was it so important to these ape-like females that they should have to fight it out over a boy when it was perfectly well within the capacity of a healthy adult male to fertilize all of them in their given time and season? This Ranma ought to be able to service the needs of all the females who professed to find him an adequate breeding companion. Why needlessly complicate matters by seeking a more permanent---and exclusive---alliance with him, such as the dual engagements that the boy owed to the houses of Tendo and Kuonji? Having agreed to let a son sire a child on a capable female was the sort of contract obligation that Purge could only find baffling even after years of contemplation on that subject. Having desires for revenge based on the reneging of such a promise...that was something different. Purge well understood what betrayal felt like and how the desire for revenge could consume one's every waking hour. It had been such desires which drove him to the Dark side in the first place, when he'd taken up his apprenticeship under his Master and gave himself completely over to the ways of the Sith. In a way he had felt an odd kinship with Ukyo for her having been in a similar situation, and he had been much impressed with the degree to which this desire for retribution had contributed to the intensity of her training. Only why was she preparing to throw it all away now when she was so close to fulfilling her objectives? All right...say she had decided that Ranma was not truly the one to betray her. Purge had long suspected that it was the older Sire, Genma, who was blame for the breaking of the contract that he himself had entered into with the late senior Kuonji. The meant that she was now considering Ranma as a capable breeding partner, one who could produce healthy and strong offspring, so perhaps she was unconsciously seeking to obtain his consent in the matter. The girl was certainly clever enough that she might disguise her real intentions in order to get her prey to drop his guard so that they could mate successfully, and only after this show her true colors like a Black Widow spider. But...try and he might...Purge could not convince himself that this was the case in the matter. Ukyo's desire to change seemed manifestly genuine, which meant that there were other issues driving her away from her Sith training and over to the Jedi. And if that was the case...then she would become a potential enemy, one that Purge would reluctantly be forced to eliminate before she grew powerful enough to present a legitimate challenge. Purge had long ago reconciled himself to the knowledge that he was alone upon this weird planet full of ape-descended creatures. There was no female of his species with whom he could mate, nor was he genetically compatible for breeding with a human, and thus he did not expect to have any progeny of his own during his time upon this backwards planet. Only if he could somehow conquer the world and then by some means contact the Empire would he have any prospects of going back to where he belonged, and even then his services would no doubt be called upon to keep him busy doing the Emperor's dirty work, so the time to find a mate would no doubt slip him by without even being noticed or regretted. But Ukyo was special to him for reasons that he could not himself have described. She had fire and spirit unlike the other female of Purge's acquaintance, and while he would have denied any emotional attachments to the young Terran female, still he would be loath to deny that there was a certain...something about her to which he found himself increasingly drawn. After all, he had a lot of training invested in the girl, and he was not about to throw it all away while he could still make use of her abilities, which was infinitely preferable to having to rely upon a greedy, ambitious scum like Pantyhose Taro. Now there was an apprentice to make any Sith lord shudder. The boy had great potential all right, and great capacity for cruelty, treachery and self-serving underhandedness. The boy could well learn to be a master of the Dark side, in which case Purge would have to watch his backside very carefully to make sure that nothing wound up planted there by mischance. With Ukyo there was little threat of her turning against her Master, but with Taro? Nothing was for certain...unless of course you understood the peculiar obsessions that were guiding his life, not least of which was his odd disdain for the birth-name which he had been given. Why choose to wear such a ridiculous moniker if he hated the name and what it did to his self-image? Why not elect to call himself by a different name, one not related to a woman's undergarment. There was no fathoming the boy's twisted sense of priorities, and that made him all the more unpredictable and dangerous. In fact, Purge was even considering ridding himself of the annoying cur, once he had outlived his usefulness, if only he could find a sufficiently painful method that would be altogether effective... The line of Purge's reasoning came to a rude, abrupt halt as he sensed the approach of his nominal understudy, but there was something off about Taro's aura that seemed most puzzling to Purge. In fact, if he did not know any better... All at once Taro stumbled into camp in beast form and literally went crashing down at the edge of the campfire. To Purge's amazement the bull-headed cursed form of the Monstrous Taro was out like the proverbial light bulb, as though he had suffered some sort of major trauma the like of which even Purge might find particularly daunting. But who could have done this to the inhumanly powerful creature? None of the Jedi possessed such prowess, which meant that it had to be someone or something else, but what...? "He'll be all right, once he takes a nap," said a little man who hopped off of Taro's back onto a nearby rock, "The boy just got a little too rambunctious back there, and he thought he was a lot tougher than he is. Still needs a bit more seasoning before he can give me a decent workout." Purge stared at the incredibly ancient looking withered old human and said, "Who...?" "The name's Happosai," the old man replied, "And you must be the guy who showed Pantsaru those special moves and Ki- techniques that he was using during our little roughhousing session. I also understand that you've been making trouble for the Tendos, which is why I'm here, to get to the bottom of whatever it is you're up to, tall, dark and scaly." "Happosai," Purge's expression remained just this shy of being neutral, "I have heard the name before...you are the one who gave...Pantsaru...his peculiar name, yes?" "The one and the same," Happosai answered, "So, what do they call you, and what makes you so special, other than that nasty skin rash you've got there?" "I am called Darth Purge," Purge responded as he stood up to his full height, "I am a Sith Lord, and a Master..." "Master, huh?" Happosai sniffed, "Well, why don't we see about that? I could use some exercise, and you look like you won't be that much of a pushover." "I assure you, I am not," Purge replied as he drew his lightsaber and activated the dark energy beam that was projected by his chosen weapon. "A weapon, huh?" Happosai sniffed, "Don't have much use for those myself. Relying on a weapon just slows you down and makes you careless...WHOOPS!!" he yelped as he vaulted from the rock just seconds before the lightsaber slashed down and reduced it to a pile of mismatched gravel. "Shall we test that theory?" Purge remarked as he held his lightsaber at the ready. Happosai eyed the smoking fragments of the boulder then narrowed his eyes and said, "Suit yourself, but I'm warning you, you're making a mistake." "Then it will be the last one as far as you are concerned," Purge assured him as he prepared to renew his attack. "We'll just see about that, won't we?" Happosai mused softly, and then the fight was on, Sith Lord versus perverted Martial Arts master with the fates of their respective charges looming in the distance... "Does something disturb you, Saotome?" Soun asked as he looked up from their usual game of Shogi. "I don't know, Tendo," Genma replied, "It was just a feeling I had...like someone walking over our graves..." "Oh yes, I do know that feeling well," Soun noted as he carefully rearranged several piece, "I've been having that feeling for the past few days now...as if not all were right within the district of Nerima..." "It isn't the troubles we've had with those Sith that worries me," Genma said as he turned back and immediately noticed that something was wrong with the set up on the Shogi board. "Oh no?" Soun asked as much to distract his old friend as to voice legitimate concerns, "Such as?" "It's just a feeling I've had all day long," Genma frowned as he considered how to turn the game back to his advantage, "Like someone whom we both know has come back from the dead to trouble us now in our time of OOOFFF?!?" "Don't say that, Man!" Soun declared as he clapped both hands over the mouth of his dearest friend, "Just mentioning his name might be enough to arouse his wrath! In the name of all sanity, don't say it!" "Whatever are you two talking about?" asked Kimiko as she happened by just then. "Oh, nothing, Dear," Soun affected an innocent expression, "Saotome was just making a very poor attempt at a joke and..." All at once there was a crashing noise from inside the dojo, startling everyone until they heard Nodoka say, "Now that is odd...why did that shelf just fall down all of a sudden?" "Shelf?" Genma asked as Soun automatically took his hands away, "You don't think...?" "It was probably just the wind," Soun remarked rather nervously, "No need to think of it as an omen or..." "What are you two going on about now?" Kimiko asked with growing irritation, "Honestly, you two act sometimes like little boys hiding a grave secret. What has you two spooked so much this time?" "Oh, it's probably nothing, Dearest," Soun attempted to reassure her, "Just an old memory better left dead and buried." "At least we hope it is," Genma added, only to yelp as Soun grabbed him by the ear and yanked firmly. "Is there a problem here?" Trieste asked as she appeared from the dojo, having sensed the peculiar disturbance being kicked up by the emotions of the two men, which necessarily coincided with her own uneasy feelings. "That's what I would like to know," Kimiko frowned, "What are you hiding, Husband?" "Hiding?" Soun affected as much of an innocent expression as he had within him at the moment. "Not a bad idea, I think I'll do just that," Genma started to stand up, only to be yanked down rudely by Soun for his troubles. "You are not going anywhere without me, Saotome," Soun growled in a low-voiced menace. "Now I am intrigued," Trieste remarked, "Just who is it that you're afraid is going to show up here...and don't say the Sith because I can tell that your minds are not being aimed towards that particular group of rowdies." "You're...better off not knowing," Genma bowed his head, "If what we fear is right, then the Sith will be the least of our worries." Kimiko blinked then glanced at Trieste, "Are they making any more sense to you than to me, Sister?" "I was going to ask you that first," Trieste replied, "I seem to sense that a figure from your past is shadowing your present...some you thought to leave dead and buried, from the time just before I came to live with you, Soun- chan. Who is it, who has inspired such total and abject fear in you? Who do you fear so much that you dread even saying his name aloud?" The two men exchanged looks but remained silent...right up until the point when Nodoka answered for them by saying, "Master Happosai, it has to be him." "Master Happosai?" Kimiko looked startled, "You're not serious...!" "Who is Master Happosai?" Trieste inquired, seeing the two men cower in dread of the name and wondering just what might have inspired this. "The Sensei who taught my husband and Tendo-san the Anything Goes Ryu, of course," Nodoka replied pleasantly, "He's a dear sweet man who hasn't been around in over a decade, and---as you say---he vanished just before you arrived and my husband took his ten year training mission." "He's also a disgusting, annoying little pervert," Kimiko growled less happily, "The kind of dirty old man who puts other Echi to shame. You're fortunate never to have encountered him, my Sister...he's the sort who can't keep his hands off female anatomy and who dearly loves to steal our undergarments..." "That does sound...very odd," Trieste admitted, "But why are your husbands so terrified about meeting him again?" "Because we buried him in a cave beneath a stone and--- MMMPH!" Genma had started to say when Soun once again clamped a hand over his mouth. "Excuse me?" Trieste arched an eyebrow. "Husband?" Kimiko arched an ominous eyebrow. "We gave our Master a sending off party years ago to...um...wish him the best of health and a long life," Soun explained, "And since the Master tends to overindulge on such occasions we were obligated to carry him off to seek shelter in a cave..." "After which we sealed it up after leveling the mouth with explosives," Genma added in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "Saotome!" Soun looked shocked. "They're not buying it, Tendo, look," Genma nodded to the skeptical expressions on the faces of at least two of the ladies present, the third being Nodoka, whom---it should be noted---was presently carrying her family katana, "We might as well tell them everything...they're going to find out one way or the other." "Um..." Soun also noticed the way his own wife was folding her arms and looking at him crossly, "I see your point..." "I am not sure if I am understanding this right," Trieste remarked, "You sealed him up in a cave with explosives?" "So what is he now, a ghost?" Kimiko asked. "We should all be so lucky," Genma declared with a fatalistic expression, "The truth is...we're not sure if even that could finish off the Master..." "He's not human, you see," Soun explained, "And if he survived being trapped within that cave, then he will definitely be angry." "I should think so," Nodoka remarked, "If someone had trapped me in a cave for that long a time I know that I would be a little cross about it." "But how could anyone survive for ten years inside of a cave?" Trieste asked in growing confusion. "Trust us, Sister," Kimiko replied, "If anyone could pull it off, it's him, and if Master Happosai really is alive...then he could be more trouble for us than a house full of Sith Lords." To which Trieste could only blink her eyes, then voice one of her Padawan's favorite expressions, "Oh my..." Kasumi, who was laying in the dojo in a healing trance and thus unable to speak aloud her thoughts on the matter, had a brief image flash through her head of a dark and sinister figure whose gnome-like shape belied the sense of menace that he radiated, and without knowing quite why she shuddered slightly, knowing that this image would have large implications for the future of both the Jedi and House Tendo. Instinctively she sought out with her mind to feel the presence of her sisters and found that neither Nabiki nor Akane was all that near to hand, and in wondering why this is she had a brief impression of Ranma and Nabiki running along rooftops somewhere while Akane and two others were in Doctor Tofu's office. She tried to focus on who the light and dark forms were presently flanking her youngest sister and got the impression that the former was Shampoo while the latter... Was Ukyo Kuonji. The vision left her even more confused than ever, but Kasumi knew that things were happening all around her and that she needed to heal back her strength in order to meet these new challenges, knowing that to fail would be to court disaster. Whoever this strange character was that her parents were discussing in such low whispers, Kasumi knew that trouble was definitely in the offing, and even one well versed in the ways of the Force might not be equipped to handle the sorts of challenges that were in the offing, but that she would stand firm by her teachings no matter what would happen. She was not completely there just yet, but soon...very soon...she would arise once again to do battle with the Sith, and if this Happosai person should pose a different kind of threat, then it would be one more hurdle to surmount in her quest to become a Jedi Knight, and for that purpose---as well as others---Kasumi would stand ready. Now if only she could comprehend why, in making this resolve, that her vision suddenly filled with the image of a floating cloud composed entirely of women's bras and panties... Continued. Comments/Criticisms/Cloud Mining: shadowmane@ridgenet.net Darth Purge versus Happosai while Ranma and Nabiki play witness to the ensuing mischief. Akane introduces Ukyo to their friendly family doctor, but is it Shampoo who needs to have her pulse checked? And how do the men of the house explain themselves to their disapproving ladies, let alone make it up to them for bringing a scourge like Happosai into their house? All this and a certain village Elder puts in a long-awaited visit in, "Silk Storm Surprise," or, "Happalong Happosai!" Be there! X