Jedi Kasumi21 Jedi Kasumi (A Ranma/Star Wars Crossover) by Jim Robert Bader (Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi & George Lucas, with further inspiration provided by Brandon Kelley & Bill Guiroff) Episode Twenty-One. (Legal Drinking Age Limit, Under Seventeen Not Admitted) Dark Lord's Revival Having encountered a new challenge in the form of the mysterious Teacher-disciplinarian known as Hinako Ninamiya, Ranma and Kasumi return home from their two- day training mission, little suspecting the new wealth of troubles that will shortly be awaiting their return to the Tendo dojo... Ukyo Kuonji and Ryoga Hibiki, however, are just settling in to their new life helping out at the restaurant that has been set up by Shampoo's great-grandmother, the mysterious Amazon Elder known only as Cologne of the Joketsuzoku. However, while performing a simple task, Ryoga appears to have gotten lost once again, which has somewhat distressed Ukyo and her two amorous suitors, the Force Master Adepts named Akane and Shampoo... Meanwhile, Darth Purge, having set his sights on the youth named Tatewaki Kuno, seeks out the young Kendoist with the intent of recruiting him over to the Dark side of the Force... The growing sense that he was being followed caused Tatewaki to frown with concern in his expression. In no other way did he give hint that he knew that he was being stalked by an unknown party, but the Samurai that was in his blood caused his senses to go on full alert as he approached his ancestral manner, knowing at any second that his unknown foe would make their presence known very shortly. "You have good instincts, Kuno-san," a gravely voice remarked from directly ahead of his position, "I see that I was right about you." Kuno halted in place and faced directly ahead with his head lowered in stern concentration. "Show yourself," Kuno spoke aloud, "Who dares approach Kuno Tatewaki?" "I dare," Darth Purge said as he revealed himself, seeming to step out of empty air into full view where there had not been the least hint of his former position, "You know me, of course..." "I remember you," Kuno bristled slightly, "You come like a thief to present yourself to me now, but you will not find Kuno Tatewaki unprepared for an altercation." "I am pleased to hear this," Purge hissed in dark humor, "I saw your performance in front of my former apprentice. It would seem that you gave her cause to take quarrel with you, but out of mercy she refrained from demanding your head in atonement for your actions." "I see," Kuno's eyes narrowed, "And you think her act of mercy was a weakness?" "A truth Sith would never be so forgiving for a wrong done to them," Purge replied, "Disappointment she may be, but Ukyo was my student and I raised her myself for the past decade. An insult done to her is an insult done to the Sith..." "And you have come to collect on that debt?" Kuno squared his footing, "Normally I would apologize to you for the insult that I unintentionally rendered, but whereas I respected Kuonji and sought her forgiveness, I do not have cause to similarly respect you, nor do I feel inclined to apologize to the one who seeks to harm my true love, Kasumi." "You speak as if the woman were yours to possess, but we both know that this is not the case, Kuno-san," Purge softly hissed, "You fancy yourself a warrior, let us put that claim to the test." "You mean your puny flashlight against my blade?" Kuno smiled. "It would not be a fair fight, or near as enjoyable for me, if I were to task you with a lightsaber," Purge replied, producing a bokken from seeming nowhere, "I believe that a duel with your own preferred weapon would be a more interesting, don't you agree?" "It is gratifying to learn that you do possess a semblance of honor," Kuno said as he drew his own bokken and stood at the ready, "But you will discover that I am more than you can hope to defeat in a fair match at arms." "We will see about that," Purge hissed, "Have at you!" And with that the massive lizard man leaped to the attack as Kuno responded with his wooden sword already in motion... "I wonder if Mom's gonna help out with the cooking," Ranma mused, "I'm starving." "You are always hungry in one way or another, Ranma-kun," Kasumi noted with amusement as they approached her family estate, "If it's not food it is knowledge that you hunger for, and new ways of mastering the art, I have noticed." "Heh, yeah, well..." Ranma replied a bit sheepishly, "If it ain't one it's the other with me. Been like that all the while that Pop and me were training together, and I guess old habits are hard to break..." "You have come far and made much progress in your studies, Ranma-kun," Kasumi observed, "But sooner or later you will learn that there is more to life than merely feeding the body. There is the food we take in to feed the soul that truly enriches us, and in that capacity...I regret to say that your father most probably will never understand this."" "Yeah, Ranma admitted sadly, "Afraid your right about that, Kasumi. With the Old Man it's always his stomach first and everything else second, including the art. I still can't get over the way he's sold me out over and over again just to feed his fat belly. Like...don't the fact that I'm his son mean anything to him?" "Your father does take pride in you, Ranma-kun," Kasumi noted, "And justly so. You are everything he ever set out to accomplish in the martial arts and more...in fact, you have surpassed him in so many ways that it is doubtful that he has that much more to teach you." "Probably not considering he don't know any of the stuff that you've been showing me, Kasumi," Ranma said as he regarded his lovely companion with a sidelong glance and tried not to be too obvious that he was noticing her in a way that less like a student then as a young man might study the profile of any beautiful woman, "I wanna thank you for taking me out and showing me this stuff. I never knew how far I had to go to get better in a fight, but you sure surprised me a lot today, so...um...thanks..." Despite herself Kasumi felt a thrill of emotion wash through her at both the compliment and the more overt interest that her iinazuke was displaying towards her. She had to own up to the fact that she had been more than passingly aware of his company the whole time that they had been descending from their campsite in the mountains and that the more time she spent around him the less certain she became of her own emotions. Her feelings had such intensity whenever she was near him, and she had caught herself more than once contemplating the idea of teaching him a lot more than simply about her Jedi training. "It has been my...sincerest pleasure...to assist you, Ranma-kun," Kasumi carefully responded, "You are a very adept student, even more alert and adept than Shampoo, and I am amazed at the progress that you are making the more your practice the Force. I have every confidence that you will continue to improve, in fact...oh my!" "Huh?" Ranma sensed the sudden shift in the older girl's attention from him towards another source, and as he looked further down the street where they were walking he discovered the reason, and with a start of his own he said, "Hey...what's that car doing in front of your house? Man...that thing is huge!" "I believe it is called a stretch limousine, Ranma-kun," Kasumi remarked, "But why is it there? Are we having visitors over tonight?" "Not unless they're royalty or something," Ranma frowned slightly, "Or maybe it's that guy, Kuno, coming over to bug you again." Kasumi sighed, "I certainly hope that it is nothing like that. Tatewaki is a very nice boy...most of the time...but his interest in me...I'm afraid I...do not share it..." "Hey, if he tries to bother you just leave him to me," Ranma scowled, "I'll pound that poetry-spouting fool into next week, especially after what I heard he tried to pull with Ucchan..." "Oh my, that did sound rather extreme even for him..." Kasumi started to say when a sound off to their right distracted them both. "Meow?" "GAH!!!" Ranma started, seeing a dreaded alleycat popping up from a nearby alley, and without pausing to think of what he was doing he all but jumped into Kasumi's arms, hugging her tightly in spontaneous terror. "Oh my!" Kasumi exclaimed again, not having braced herself for such an intimate gesture, even granted that she could make allowances for Ranma's peculiar...condition. Being closely held by the quivering boy sent a wholly unexpected shiver up her spine and caused her cheeks to flush crimson as she became totally aware of her fiancée's young and virile body pressed close to her own, as well as the sense of absolute need for such closeness. For several minutes nothing else seemed to be happened in the entire world, for everything else was frozen in a timestop while Kasumi felt the beating of her heart quicken to twice her normal pulserate, and in that moment she became completely open to everything that there was to know about her iinazuke...his history, his thoughts, his past, his present and some vague glimpses of the future. She sensed her own existence in his future, found herself visualizing the two of them engaged in the most intimate and affectionate embraces as they each explored the other's body, and with that warming sense of a connection that only true lovers can know as their spirits touch and they become as one in soul and body, each an extension of the others existence. She knew the aroma of his body, the trace-lines of long-healed scars that were both internal and external, the power and potential that he represented, and the hope of a new life, a new future that was beckoning with a look of total invitation... For Ranma the experience was one of coming down from a terrified state into the welcome embrace of the tall girl who was holding him with a gentle strength that felt as comforting as the arms of a mother. He was suddenly and completely aware of her and the slender wand of feminine mystery that she represented by her very existence. He marveled that she could feel so fragile and yet so powerful, that there was so much warmth and life coursing through her body, and that she felt more real to him than flesh and blood alone. Her scent was the perfume of wildflowers and honeysuckle, from the silken softness of her hair to the press of her flawless cheek against his own and the sense that he could utterly trust her, that she would never let him down or betray him, never fail his trust and would never turn away in disdain for his many weaknesses. For her he did not need the illusion of strength that he tried to hard to project around others, for her he could be a child and never fear for rejection. With that in mind his Nekophobia melted away the morning dew, leaving him conscious only of her body in his arms, of holding her close while his shudders subsided and he started to feel normal again...only not quite normal as there was something wrong with him...his pulse was racing and a different kind of fear had replaced his former terror... And suddenly he became aware of a potential future with the two of them together, embracing each other with no clothing on either of their bodies. Her touch was like fire burning him with ice and molten lava, and her flesh felt surprisingly soft and supple, so thin and graceful yet so strong even in yielding, and as they kissed each other everywhere in the most intimate of places he felt a need to possess her that was a far stronger urge than any physical hunger that he had ever experienced before in his life... For a moment the drift of these thoughts halted in both of them as the two of them locked eyes together, Kasumi looking wonderingly at Ranma, Ranma looking back with absolute amazement. No words were spoken as they continued to stare as though never having truly looked at one another before, but then this quiet tableau was broken by the clearing of a throat. With a guilty start they both turned to see Nabiki standing off slightly to one side with her arms folded over her chess and a very cross expression written plain on her lovely features. "Enjoy your training time, you two?" "Huh---ah..." Ranma hastily let Kasumi go, who stood where she was feeling somewhat bewildered at the shifting focus of her mind, then turned a guilty look towards her younger sister. "N-Nabiki..." she ventured. "We need to talk, Sis," Nabiki's tone was flinty, "We have company, in case you failed to notice." "Um..." Ranma felt the oddest need to apologize, but he did not know what for as he swallowed and said, "N-Nuh...an...Nabiki?" "You're gonna have to work on your cat-phobia, Ranma-kun," Nabiki growled, "I could feel the jolt you sent all the way across the yard, which is how I knew I'd find you here clinging to Kasumi's apron. I'd make an issue of it right now except that we got trouble...so tell me, you ever hear of some guy named Daikoku?" "Daikoku?" Ranma repeated, "Who the heck is that?" "That is what I thought," Nabiki nodded without a change of expression, "And it's why I'm too angry at your Dad to be upset with you two. I've got so much of a ration of disgust to wallow in at one time, and your Dad's hogged my daily quota..." "What?" Ranma blinked, "What...what the hell as that Old Man done this time...?" "Oy, is that the Saotome boy I hear?" a jovial male voice called out as a heavyset figure appeared at the gates of the Tendo compound, "Hey, Ranma, my son! It's you at last..." "Hah?" Ranma blinked, "Say what...?" "Come here, my Boy!" the burly man with the impossibly large ears threw his arms around Ranma as Nabiki and Kasumi hastily moved back to escape his reach, hugging Ranma closely while the pigtailed boy tried to make sense of this bizarrely dressed stranger holding him tightly enough to threaten his ribcage. "Guh---lemme go!" Ranma urged, "I can't breathe..." "Ranma dear?" his mother called out, causing heads to turn towards Nodoka...and the white-clad figure treading meekly beside her. "Huh?" Ranma gasped as the burly man released him, "What...what's up, Mom?" "This gentleman has brought over yet another fiancée for you, Son," Nodoka replied brightly, "And isn't she a beautiful? Her name is Daikoku Kaori." There was a very brief pause before Kasumi and Ranma said together, "FIANCEE...???" "Thanks for walking back with me to my place, guys," Akane cheerfully remarked as she sent coy looks to her two companions, "What a waste of time that was trying to hunt down that Ryoga..." "You said it, Sugar," Ukyo replied, "He's nothing but trouble...but still...he stuck by me this long, and I guess I do kinda worry a bit when he gets lost in the darndest places..." "This one is certain that he is not anywhere in Nerima," Shampoo added, "It hard to sense those who walk in path of Dark side, but him boy who leave trail that blind Musk warrior could follow, or Mousse without his glasses..." "Yeah, and he's so sensitive too," Akane complained, "And takes everything so literally..." "You get used to that after a while," Ukyo shrugged, "One thing you can say about Ryoga, he's pretty reliable in a predictable, manic-depressive sort of way. As long as you don't give him a job too complicated---which means anything requiring a sense of directions---he'll carry it out to the letter come hell or high water." "Is useful for soldier but no good for warrior," Shampoo remarked, "No be able to think beyond fighting. Need more than this to make good husband." "Yeah," Akane agreed, "I'd sure feel sorry for the girl who winds up becoming his girlfriend," then she smiled at Ukyo and said, "So...do you like him?" "What?" Ukyo reacted. "Does Spatula Girl like clueless Lost Boy," Shampoo clarified, "Is simple enough question." "Yeah," Akane said, "And if you ask me, he looks like he's awfully sweet on you, Ucchan. He's a lot nicer with you than he is with anybody else so far..." "Is almost like he want secretly be Ukyo's boyfriend," Shampoo added with a coy insinuation. "Cut it out you two," Ukyo winced, "We're just...uh...well...friends, that's all...I mean...we trained together..." "And that's a good reason for him to think you're kind of special, Ucchan," Akane pointed out, "And after all, you are kinda nice towards him, so can you blame the guy if he possibly likes you?" "You're imagining things!" Ukyo protested, "And---anyway---why do either of you care?" "Huh?" Akane blinked. "What mean you that?" Shampoo wondered. "You know full well what I mean," Ukyo growled at her two companions, "Just because you've both had your way with me do you think that means you know me? And now that you've had your fun..." "You think we're tired of you already?" Akane shot back, "Do you really think we're that shallow?" "Aiyaa..." Shampoo softly murmured as she shook her head, "This one overestimate you, Spatula Girl, think you much, much smarter than that." "Yeah," Akane growled, "You think just because we've convinced you to have sex with us that we're now gonna just toss you over?" "Well, isn't that what you two usually do once you've had your way?" Ukyo asked, "That Kuno guy..." "Kuno," Akane growled the word as though it were distasteful, "He never did even try to understand me, always making these leaps of assumption because I don't fall over basking in his glory, and just because I did it one time with his sister he goes and makes up this stuff about me being a rake..." "Well...aren't you?" Ukyo asked in a reasonably level tone of voice. "Ucchan," Akane turned and looked at the girl walking along beside her, "How could you believe something like that about me? Don't you know me at all by now? I'm not just out to score like you were another notch in my belt. Sure...I've dated a few girls in my time...okay, more than a few, but still..." "The way that Kuno makes it sound I almost think you've slept with half the girls at Furinkan," Ukyo noted. "Half the girls at school?" Akane sounded a bit more nervous as she grumbled, "I wish...maybe a few here and there, like...a few in our class..." "A few?" Ukyo cocked an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe half the girls in class," Akane shrugged, "But that's because I know most of them, and the rest...well...they're just a little shy is all. But I didn't do it just so I could brag about it. I've been looking around, hoping to find a special somebody that I could really click with. We'd get together, maybe hang out for a while, then I'd make my move and really hope I don't get my face slapped..." "You think any girl at Furinkan would have the nerve to slap you?" Ukyo arched an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?" Akane frowned. "Well, I haven't been around that long," Ukyo admitted, "But I'm sensitive enough to tell that some of the girls in our class look up to you like you were some kind of a hero, and some are just afraid of you. I really can't see any one of them having the courage to reject you if you got really, really pushy about it..." "I'd never force myself on anyone, Ucchan," Akane insisted, then another pause before she relented, "Well...except Kodachi, but she started it by dropping in on me, so..." "I really hate to belabor the point, Sugar," Ukyo said, "But what you two guys did to me the other day was the next best thing to rape..." "You is still on that?" Shampoo huffed, "Maybe Shampoo no give Ukyo the option of refuse, but Spatula Girl no make much protest when she start receiving pleasures." "That's because whatever you did to me drove me so far out of my mind that I was too far gone before I knew it," Ukyo pointed out, "I was still in shock about being nearly raped and you took advantage of me, and the next thing I know I'm having orgasm after orgasm." "Ukyo," Akane said more quietly, "Are you really upset with us over that?" "Maybe not upset," Ukyo conceded, "And maybe I'm even a little grateful. I never knew it could be like that with another girl before, and I can't complain about your technique. It just bothers me that you two could be so casual about doing that with a girl who wasn't even of a mind to fight back. I mean, technically, what you did was the equivalent of getting a girl drunk at a party..." "So maybe Shampoo take advantage because she think you need pleasures," Shampoo pointed out, "Maybe no best way to help Spatula Girl cope with problem, but this one no think of better way, and think you need good screw from moment she meet you." "Yeah," Akane agreed, "I've felt the same way from the beginning, Ucchan. Almost from the start I felt like you needed someone to turn your life around, and I wanted to be that someone...but I was willing to wait for it, right up until it seemed like the right thing to do at the time..." "Which...brings us kinda back full circle," Ukyo sighed, "How do I know you two aren't just gonna dump me now that you've got me where you want me?" "Is that what Ukyo is afraid of?" Shampoo cooed, "No think this one get tired of you yet. This one think you very fun to have around, and no done having pleasures with Ukyo's nice-nice body." "Yeah, and I'm not done with you either," Akane said with surprising fierceness, "You're special to both of us, Ucchan...and not just because we've been having fun the last few days either. I think you're a very special kind of person, I always have, and you've got a terrific body, and you're so feminine when you let your hair down, and you're so nice when you're not angry all the time, and..." "Ah...Sugar?" Ukyo colored, "I get the point. So...you really wanna hang around with me some more, huh?" "Absolutely!" Akane nodded, "I've waited a long time to meet someone like you, and now that I've found you I'm not giving you up, even if I have to fight for the pleasure with a guy like that Ryoga." "No have to fight," Shampoo coyly pointed out, "Could have much-much pleasures with boy in mixture, if Spatula girl really do go both way." "What?" Ukyo blinked, coloring even more, "You don't mean...?" "Naw," Akane said, "He'd probably pass out from a major nose bleed if that guy even saw a naked woman. I found out the other day just how shy he is when he walked in on me while I was taking a bath..." "YOU WHAT?" Ukyo reacted. "Hey, it wasn't deliberate or anything," Akane insisted, "And I'm sure he didn't do it deliberately either. I don't even like boys, but when he took one look at me he went right to the floor in a fainting spell, and I had to Elder Cologne's help just to put him to bed because you were out shopping for noodles with Shampoo..." "Was not only think we shop for," Shampoo leered, giving Ukyo a look that made the other girl's blush even more crimson. "If you don't cut that out I think I'm the one whose gonna get a nosebleed, Sugar," Ukyo said as she glanced away while the memory of that "shopping trip" came vividly to mind, and how she had ever let the purple haired Amazon steer her over into that sex shop to look over their dildo and vibrator collection...and then make the colossal mistake of letting Shampoo "try her out" for different sizes on the way back from the parlor, and the naughty sense of risking getting caught doing that in the alley that the Amazon selected... "You're kidding, right?" Akane asked as she looked almost accusingly at Shampoo, "And you didn't invite me?" "You no around at time," Shampoo shrugged, "And was good way to see if Shampoo make good strap-on selection." "Can we...change the subject a little?" Ukyo pleaded, "We're almost back to your place and unless you guys mean to broadcast everything to your family...I mean...we're all telepaths here, right?" "Hey, that's right," Akane blinked, looking a bit sheepish, "And I don't know if I'm ready yet to make any announcement to my family..." "A-Announcement?" Ukyo blinked, "What...?" All at once Akane latched herself to Ukyo's arm and leaned her head against the other girl's shoulder, "To tell them that we're going steady...if that's what both of us want..." "S-S-STEADY???" Ukyo blurted and might have jumped away if not for Shampoo moving in to take her by her other arm. "Spatula Girl really sly one," the Amazon teased, "Get Akane to make big confession that she have deep-deep feelings for you. Maybe Ukyo want Akane deep down admit she like you, and you like Akane. Maybe Shampoo one who get jealous." "Cut it out you two," Ukyo felt her cheeks burning once again, "People might be looking..." "So?" Akane asked, "Let them stare. You think I'm afraid to be seen with a beautiful woman?" "And Ukyo dress enough like man that some maybe think is man at distance," Shampoo purred sweetly, "See Ukyo and think, there go lucky man who have two good looking girl holding arms, lucky devil..." "What am I gonna do with you two---huh?" Ukyo looked up again and saw the group that was gathered outside the Tendo dojo and said, "Ranchan?" "What about---huh?" Akane turned, also taking notice of the gathering outside her family's gates, "What's going on there?" "Aiyaa..." Shampoo softly averred, "That really big car...who drive that?" "I dunno, Sugar," Ukyo said, "Some bigshot who can afford a stretch limo, you know anyone with that much scratch?" "No," Akane replied, "It's bigger than the one the Kuno family drives, but...what do they want with my family anyhow?" "Let find out," Shampoo urged as the three girls approached with appropriately wary expressions. The first thing the two Jedi Force Masters and Sith Apprentice picked up on right away were the waves of intense emotion coming from Nabiki as the girl stood glaring at someone else who stood a bit apart from the others in a white Shinto-styled wedding outfit while a heavyset man with incredibly big ears was doing most of the talking. Kasumi and Ranma both seemed equally stunned by some revelation that they had obviously just been exposed to, while there a mixed run of conflicting emotions flowing around each of the parents as though some matter of great interest was at issue. They heard Akane's father declaring his position with stern resolve, "I am sorry...but Ranma is pledged to marry one of my two daughters in order to unite our houses, and I can't accept your daughter's petition to be valid..." "That is most unfortunate," the short, burly man replied (and at close range the girls could now see that he was an impeccable dresser), "Because I cannot accept another betrothal as being more valid than the one that Saotome Genma and I agreed to when both our children were still babies. You talk about the honor of your dojo, well...how is that more valid than the honor of the Daikoku Ryu? Do you think that my family's pride is of any lesser importance?" "I am sorry," Soun repeated again, "But my stand is final. Ranma will marry one of my daughters and no other..." "And just like that I am supposed to accept this?" the other man replied, "You realize, of course, that I could pursue this as a legal matter, and---no offence---but I can afford much better attorneys." "That does not change the fact that the agreement between me and Saotome-san predates your claim by at least two years," Soun said firmly, "And you extracted your promise from Saotome when he was at wits end, under incredible duress..." "A bargain is a bargain, Tendo-san," the other man said firmly, "Or should we ask Mrs. Saotome here for her opinion?" "Well," Nodoka replied, "I for one am happy to discover that my son has yet another lovely potential suitor, but it is true that Ranma can only marry one of these girls, so...I am reluctant to decide. On the issue of honor I must find that both claims are valid..." "Dearest?" Genma asked with a look that hinted strongly of dismay. "...Which means that you and your daughter are entitled to due consideration," Nodoka continued, turning to favor her son with a smile, "It would please me either way of Ranma were to decide which of these lovely girls is to become his fiancée?" "Huh?" Ranma blinked, "Now wait a minute...!" The white-clad girl leaned forward and whispered something to her father, too low-voiced to be overheard by the others, and her father nodded and said, "My daughter has made a suggestion that I think would be of use here. Would you like to hear it?" "We would be delighted to hear the suggestions of such a proper young lady," Kimiko spoke up before her husband could voice protest, "Isn't that right...Dearest?" "Uh...y-yes...of course," Soun reluctantly conceded. The girl whispered to her father again then the man smiled brightly and said, "It just so happens that there will be a delivery race in two days during the autumn festival. The prize is a year's supply of ramen noodles..." "Ramen?" Genma spoke up with interest, only to subside once again as he was glared down by Nabiki, Kasumi and Ranma. "...If you would like to put this matter to the test over which of our schools is the more worthy," the fat little man said in a pleasant, confident tone of voice, "Then my daughter, Kaori, will race against your girls to determine which of them will be the better fiancée." "What a splendid idea," Nodoka said, "Isn't that a very clever and useful suggestion, Tendo-san?" "Ah...yes," Soun said, frowning slightly as he said, "A year's supply you say? And the winner takes all?" "Daddy!" Nabiki cried in hurt protest. "That is exactly so," the burly man replied, "Your daughters and my Kaori will race for the hand of Saotome Ranma and take home a years supply of Ramen as extra incentive. Two days, Tendo-san...may I trust that you will accept these terms?" "Of course," Soun replied, "I'll never give up Ranma, nor will I give up a year of Ramen either." "I feel the exact same way," the shorter man smiled ominously, "Good day to you then, Tendo-san, Saotome-san, Lady Trieste. And good day to you too, my Son, Ranma." "Hah?" Ranma blinked, "W-What just happened?" "I think you have just been wagered as the stakes of a competition, Ranma-kun," Kasumi said somewhat reluctantly. "Yeah, and what's the big idea, Daddy?" Nabiki demanded, "Ranma's our fiancée! How can you agree to risk him like...huh?" She turned to see the girl named Kaori standing there in her white wedding dress, her face all but invisible save for the lower half where a predatory smile was showing, and then a pair of eyes gleamed from beneath the shadows before the girl turned around and demurely walked over to the car to join her father. "What the heck is going on here?" Akane demanded. "You got me, Sugar," Ukyo scowled, "And who the heck is that floozy, and why does she think she has a right to be Ranchan's fiancée?" "Is good question," Shampoo turned and bowed to Trieste, "Honored Elder..." "Not here," Trieste waved to the Amazon then said, "Everyone to the dojo. We are going to plot a war council." "I could not have put it better myself," Kimiko said in total agreement, "Husband? You too, Nodoka." "Yes Dear," Soun replied meekly. "But of course," Nodoka agreed, then added without turning around, "You too, Husband." Genma slumped his shoulders and softly murmured, "I'm a dead man..." "You got that right, Old Man!" Ranma bristled, coming out of his daze as the familiar sense of anger replaced his momentary confusion, "How the hell could you do a thing like that to me? And for a bowl of rice? Is that all I'm worth to you???" "I also had a fish and a pickle," Genma said plaintively, "Your father isn't made of stone, Boy..." "You're not my father!" Ranma snapped, "No old man who sells his son for a meal...!" "Ranma," Nodoka said gently-yet-firmly, "It is not a manly thing to upbraid your father. That is for your mother to decide his fate." "All right, Mom," Ranma sulked as he followed his parents into the dojo, glancing sidelong at Kasumi and Nabiki before giving a sheepish nod in Ukyo's direction. "Dad," Akane said once everyone had taken their seats, "Who the heck was that and what's this all about?" "Patience Child," Trieste softly urged, "All will be made known to you in time." "It had better," Ukyo glowered, flashing in her mind the memory of the girl in the white wedding dress, and the growing sense of deja-vu that made her glare in Genma's direction. "Now then," Kimiko began, assuming a tone of authority that her husband gladly yielded, "As we understand the matter, around about fifteen or so years ago, during an early phase of Ranma's training, his father stumbled weak and weary into the campsite of a man named Daikoku Hiryu, whom you just saw a moment ago, and struck a bargain with him that resulted in young Ranma becoming betrothed to his daughter, Kaori." "Wait a minute," Akane growled, "You mean Uncle Saotome sold his son out for a bowl of rice and pickles???" "Aiyaa," Shampoo remarked, "Is almost as bad as him steal cart of Okonomiyaki." "You got that right, Sugar," Ukyo declared, pausing briefly to mentally note that this time the Amazon had actually pronounced it right, "This sounds like the same stunt the sneaky bastard pulled with my father..." "I will not defend my husband's actions with you, Kuonji-san," Nodoka replied, "And it is true that our family is still indebted to yours over this issue...but in all truth I am not sorry to learn that my son has yet another beautiful girl who wants to marry him. From a mother's perspective it is a joy to learn that Ranma is so manly and will no doubt make one of you young girls a very virile husband..." "But Mom," Ranma protested, "I don't even know this...Daikoku girl! The only girls I...well...know like that are Nabiki and Kasumi...and maybe even Ucchan..." "Gee, thanks," Ukyo replied, "It's so nice that you remembered I'm hear, Ranchan." "Hey, come on!" Ranma protested, "You know what I mean!" "Do I now?" Ukyo replied, "And just how well do you know me...Sugar?" "Ah...well..." Ranma winced. "For ten years now I've been your fiancée," Ukyo growled, "And until recently you didn't even know that I was a woman." "Hey, the Old Man never---!" "Oh, grow a spine will you?" Akane blurted out, "Take some responsibility once in a while. You come in here and seduce my sisters and treat Ucchan like dirt and then expect sympathy because you got another girlfriend?" "Ranma is very sly boy," Shampoo said with a sultry expression, "Little Brother think he very manly because girls throw selves at feet. This one never know you like that when you stay with us in Amazon village." "Hey, that ain't funny, Shampoo!" Ranma winced, "How would you like it if guys kept coming onto you all the time? Besides...I never even said I wanted to get engaged to anyone in the first place..." "What?" Nabiki rounded on him. "What Ranma-kun means is that this is all very new to him," Kasumi explained, "He is still a young man with prospects and he was not planning to settle down this early in his life..." "Oh, so now you know how he thinks, Sis?" Nabiki turned a glare upon her older sister. "I...I am just saying..." Kasumi replied in tones that showed that the accusation had her off-balance. "Kasumi is correct, Nabiki," Kimiko gently chided, "He is rather young to consider getting married. Most young men wait at least until after they have graduated from high school, and possibly even when he has gone onto college." "From an economic advantage there is certainly a lot to be said about waiting," Trieste noted, "A young man such as Ranma would be better off establishing himself in a sound financial footing before taking on the responsibility of running a family of his own. Unfortunately...young people these days are not always that patient..." she sighed with a sly look at her apprentice. "Hey, I can run a house just as good as you, Mom," Nabiki spoke up, "And if Ranma-kun is worried about his finances and what college he might go to..." "Yes," Kasumi agreed, "And if it is a matter of taking care of a house, then I know my way around a kitchen and would be honored to provide for him. Ranma still has a few years to go before he can start to earn a living for himself, so it would make sense if Nabiki were on hand to serve as his financial advisor." "What?" Nabiki turned a puzzled look on her older sister. "I am saying that, if you want to marry him, Nabiki, then I agree that you would be a very good choice," Kasumi replied, then added softly, "I would rather that than see you unhappy, Little Sister..." "And what of your wishes in this matter, Child?" Kimiko asked, "Do you think that Ranma-kun would make you a good husband?" "Oh my..." Kasumi felt her cheeks burning and glanced down in clear embarrassment, not finding the words to convey her own swirling mix of emotions. Nabiki continued to stare at Kasumi when Akane said, "If you guys want him so much then you can both have him, but I want to know what this means about his commitment to Ucchan." "Yeah," Ukyo agreed, giving Akane a dubious glance before resuming, "Why do I get the short end of the stick here? I could make just as good a wife for Ranchan, and I know I could do well keeping house and cooking his meals and all that..." "And I would be so happy to have you all for my daughters," Nodoka said grandly, "You each care so much about my son that it would be impossible for me to choose which of you would be the most deserving. That is why I have agreed to stage this contest with Mister Daikoku's daughter, to give you the opportunity of deciding among yourselves...that is, unless Ranma would like to state his preference here?" "Hah?" Ranma blinked. "If you decide to marry one of these three girls," Nodoka clarified, "Then I will tell Daikoku-san that the matter has been decided and he will have to accept my decision as Ranma's mother. Of course I know what a tremendous strain this would be for you, my Son, having to choose from three such fine examples of young womanhood...I only ask that you take into consideration which of them would make the best mother for your children." "Ch-ch-ch-ch-children?" Ranma stammered. "Kids?" Nabiki blinked. "You mean...little rugrats?" Ukyo faintly murmured. "Oh my," Kasumi blushed once again, "That is right...whichever one of us marries Ranma-kun...oh my...!" "Why so surprised, Big Sister?" Shampoo asked, "Is great honor to be mother of children to strong warrior like Ranma." "Oh dear," Nodoka chided herself, "How thoughtless of me, what was I thinking? I should have thought to include you on Ranma's lists of possible fiancées." "Aiyaa?" Shampoo's red eyes got noticeably rounder. "Hey, wait a minute..." Akane protested. "Oh, you could be included on the list too, Akane-chan," Nodoka amended, "I'm sure your mother would be delighted to have all three of her daughters competing for Ranma." "More than you will ever know, Nodoka-san," Kimiko murmured faintly. "Now just a second here!" Akane blurted out before remembering her manners, "I mean...no offense to you, Aunt Saotome, but there's no way that I want to have anything to do with this! I'm not after your son to marry him, and I wouldn't think of competing against my own sisters!" "And this one is not wild about dating little brother," Shampoo agreed, "Even though he very strong and manly, he make fine warrior-husband and give many strong babies who bring great honor to family and..." "Knock it off while you're ahead, Sugar," Ukyo growled, "At the rate you're going I'm starting to get jealous..." "Now hold on here!" Ranma spoke up at last, "What's the rush about me marrying somebody and having kids and all that? I mean...want more time to think about this...is that too much to ask?" "Boy," Genma spoke up, "When are you going to get it through your heard that it's not all about you?" "Yes, don't be selfish, Son," Soun joined in, "You owe it to my daughters to make one of them a husband, and you owe it to the Anything Goes School to unite the families, so don't just think about yourself, think about Nabiki and Kasumi!" "Daddy," Nabiki growled, "You're not helping." "Ranma-kun deserves to make his own mind up over which of us he wants to marry," Kasumi said, then paused as if summoning her courage before adding, "If...if Ranma-kun were to choose me...or Nabiki...then...it would be for the better..." "And me?" Ukyo asked as she glared at the older girl. "Kuonji-san," Kasumi said carefully, "We...did not get off on a good footing together...but despite what you may think, I do not think ill of you. You spared Ranma-kun because you clearly care more about him than you were wedded to the Dark side...but I still have qualms about you seeking a relationship with Ranma-kun under present circumstances. You are still a Sith apprentice, regardless of what else may have happened to bring about a change in your nature, the fact remains that matters are not settled in your life and you are not yet ready to become the wife of a young man with special needs like Ranma." "Oh yeah?" Ukyo bridled, "You wanna see how much I've changed, Witch?" "Calm down, Kuonji-san," Trieste urged forcefully, "Even you must concede that my Padawan raises a valid point. Your training to date has been to master ways of avenging your honor against young Master Ranma...are you truly prepared to turn around and embrace him as your husband?" "Ah...well..." Ukyo hesitated when Nodoka came to her rescue. "I know you've had your reasons to feel the way you did in the past, Kuonji- san," the Saotome matron urged, "But please do not give up on my son this early. I know that you have it within yourself to make a fine wife for Ranma, just as my good friend, Kimiko-san here, has done for her husband. Remember, Kimiko- chan? There was a time when you were less than happy about your engagement to Tendo-san..." "Oh yes," Kimiko rolled her eyes, "I well remember..." "Mom?" Akane blinked, surprised to learn this much about her mother. "It was a long time ago, Child," Kimiko smiled, "Back during my days when I was still a part of the Self Defense Forces, a pilot no less. At the time I was happy in my career and had no thought to getting myself a husband, let alone settling down and having children, unlike Nodoka-chan here, who seemed to live for nothing else." "But I was raised to appreciate the traditional roles of a woman in a domestic sense," Nodoka replied, "As well as to appreciate family obligations, while you could barely heat water without burning the pot." "Oh yes, I remember well..." Kimiko rolled her eyes and chuckled at the memories that surfaced. "Mom?" Akane blinked. "You what?" Nabiki was incredulous. "Oh my...is this true, Mother?" Kasumi asked. "It's true, my Children," Kimiko replied, "I had a lot of growing up to do before I was fit to marry your father, but now, looking back, I'm so glad that I made the choice to give up piloting in order to have you. I have never been so fulfilled as being a mother and a wife, and while I do not say that my choices should be yours, you can take my word on it that you gain much more than you lose when you find yourselves proper husbands." "Oh my," Kasumi remarked with rounded eyes. "Oboy," Nabiki said as she considered the implications of being both a wife and a mother, particularly with Ranma as her husband. "Yeah, whatever," Akane said more indifferently, not even having the stomach to imagine her life tethered down with any guy, let alone an obnoxious brat like Ranma. "So, what I am saying to you, Kuonji-san, is that I would be honored to have you for my son's wife, if you prove worthy and can win his affections," Nodoka smiled at Ukyo, "Never lose heart over whatever obstacles are in the path between you and your dreams. The road to happiness is sometimes littered with unknown perils, but if your heart is true and your path is clear then you see your way through to the fulfillment of all your desires. If you can do that, then you will be worthy to marry my Ranma." "Ah...okay," Ukyo said faintly, feeling all her remaining resentment drain away as she realized that her engagement to Ranma had just received official sanction. "I don't see why you're still out to marry him," Akane groused, "You could do a lot better than that if you want a guy for a husband." "This one think Akane is jealous," Shampoo teased. "Jealous?" Akane bridled, "Over him? No way!" "Methinks, little sister, that you protest too much," Nabiki observed dryly, "But before we get too far ahead of ourselves, don't forget that Daikoku-san still insists his kid's claim is also valid, and he struck me as the type of guy who doesn't take refusal easy." "Oh my, yes, that is so," Kasumi nodded sadly, "I guess that means that we must compete against his daughter if we're going to invalidate her claim." "No problem for me," Ukyo balled a fist, "If that lady thinks she can just come in here and muscle in on our turf, then she's gonna have to prove she can whip my tail first, and I intend to be the one who does all the whipping." "This one believes that little brother Ranma could use some Amazon assistance," Shampoo smiled, "See if white-dressed girl is good enough to race against this one." "Hey!" Ranma said, "I thought I had a say in this..." "Do you want to pick a fight by choosing one of these girls, Boy?" Genma stage- whispered into his son's ear, "Better just play along and let them take it out on each other, that's the safest way to get through this thing alive, believe me." "Ah..." Ranma actually considered the point, glancing at one girl than another and seeing each of their expressions, from Nabiki's fierce possessiveness to Kasumi's gentle longing, to Ukyo's strangely brooding expression and Shampoo's teasing wink, with Akane's glare closing up the package. "Nabiki, Kasumi," Soun addressed his two older children, "I know you will do your best, so go out there and make your father proud." "Which means don't let that other girl take away your shot at happiness, my Children," Kimiko translated, "Remember that the Anything Goes tradition is depending on you to show that Daikoku girl a thing or two about fiancées." "You can count on us, Mom," Nabiki assured them, "And I won't let any fancy skirt in a wedding dress take away Ranma-kun." "We'll all do our best, Mother," Kasumi nodded, "And we won't disappoint you, Father." "If you guys are gonna make fools of yourselves over him, then I might as well join in myself," Akane glowered, "Not that I want anything to do with the baka, but if I can win that ramen for all of us, then you guys can decide among yourselves who's gonna get stuck playing housewife." "Then it's decided," Nodoka smiled, "Train well, Daughters, in two days you go up against Daikoku-san's daughter and may the better fiancée win." "Even if it kills me?" Ranma murmured before sighing, "I've got a bad feeling about this..." "And you should always trust your feelings, young Master," Trieste gently advised him, not bothering to add that her own intuition was affirming her suspicions that this matter would lead to some interesting new complications, ones she hoped would bring her wards that much closer together though she secretly suspected that it could as easily tear them apart, depending on the choices to be made in the very near future... Continued. Comments/Criticisms/Wacky Foot Races: shadowmane@ridgenet.net The fight is on between Kaori and the Tendo sisters with Ukyo and Shampoo thrown into the mix, but who will win the delivery race and win the hand of both Ranma and the Ramen? (And what will Ranma do when faced with the prospect of marrying the winner?) Be with us next time for: "Ramen Rat Races," or, "A Spice in Thyme Saves Rhyme!" Be there! X