Jedi Kasumi


(A Ranma/Star Wars Crossover)


by
Jim Robert Bader


(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi
& George Lucas, with further inspiration
provided by Brandon Kelley & Bill Guiroff)


Episode Twenty-Two.
(Age of Legal Consent,
Under Seventeen Not Allowed)



The Great Rat Chase



As though the
romantic saga of
Saotome Ranma were
not complicated enough,
onto the scene has entered
yet another contender in the
fiancée debacle, one Daikoku
Kaori, heir to the Daikoku school
of Martial Arts Delivery Take-Out,
To issue her challenge to Ukyo and the
Tendo sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi...


Having agreed
to join in a race
in order to determine
which girl is best suited
to remain Ranma's fiancée,
they are joined by the Jedi Force
Masters Shampoo and Akane, who
have a very different agenda in mind,
one that runs contrary to having Ukyo be
the victor of these fiancée struggles...


Meanwhile the
Dark Lord, Darth
Purge, has resolved
to test Kuno Tatewaki's
potential as a possible new
Padawan, replacing Ukyo as
Apprenticed Sith Lord, even if it
kills either him or his would-be 
successor...






"Hah, very good," Purge complimented, "Your technique is excellent 
and your reflexes are superb..."


"I need no compliments from the likes of you, Fiend," Kuno 
sneeringly replied, "Though you appear to be quite skilled in your own 
right, I will yet emerge the victor of this contest..."


"That remains to be seen," Purge mused as he deflected a series of 
wicked strikes that the young human male had unleashed upon him, 
then countered with his own offensive, one that drove Kuno 
immediately on the defensive.


"Argh---Fiend!" Kuno snarled, "You are strong, and fast for your size, 
but you face Tatewaki Kuno here, and I will yet gain the upper hand..."


"I find that highly unlikely," Purge remarked, "And I do not see that I 
should need to fear from the boasts of a man who cannot obtain the 
services of the female he covets."


"You dare bring that up?" Kuno raged, "Blackguard!  I will smite thee 
for your insolence!  To even sully the purity of the fair Kasumi by 
inference...!"


"It is not I who sully her, Fool," Purge hissed slyly, "I am not the 
hopeless puppy who wallows in drool hoping for a tidbit of affection 
from the woman who quite obviously spurns you, but then again you 
mammals are such slaves to your hormonal urges that I suppose that 
one could not blame you for trotting along at her heels hoping against 
all sanity that she will even notice..."


"DIIEEE!!!" Kuno shouted, calling upon his awesome powers to add 
further fire to his formidable skills, his wooden blade striking 
seemingly everywhere at once as Purge was forced to retreat a few 
paces, momentarily held on the defensive.


"Hah, that's more like it!" Purge sneered as he beat off Kuno's furious 
offensive, "I was beginning to think you were half asleep with the way 
you've been fighting.  Come on and show me what you can really do, 
Baka!  Or has lust for a female left you as weak as you are pathetic!"


"I am far above your taunting, Monster!" Kuno cried as he reared back 
and summoned up even more of his Ki-power, "I am your doom!  
Your destroyer!"


The solid sound of a clack of electricity attended the might blow that 
Kuno directed towards his foeman, and yet, though it seemed 
incredible, his attack was met and blocked by the towering Purge, who 
deflected that energy off his own bokken without seeming to flinch.


"Is that the best that you can do?" Purge hissed with a flicking of his 
forked tongue, "Come on...show me the power that you used to defeat 
my apprentice.  Show me that you are a mighty warrior and not a love-
besotted basket case..."


"You have asked for it, Hellspawn!" Kuno declared as he stepped back 
and drew his bokken into a ready stance, lowering the blade until it 
was almost touching the ground then raising it high again as the force 
of his Ki pooled and gathered within him.  His form was almost 
crackling with static as he readied for his next attack, Kuno's eyes all 
but blazing with wrath as he stared hatefully at his foeman and readied 
himself for the lizard man's annihilation.


"Yes," Purge smiled, "That's it...I knew you had the potential..."


"I am more than you could ever imagine, Devil from the Pits!" Kuno 
snarled as he raised  his power levels even higher than before, unaware 
that the swirling energy surrounding him was now coalescing in both 
bright and dark coruscating flashes, "I am Kuno Tatewaki, descended 
of a noble line, a Samurai born true and also your doom!  Look upon 
my strength and tremble!"


With that Kuno unleashed his most powerful attack, leaping high into 
the air and coming down again with a slash that crackled and seared 
the very air with the boom of thunder.  He struck with force enough to 
shatter the side of a small mountain and everything within a hundred 
feet was rocked with was rocked by the shockwave, cracking walls and 
felling trees while causing cars to skid out of control in all directions.


And when the attack was completed and the force expended naught 
remained where Purge had been standing but a large truck-sized crater 
gouged out the very asphalt.  Kuno took a moment to absorb and 
reflect upon this before righting himself again and raising his sword in 
a respectful saluting manner.


"I warned you not to rouse my righteous wrath, Monster," Kuno 
murmured softly, "Now rest in Hades you---urk!"


The tap of a wooden sword just below his Adam's apple caused Kuno 
to go very still, disbelief vying with amazement as he heard Purge's 
malevolently hissing voice remark, "Magnificent...I knew that you had 
the potential within you.  I am very impressed indeed, you do show 
some slight promise."


"But...how...?" Kuno gasped.


"Why match Force with Force, Boy, when it is so much easier to move 
to the side when your focus is distracted?" Purge responded, "I had to 
know your current limits before I could decide if you were the one 
whom I have been seeking all this while, and now I know your 
measure.  You could indeed exceed even Taro's capabilities with a bit 
more training, and then you would be a match even for the Jedi 
themselves."


"You were testing me all along?" Kuno gasped, "But...why?"


"Because you bested Ukyo, my best student," Purge explained, "And 
the Sith respect and acknowledge strength, whether of mind or of 
body.  You are presently a flawed diamond and your mind distracted 
with confused loyalties and lusts that you color with sentimental 
twaddle.  You could be so much more than you are now, easily the 
better of the likes of Saotome Ranma..."


"Saotome?" Kuno frowned, "What is he to you, Fiend?"


"Saotome is another flawed gemstone who has it within him to be 
something greater," Purge explained, "And yet his loyalties are clearly 
given over to the Jedi as he has been taken in by my enemy, and is 
betrothed to at least two of the older Tendo sisters..."


"What?" Kuno blinked, "What say you?  I had heard that he was 
betrothed to Tendo Nabiki..."


"That engagement is presently in dispute as he has been given a choice 
by both the Jedi and his parents," Purge revealed, "Either to marry one 
sister or have both of them in kind, and it is known that Kasumi is very 
much in competition with her sister, seeking to mate with the boy and 
give him young of her loins..."


"LIAR!" Kuno swore, "She would never sully herself by consorting 
with the likes of a low-born dog such as him!"


"You think that I am trying to deceive you?  I am not," Purge assured 
him, "You may inquire of Jedi Padawan Tendo Kasumi herself and 
hear the words from her own lips just who it is she yearns to share her 
bed.  In all truth she lusts for him like a bitch in heat, this female you 
hold upon a pedestal and worship as an idol..."


"Cease your lies!" Kuno spat, deflecting the bokken with the flat of his 
hand and move away to resume a martial stance, "Now surely I will 
smite you down for daring to compare my delicate flower to a female 
hound!"


"So, are you ready to fight me now, Boy?" Purge taunted, raising his 
own bokken and readying his personal power, "Very well then, let me 
show you what a true Sith Lord can accomplish!'


Kuno did not even see the other man move, he only felt as though a 
wave of darkness loomed up before him and smothered out all light, 
and then he had a feeling of motion that overwhelmed all other sense 
and awareness and did not become coherent again until an endless age 
had passed, at which point he awoke to find himself over fifty meters 
away from where he had been standing, bewildered and confused at 
how he had gotten there, and trembling all over.


"Now do you see, Boy?" Purge called out, "The power of the Dark 
side, the power you would foolishly challenge?"


"Ugh..." Kuno grunted as he forced himself up into a sitting position, 
"You haven't...won yet...you fiend..."


"Hah!  You are persistent, Samurai, I will give you that!" Purge 
laughed, "I salute your courage and tenacity, but this fight is ended for 
now.  I choose to end it.  I have learned what I came here to discover, 
and now I leave you with this thought...that strong as you are, you are 
not presently as strong as Saotome."


"What?" Kuno gasped, leaning on his bokken as he struggled to get to 
his feet, "N-No...that's a lie!"


"It is the truth, Boy," Purge insisted, "Strong as you are, he is much, 
much stronger."


"There is no way...that a low-born cur...who treats women...the way he 
does...could be my better!" Kuno insisted, wavering on his feet before 
willing himself to stand erect, "After Ukyo...and Nabiki...you dare 
compare him to me?"


"See for yourself if you doubt my words," Purge sneered, "And 
because he is strong your fair flower yearns to mate with him, even at 
the cost to stealing him from her own sister.  But don't rely on me to 
tell you the truth of the matter, challenge him yourself and you will see 
how strong he truly is, which is stronger than you could dare to 
imagine."


"I will face him anywhere and at any time," Kuno resolved, "And I 
will prove myself...his better..." the latter part was barely a whisper 
spoken between grit teeth, but Purge heard it just as well and turned 
away to hide the smile that cross his own scaly face.


"I am counting on you to do just that, little Samurai," the Sith Lord 
murmured, "You have already begun your journey to the dark side and 
you don't even know it yet...this could not be more perfect."


And with that thought in mind he took his leave of Tatewaki, Kuno 
finding his strength not sufficiently returned to engage in pursuit of the 
tall creature, though his glare was promise enough as he murmured 
softly, "We will meet again, Fiend from Hell...on that I swear...it..."


And the rest was lost as he fell backwards into the much-coveted sleep 
his body demanded...





It was bright and early the following morning and all of Nerima 
seemed ready to turn out for a great contest.  The Fast-Food Martial-
Arts Delivery Take-Out Race was gearing to begin with dozens of 
contenders warming up and mentally preparing to do combat.


"Wow," Akane remarked as she glanced around, "Quite a turn-out for 
this match, huh?"


"Aiyaa," Shampoo murmured, "No see this many contestants at village 
Challenge Log, is much, much more people."


"Why be surprised?" Ukyo asked as she stretched herself out, "People 
like a good show and this one promises at least a little excitement, not 
that I'm expecting much out of Miss Blushing Violet over there," she 
briefly glanced at the veiled and reserved-looking Kaori, who was still 
dressed in a traditional Shinto wedding outfit, "But with your sisters in 
the race, there ought to be just a little competition."


"And are you thinking of excluding me from your list of rivals?" 
another voice intruded on their conversation, even as Ukyo turned to 
see a dark-haired, ponytailed girl in a green leotard standing just to the 
left of both her and Shampoo, "Of course, since we have not been 
properly introduced, you could be forgiven such a lamentable 
oversight..."


"What, you again?" Ukyo blinked, snapping her fingers as she tried to 
summon up a name then said, "Kuno Kodachi, right?"


"The one and only Black Rose of Saint Hebereke," the other girl said 
haughtily, "And you are that boyish girl whom my brother informed 
me about, the one who disguised herself as a man for ten years while 
pursing Saotome Ranma."


"Kodachi," Nabiki rather irritably said as she turned around to glare at 
her erstwhile friend, "Just what are you up to this time?"


"I have merely come by to wish you well...and to give you a little bit 
of healthy competition," Kodachi cheerfully leered, "After all, I 
understand that your...boyfriend is quite the charming sort, and having 
only met him once in passing I know that he is quite ruggedly 
handsome..."


"Oh Kodachiiii," Akane purred as she moved out from behind Ukyo, 
"I had no idea that you'd be here.  


Once again the transformation in the Black Rose's tone and attitude 
was striking, going from playful to alarmed as she gulped, "A-A-
Akane?"


"If you're going to be in this race, then I just may forget the main 
object and take a consolation prize," Akane brazenly leered, "Tell me, 
do they penalize you for tackling a competitor?"


"Is said to be Anything Goes match," Shampoo affirmed, giving 
Kodachi a sultry appraisal before purring, "Is maybe good idea, she 
look like she be interesting conquest."


"Ah...on second thought," Kodachi hastily moved away from the 
starting line, "I wouldn't dream of taking your boyfriend away from 
you, Nabiki, my good friend...in fact, I'll be cheering for you from the 
crowds...well away from the finishing line...bye now!"


And with that Kodachi all but fled from the scene, and Nabiki would 
have sworn that her sometime best friend had left skid marks in 
passing."


"She's just a little shy," Akane explained, "Maybe some other time I 
can properly introduce you?"


"I'll pass, Sugar," Ukyo sniffed, "Besides, this field's crowded enough 
as it is, even thought the only real competition I see will be your two 
older sisters..."


"Hah, you wish," Shampoo grinned, "This one give you good race, 
maybe even take it easy on Spatula girl and no make look too bad."


"Yeah?" Ukyo's smile was full of confidence, "And what are you 
gonna do in the EXTREMELY unlikely event that you win, Sugar?  
Wind up engaged to marry Ranchan?"


Shampoo blinked, "Aiyaa...no think that far ahead.  This one like her 
little brother, but no want to get married..."


"You're both being silly if you ask me," Akane sniffed, flexing her 
own arms in preparation for her part in the match, "The guy's not 
worth the sweat off your brow, but if Nabiki wants him she's more 
than welcome to the baka.  Kasumi, on the other hand...I really don't 
see the attraction there.  Oneechan always said she wasn't interested in 
younger man, but to let that immature idiot cause her to act this way..."


"Man, what is it about you and Ranchan?" Ukyo glared resentfully at 
the youngest Tendo sister, "You're always riding on his case, but he's 
only a little rude with you, so what's the deal here?"


"I just hate how that guy always seems to have it so easy," Akane 
fumed, "I mean, my sisters and I have trained all our lives to be as 
good as we are, but then he comes waltzing into town and just 
naturally picks things up like it was nothing..."


"Oho," Ukyo smiled, "Is that jealousy I hear?  Resentment over the 
fact that Ranchan is such a good fighter that he makes little old you 
look like a rookie?"


"Aiyaa," Shampoo exclaimed, "You should no want to resent what 
Ranma go through to become as good as little brother is."


"Oh, I know the guy's gone through heck with the Nekoken and all 
that," Akane waved a hand in a dismissive manner, "And when Sensei 
and Oneechan start treating the guy like he can walk on water..."


"Which we can," Shampoo pointed out.


"I mean..." Akane deliberately ignored the interruption, "Whatever 
happened to not training someone beyond a certain age?  I was six 
when I started to train in the Force, and Oneechan was nine, which 
was kind of old to start out.  And he's so undisciplined, and rude, and 
obnoxious...and what does Nabiki ever see in him?  I mean, NABIKI 
of all people!"


"You no think she like boys?" Shampoo asked.


"No...I mean...at least, that way..." Akane turned to glance at her two 
older sisters, confusion, curiosity and resentment briefly warring on 
her expression...


Nabiki, who only had a brief sense of being included in her sister's 
conversation, was devoting most of her attention towards her older 
sister, Kasumi, and the aforementioned Ranma.  The boy was standing 
beside them looking bewildered and uncertain, glancing frequently her 
way while listening to the lecture his mother was giving both Tendo 
sisters, reassuring them that she really had no preferences here and 
wanted to wish the both of them well, that either one of them would 
make her a fine daughter-in-law and that she would really prefer to 
have both of them continue to be engaged to Ranma, with Ukyo, 
Shampoo and Kaori thrown into the harem.


Nabiki was still a bit uncertain of what to make of the Saotome 
Matriarch.  On the one hand Nodoka was a genuinely likeable and 
overly pleasant person, but then one could not help remembering the 
steel that lurked behind the silk, rather much like Kasumi herself, 
though with Nodoka there was a greater sense of being basically out to 
lunch and just a bit fruity.  Kasumi always seemed airy and distant on 
some level, as though she were from another plane of existence, only 
just visiting a bit before flexing her wings and taking off for the 
heavens.


With Nodoka...there was the memory of that harsh suicide pact, and 
the awareness that the woman truly was a stickler for traditions such as 
the notorious concept of ie that made Japanese society seem a bit 
backward in the eyes of many a foreigner.  What did such a woman 
expect in a "dutiful daughter-in-law" anyway?  Someone who would 
cook and clean up the home?  Always be respectful to their elders and 
swallow their own opinion for the sake of maintaining domestic 
tranquility and the Wa of the essential family household?  If so then 
Nabiki knew that she was not particularly favored in that regard, while 
Kasumi was, if anything, a bit overqualified and thensome.


Nabiki was not a traditional girl in any sense of the word, believing 
that there was more to life than bowing and scraping to a man, or 
subordinating your ambitions the way her mother had when she 
married Nabiki's father.  With most boys that could be a problem as 
the young men of her acquaintance tended to be the types who 
believed that women only existed to fulfill the expectations of a man, 
but with Ranma she sensed that it would be very different.  He was not 
a traditional Japanese male by any stretch of the imagination, and 
while he had his rough edges and crude points there was a lot of raw 
clay to be molded there, and her association with him so far had 
confirmed that he would look towards her to set the definitions and 
boundaries of a marriage.


And that was an important thing to Nabiki, who valued her 
independence as much as any other prize.  She wanted a man who 
would respect her and the things that she was good at, not demand that 
she compromise herself to fulfill his needs.  He knew about her skills 
as a Jedi Force Mistress, knew that she was the family gadgeteer and 
was a lot smarter in those areas than he was, AND he wasn't 
intimidated by these factors.  If anything he tended to treat her much as 
he would an equal, if a bit shy and introverted as he had not that much 
experience around women, which she found oddly cute more than 
annoying.  There was a lot of potential here to have a genuine partner 
in a marriage, not a future Master.  As such she had been gravitating to 
him almost since the very beginning, and now looked to secure her 
claim as the lead fiancée, if not the pack leader of a potential harem.


And why should she have to give him up or share him anyhow?  It was 
not Ranma's fault that any of this had happened in the first place!  His 
father had set up the engagements between the Tendo girls, Ukyo and 
now this blushing lily, Kaori...who knew how many other 
engagements he might possibly have arranged if he was the type of 
man who could sell his own son for a bowl of rice with a pickle on 
top?  And she knew that Ranma was very upset with his father over 
that, just as she knew that she and Ranma had begun to form emotional 
ties that could well lead into a very satisfying relationship further 
down the line.  So why should Nabiki feel anything but resentful about 
someone else muscling in on her turf, even when one of the rivals was 
none other than her beloved older sibling?


Besides, it was not as if Nabiki had suitors beating down the door the 
way they were for both Akane and Kasumi.  She was the one whom 
nobody else seriously wanted, the one whom Kuno had branded a 
"cold and heartless mercenary," even as he gushed over Kasumi, a girl 
so well-favored with looks, intelligence and feminine qualities that it 
was hardly surprising that she was as popular as she was, even if 
Kasumi did little to encourage this attention.  Kasumi would have no 
problem finding herself a husband if she gave Ranma up for Nabiki.  
Why then did her Oneechan insist on competing for his attention?  
Nabiki could not believe that this was deliberate, but she had to 
wonder at Kasumi's motivation.


All right, Nabiki could see why she might be attracted to Ranma as a 
man since, in spite of his immaturity in many respects, he was VERY 
mature in the areas that mattered most to both of them.  Ranma was no 
rocket scientist, but he was not that stupid either, and while he tended 
to act rash and impulsive at times he was nonetheless brave, loyal and 
considerate when dealing with them.  He did not automatically 
presume that they had to get out of his way, he would go to great 
lengths to avoid getting in their way, and there was no question at all 
that he---unlike his father---would do his best to try to live up to his 
promises and commitments.


She thought of these things while stretching her body and limbering 
herself up, stealing glances at her sister and the man whom they both 
coveted and thinking to herself that there was a very large gulf that 
separated these two, and yet there was something else that was linking 
them, a line of trust and respect that made Ranma seem more than 
deferential to his nominal "Sensei."  Trieste had given the chore of 
Ranma's education in the force largely over to Kasumi, who was using 
that as an excuse to spend more time with the younger man, acting as 
both teacher and suitor, at once the wise and benevolent "Senior 
Student" in their school and a substitute-mother figure to whom 
Ranma might cleave as he would to an older sister...only this 
relationship carried with it more than a faint whiff of potential incest.


She scowled as she turned away, only to notice a pair of sandals a 
short distance from her face as she stretched herself with a full-leg 
split, looking up to discover that it was none other than her mother 
who had come to stand before her.


"Ah," Nabiki said as she rose back to her feet, "What's up, Mom?"


"I was just thinking," Kimiko smiled, "Watching you do that reminds 
me so much of me when I was your age.  I even had my hair cut short, 
as yours is, Child, though I doubt that I was ever in as good a top form 
as you are.  I am very proud of you, and I just wanted you to hear me 
say that."


"Momma," Nabiki felt her cheeks blush a little, looking up at the older 
woman almost shyly, only to find (to her considerable amazement) 
that there was no longer all that much difference in their respective 
heights, maybe a few centimeters favoring Kimiko over her middle 
daughter.


"You were always the clever one," Kimiko continued, "The one your 
sisters turn to when they have any sort of technical problem, and I'm 
proud of you in that way as well.  I dare say that you could have quite 
a career in the Home Defense Forces if you ever choose to follow in 
my example.  I was only a year older than you are now when I joined, 
and I loved flying combat jets.  I understand that the models which 
they are piloting now in my old wing are quite formidable, which is 
amusing since they used to take bets that the 801 TTW Airbats would 
never survive a decade..."


"Me join the military?" Nabiki asked, then hastily corrected herself, "I 
mean...the Home Defense Forces.  Ah, sorry to tell you this, Mom, but 
I'm not quite cut out for military life, if you know what I mean."


"I know," Kimiko smiled, "But I just wanted you to remember that you 
are still a young woman with many prospects, so don't feel too 
resentful towards your sister.  She has traveled the world and spent a 
great many years trying to find a man who could make her feel the 
way she does around young Saotome."


Nabiki glanced down before growling, "Maybe so, Mom, but...don't 
you think she could look a bit longer?  There's gotta be a guy closer to 
her age who could make her a pretty nice husband, and I don't know 
why it has to be Ranma..."


"She could ask the same thing of you," Kimiko replied, "There have to 
be other boys in the world who could make the both of you extremely 
happy..."


"Yeah?" Nabiki sullenly replied, "Well, they're sure not living in 
Nerima, I already checked."


"Stubborn girl," her mother said with surprising affection, "You really 
do remind me of me at times like this."


"Huh?" Nabiki looked at her mother with open confusion.


"Never mind, Child," her mother said a bit too hastily, "Let's just say 
that, if I knew then what I do now, then you would have had a lot more 
family members to contend with for shower privileges.  Let's just say 
that your prospects are not as bleak as you seem to imagine should 
your sister win the day and leave it at that.  I know that you will do 
your best to uphold the family honor and defeat all outside rivals...oh, 
and your father wanted me to remind you that a years supply of Ramen 
would go a long way to stretching the family food budget, so it 
wouldn't hurt things too much if you turn out to be the winner of this 
race."


"Ah...right," Nabiki replied with a dubious expression, "I'll do my best, 
you can count on that, Momma."


"I know you will," Kimiko's eyes twinkled in amusement, "You're my 
daughter."


For some reason Nabiki found that both warming reassuring and 
disturbing at one and the same course, for there was something in the 
friendly look her mother gave her just then that seemed to imply that 
an aspect of history was repeating itself, a thought which was more 
than a bit disturbing...


Right then Ranma was thinking along similar lines as he chatted with 
Kasumi, finding the right point in their conversation to inject the 
words, "I wish you guys didn't have to do this..."


"I know, Ranma-kun," Kasumi sighed, "And I wish as well that this 
was not necessary.  One's training should be about competing with 
yourself and one's own highest personal standards, to improve your 
abilities by learning to go beyond what you think of as your limits.  
Competing against others seems so...tawdry and boastful, as if merely 
excelling in a race were a means of claiming that you are better than 
someone who races against you.  I would that this could be completely 
avoided, but...the agreement between our fathers has made this a 
matter of personal and family honor."


"Yeah," Ranma said grudgingly, "And I'm supposed to be the prize 
everybody's competing for, but I don't see why you have to fight with 
Nabiki and Ucchan.  I mean...I thought I was gonna be the one who 
had a say in all of this..."


"I know, Ranma-kun," Kasumi gently replied, "And you will.  I would 
never force you to do anything, and if I should be the victor this day, 
then you will have the right to choose which of us is to be your 
fiancée.  I know that Nabiki would give you the same right if she 
should prove to be the victor, and as for your friend Kuonji...well...I 
cannot really say where her heart lays.  I rather doubt that she knows 
that herself at the moment.  It is mostly for pride that she is even in 
this competition."


"Yeah," Ranma said, "But I thought she was getting kind of close with 
Akane and Shampoo, and what are the two of them doing here 
anyway?  I didn't even think your sister liked me..."


"Akane has...difficulty warming up to some people," Kasumi said as 
tactfully as she could manage, "And Shampoo says that she is doing 
this to protect your claims as her adoptive little brother, so I don't think 
you need to worry too much that she will suddenly seek to claim you 
for her husband, even if doing so might well please her Elder."


"Oh yeah," Ranma blushed a bit, glancing to see the wizened old 
Amazon leader standing off to the side studying everyone with a 
typically inscrutable expression, "That what about that Kaori girl?  
What's her angle here?  I mean...I don't even know her, I can't believe 
that she wants to make me her husband just on the basis of a promise."


"That is because your father takes promises too lightly, Ranma-kun," 
Kasumi assured him, "Not everyone else in the world is like that.  
Some girls are very traditional in their orientation, and I believe that 
she takes the word of her father very seriously, and since he promised 
her to you at such a very young age..."


"Oh yeah," Ranma sighed with bleak sarcasm, "Lucky me.  For all we 
know she's probably got warts or something...I mean, why else wear a 
heavy garment like that on a hot day like this?  I mean, what's she got 
hide anyhow?"


"Probably nothing," Kasumi remarked, allowing a faint trace of 
vexation to disturb her normally tranquil expression, "Though I will 
concede to you that she is a puzzle..."


"...I just can't stand how smug he is," Akane continued to fume as the 
people hosting the race passed along wooden boxes containing hot 
bowls of ramen, one to each competitor, "I mean, why do girls go for a 
jerk like that?  He's even more stuck-up than...Kuno."


"You sure it ain't jealousy talking, Sugar?" Ukyo asked in some 
amusement as she accepted her own delivery box.


"Jealousy?" Akane blinked, "Over him?"


"Over how smooth Ranchan is with the ladies," Ukyo allowed a bit of 
her own irritation to show through in her voice, "He doesn't even have 
to work at getting their attention and they melt all over him.  Bet you 
wish you were able to get a reaction like that in your pick-ups."


"Grow up," Akane sniffed, "I don't need an edge when it comes to 
dating girls.  Most guys are such jerks that they girls in our school are 
always willing to come to me for advice, and I always counsel them 
that there are plenty of alternatives to using boys to satisfy all of your 
emotional needs."


"I'll just bet you do, Sugar," Ukyo's voice dripped a few degrees of 
Celsius and she was no longer looking quite so amused, "Ever use the 
Force to 'nudge' 'em a bit to your way of thinking?"


"No!" Akane was visibly shocked at the question, "Never."


"Never?" Ukyo asked skeptically.


"No way!" Akane declared, "I told you, I don't need an edge when it 
comes to other women.  I just need the gifts that Mother Nature 
intended...that and some handy techniques that I picked up along the 
way from reading a few books and studying some fairly risqué Manga 
that helped me to work out the opening moves, and a lot of trial and 
error."


"On the job experience, huh?" Ukyo asked with a raised eyebrow.


"Oh yeah," Akane rolled her eyes, "Plenty of trial and a whole lot of 
errors..."


"And you never once thought of using your Jedi tricks to 'convince' 
them to like you?" Ukyo frowned with even more intense skepticism 
in her voice.


It was Shampoo who chose to answer that one, "Using the Force to 
seduce young girl is way of Dark side, Ucchan.  No need use power to 
cloud womans minds to get inside pants, just need know right 
technique make girl enjoy warrior's attention."


As she said this she slyly ran a hand up Ukyo's side, causing a 
shivering wave of intensely FUN sensations to creep up along the 
other girl's spin.  Ukyo gasped and flinched with an anxious glance to 
either side as though fearing that someone would notice this, then 
flushed furiously and hissed, "Don't ever do that when we're in a 
public place!  What, you want people to think that we're a bunch of 
weirdoes?"


"Why should it matter to you what they think about us, Ucchan?" 
Akane coyly smiled, lilting her voice to make her affection the more 
obvious, "It's not like any of them are gonna do something about it."


"That's not the point and you know it," Ukyo bristled slightly, "And 
stop trying to avoid the subject here.  I'm asking you point blank if 
you've ever used the Force to have you way with somebody.  After all, 
knowing how you feel about guys, what's to stop you from 
'convincing' your girlfriends that they're better off without them?"


"Ucchan," Akane sighed in mild exasperation, "Just how powerful do 
you think I am anyway?"


"Huh?" Ukyo asked, "I don't..."


"I might try and 'persuade' a girl that she's better off without a boy in 
her life," Akane allowed a note of bitterness to creep into her tone as 
she added, "But I can't make them stop noticing boys, any more than I 
can change the rules of basic biology.  Sooner or later, no matter how 
close I get to another girl, or even if I score with her, sooner or later 
some guy comes traipsing along wagging his dick in her face and my 
girlfriends go all puppy-dog like and dovey-eyed and the next thing 
you know they're trotting along after them just asking to get their 
feelings hurt.  I mean...honestly...you think I've never been tempted?  I 
just know for a fact that if I tried to 'convince' a girl like that it 
wouldn't be too effective."


"You sure about that?" Ukyo asked with a raised eyebrow.


"Positive," Akane sulked, "Unless a girl's completely same-sex 
oriented she'll always harbor a hope that the next guy who comes 
along will be 'Mr. Right,' and it's so disgusting!  I can accept losing a 
girl to another girl, but not to some jerk who will stomp all over her 
heart and treat her like a doormat.  That's the risk you take dating other 
Bisexuals, you know...they're more promiscuous even than men!  They 
enjoy sex too much and can't wait to dip into the candle wax with the 
next cute stud who comes along.  Real Lesbians---and I've known a 
few---don't play the field that much and when they latch onto 
somebody they become real steady.  You can't even pry them apart 
with a crowbar!"


"I find that hard to believe," Ukyo blinked, "But aren't you...?"


"I'd have said yes...if it wasn't for Tofu-Sensei," Akane glanced away, 
"He's the only guy I know who ever made me feel something special, 
but he doesn't even know that I exist..."


"Aiyaa," Shampoo sighed, "Tell this one about it..."


Akane straightened her shoulders then and said, "But I'm all over him 
now...in fact, I've decided that I'm through playing around.  It's time 
that I went steady with someone, and I've decided that it's going to be 
you, Ucchan..."


"Me?" Ukyo blinked, "But..."


"You're special," Akane favored the other girl with an affectionate 
regard, "I may have only known you for a little while, but you make 
me feel good, and being with you in bed is like pure magic.  So, unless 
Shampoo here wants to stake a claim on you..."


"This one very tempted," Shampoo gave a friendly leer at Ukyo before 
adding, "But this one willing to relinquish claim to little sister, Akane, 
and wish you all that is best with Ucchan."


"Hey," Ukyo gulped, "Don't I get a say in this...?"


Just then the announce called out, "LADIES, TAKE YOUR PLACES 
AT THE STARTING LINE!  THE RACE IS ABOUT TO 
COMMENCE!"


"That's our cue," Akane said as she took her place along the front row 
of the competitors, "Just remember, Ucchan, I'm not in this race for 
Ranma, just the Ramen...and I'm gonna win to protect you and my 
sisters from having to marry that baka, Ranma."


"Uhuh," Ukyo said softly as she, too, lined up with Shampoo, the 
Tendo sisters and the others, noticing that Kaori was crouching low 
just a few paces off to the side, "And you want me just as long as the 
novelty holds up, right?  I mean...until the next cute thing comes along 
to wiggle her ass in front of you..."


"How can you say that?" Akane sniffed, "Okay, maybe in the past I've 
been a bit...flighty...but now I'm ready to settle down with you, so as 
far as I'm concerned other women no longer even exist for me..."


"READY---GET SET---!" the announcer called out.


All at once Kaori sprang into the air, attracting everyone's attention as 
she tossed her kimono-like wedding gown to the side and revealed 
herself in all her radiant glory, doing a near-impossible summersault 
with the sun against her outline and performing a double-side kick 
before descending back to Earth dressed in nothing but a leotard that 
left very little of her lush, well-trimmed body to the imagination.


And her face?  One look at her exquisitely aristocratic features and 
half the male population in attendance of this race went weak in the 
knee, the other half merely stupefied into a state of numbness.  The 
effect shocked even Ukyo, who only recently had become aware of the 
power of an attractive face upon the male or female hormones, 
understanding at once why Kaori had been concealing her good looks 
until the very last minute as the effect that she created was an excellent 
bit of psychological intimidation.


"Whoah," Akane said at last, as clearly affected by Kaori's looks as 
anyone else present.


Ukyo glared at her and said, "I rest my case."


Nabiki found her own mouth hanging open until she heard somebody 
else say, "I don't see any warts on her, not that there's much room to 
hide one..."


"Oh my," Kasumi remarked, not only taken by the beauty of the other 
girl but by the strong sense of a powerful battle aura as she mentally 
"checked out" Kaori to confirm her own suspicions.  Sure enough 
there was robust health and a strong sense of Ki in this other girl, and 
the Force was strong within her, meaning that---knowingly or not---
Kaori could tap into it with great ease to bolster her physical abilities.


Her father was far less sanguine at this discover, sputtering out, 
"But...what...how?"


Mister Daikoku laughed out loud at the other man's reaction, "You 
never suspected it, did you?  My Kaori is a champion at Martial Arts 
Take-Out Delivery, Tendo-san.  It was an art pioneered by our 
ancestors in feudal times when we had to practice self-defense to make 
deliveries in rough areas that were prone to bandits.  Our art always 
stresses quick and immediate results so that the food is always served 
fresh and warm to the customer regardless of the obstacles that must 
be overcome along the way."


To further make the point, Kaori uncovered her own wooden box to 
reveal that the ramen noodles within were still steaming hot without a 
drop being spilled.  This fact impressed even Nabiki, who had been 
mindful on the lookout for hidden tricks and deceptions but had not 
detected any direct Force manipulation employed to achieve this.


"Big deal," Ukyo scowled, finally recovering from her surprise as a 
wave of resentment helped her to clear her thinking, "My family's had 
a similar tradition for countless generations, and there's no way that 
the Kuonji school is going to concede anything to the Daikoku clan."


"We will see about that," Kaori herself replied with a condescending, 
aloof stare directed towards Ukyo and the rest of her 'rivals,' adding in 
sweet undertone, "Saotome Ranma is already as good as mine."


"You actually want him?" Akane turned a dismayed look towards the 
auburn-haired beauty.


"Of course," Kaori replied, "Honor dictates that I marry the man my 
father has chosen, and in doing so I will become co-heir of the 
Daikoku fortune.  My father needs a son to inherit his title and the 
company name, and I need to produce heirs to pass along our legacy, 
even as you intend to do for your poor school.  And besides...this boy 
looks to be very manly and virile, and since all of you are willing to 
compete for him, except for the Tomboy..."


"Hey!" Akane protested.


"I meant the other Tomboy," Kaori replied, "The one you've been 
outrageously flirting with, the one who looks as much like a boy for all 
her protests to the contrary."


"HEY!" Ukyo bridled.


"But you no even know little brother, Ranma," Shampoo pointed out, 
"How you know you even like him?"


"I can learn to like such a young man of prospects," Kaori reasoned, 
"Especially since he seems like so much raw clay waiting to be 
molded in the hands of the right woman."


"HEY!!!" this time it was Nabiki who exploded in protest.


"Oh my," Kasumi herself remarked, sensing that this contest would be 
far from easy."


The man with the starter's pistol belatedly remembered what he was 
there for and straightened out again before raising his gun and calling 
out, "ALL CONTESTANTS---GET READY---GET SET---GO!!!"


And with the crack of a starter's pistol they were off and running, the 
Tendo sisters, Ukyo, Shampoo and Kaori taking the early lead while 
the rest of the contestants struggled to pick up the pace in the wake of 
these contending rivals.  Left behind was the bewildered object of 
everyone's frenzy, who shook his head after a moment and said, 
"HEY!  Wait a minute!  What does she mean she wants to mold me?"


"Never mind, Son," he heard his father remark, "Who can understand 
women?"


Trieste only glanced at the elder Saotome in mild annoyance before 
turning to Cologne and saying, "Elder...I have a very bad feeling about 
this."


"As do I," Cologne responded, "I think that we should study the 
outcome of this race very thoroughly, just to insure that everyone 
performs entirely above-board."


"My thoughts exactly," the Jedi Knight somberly agreed, "Let us move 
along ahead to the next transition point in this race, shall we?"


"Agreed," and without anyone but Ranma being the wiser the two 
Elders moved off and melted away from the crowd, to take to the 
rooftops with an astonishing leap that vastly exceeded the speed of a 
land bound racer.


After only a fraction of a second of hesitation, Ranma decided to do 
likewise, his own intense concerns about the outcome of this race 
adding lift to his strides as he raced to see which girl would take the 
early lead in the competition, and dreading to know if the "right" ones 
would long remain within the running.  If anything went 
wrong...well...he had a contingency plan of his own already churning 
in the back of his mind, and an alternative racer's outfit that he had 
stashed away in advance of possibly needing such a fall-back.


It was not like him to usually plan ahead in a match, but with the odds 
this high he knew he could not stand idle and allow things to proceed 
at their own natural rate of progress.  After all, it was in his nature to 
always take the lead in any battle, and the last thing he wanted to do 
was be left out of a match that had the words "Martial Arts" in it, a fact 
that made the Saotome school unrivaled for audacity...even if the 
principle heir of such a Ryu had to "finagle" things a bit to insure an 
acceptable outcome...though whichever girl that might be even he 
could not say for absolute certain.


He only knew that he did not want either Akane or Kaori to win this 
match, the former for obvious reasons while the latter...well...there was 
something about her smile that was unpleasantly chilling.  As for the 
others...Shampoo was his friend and he trusted her, while Ukyo...he 
was not so certain, but with the older Tendo girls, either Nabiki or 
Kasumi...there he was even less certain and just a little bit nervous.  If 
either of them won the right to be his fiancée...well...he would have to 
deal with that when and if it happened, but the thought of either Tendo 
sister possibly winding up as his wife...made him feel extremely funny 
about that, and not necessarily in a bad way either.


Whatever the case might be, he had to get to the next point quickly, 
and so he took to the rooftops with bounding leaps that easily matched 
his Jedi Knight Sensei and the Amazon Elder, making good time 
racing against time over fences and rooftops, all the while dreading the 
need to become directly involved in having to choose his own fiancée, 
not wanting to have to take a side as he sensed that choosing one girl 
would be to invite catastrophe with the other, which made him marvel 
at the unbelievable notion that there were guys, like Kuno, who even 
wanted to become engaged to a girl in the first place...


And if it was not for the two older Tendo sisters, and Ucchan, he 
would have gladly told them that they were welcome to the field, and 
his pity to those who tried to make a conquest of the likes of someone 
like Tendo Akane...




Continued.


Comments/Criticisms/Ramen Delivery Runs: 
shadowmane@ridgenet.net


The race is on, but who will take the prize in this competition, and will 
Ranma be able to live with the outcome?  Be with us next time as 
Kaori struts her stuff in: "Run for the Ramen," or, "The Take-Out 
Specialist of Love!"  Be there!






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