Jedi Kasumi


(A Ranma/Star Wars Crossover)


by
Jim Robert Bader


(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi
& George Lucas, with further inspiration
provided by Brandon Kelley & Bill Guiroff)


Episode Twenty-Three.
(Well Beyond the Age of Legal Consent in Japan,
Under Seventeen Get Out of the Pool!)



Hail To The Thief!



The Saga So Far:



Having accepted
the challenge of Kaori
Daikoku, Kasumi and Nabiki
have agreed to participate in the
Martial Arts Take-Out Delivery Race,
competing against the likes of Akane, Ukyo,
Shampoo for both a year of Ramen and the right
to be Ranma's iinazuke...


Akane, who---unlike
either of her older sisters,
has no interest in Ranma and is
chasing after Ukyo---has joined the race
to prevent Ukyo from pressing her claim as
Ranma's original iinazuke, while Ukyo is in this
as a matter of pride, the former Sith Padawan not yet
ready to surrender her claim in favor of Akane...


Shampoo, who also
disavows interest in her
Adoptive "little brother," is
Allied with Akane in their mutual
Wish to "persuade" Ukyo to surrender
her claim in favor of the Tendo sisters,
but her real interest is in no other than the
Good doctor Tofu...


Paired against them
is Kaori, who means to
fulfill the wishes of her father
that she might inherit the Daikoku
fortune, is not above using unfair means
to obtain her desires, but will that be enough
to give her a fighting edge against the Jedi-trained
Tendo sisters?  Read on and you will find out...!






"Oh, Ukyo..." Ryoga sighed, "Why am I such an idiot around you?  
Why can't I ever speak openly and honestly with you?  We've been 
through so much together, but you barely even know I exist, and small 
wonder.  I'm such a coward even our Master has cast me out and 
exiled us from his Ryu..."


Feeling depressed, confused, and generally quite lost was nothing new 
for Hibiki Ryoga, but of late he had been feeling lost in more than just 
the sense of general direction and location.  His great purpose in life, 
revenge against Saotome Ranma, had been momentarily sidetracked 
out of necessity, his pledge to Cologne to abide by a truce as terms for 
having a roof (at least part of the time) over his head.  He did it to be 
closer to Ukyo, a fellow Sith Apprentice who had featured most 
prominently in his thoughts of late, and the more time that he spent 
around her the more convinced he was that his interest in her 
superceded any other thoughts, obligations or commitments.


"I'm such a fool," he sighed forlornly, "If Master Purge could hear me 
now he'd call me weak for obsessing about you, but I no longer care 
about any of that.  If only you could know how much I care about you, 
and what a waste it is for you to spend even a moment longing for 
Ranma, who ignores and spurns you in favor of the Jedi-Trained 
Tendo sisters..."


Thoughts of Ranma rekindled his old, undiminished anger, and the 
waves of his hate congealed around him momentarily as he reflected 
upon his promised vengeance against the bane of his existence.  One 
day soon, pledge to abide a truce or not, he would crush the life out of 
Ranma and put an end to his perfidy, working his way into the Tendo 
house and seducing the two older daughters of the unsuspecting 
parents.  If only they knew what a base betrayer and treacherous scum 
Ranma truly was they would know just why Ryoga had vowed to 
destroy him.  It was not just the bread thing, not even being pushed 
into Jusenkyo that enraged Ryoga and made him want to dedicate 
himself to the demise of his hated enemy.  It was more even than the 
broken promise of a fight that fueled his righteous wrath.  It was 
discovering the line of broken pledges and promises that the Saotomes 
had left in their wake that had convinced Ryoga that his rival was the 
basest of scum ever imagined.  Time and again he had found himself 
being mistaken for Saotome Ranma, and always it was someone like 
Ukyo who was demanding remuneration.  At least six fiancées and a 
string of unpaid bills attended the winding trail of unfulfilled 
obligations, proving that the Saotome men had no sense of honor, that 
their given word was worth less than sand on a desert wind.


And the worst of it was that Ryoga often wound up having to settle 
accounts for his rival before being at liberty to move on to his next 
location.  At least, however, the Hibiki name still stood for something 
noble, and Ryoga always paid his debts one way or the other.  If 
anything, Ranma owed him for the sweat and labor that Ryoga had 
been forced to undergo, the worst example being that unscheduled 
visit to the Amazon village that had proven to be both embarrassing 
and life-threatening.  But still Ryoga had his own sense of integrity, 
something even Purge had failed to make him surrender.  It was the 
one element of pride that maintained his spirits and kept him going 
when his resolve began to flag, that he was better than his rival, a far 
better and more trustworthy man than a double-dealing snake like 
Saotome Ranma.


And yet, for the sake of Ukyo, Ryoga was willing to stay his hand and 
hold back on seeking his vengeance.  It was not just a pledge to the 
Old Woman that he would abide in peace while residing under her 
roof, it was the certain knowledge that avenging himself upon Ranma 
would be misinterpreted by Ukyo, and might even alienate her against 
him.  She still had some incomprehensible desire to force Ranma to 
live up to the terms of his broken promise, an infuriating need for self-
justification that Ryoga knew was doomed to failure.  Saotome would 
never fulfill the terms of a spoken agreement given by his back-
stabbing panda-father, and he would hardly even look at Ukyo the way 
she wanted him to see her, as someone who had gone through hell 
(much like Ryoga) and sacrificed everything in the name of her own 
vengeance.  Why then was Ukyo setting herself up to take a fall all 
over again?  It made no sense to Ryoga, and hence he wandered in his 
thoughts, as lost as the moment when the Old Woman had sent him to 
the store room in search of dry produce.


"Where am I now?" he asked forlornly, thinking that the street where 
he was standing looked a bit familiar, though it could just as well be 
any street in the suburbs of any major Japanese city.  He knew that it 
was Japan since there were street signs in both Romani and Kanji.  
More often than not the signs were in a language that he was not 
familiar with, though he generally could make himself understood to 
the locals when he went in search of directions.


"Why does this happen to me?" Ryoga asked for the umpteenth time, a 
question for which he never found an answer, "Why can't I find what 
I'm looking for when I want to find it?  I thought studying the Force 
would help me out in that, but I still can't seem to get where I need to 
go, and at this rate I'm never going to find Ukyo, and I just know that 
she will need me..."


"Ryoga?" a voice called out from what sounded like a very far 
distance.


"Ah...Ukyo," Ryoga sighed, "It's almost as though I could hear your 
voice..."


"Ryoga, what are you doing?" the voice cried out frantically, sounding 
a LOT closer than before, "Get out of the road, you stupid Jackass!"


"It's been so long since you called me that, I...huh?" Ryoga paused, 
aware of a curious trembling sensation that he felt through the soles of 
his feet, as though the ground beneath him were shaking...shaking 
from the force of a stampede, and as he thought that he felt the alarm 
bells going off in the back of his head.


The Force made him aware that he was facing mortal danger, and 
automatically he turned and looked back over one shoulder...and his 
eyes went wide with an instant of panic, seeing a wall of WOMEN 
bearing down on him like an avalanche, which briefly put him in mind 
of a local riot he had kind-of-accidentally started in some Middle 
Eastern village, only the sea of Japanese girls heading his way would 
have put the fear of Allah into the hearts of the sternest Mouhajadeem 
who ever drew breath...


And then the stampede was upon him, leaving Ryoga little time to do 
more than throw up his hands in a classic warding manner, knowing as 
he did so that he was about to be stomped flat by the horde bearing 
down upon him and with little more that he could do about it than to 
pray furiously to the Kami...


"Ryoga!" Ukyo almost gave herself a case of whiplash as she whipped 
her head around, glancing anxiously at the hapless Lost Boy even as 
he went down under the tide that she was a part of.


"Huh?" Akane turned a curious look in the same direction, "That was 
him?  What was he doing here?"


"Aiyaa," Shampoo averred, "Is too, too bad...even Sith like him no 
deserve go down like that."


As the wave of female competitors receded, Ranma dropped down 
from a nearby rooftop and knelt down before Ryoga, "Hey, you okay 
man?  You look like you need some hospitalization..."


"Uh...I'm just fine," Ryoga weakly responded, looking very much like 
road kill while the stars and constellations did a nice ballet inside his 
head, "...no problem..."


"Okay," Ranma said dubiously, "I gotta run now, but just sit tight and 
I'm sure you'll feel better in another few moments.  Seeya!"


And with that Ranma turned and vaulted back to a local rooftop, 
taking off at a run to catch up and pace the charging competitors as he 
spotted Ukyo near the lead with the other girls, Nabiki and Kasumi 
holding the point with lots of other girls following on their heels as the 
race got down into serious earnest.  There were over a hundred of them 
in all, varying in ages, sizes, backgrounds and social class, all gathered 
to win a years supply of Ranma though---in a few specific cases---
even larger issues were hanging in the balance.


Ukyo was right then feeling torn with the desire to go to the aid of her 
fellow Sith Apprentice, but as the thought entered her mind she heard 
Kaori remark, "Worry for yourself, unless you'd like to drop out to 
look after your friend.  We have a race to run and he should have 
noticed the warning signs instead of just standing there like a baka."


Ukyo firmed her resolve at that and turned a glare at the fleet-footed 
Kaori, gritting her teeth and growling, "He's not my friend, and I'll rip 
your hair out by the roots if you say that to me again, Sugar."


"A challenge, eh?" Kaori smiled, "What say we make things 
interesting then?  DELIVERY CASE CRUSH!"


"What?" Ukyo sensed an attack and immediately dodged out of the 
way even as Kaori shot a hand towards her rival's delivery box, only to 
miss and shatter the box belonging to another contestant who had been 
passing by on a Moped.  Kaori made another finger-stab for Ukyo's 
box but hit the box belonging to another contestant who had been 
advancing just to the left side of Shampoo, who---like Akane---had 
instinctively dodged to protect their own delivery boxes.


"You're quick, I'll give you that," Kaori mused while resuming the race 
and easily pacing herself against the other contestants nearest to them, 
"Not many could dodge the attack of the Daikoku school special 
delivery attack..."


"You're cheating!" Akane protested.


"This is anything goes, no rules," Kaori insisted, "If you can't protect 
your boxes then you don't belong in this race...Sugar."


"Oh yeah?" Ukyo bristled, "Well, in that case, try THIS!"


Her hand drew one of her throwing spatulas and she let it fly towards 
Kaori, who yelped as she got her own box out of the way, only to see 
the mini-spatula spin and strike the box of the next person over.


"Two can play at game," Shampoo smiled, sensing an opening as she 
made a gesture with a hand that caused a wave of Force to lash out in 
Kaori's direction, only the latter girl vaulted high into the air as three 
other competitors tumbled over as though swept by a wind off of their 
feet.


"You think going airborne's a smart move around us?" Akane leered, 
summoning up the power of the Force with both of her hands as she 
visualized an invisible cushion for the brown-haired Kaori to fall upon 
with a gentle "Woof!"  She then held the other girl suspended in the air 
while slowing her own pace in order to maintain her concentration.


"What are you---HOW are you doing this?" Kaori struggled.


"Trade secret," Akane grinned, enjoying the sight of the helpless girl 
trapped in free-fall, "Are you gonna give up now and stop being such a 
bitch around Ucchan?"


Kaori bristled and called down, "I don't care what tricks you have up 
your sleeve, you won't hold Daikoku Kaori in your grasp for long!"


"Oh, it doesn't have to be for long," Akane chuckled, making subtle 
finger-motions with her hands, "Just long enough to calm you down 
and make you see reason..."


Kaori's eyes went wide, for it felt to her as though invisible hands were 
suddenly playing about with her body.  She struggled in their invisible 
grip but the sense of helplessness set her into a momentary panic.


"What are you doing?" Ukyo called out from over her shoulder.


"Ah...huh?" Akane suddenly snapped out of her playful move as 
though only just then becoming aware that what she was doing might 
seem...improper to certain parties.  At once she lowered her hands and 
allowed Kaori to drop lightly to the ground, a somewhat bewildered 
expression on the other girl's face as she eyed Akane with a look of 
trepidation.


"Ah...sorry about that," Akane winced, "Forgot myself for a moment 
there...you know how it is..."


"No, I don't," Kaori glared, "But if you try it again you will suffer the 
consequences."


"Aw, come on," Akane complained, "Don't be like that...I was only 
joking!"


"And I did not find it the least bit funny," Kaori sneered before turning 
about with her delivery case in hand and resuming her pace, trying to 
catch up with the other competitors of the delivery race.


"Jeez, some people just don't have a sense of humor," Akane winced as 
she picked up her own delivery box and took off after Kaori and the 
others.


Shampoo turned to Ukyo and said, "Is very sorry, Little Sister 
sometime forget self...this one thinks she needs work on discipline..."


"She's a piece of work all right," Ukyo snorted, "And to think, she 
wants me to trust her..."


Farther back at the starting line, Trieste heaved a tired sigh and said, "I 
blame myself, truly...I have been sorely lacking as a teacher."


"Don't be too hard on yourself," Cologne advised, "You have been 
away for a time and quite obviously have not been around to guide the 
youngest Tendo sister.  I am impressed with her raw potential myself, 
but I've known from the moment that I laid eyes on her that Tendo 
Akane is a great handful for those who care about her."


"Tell me what I don't already know, Elder," Kimiko sighed, "I've tried 
to work with Akane, to guide her on the proper path of a young lady, 
and Soun and I have tried not to meddle too much in her personal 
life...but..."


"But sometimes she goes a little too far even for us," Soun concluded 
for his wife, "And then we have to speak to the parents of one of her 
classmates.  It...is quite distressing, really..."


"Then it is long since time that I called her to accounts for her 
behavior," Trieste grimly resolved, "I was prepared to grant her the 
benefit of the doubt, but if she has been misusing her Jedi powers..."


"My Lady Trieste?" a familiar male voice asked.


"Oh?" Trieste had sensed the presence of the young man by his strong 
aura and now turned to acknowledge his presence with a polite nod, 
"Tatewaki.  I thought you might attend this match, but I was expecting 
to see your sister as a competitor."


"She...withdrew rather suddenly," Kuno Tatewaki replied, "She did not 
explain why to me, but I believe that she is...troubled about 
something."


"Something that she would not confide to you?" Trieste asked, only to 
see a nod of affirmation, "I see...well, perhaps I should talk to her as 
well.  It has been a while since I paid my respects to your parents..."


"Actually...Sensei," Kuno spoke respectfully, "I have a question which 
I need to ask you."


"Is it important?" Kimiko asked the polite young man, "We are trying 
to concentrate on the race, Tatewaki..."


"This will take but a moment, Lady Tendo," Kuno assured them, "But 
I must know...is this...competition...about something more than a 
year's supply of Ramen?"


"Yes," Nodoka smiled broadly, "My son's fiancées are competing in 
the match, and the one who wins gets to be my future daughter-in-
law...isn't that exciting?"


Kuno registered a moment of alarm, "Um...excuse me?"


"My son is very popular with the ladies," Genma boasted, "They're all 
but beating down the doors to get engaged to him..."


"Yes," Kimiko frowned, "And we know who we have to thank for that, 
don't we?"


"That Ranma boy is quite the charmer with the ladies," Master 
Happosai suddenly spoke up, alerting everyone else to his presence, 
"Not only does he have that cute Kuonji girl after him, but all three of 
the Tendo girls and that Hubba-Hubba Amazon babe, Shampoo..."


Cologne glared at her fellow tertiary centarian and growled dryly, 
"Don't you have some lingerie to chase after, Happy?"


"Whoops!" the little man declared in shock, "You're right, and it's 
getting away from me even as we speak!  Gotta go now!  Bye!"


"Good thinking," Trieste noted to Cologne, "That should keep him 
busy."


"I...I..." Kuno had to swallow before he could speak coherently once 
again, "All...three...Tendo sisters?  Do you mean to say 
that...Kasumi...?"


"Is one of those pursuing an active engagement with my son," Nodoka 
all but hugged herself with motherly pride, "My son is so manly!"


"Kasumi?" Kuno sounded as though he could not believe his ears, 
"Kasumi...seeks to be engaged...with Saotome Ranma?"


"I am afraid so, Tatewaki," Trieste replied, "I am sorry if this upsets 
you, but the truth of the matter is that Kasumi is one of those who is 
competing to marry Saotome Ranma."


"He will marry one of our little girls," Soun declared firmly, as though 
there were no other conceivable outcome, "And they will carry on the 
Anything Goes tradition..."


"Not so fast, Tendo-san," Mr. Daikoku confidently grinned, "Your 
girls have yet to defeat Kaori, and my daughter is the heir to the Seven 
Lucky Gods Martial Arts School of Delivery Take out..."


"Seven Lucky Gods you say?" Cologne mused softly, adding in 
undertone, "I wonder if Lord Kirin knows about this...?"


"Who is Kaori?" Tatewaki scowled, then added briskly, "Never 
mind...but...I had thought Saotome Ranma was engaged to marry your 
middle daughter, Nabiki...?"


"That matter has not yet been decided," Kimiko explained, "It remains 
for my older daughters to decide for themselves which of them will be 
first wife for Ranma."


"Never!" Kuno suddenly exclaimed, "I will not allow this!"


"Tatewaki..." Trieste attempted to explain.


"I will not hear any more words on this, My Lady," Kuno declared as 
he turned away, "If Kasumi has been deceived into courting the 
wretch, then he will learn what it is to meddle in the affairs of his 
better."


There was silence for a moment, then Nodoka said, "Oh my...is he 
planning to challenge my son over Kasumi?  How romantic."


"I had better have a word with him over this," Trieste murmured.


"I think you had better not wait around on this," Kimiko urged, "As we 
both well know, these things do have a way of spiraling out of control 
if we let them."


"My son has little to fear from him," Genma dismissed, "He's a 
weapons user, and that's nothing to the Anything Goes system.'


"Indeed," Soun agreed, "One may train in the use of weapons, but it is 
a mistake to rely upon them.  That was central to the Master's 
teachings."


"I would not be so quick to make declarations such as that if I were 
you," Cologne cautioned, "A man spurned at love can be dangerous in 
ways that are difficult to anticipate, and I would not put it past young 
Kuno to rise upon himself in the pursuit of what he deems as his 
territory..."


Meanwhile, further ahead in the race, the older Tendo sisters, Nabiki 
and Kasumi, were easily holding their place at the lead, being 
sustained by the Force and exceptionally well trained in managing 
their personal resources.  In truth they could have raced each other to 
the finish line within half the time of the other competitors, but for 
appearance sake they had to make it seem as though they were 
struggling just to keep even.


"You are doing very well, Imotochan," Kasumi remarked as she and 
Nabiki held common pace with one another.


"Thanks, Oneechan," Nabiki replied, "You're not doing too bad 
yourself, but I'm still going to win, you know."


"If that is what you wish," Kasumi replied, "By the way, obstacles 
ahead."


"Right," Nabiki replied as the course turned in towards the local park, 
"I'm on it..."


"Look at those two," Ukyo growled, laboring much harder to keep up, 
"They're making it look too easy..."


"Big sister and middle sister very strong, very good runners," 
Shampoo agreed, "Could win easy, like Shampoo, but no want to 
make other girls look bad."


"Oh yeah?" Ukyo bristled, "Well, I'm nobody's charity case, so they'd 
better watch out, because I'm taking them on now!"


"Admirable sentiments," Kaori mused as she caught up with the both 
of them, "But first you have to get by me...FISH CAKE 
BLIZZARD!!!"


"What, you again?" Ukyo winced as she dodged an attack that came 
rather unexpectedly, Kaori using a pair of chopsticks to pluck the 
ramen out of a competitor's bowl and hurl it like a lethal snake in 
Ukyo's direction.


"Aiyaa, not this again!" Shampoo exclaimed, sensing an attack as 
Kaori turned and tried to strike her box with her chop-sticks, 
"Shampoo think time to teach you lesson!"


With that the purple haired Amazon lashed out with a hand aimed 
directly for Kaori herself, two fingers poised to press against one of 
her pressure points, only to be warded at the last instant by Kaori's 
chopsticks.


"What did you think you were going to accomplish with such a weak 
attack?" Kaori wondered.


Shampoo just smiled and said, "Look at box."


"Eh?" Kaori asked, only to widen her eyes in horror as she saw her 
box explode, exposing the Ramen bowl, which hovered in mid-air as 
though untouched by the explosion.  With a yelp she scooped it up 
before the precious contents could be spilled then backed away with a 
wary look turned towards her purple haired opponent.


"Hah, nice moves Shampoo," Akane grinned as she came up to join 
them, "Not so slick now are we, Daikoku-san?  You might care to 
surrender now to save face if you like..."


"Surrender?" Kaori bristled, "To the likes of you?  Never!"


"This one hope you say that," Shampoo grinned, and then she rushed 
forward and cried, "Attack of a thousand fingers!"


"Wha...?" Kaori yelped, moving her chopsticks rapidly to fend off 
what seemed like a solid wave of finger-thrusts that the Purple Haired 
Wonder hurled in her general direction.


"Wow," Akane admired the smoothness of her Amazon friend's rapid 
thrusts, impressed by her speed and general coordination, though she 
was equally amazed to see that Kaori managed to fend off these 
attacks with a speed that was almost blinding...


Meanwhile Nabiki and Kasumi had easily negotiated the obstacle 
course that loomed up in the path of the runners, avoiding pit-falls and 
other traps that claimed many a contending rival, which greatly cleared 
the way and left them the clear favorites as they came up upon the 
half-point flag post.


"Halfway there to victory!" Nabiki called out, sparing much needed 
breath to make this announcement.


"And the finish line is back the way we have come," Kasumi agreed, 
her breathing as easy and casual as her movements, which did not 
appear too hurried as they marked the returning track that lay before 
them.


Nabiki chanced to glance back at her older sister, feeling conflicting 
emotions of pride and resentment that Kasumi was staying so close on 
her heels that they were practically running alongside each other.  She 
knew that Kasumi was holding back, just as much as she was, but that 
if it were a serious race then they could both rush ahead with a burst of 
Force-enhanced energy.  Doing so, however, might reveal to outsiders 
the extent of their abilities, which Trieste always insisted should be a 
closely guarded matter, and so they held back most of their energies in 
reserve with Kasumi deliberately yielding the lead to Nabiki, which 
was either characteristically generous or just a bit on the side of 
sisterly condescension.


"Hey Sis," Nabiki frowned, "After I win this, why don't we have a real 
race, just the two of us with nobody else watching."


"I would enjoy running with you at any time that you like, Nabiki," 
Kasumi replied, "Remember when we used to train like this all of the 
time?"


Nabiki did remember those carefree days of their youth when she and 
her sisters had only been mildly competitive with each other, though it 
was usually against Akane that she preferred to compete, Kasumi 
always being the acknowledged senior student with both of her 
younger sisters coming in a close second.  This time was different, 
however, and not just because they were contending for the right to be 
engaged to a young man whom they both favored...


"Heads up, you two!" another voice called out, alerting both Tendo 
sisters that they had a third competitor bearing down on them, and 
without needing to turn around they both recognized the new arrival as 
Ukyo, who had boosted her own speed to make up for their lead time.


"Kuonji-san," Kasumi acknowledged without turning around.


"Yeah, Me," Ukyo panted, having a much harder time keeping pace 
with the two sisters, "Thought I'd dropped out...just because...I had 
that...nutjob...on my case?"


"No," Nabiki frowned in mild consternation, "But I thought maybe 
Akane might have talked you out of it, or have you given up on her 
already?"


"What?" Ukyo reacted, "Give up on her?  Are you crazy?"


"The question, which I believe Nabiki implies, is whether or not you 
are interested in winning Ranma...or our sister," Kasumi clarified, 
"Which, all else concerned, I would agree is a reasonable question."


"Are you two nuts...or something?" Ukyo bristled, "I never made 
any...declaration...like that..."


"So, which are you after?" Nabiki asked, "Ranma...or Akane?"


"What the...what kind of choice is that?" Ukyo sputtered.


"We just wanted to know where your priorities lay, that's all," Nabiki 
explained, "Or are you meaning to keep Akane guessing?"


"Get stuffed!" Ukyo growled, "I've got nothing going down between 
me and your sister!"


"Except that you have had physical relations with her," Kasumi 
pointed out, "Unless you mean to imply that Akane was forcing herself 
upon you..."


"Yeah," Nabiki agreed, "Which has been known to happen."


**I heard that!** Akane projected from where she was still hanging 
back at the side of Shampoo, who was maintaining a running battle 
against Kaori, the both of them exchanging attacks on the run with all 
the ardor of a death-match.


Ukyo winced and said, "Hey...what's going on...between me...and your 
sister...has nothing to do with this!"


"So you do intend to pursue relations with Ranma?" Kasumi asked.


"Yes!" Ukyo snapped, "Why else...do you two clowns...think that I'm 
doing this anyhow?"


"Even though you and Ranchan barely even know each other?" Nabiki 
shot back over her shoulder.


Ukyo blinked at this and said, "Uh...well..."


"And how does that make you any better than Kaori?" Kasumi 
reasoned.


"That bimbo?" Ukyo glowered, "I..."


"And how would you care to be asked the same exact question?"


All at once Nabiki, Kasumi and Ukyo halted in their tracks, finding 
they way forward cut off by the unexpected appearance of Kuno 
Tatewaki.


"Tatewaki-san?" Kasumi was the first to gasp.


"I asked you a question," Tatewaki's gaze was inscrutable as he stared 
past Nabiki towards the older Tendo sister, "I shall state it more 
clearly.  Are you, Tendo Kasumi, seeking to pursue a relationship with 
the youth named Saotome Ranma?"


"Tatewaki-san," Kasumi replied, "I..."


Kuno tossed a wooden bokken at her feet then raised his own bokken 
into the ready position and said, "Duel with me, Tendo-san.  Match 
blades with me just as we once did when we were children."


"Tachi-san..." Kasumi hesitated slightly, then made a faint declining 
gesture, "You know that I would spar with you, if that is what you 
wish, but the moment is not right for it..."


"When will it be right?" Tatewaki spoke more harshly than was his 
usual wont, "Or is it Saotome Ranma whom you would rather spar 
against?"


"Tatewaki-san," Kasumi said for the third consecutive time, "Please 
don't force the issue..."


"The issue has already been forced," Tatewaki replied without 
expression, not even turning his head as he said, "You other two may 
continue your race, the victor between you may have Saotome Ranma, 
but...I will not allow such a thing to befall you, Kasumi..."


"Tatewaki-san," Kasumi said sadly, "I respect you as a fighter, but 
please...do not make a scene here.  Do not force me to declare my 
intentions."


"Your intentions?" Tatewaki's voice arched an octave, "Do you mean 
that you reject my suit in favor of HIM?"


"Uh...look guy," Ukyo backed away, "You want her?  Fine by me.  
You can have her, just leave me out of this..."


"Tachi-san," Nabiki frowned, "What do you hope to accomplish by 
this?  You can't make Oneechan like you by fighting with her."


"No?" Tatewaki bristled, "Let us see on that front---en guarde!"


He attacked and Kasumi automatically stretched out her hand to 
telekinetically pull the other bokken into her grasp, at which point she 
deflected Kuno's attack to the side and rapidly fended off three other 
attacks that he leveled towards her, rapid-fire attacks that were 
intended to test her reflexes and defenses.


"Excellent!" Tatewaki declared as he pressed in on her with another 
renewed rapid-fire assault, "Your speed and reflexes are, if anything, 
even better than I remember..."


"So are yours," Kasumi replied. "But I really have no time for this, so I 
must end this quickly."


She accelerated the speed of her attacks and immediately drove Kuno 
on the defensive, the younger man reacting with surprise at the 
unexpected ferocity which she displayed, wholly unexpected in 
someone with such refined and demure manners.


"Oneechan?" Nabiki asked, surprised and amazed at the sight of her 
sister going all-out against a boy Nabiki's own age.


"Go ahead and cross the finish line, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi called out, 
"Win for both of us and for the sake of the Tendo clan."


"Hey!" Ukyo broke the spell of her own surprise, having been no less 
stunned at seeing Kasumi go all-out than were Nabiki or Tatewaki, 
"I'm in this for my clan too you know!"


"Oneechan," Nabiki murmured softly, then resolved to do as directed 
and turned to race towards the finish line, followed only a few steps 
behind by Ukyo, who was not about to surrender the field just yet.


Meanwhile Shampoo and Kaori were rapidly gaining ground while 
keeping up the pressure for their own rapid duel, the net effect of their 
twin special attacks being that every competitor who came near to 
them had lost their box and ramen.  Akane hovered back a bit to watch 
the show, but she became aware that Ukyo and Nabiki were 
approaching the finish line, so she called out to Shampoo, "You kick 
her butt but good, Shampoo-chan, I'm gonna run on ahead and see 
about my sisters."


"Hiyaa!" Shampoo acknowledged, thinking to herself that it was 
taking longer to defeat the other girl than she would have expected.


"You think to dismiss me just like that?" Kaori bridled with fury, 
"Very well, you force me to resort to this!  Seven Lucky Gods Martial 
Arts Special Attack---UNBREAKABLE NOODLE NOOSE!"



Akane had not gone more than three paces before Kaori scooped up 
the ramen from her bowl and  wove two lengths of rope that she sent 
spinning out towards both Shampoo and Akane, catching both girls up 
within these loops as she rapidly spun them about and wove them up 
together.


"Hah!" Kaori declared with a haughty smirk, surveying her own 
handiwork, "You two look very nice together, a very tight pair indeed, 
so it is only proper that you keep company together while I go on to 
finish my victory match.  And since you have delayed me for long 
enough, I must bid you both adieu..."


With a merry chuckle she turned about and raced towards the distant 
finish line, leaving Akane and Shampoo in a literal bind, wrapped up 
together like Siamese twin-mummies with barely enough wiggle room 
to do much more than squirm up against one another.


"Aiyaa..." Shampoo said in dismay.


"You said it," Akane winced, only to notice the effect that their 
attempts to work their way free were having on one another, "Oh the 
other hand..."


"Yes," Shampoo understood her at once, "Position does have...some 
advantages..."


"Hah, I knew it!" Kuno all but crowed as he locked blades with 
Kasumi, "All these years you have been holding back with me in our 
matches!"


"I really am not enjoying this as much as you seem to be, Tatewaki-
san," Kasumi replied, "Please desist.  I have a race to run and it is a 
matter of family honor..."


"I would never stand between you and a matter of personal honor, save 
in this one case," Tatewaki replied, "But to let you engage yourself to 
another, let alone a man who is not your equal...I am sorry, I cannot 
permit this..."


"It is not your place to decide these things for me, Tatewaki-san," 
Kasumi informed him while casually breaking the lock of their two 
wooden blades, moving to strike decisively and force him back on the 
defensive, "My life is my own to decide...I am sorry."


Kuno recovered himself and said, "No need to apologize, my Sylvan 
dove.  You could never offend me for all the spirit of your efforts.  I 
cannot gracefully surrender now while the sight of you sets my blood 
to racing.  You are everything that I desire in a mate, and I will prove 
to you that I am truly your equal."


"If you truly respected me you would not be doing this, Tatewaki-san," 
Kasumi said with deep sadness, "I do...like and respect you...but not 
the way you want.  I am sorry..."


"Then tell me why!" Kuno raged as he launched a new attack, "To pass 
over me for the sake of that callow you---OOOFFF!!!" his declaration 
was suddenly cut off by a foot that struck him in the side of this face 
and sent him sprawling in the dirt.


"Oh my," Kasumi blinked as she paused in mid-motion, then turned to 
see the redheaded firebrand who had just come to her assistance and 
asked, "Ranma-kun?"


"Call me Ranko," Ranma-chan replied as she straightened up, "Looked 
like you needed a little help dealing with this pest, and since guys can't 
take part in the fighting..."


"Guh...!" Kuno winced as he lurched back to his feet with some effort, 
"Who dares to attack the great Kuno Tatewaki...?"


"Huh?" Ranma-chan blinked, "You shrugged that off?  What the heck 
are you made of?"


"Eh?" Kuno's eyes refused to focus but he raised his sword and 
declared, "Whoever you are, how dare you interfere in a personal 
fight!  En garde, you brigand!"


"Yikes!" Ranma-chan cried as she ducked under the swing that had 
been aimed around waist-level, rolling out to the side before coming 
up again with a solid punch that caught Tatewaki under the chin and 
sent him tumbling backwards.


"Be careful, Ranma-kun," Kasumi urged, "Tatewaki can be a 
dangerous opponent when he is angered."


"No fooling," Ranma-chan blinked, seeing her foe rise up again, to 
which she grunted, "Again?  No way!"


"Ranma-kun?" Kuno snarled as he forced himself to his feet once 
more, his wooden sword at the ready, "You are the Blackguard who 
dares come between me and what I desire?  The you are the one upon 
whom I shall vent my righteous wrath!"


"Yeah, whatever," Ranma-chan replied with deceptive calm, adding on 
the sly, "Um...Kasumi, mind doing me a favor and lend me your 
stick?"


"My...stick?" Kasumi glanced down and said, "My bokken?  But...'


"Come on," Ranma-chan insisted, "Nabiki looks like she could use 
your help, and I can deal with this punk, no problem."


"Ah...very well," Kasumi said as she tossed the sword over to Ranma-
chan, who caught it one handed then held it at the ready.  With that 
Kasumi turned heels, picked up her delivery box and headed off for 
the finish line, where indeed she found Nabiki having problems, 
caught between the twin challenges of Ukyo and Kaori...


Nabiki had been within easy sight of the finish line herself when Ukyo 
declared, "Sorry to do this, Sugar, but I can't let you win like this!  
Kuonji School special attack, PASTA MANYANA!


"Pasta Manyana?" Nabiki was unable to believe that she had heard that 
right, but even as this thought crossed her mind she sensed an attack 
and took immediate evasive action, vaulting out of the way even as a 
wave of noodles roped out and came close to snagging one of her 
ankles.


"Hey!" Nabiki tumbled in mid-air and came to a one-point landing, 
confronting her assailant.


"Not too shabby, Sugar," Ukyo actually smiled in approval, "You're 
light on your feet and you've got great reflexes, but I'm still a stronger 
fighter than you, so I'll try and take it easy."


"You and what legion?" Nabiki shot back, "You wounded me once and 
I owe you for that, so come at me like that again and I'll wrap those 
noodles around your neck, Kuonji!"


"Like to see you try," Ukyo made a point of cracking her knuckles, 
"You're good, there's no doubting that, but if you think I'm gonna let a 
Jedi take away my last shot at nailing Ranchan..."


"So you really do want to marry him," Nabiki frowned slightly but did 
not tense up as she asked, "But why?"


"Why?" Ukyo frowned, "What do you mean why?"


"I mean...do you love him?" Nabiki asked.


"I...hey!" Ukyo's frown became a scowl, "I've known him longer than 
you, Tendo-san.  What makes you better qualified than me?"


"Because I like Ranma-kun, and I'm not afraid to say it either," Nabiki 
shot back, "But you don't really love him...you don't even know what 
you want in life!  You've been dumped by your teacher and you got no 
where else to go, but the only claim you have on Ranchan is because 
of what your dad and his did behind both of your backs!"


"So what has that got to do with anything?" Ukyo wondered, balling 
her fists and looking ready to start something, "It was family honor, 
just like your dad set up with his!"


"Before any of us were born," Nabiki pointed out, "Which makes my 
claim even older than yours, but that's not why I want to win Ranchan 
for myself..."


"Yeah?" Ukyo scowled, "And why is that?"


"Because Ranma means something to me," Nabiki replied, "And he 
doesn't mean anything to you!  You were trying to kill him only a few 
days ago, so what made you change your mind and decide to marry 
him?  A change of heart just because he said you were cute?"


"And how the hell would you know about that, Sugar?" Ukyo bridled.


"Oneechan told me all about it," Nabiki replied, "She trusts me, I'm her 
sister, and I care about her..." her expression went blank as though she 
only just heard her own words at that moment, then quickly covered 
up for the slight hesitation, "You don't know what it means to trust 
anybody!  You're a Sith!  You walk on the Dark side, and this neutral 
act you've got going down doesn't fool anybody."


"Y'know," Ukyo scowled, "I thought you were the smart one in the 
family, but I was wrong.  You're just damned annoying.  You think 
you can lecture me about feelings?  I can feel from here the kinds of 
emotions you're wrestling with, and you're not all sweetness and light, 
like your sister!"


It was Nabiki's turn to scowl, "Okay...so I'm not all good, so I've got 
my dark shades, so I'm not all that damned perfect.  I've still got a lot 
over you when it comes to knowing what I want, and what I want is 
someone like Ranma.  He means something to me...but what can he 
possibly mean to you?"


"He can mean a lot to me...!" Ukyo started to say, only to halt in mid-
sentence.


"Yeah?" Nabiki asked skeptically, "Such as?"


"He...he was nice to me, that's all," Ukyo's frown deepened, "All 
right...so I was...mistaken about him...so I blamed him for having an 
idiot for a father...so I was an idiot myself for thinking he betrayed me 
at the age of six...that still makes him a better man than anybody else 
I've ever run into..."


"And you want a man in your life, huh?" Nabiki made an intuitive leap 
and smiled as she added, "Because without a guy you'd have to live up 
to the fact that you enjoy having sex with my sister!"


Ukyo flinched, "But...I..."


"And not just Akane," Nabiki continued, "You've been having sex 
with Shampoo, and you enjoy it!  So, what does that make you, a 
Lesbian?  Could be you are, you know...you dress like a boy, so maybe 
you're just cruising..."


"You're cruising for a bruising, Tendo!" Ukyo grit her teeth and took a 
threatening stance, "That's it, I'm gonna pound you flat---!"


"For telling the truth about you?" Nabiki tossed an aloof look at her 
rival, "Or can you look me in the face that tell me that I'm lying?"


"I..." Ukyo tried to work herself up into a righteous wrath, but the cool, 
reserved look her rival returned to her did something that defused her 
anger, so rather than attack she found herself fuming impotently, 
trying to find a good rebuttal for the accusation.


"Tell me straight up, Kuonji," Nabiki said with neither anger nor 
contempt in her voice, "Do you like my sister, or does she just annoy 
you?  Do you hate the way she comes on to you, or do you actually 
deep-down like it?"


"And what the hell does it mean to you?" Ukyo asked indifferently, 
"You gonna punish me for having a thing with your sister?"


"Not me," Nabiki shook her head and started to relax her stance, "If 
anything I think I'm relieved that Akane might have found someone 
like you, because if there's anything my little sister needs besides a 
clue, it's someone who's strong enough to stand up to her and tell her 
when she's full of cow manure."


"Huh?" Ukyo blinked, surprised upon hearing that declaration.


"You think I don't know what Akane's like?" Nabiki asked, "Okay, 
maybe I've looked the other way, and maybe that makes me 
responsible for not trying to rein her in and tell her that she pushes 
things too far, but maybe Akane just doesn't want to hear that coming 
from a family member, let alone her sister.  From you, maybe it'll 
mean a difference, so even if you don't like her that way, you could do 
me a favor and tell her to stop screwing around and dipping her wick 
into the poontang."


Ukyo was actually taken aback at the blunt way in which the middle 
Tendo sister phrased that, but before she could even think of anything 
else to say her senses came on full alert and she moved before the 
thought was even complete in her mind that someone was about to 
attack her.


Kaori cursed silently to herself at seeing her opening attack go wild, 
but with a flip of her wrist she used her chopsticks to direct her line of 
noodles at the other girl, causing Nabiki to flinch as she found them 
wrapped around her waist.  Another flick of the wrist and the noodles 
were yanked back, spinning Nabiki around like a top and causing her 
to lose her grip on her delivery box of ramen.


"Oh no!" Nabiki cried as she tried to recover in time, only to see her 
box strike the ground several meters away.


"Hah, you lose!" Kaori crowed, then turned her focus towards Ukyo, 
"And now for you..."


"Oh no you don't!" Ukyo cried as she lashed out with a foot and caught 
Kaori on the side of her chin, tumbling the other girl to the ground and 
watching with satisfaction as her delivery box was promptly shattered, 
"Hah, take that!  Kuonji school trumps Daikoku school..."


"Guess again," Kaori smiled as she righted herself and held up a 
finger...upon which was balanced a steaming bowl of ramen, "The box 
is not important, it's the ramen that really matters."


"My point exactly," Ukyo smiled in a way that conveyed neither 
warmth nor humor, and with a jab of her own finger she shattered her 
own delivery box, leaving the bowl of ramen untouched and spinning, 
"Care to make this interesting?  First to drop their bowl loses the 
match?"


"Agreed," Kaori assuming a fighting stance with chopsticks in one 
hand and ramen bowl in the other, "Kuonji School...I have heard of 
you  But I thought your specialty was okonomiyaki."


"It is," Ukyo replied, "But I try to be more diverse these days."


"How cosmopolitan of you," Kaori replied, then launched her attack 
with a snarling, "But I won't let you stand between me and my 
promised husband!"


"He's my promised husband too, you Bimbo!" Ukyo cried as she met 
the attack and countered it with one-handed blows of her hand and 
both feet moving to rapidly kick and block the attacks of her rival.


Nabiki stared at the shattered bowl, ignoring the fight taking place 
only a few meters away, staring at the spilled ramen and feeling her 
own dreams had been shattered, only to look up in surprise as she 
found Kasumi standing beside her.


"Here," Kasumi said, handing Nabiki her own delivery box, "Take this 
and cross the finish line."


"Oneechan?" Nabiki blinked.


"I mean it, Sister," Kasumi replied with surprising resolve, "One of us 
must win and you are the only one left.  I will stay here and make 
certain that no one prevents your winning."


"But...why?" Nabiki wondered.


"Because I know how much this means to you," Kasumi replied, "And 
you know that I would never stand between you and your happiness."


"Oneechan?" Nabiki blinked.


"Saotome Ranma is special, we both know that," Kasumi informed 
her, "And we can't allow anyone else to become engaged with 
him...and I think you know the reason why."


Nabiki's eyes became wide with surprise and comprehension, but then 
she turned and studied the fight going on, only to have her eyes be 
drawn back towards the other fight taking place between Ranma and 
Kuno, and then she began to say, "But..."


"There is no time for a debate, Sister," Kasumi gently-but-firmly gave 
Nabiki a push towards the finish line, saying, "Go now before 
something else can happen.'


"Ah...right," Nabiki replied, seeing the sense of her sister's arguments 
but feeling also an enormous sense of guilt and obligation.


However, during a pause in the fight between Kaori and Ukyo, the 
former chanced to see the pass-off of the delivery box between the 
Tendo sisters and realized with a start that her match with Kuonji was 
about to become academic.  She quickly reached into her vest and 
pulled out a second pair of chopsticks, causing Ukyo to move to a 
more defensive stance, which provided Kaori the very opening which 
she needed.


"No you don't, Tendo-san!" she cried as she whipped the chopsticks 
off and aimed them for the retreating Nabiki, striking the other girl at a 
precise point on her ankle.


Nabiki gave a sharp gasp and stumbled forward, almost dropping the 
delivery box, only to catch herself at the last instant so that instead of 
falling she sank gracefully down on one knee.


"Imotochan?" Kasumi asked, having only belatedly reacted to the 
attack.


"My ankle...!" Nabiki winced, rubbing the spot with two fingers.


"Hey!" Ukyo reacted, "What the...?"


"Did you want her to win?" Kaori asked with a nasty smile on her 
lovely features, "You should have told me so, but now she'll difficulty 
limping her way to the finish line, which greatly improves both of our 
chances."


Ukyo frowned, then without a second thought tossed her ramen bowl 
towards Kasumi, "Here, catch!"


"Eh?" Kasumi stretched out a hand and automatically caught the bowl 
in the field of her telekinesis, "But...why?"


"You gave her your bowl?" Kaori's expression was incredulous, 
"But...why?"


"Because looking at you is like looking into a mirror, Sugar," Ukyo 
smiled, "And I don't much like what I've been seeing.  Go on, Tendo-
san...you know what needs doing.  Take your sister and get going."


"I...all right then, Kuonji-san," Kasumi reluctantly agreed, reaching out 
a hand and saying, "Lean on me, Nabiki-chan.  We will do this 
together."


Nabiki's eyes were very wide as she accepted the hand offered to her, 
and then stood up again with her older sister's assistance.


"What are you doing?" Kaori asked incredulously, "You want them to 
win?"


"I don't want to lose, if that's what you mean, Sugar," Ukyo grinned 
nastily, "But I've just decided that I'd much rather kick your ass than 
cross the finish line for a guy who doesn't really love me..."


Meanwhile the "guy" in question was having it out with Kuno 
Tatewaki, fighting on an even level with bokkens exchanging blows in 
a rapid exchange of clacking wood, sounding like a staccato fireburst.  
Tatewaki was so amazed to find his opponent holding her own that by 
the time his vision finally cleared and he discovered that she was, in 
fact, a girl, the sense of her formidable fighting prowess had already 
been imprinted, leaving him to gasp, "A woman???"


"Surprise!" Ranma-chan declared, seeing an opening and going in for 
the kill, using her foot to catch him soundly in the solar plexus, which 
sent Kuno flying backward.


This time his flight rearwards was halted by an abrupt encounter with a 
tree, which sufficiently stunned Kuno that the fight was momentarily 
knocked out of him, leaving him stunned and barely conscious.


"Hah, loser!" Ranma-chan smiled, resting her bokken on her shoulder, 
"He wasn't that tough.  So...who's winning---huh?" she blinked, 
"Ucchan?  Oboy...!"


Ranma-chan took off at a run, not hearing Kuno's tight little gasp as he 
watched her leave, "She moves...with such swift 
grace...such...power..." and then he finally gave up the fight and let 
sleep overcome his warrior spirit...


Tendo Soun and his wife could barely contain their enthusiasm as they 
watched their girls approaching the finish line together.  The rest of the 
audience was a bit more confused at seeing such cooperation between 
competitors but were nonetheless enthusiastic about the conclusion to 
such an exciting match.  The one party who was most definitely NOT 
enthusiastic was Mr. Daikoku, who frowned mightily and declared, 
"That isn't fair...someone else is keeping my Kaori too busy to finish 
her own match!"


"I thought you were the one who said that there were not to be any 
rules to this match," Trieste kindly pointed out, "But let's not begrudge 
my two students, they have more than earned this moment, don't you 
agree?"


"Oh yes!" Nodoka answered before Daikoku, all but hugging herself in 
her excitement, "And they're both such beautiful daughters...I wish 
both of them could marry my Ranma."


"At the same time?" Genma blinked, his expression registering faint 
dismay and amazement.


Nabiki knew that she was slowing Kasumi down, but nonetheless the 
moment when they did cross the line was a thrill and a half, the 
moreso as this meant that they had won the match together and now 
shared the right to be Ranma's fiancées.  She looked up at Kasumi with 
renewed gratitude and said, "Oneechan..."


"This is how it should be, Nabiki-chan," Kasumi assured her, "You are 
my sister and I love you, and I could never be happy if you were not 
happy as well."


Nabiki felt tears threaten to betray her right then as she smiled towards 
Kasumi, but before she could say anything they heard Kaori cry out, 
"Just a minute---I protest!"


"Protest what, Sugar?" Ukyo asked as she paused in their uneven 
struggle, having chased a retreating Kaori across the finish line with 
the latter clearly on the defensive, "You lost the match, admit it!"


"I admit nothing!" Kaori declared as she held up her bowl 
triumphantly, "You see?  My ramen is intact, but the same cannot be 
said for the Tendo sisters!"


"What?" Nabiki declared in outrage, "No way!"


"See for yourself," Kaori said smugly, "Open the box and weep."


Nabiki did as directed and visibly blanched, for the bowl of ramen had 
been shattered in two halves, spilling the contents all over the insides.


"But...how?" Kasumi blinked.


"Seven Luck Gods Special Technique," Kaori grinned, holding up her 
chopsticks, "It can shatter a box or a bowl with but a single strike, and 
while you were distracted by the wound to your ankle my real attack 
was directed at your ramen."


"You dirty snake," Ukyo frowned, "You're even better suited to be a 
Sith than I am."


"I'll take that as a compliment," Kaori smiled, then pointed her 
chopsticks at the bowl of ramen held by Kasumi, "And see there?  Her 
bowl is missing the fish cake, which is the heart of the ramen bowl, 
and without that it is incomplete, which means that my bowl is the 
only intact one to cross the finish line..."


A gasp of shock and horror passed through the crowd, expressed most 
visibly by Soun, who all but fainted.  Conversely Mr. Daikoku was 
elated, "Kaori!  You once again give pride to your father!"


"But of course," Kaori preened, "I am the best there is in our family 
art, father."


"Just a minute!" Ranma-chan called out, "You haven't won just yet!"


"Huh?" Ukyo turned and blinked, "Ranchan?"


"Ranko," Ranma-chan corrected as he trotted past the former Sith 
Apprentice, "I'm Saotome Ranma's sister and I say you lost, Kaori-
san..."


"Lost?" Kaori bristled, "Impossible!"


"Oh yeah?" Ranma-chan held up an object for their inspection, "See 
this?  It's the missing fish cake, which you plucked off Ucchan's 
ricebowl when she wasn't looking.  And I know just where it belongs, 
too!" and with that she tossed it expertly and saw it land exactly in the 
center of the bowl still held by Kasumi.


"The bowl is now complete," Ranko folded her arms, "Which means 
you lost, you cheater."


"Kasumi is the winner," Kimiko smiled, "Do you hear that, Soun-
chan?  Kasumi won the match!"


"She won?" Soun blinked, then smiled, "She won!  A year's supply of 
Ranma and Ramen's hand in marriage---ah---I mean...the other way 
around...!"


"No!" Kaori cried, "The bowl was not complete when she crossed the 
finish line, which means she lost!"


"Now who's being a sore loser, huh?" Ukyo grinned, "Talk about 
crying over spilled ramen..."


"I do not concede this!" Kaori protested, "I am the winner of this 
match and---"


All at once she was cut off by a slender hand that was laid upon her 
shoulder, and when she turned about to see who it was she gasped to 
see the predatory smile on the lips of Shampoo, who took Kaori into 
her arms and planted a kiss upon her lips before Kaori could even 
think of issuing a protest.


"Wo ai ni," Shampoo cooed sensuously, holding the stunned Kaori in 
her sinuous embrace, "You defeat Shampoo in race, now Shampoo 
give you kiss of life.  You like that?"


Kaori was too stunned to say otherwise, becoming as petrified as the 
proverbial statue.


"Lucky girl," Akane leered, "Took a while to get loose from that pasta 
trap of yours.  Soooo...Ucchan," she sidled up alongside her favorite 
okonomiyaki chef and purred, "What about you?  Did you give up on 
Ranma...or was it just a random act of senseless kindness that made 
you give your bowl to Kasumi?"


"Let's just say my honor is satisfied and leave it at that, okay, Sugar?" 
Ukyo shrugged, "Or maybe I just decided I'd have a better time 
looking in the mirror from now on.  Either way, I made my point and 
now I'm ready to move on.  Ranchan and me...we'll still be buddies, 
right?"


"Oh, yeah," Ranma-chan replied, looking both relieved and disturbed 
at one and the same moment, "Buddies...no problem..."


"Well, Daikoku-san," Trieste turned to the little man with the 
impossibly big-ears, "Are you ready now to concede your claim upon 
Saotome Ranma?"


Mr. Daikoku looked far from happy about the matter, but before he 
could say anything he heard the impossibly old woman at his side say, 
"If not, then perhaps my great-granddaughter might like to claim her 
for herself.  It is about time that she thought about settling down, and 
with a man in the picture we could be assured of having 
grandchildren."


"Ah..." Mr. Daikoku visibly sweated, "On second thought...perhaps we 
could concede the issue..."


"What you hurry to decide?" Shampoo asked lasciviously, her arms 
still wrapped around the unmoving Kaori, "Maybe Shampoo no want 
to surrender Airen now that she find her, or maybe we just make nice-
nice together and Shampoo declare her honorary sister?"


"Gah---!" Kaori sprang to life, breaking free from the embrace of the 
purple haired wonder (who notably did not make much of a struggle to 
try and keep her), "Father...in due consideration of the relative issues, 
perhaps we might convene a private meeting elsewhere...like, now?"


"Ah...well..." her father hesitated, only to be grabbed around the collar 
by Kaori.


"I said NOW, father...as in right away," Kaori declared, all but 
dragging her father off in the direction of their family limousine.


Shampoo heaved a sigh, "This one lose more good ones that way..."


"Well played, Child," Cologne smiled inscrutably, "But if the other 
Elders in our village ever hear about this..."


"Hear about what, Hibiichan?" Shampoo asked with a patently 
innocent expression.


The old woman nodded, "My point exactly."


"So," Nabiki smiled at Ranma-chan, "You and Kasumi, huh?"


"Um...well..." Ranma-chan squirmed uncomfortably, "I was...uh...kind 
of hoping...well, y'know, that I wouldn't have to choose between 
you..."


"That is quite all right, Ranma-kun," Kasumi said gently, "No one is 
going to force you to do anything that you do not want to do of your 
own volition.  I did not enter this match to try and win you for myself, 
I wanted to give you a choice about who you want to marry...and when 
you want to marry since it would probably be a good idea to finish 
High School first.  And besides, I don't want to deprive you of a choice 
if it turns out to be Nabiki who you...well...oh my..."


"Oneechan?" Nabiki arched and eyebrow at that, but then turned back 
to Ranma-chan and said, "We can work out the details over time...and 
like Oneechan says, there's no hurry, right?"


"Right," Ranma-chan sighed in relief, "No hurry."


"Hmph," Akane sniffed, "You ask me he just wants to have the both of 
'em for his harem."


"And you don't?" Ukyo tactfully murmured into the other girl's ear.


All at once another figure appeared, stumbling and looking like 
something dragged in by the cat and promptly rejected, an almost 
unnoticed Ryoga, who managed to croak out the name, "U-Uchan..." 
and promptly fainted again with his face crossing the finish line, all 
but unnoticed.


"Ryoga-kun?" Ukyo blinked.


"Poor guy," Akane said, "Looks like we'd better carry him back to the 
restaurant."


"Aiyaa," Shampoo agreed with a sigh, "Pig boy such a handful...", 


Ranma-chan suddenly felt the hand of Soun fall upon her shoulder as 
the older man leaned forward and said, "There now, Son, there's no 
rush, like Kasumi says.  You can find your own way and wait until you 
graduate before you marry..."


"Uh...thanks, Mr. Tendo," Ranma responded.


"...Just as long as you chose either one of my two beautiful daughters," 
the Tendo patriarch concluded smoothly."


"Uh...right," Ranma winced, wondering if he'd just gone from the 
skillet to the ramen bowl but deciding, for once, to leave questions like 
that for the unknown future, hoping that he would live that long as his 
luck was proving out that a happy life, for him, was far from a certified 
given...





"So," Taro said without glancing at his mentor, "Saotome's gonna go 
for the two older frails, huh?  Looks like Ukyo just tossed him over 
like yesterday's laundry."


"Perhaps," Purse hissed slyly, looking down from the lofty height of a 
nearby building upon which he and his chief remaining student were 
positioned, "But matters are proceeding smoothly enough where it 
really matters, and I am hardly dissatisfied over that."


Taro glanced at the fallen Kuno and said, "You really think that guy's 
gonna throw in with us now that he's been rejected by his love 
obsession?"


"Who knows?" Purge mused, "Humans have done worse for even less 
reason, but it may be that he will need a bit more nudging before he 
comes around to seeing things our way."


"Don't see what's so special about him," Taro shrugged, "Take away 
that stick of his and he's just a so-so-fighter."


"Indeed," Purge remarked, "Something will have to be done about 
that...eventually, but at least he won't lack for motivation," and in 
contemplating the motionless Kuno he smiled an entirely reptilian 
smile, the kind that had no warmth, that drank in warmth and left only 
coldness, and which promised ominous things in store for an unwitting 
youth named Kuno Tatewaki...




Continued.


Comments/Criticisms/Cluster Bomb Flaming: 
shadowmane@ridgenet.net


Things settle in to a pattern as Ranma renews his training with Nabiki 
and Kasumi, but is it all sweetness and light now that his relationship 
problems appear to be settled?  And what of Ukyo, will she be courted 
by Akane...or is there another potential suitor waiting in her wings?  
Stay tuned next time for: "Skating on the Dark Side," or "Have 
Watermelon Will Slice!"  Be there!






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