I came across your site your website after typing "iran homosexuality" into a Google search for an editorial I'm writing about Iran. I must say I was shocked and amazed to see such a thing. This is the most progressive and beautiful thing I have seen in the past year!!!! I am an Iranian-American medical student. Sadly enough, I know gay and lesbian Iranians (some in the medical field) who are closeted due to their own issues of identity or by dominant forces within the medical community. Usually, however, it is imposed by those in the iranian community/ family due to the lack of acceptance of homosexuality as a viable choice or right for Iranians.

Stay visible and viable. I'm going to forward this website to all the iranians I know.

P. Kh
November 8, 2004



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Dearest Ali,

Beautiful articles you have written, and great site:). The analogy of relationships, was true to the T , and it is true for all kind, what everyone has to realize is that gay or straight, a "relationship" is like making a cake, the common basic ingredients, are trust, feelings, emotions, being able to come into it with raw emotions, and that holds true whether we are discussing either heterosexual, or homosexual relationships.

In today's society, we as members are judged based on our looks, financial success, and the ability of our desires, based on others judging (Mardom,as you mentioned in your articles.). We tend to forget that true happiness, does not come from how much money, or how good looking you are, since if it was true, then all the rich people, and models would have been the happiest people on earth, true happiness and joy comes when we accept our imperfections, and know that they exist, but we are still OK, through the years of volunteering, and dealing with people, and my research, I came to only one conclusion, and that we truly feel happy when others have seen our shortcomings, but still have accepted us with "open arms", just acceptance does not cut it. If we could have a penny for all the mistakes that our parents have made, raising each and every single one of us, we all would be rich people.

All the different types of people you mentioned as far as your former lovers and friends, are just people, and I am sure there is one person who would fit their needs to perfection, but all is not lost, through the years, I have witnessed, that people use the sentence" I LOVE YOU" very easily, and without giving it a chance to come to fruition, though only 3 words, those words were used to express the ultimate feeling, but in today's society, we use those words very loosely (what a pity).

The biggest gift is when we learn to forgive, because then the person, or persons cannot have that hold on our heart, and soul. For any relationship to work, you need the both parties commitment, some times I wonder if it still exists?
I bet you can write a book from all the trials of dating, and it would be a best seller, because in reality it shows how shallow most people are, and what you had to put up with, and God, every comedy is about the hardship of others, since as humans we like it when it happens to someone else and we can laugh about it.

Have you forgiven your parents, society, the ones who broke your heart? Have you noticed that (mardom) always are going to talk behind your back, but with the right person by your side, you can laugh in their faces?

Have you noticed that in your pursuit of this TRUE love you might have overlooked the right person who would have wanted, supported and enriched you and your life? I am not questioning, or the truth about your integrity, and by no means I am criticizing you, after all I am just another human being, what right do I have to judge you, but, as a friend trying to advise you, let go of the criticism, and forgive the ones who did you wrong, you are well worth every shred of self worth that you can conjure, and more, and I am sure that you are even worthy of better and more happiness, and once we all learn to "forgive" you would be a happier person.

One day I promise you will open your eyes in the morning, and all that pain that comes to your heart, all of a sudden you realize is not there. That is the day that you have started your first step towards getting over that person, was he really worth all your energy, if he didn't see all the good in you, maybe you are better off without that person.

Well, best of luck, and hope that you find THE ONE.

Borzo N.

Fri, 29 Oct 2004



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Dear Ali,

One of your most recent poems, "my sins," brought so many tears to my eyes. It's like that poem was written just for me because it describes those scary, raw, primal feelings so well. But I am very glad that about a week later, you then wrote "my share of love": "Now that he is gone The sun is rising, it will bring me back to life again"
That line made me sooo happy for you and for myself. As I read your poems, I realize that our experiences of heartache, longing, shame, resilience, .... are amazingly similar - almost identical.

I printed out "MY SINS" and put it on my desk. I just love that poem, although it chokes me up almost everytime I read it. I know those words were uttered by your bleeding soul at the time, but I really want to thank you for sharing them! Thank you

Ghorbanet,

Pirouz

October 11. 2004



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Dear Iranian Gay Doctors,

I was looking through the net for Reinaldo Arenas' poem "My Lover Sea" (after watching this fascinating movie: "Before Night Falls") and I found it under your domain. I was very glad to know that such an organization exists in Iran. I'm writing you to express my admiration to your courage and pioneering work.
My name is Fadi. I belong to the Christian Arab minority living in the holy land (we're also know as "Arab 48"). I'm a med-student at one of Israel's universities and I'm gay. However, I'm deeply closeted because the Arab community here (like it is through the Arab world) is very conservative.

Anyway, I just wanted to say it was heart warming to see your site (I enjoyed the poems at "Gay Art"). Well Done!
Keep up the good work and take care of yourselves,

Fadi

Haifa, The Holy Land

September 4. 2004




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Ba salam,

I read the article by Mr. Ghassemlou and could relate to many if not all parts of his self-realization. Eventhough I had less of a struggle to come out. The reason that I am writing is that reading the quotes from Rumi, Hafiz and other Persian poets I was reminded of a book recently having come out in Iran by the tilte " Sodomy : based on Persian Literature" or " Shahed bazi dar adbiate Farsi". It is by Dr. Cyrus Shamissa and a well researched intuitive and interesting read. It is in Farsi and like Mr. Ghassemlou aptly said sheds light on a well documented past of the true love between men or boys and men in Iran. I thought he might be interested to know of this recent publication.

My very best

Peyman



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Hey, guys & wow

I had no idea, that there were so many gay Iranian Men , it took all my attention for a while and multi tasking was not possible for a while , specially founded interesting the well writen article on The obssesive lover. But , wowwww really amazing……………….

Bahman.



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Dear Dr. Payam,

I was given article 11 by an Iranian psychology intern I supervise and thoroughly enjoyed reading about your insights into the coming out process. Thank you for your openness, I can certainly identify with much of your experience as a gay Italian Catholic. I will definitely make use of your article; perhaps I will share it with a cousin who “is worried about” and “prays for” me.

With pride,

Rick Heid



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Hi

In trying to explore the effects of my sexuality on my own development I came across your first article on "The Trauma of Growing up Gay" (Part One).
I have been greatly affected by it and have read and re-read it several times. It has opened my eyes to the effect that being gay has had on me. In particular its the isolation that I''ve always experienced that affects me most (just typing this brings tears to my eyes). Did you write any follow ups to this article? Thank you for the article and bothering to put it on the net.

Malcolm Stone



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Hello,

I think your site is brilliant. I came across it tonight, and spent almost 4 hours reading all of your articles! I can relate to all your writings Dr. Payam. My name is Neema, and i am a 20 year old persian, gay, living in Dallas. I grew up in nyc and after graduating high school i moved to dallas, on my own, to understand ;who i am; without the family pressure. I work and go to school, and im thinking about becoming a psychiatrist. After reading your articles, you have become an inspiration!

Dont stop doing what you do! I have spent the past 2 years struggling to find my place in the world, along with my families acceptance. And I will.



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