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Amusing Search Terms

Here is another batch of funny search terms I collected. This time I weeded out a lot of the “naked” ones to see what we were left with. Still a pretty interesting bunch if I do say so. Take a look for yourself.

meme is tea good - Meme, yes it is!

vegetarian tea garden blog teeni - This person was desperately looking for me here.

meez sinister clown - Youz sure is!

peter griffin and cucumber toy - I suppose this one COULD be dirty - you all get your minds out of the gutter now!

baby diva lady carriage shower - These type of terms are why I’m guessing for a girl in the Diva’s pregnancy pool!

CARTOON CHARACTER I AM SO HAPPY - REAL PERSON I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Free Hillbilly grandpa .gifs - Sure, free Hillbilly grandpa .gifs. So long as he is not a danger to society!

gnome baby -Now there’s a funny image. A face only a mother (gnome) could love.

cute and all the way naked - I just have never heard this expression “all the way naked” so I had to chuckle.

buy more flowers better? - More flowers are ALWAYS better.

sweet sixteen cakes for boys - I have never seen one of these. Maybe sixteen year old boys just aren’t sweet?

real scary girl clowns - **shudders**

household tips to make your house smell - Why would anyone want their house to smell? I just want my house to be self-cleaning. That’s enough for me.

teeroom - Hey - even misspellings find themselves heere!

do squirrels get frostbite - I don’t know because of all the little squirrel doctors and their dang confidentiality laws.

how to do cool writing - See? They know where to go to find that out. LOL.

light up wedding dress - Had a hard time deciding whether this should fall under the pretty search terms or the funny ones. The funny ones won out in the end.

animated sloppy joes - Goodness - what would animated sloppy joes do if they could be animated? Run away so we couldn’t eat them, maybe?

circus flowers - C’mon - this idea is just funny. You know it is. I imagine circus flowers look like something out of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!

medieval stuff - My blog is not THAT old. Sheesh.

swinging navigator of the swamp - How on earth did that get them here???!!

Please see my previous post for the results of the last writing assignment.  If you would like to participate, click the graphic to find the “rules” and join in! Anybody is welcome. But if you do participate, please take a copy of the graphic for yourself and link back to Hannah or I so we can see what you came up with too!

Okay, here’s the assignment for Hannah and anyone else who wants to take on the challenge:

You must select any relatively well-known country song of your choice. Please post all the lyrics from the song or link to someplace where they are posted already, and then come up with a parody version of lyrics for that song. Difficulty - no mention of a wife leaving or a dog dying. Those have been too overdone. LOL. Okay - good luck and have fun! Flexible deadline for this assignment is March 20th, whenever that may fall in your part of the world. And it’s flexible so before or after is fine. Just have fun and do your best!

If you don’t like this assignment, check out what Hannah assigned to me and feel free to complete that assignment instead of this one. If you are particularly adventuresome - do both! We don’t mind! :)

It’s that time again! I’m a day later than Hannah in her posting but hey - that’s cuz we’re on different sides of the earth and it was today for her yesterday if you can wrap your head around that one! LOL. That really makes having our flexible deadline handy! I actually had some technical issues with WordPress and my computer but all seems okay now. So without further ado…

First I’d like to recognize all the participants in the last writing assignment I handed out and then I will post my work that Hannah assigned to me.

Kaylee was actually the first to complete my assignment! She wrote a letter to the North Pole.

Hay also completed my assignment and wrote a letter to Santa. Then, she went and completed Hannah’s assignment and wrote the diary entries of Cassie Kane.

Red also took my challenge and wrote a letter to Santa.

Calamity also had an issue or two with the jolly elf’s visit!

Finally, here is Hannah’s assignment. She took her matters straight up with the Customer Services Manager at the North Pole! These were all great reads - check them out if you get a chance.

And if I missed anyone who participated, please leave me a link to your assignment in my comments area - sometimes my Wordpress incoming links take a while to update so I may have missed it.

Here is the assignment that Hannah gave me and my results below - hope you like it.

Your character is a 19-year old college student named Cassie Kane. She is tall and beautiful, with grey eyes and red hair. She is determined, ambitious and forthright, with a strong stubborn streak. She also has a tendency to be suspicious, and is scared of commitment.
Cassie has a secret to confess (you must decide what the “secret“ is), but is afraid to share it.
Write a series of short diary or journal entries over several days that Cassie would write as she thinks about her secret, why it needs to be confessed, who will be affected if the secret is known, and why she is afraid to confess it.
Cassie’s decision to tell (or not) should be revealed in the final diary or journal entry.

======================

From the Diary of Cassie Kane, 05/13/2007

Dear Diary,

Well, I’ve finally decided what I want to go to school for. Having the year off after my high school graduation certainly gave me plenty of time to ponder it all and to test some things out. The only problem is, I’m not sure what my parents will think. I know I’ll have to put in many hours of hard work. I know it will not be an easy job to face each and every morning. But it is important to me to help others. Surely my parents will understand that. They love me and should want me to be happy too, right?

———-

From the Diary of Cassie Kane, 05/14/2007

Dear Diary,

My boyfriend Dave took me to the movies and dinner tonight. We had a good time and the mood was really relaxed. I was so tempted to tell him my decision. He is so sweet to me, but I’m not sure if he would understand and I don’t know if he would stand by me and the decision I’ve made. If only I knew what kind of reaction I would get. Grrrr! It’s frustrating. Well, really, it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t stand in his way and I won’t end up letting anyone stop me from attaining my goals either. I guess I will tell him right after I tell my parents.

———-

From the Diary of Cassie Kane, 05/16/2007

Dear Diary,

I still haven’t mentioned anything to my parents about my decision. I wonder if I should move out of the house first or if I should see if they will allow me to remain at home while I attend school. There are still so many big decisions to be made. But at least the most important one - what I want to do with my life - has already been made. Sometimes, I sit in my room dreaming about my lifelong obsession. I love to go through my black bag and practice with each little implement in there. I never let anyone catch me though. But I am starting to think I will have to tell them. I don’t think I can keep it to myself much longer. I’m just so full of happiness because I feel that I’ve made the decision that is right for me.

———-

From the Diary of Cassie Kane, 05/17/2007

Dear Diary,

My mom almost walked in on me in my room today while I was trying on my future work shoes. She would have known then if she had seen them for sure. That was a close call. They certainly aren’t the prettiest of shoes, but they are necessary for the job and they do make it easier. I have hidden them again in a new place, just in case. I put them with the rest of my uniform behind some old Halloween costumes in my closet. They should be safe for a while there. But I guess this just makes me even more certain that I must tell my parents sooner rather than later.

———-

From the Diary of Cassie Kane, 05/18/2007

Dear Diary,

Well, today is the day. I’m going to tell my parents my decision. I may as well just get it over with. But before I do, I think I’ll take that round, squishy, orange nose out of my bag and keep it in my pocket with me for luck.

Yet another installment of little factoids about me. This also satisfies a meme I was tagged for by Paige Stanton. It called for seven random things about me and since I had to post another ten anyway, I figured I’d combine them. Hope that is not cheating too much, but this is how creative I get when I get behind on my posts! LOL. Anyway, here are my seven and ten things all together.

  1. Flip Flops always gave me blisters as a kid. I think I must have walked funny or something because all my friends could wear them but I couldn’t. Just last year I tried them again and miracle of miracles, I can wear them without getting blisters. I wonder what changed?
  2. I love fresh cherries. But I cannot stand artificial cherry flavoring. It reminds of me children’s cough syrup and makes me gag.
  3. I love to wear my husband’s white sport socks. They are thick and warm and way more comfortable than my own. I think it might all be in my head though.
  4. I don’t know what the big deal about sushi is. I’ve only had the vegetarian kind. It’s okay. But it’s not something I would ever have a craving for.
  5. Artichokes are my favorite vegetable.
  6. I’d like to run an exercise class for the elderly. It would get them up and moving AND it would be good for MY ego because hopefully I wouldn’t get winded before any of them!
  7. I start a lot of things and don’t finish all of them. I hate that. I think my sixth grade teacher jinxed me because for a superlative at the end of our grade she chose me as the most likely to finish what she started. She must have made a mistake. Hrrrrmph!
  8. I’m not a big fan of the Beatles although I like a few of their songs (no rock throwing, please - I realize this is not a popular opinion, but it’s my opinion and it’s my blog - you can like them all you want at your own blog) ;)
  9. I used to have a huge crush on Mike Krushelnyski when he played for the Boston Bruins. It’s a good thing he didn’t find me and marry me. It would take too long to write my last name. I bet I’d get tired just saying it sometimes.
  10. It may be just me but I think winter weather makes things seem more surreal than other seasons. I love Spring and Summer! Fall is okay too until it starts getting cold and gray.

Now for the meme, here are the rules:

# Link to the person who tagged you
# Post the rules on your blog.
# Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
# Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
# Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

I will choose seven people but if I choose you and you have already done this then please just skip it - no hard feelings. That’s what I get for being late to the game! Okay, here are my tags:

Calamity - CalamityVille

CowgalUtah - Cowgal Land

Beth - Eclectic Studio Cafe

LumpyLumps - Lumpy Lump’s Blog

Pearl - Interesting Observations

Penny - And Who Cares

Mark - Idle Ramblings of a Slighty Mad Man

My Awards Collection

just keeps growing…

I’m definitely adding on to the trophy room now!
I received the honor of two BAFTA (Bloggers Are Funny Talented Artists) Awards from Lady Thinker at And Who Cares! She gifted me with both an Excellent Award and a Good Work Award. Click the link above to go to her site and see what she had to say.

Excellent Blog Rating Award

good work award

I also received the Funky Award from CowgalUtal! Believe it or not, it’s partially due to me having a funky Meez! See? Your Meez doll can win you stuff too. LOL.

Funky Blog Award

I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for my newest trophy room bling! I’m not passing them out yet because at this point I’m so far behind with a bunch of them that I’m just going to have to do my own awards post in the near future. Don’t worry - there will be a time limit on the speeches. ;)

I’ve Been Booked!

No, I haven’t been arrested! I’ve just been tagged with a book meme. Actually I got tagged for the same meme by two different people (note to self: This is what happens when you get behind in posting your memes). Hopefully this post will satisfy both of them. Actually, it kind of has to because the book closest to me was the same when I got each tag! :)

Anyway, first the Diva tagged me and shortly afterwards, I was tagged by Paige for the very same meme!

The rules of this meme are to:

* Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
* Open the book to page 123.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the next three sentences.
* Tag five people.

The nearest book to me when I was tagged  was one TGH had on his nightstand - Blaze by Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman. So here’s a little “taste” for you.

“Sure, right out of the can. Is it spoiled, George?”

“No, it isn’t spoiled. But if you don’t take off the cap and put in some water, he’ll puke.”

“Oh.”

Just makes you want to run out and read it, huh? LOL.

Since I’m late to the meme game this time around, I’m not going to tag anyone but am opening it up for anyone who didn’t get tagged and would like to do it. I sure wouldn’t mind seeing what Kate or Merri came up with, but I’m not tagging, just saying. :)

My Technical Romance

heart empanadas

I hope everyone had a wonderful day yesterday, whether you have a significant other or not. I have a few memes and awards to post about but first, I would like to share with you how my Valentine’s Day went.

In the morning and early afternoon, I made a tray of low-fat raspberry oatmeal squares, a batch of nut milk, and a wheat berry and barley salad. I also had made some bread the night before. All of these goodies were delivered to my niece who is on a low-iodine diet. Since she is not supposed to drive for a little while, I dropped my goodies off to her house and then took her so she could do some shopping. My mom went to her house too so she could stay and watch the kids while we did the shopping.

Well, I didn’t get home until about seven o’clock but when I got home, TGH was making me dinner (he got the idea from a comment I had made somewhere in a previous post, what a sweetie). The menu was salisbury steak with green beans and noodles with brown gravy. This was also the first meal he had ever cooked for me in our house so he recreated it for Valentine’s Day. He also had flowers (just some regular, but very pretty and often neglected on this day, carnations) to greet me when I came in. A little box wrapped in pink paper was at my place on the dining room table. On the stereo the CD that we had made up as favors from our wedding was playing. :)

Well, the salisbury steaks got a little burned and set off the smoke alarms, scaring the bejeebus out of the cats who went scurrying all over the house. Also, some bags of flour that I had left out earlier were obviously too close to the stove top and the bags got a little melty (I re-bagged them in new gallon ziptop bags for freshness). Fortunately nothing (and nobody) was broken in the crisis situation. ;) And the man did not forget dessert. It was strawberry shortcake - good, but the strawberries hadn’t had a long enough time sitting with the sugar on top for the juices to flow much (who cares though, right? - I mean it was strawberry shortcake!) Then, the man did all the clean up of dishes afterwards! I helped a little but he did the most of the work.

And as if that were not enough to keep me loving him - the little pink box on the dining table I mentioned earlier? - it contained the cutest little pink Ipod Nano inside! Just for me! Smaller than his full sized version (but my listening tastes are much narrower than his so I don’t need as much space or bulk) and matching my cheezy $6 pink rhinestoned earbuds, it was something I had been eyeing for some time but not wanting to spend money on. This will be the perfect companion for me to take to the gym and since I have been dancing around the house since TGH set it up for me, I am sure I’ll be losing a few pounds in the near future!

Guess what I got TGH? A card. How DOES he put up with me? ;)

Oh, and yes I realize the picture at the top has nothing to do with this post but I had made some heart shaped empanadas with salad for dinner a few nights ago and just thought they came out cute. And hearts are good any day, right? ;)

Normally I would be putting up my post for Hannah’s Live Poet’s Society assignment today, but we have put that off until the 20th of the month as she is swamped with her scrapbooking duties. See? I’m so glad we planned on having a flexible deadline when we started this up! It sure comes in handy and it means there is still time for you to join in the fun if you’d like.

In other news, I’d been wondering where my friend Red was as she didn’t comment on my post about the gifts she sent me. It just seemed a little weird and unlike her. Well, I just found out that the poor dear has been without power since Monday due to an ice storm in her area so I’m sure this is going to be a very interesting Valentine’s Day for her. Please go over to her site and leave her some good wishes that I’m sure she will appreciate! I’m going right now!

My good buddy, Ms. Red gifted me with some of her cool shtuff. No, I don’t have a lisp - it’s what she calls her store. Don’t believe me? Go here and check for yourself at Sam’s Shtuff!

My Goodies from Red

At Red’s store you can get a bracelet similar to the one I’m wearing in the photo. Not EXACTLY like mine, mind you, since mine was made especially for me (it’s mine, all mine!!)! :) But you certainly can have a custom item made up if you like. Ms. Red is very accommodating at her store. As you can see in the photo, in addition to her beautiful jewelry bling, Ms. Red gave me some of her artwork on the handmade card (which I love by the way) and the most adorable little plastic canvas teacup with my personalized coaster underneath it. I am very much in love with all of my little goodies and amazed at her many different talents! Thank you so much, Red!

In other news, I have also opened my own Etsy store! I am still working on getting a banner and making things look nice but I am kind of excited about it and wanted to mention it here. If you are interested in checking it out then go to http://alteredtastes.etsy.com The name of my store is Altered Tastes. I hope to be selling things that I create or “repurpose” there. Right now I’ve only got two items for sale in the floral category but will be adding more in different categories. I have asked my niece to create a banner for me and I’m excited to see what she comes up with. I’ll let you know when she has finished it.

:)

In honor of the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday, I’d like to help you men out with your relationships.

I think I can speak for most women when I tell you what we DON’T like, anyway. Of course, these tips apply to life in general and not just the holiday so if you don’t currently have a valentine, then just tuck this information away into that battered old wallet of yours along with the tattered four-year-old receipts and pocket lint, to retrieve it for future use!

Now, think of those occasions when you’ve found yourself in the doghouse. For some of those times, I’m sure you still don’t know why you were even there! Well, hopefully this little post will help you out some and may shed some light on the matter.

For starters, when you are out driving around with your woman by your side, please do everything in your power to stifle the desire to peer into every passing car and ogle the females driving in the lane beside you. This chips away at your lady’s self-confidence and belittles her in front of members of her own sex. It’s the female equivalent of you getting rejected in front of all your male friends. Don’t think you can side-sneak a look either. Trust me, we can tell. We have phenomenal peripheral vision.

When we say, “Oh, don’t get me anything for xxxx,” where xxxx is whichever the next upcoming special date is, what we really mean is, “I don’t want to feel like a burden, so go ahead and get me something that makes me feel like a princess.” Just don’t go too over the top and make us feel guilty. Well, not too guilty, anyway. ;)

When we say “Oh, let’s not exchange gifts for xxxx,” where xxxx is whichever the next upcoming holiday or special date is, what we really mean is, “We really shouldn’t be so extravagant with gifts but you should still get me a nice little bauble so you don’t look like a schmoe in front of my friends and family when they ask what I got.” If you mess up with either this or the situation mentioned above, you may be able to save yourself with an unexpected gift or romantic gesture for no reason at all that we can brag about to our friends/family.

Finally, when your woman comments on another woman and mentions how pretty she is, the proper response is NOT, “I know.” It’s even worse if you emphasize it as, “I KNOW,” or add, “she’s HOT!” And you are really asking for it if you say,”What woman - where?” as you shove your woman to the side in order to get a better look around. Trust me, it is not in your best interest to do this. Some other possible response options and their respective ratings are as follows (please choose from them carefully):

Lame - No response or not paying attention.
Okay - “Well, she’s attractive but I love YOU.”
Good - “Yeah, she’s okay, but she’s got nothing on YOU.”
Best - “What are you talking about, she’s butt-ugly!”

I know I must have gotten my female readers’ minds working now, so I’d like to open up the comments area for my readers to add their helpful hints to their male counterparts. C’mon, ladies - now’s your chance to speak up!

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