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Have you ever being away from your home town and had good times with really nice people? It could happen during your vacations, conferences, seminars, movie sets, etc, what’s important is that you are away for some good amount of time, let say for 5-7 days or more, and then something happened. You were with people that you cherished and really had good times with them. You felt like you were entering your comfort zone and never want to leave again but then it hit you that you do have to leave all that behind and heading home. After that particular event, you spent much time to look at the pictures, finding more informations about the people who were there, listening to the songs that brings back the memories, reading and sending emails to people, having hard times to sleep, feeling less motivation to live your daily lives. The symptoms might sound like you have fallen in love again, but it is not necessarily be love or something like that, but still it feels like it. That is, my friends, what I called “vacation blues”.

‘ These feelings are natural. They are explainable. First, the intention that you had when you left for that moment was to be with people who share the same interest with you. Like in a youth conference, you will be with fellow youth who have the same goals in their life, or at least share a somewhat similar purpose in life. In a vacation mode, you will obviously choose to be with the people that you are comfortable with. Shortly, you are with people who share the same passion. Second, you are away from your daily activities and environment which might stressed you. Third, you are having a good time together and seeing a lot of new experience with the people that you like. Those three things will bond and make the perfect composition for the ‘vacation blues’. Read the rest of this entry »

“Binsar, I have a proposition you can’t refuse!” That was the first line Szaszi told me during our phone call last Saturday (January 5th). He asked me to join him, Minette, and Lean to go 2 days travelling to Bruges, Gent, and Antwerp. It is indeed an offer I can’t refuse: traveling with friends to Bruges, one of the cities I’ve never been too, what more could you possibly ask. Thanks to Minette’s driving skills, we managed to get to Bruges just in time to have our lunch with delicious sandwiches she had prepared. Lean was acting as Mio, because Tomtom Szaszi was not working properly hahaha. Me? I was just sitting quietly at the back enjoying all the snacks. Well, somebody has to do that considering the large amount of snacks they’ve prepared.

Bruges was established between the 7th and the 9th century and was called Bruggia. Counts of Flandres built the fortress called ‘Burg’ (Borough, and the town developed around it. In the 13th century it became a world port. Since the Dukes of Burgundy settled in, Bruges regain its magnificence and developed in an splendid town and became an unequated artistic center. The official town site stated that Bruges is known as the Venice of the North. UNESCO included the entire hisorical city center on the World Heritage list in 2000.

For me, Bruges is a very old city that preserved its medieval arts. Its very easy to walk around it and the city tourist map really helps. The city map also includes tips to act like local such as: “Don’t buy chocolate, spend it on beer” and 3 questions to upset the locals, one of which is: “Where is McDonald’s?”. The town gave me the impression that it was really a center of art and trade. It has towers and arts that are preserved until now. Bruges also famous for its beers and chocolates. Minette had her best hot white choco drink ever in her entire life. Szaszi will now use her weakness for his own sake. Read the rest of this entry »

I started the year 2008 in Hamburg, Germany, where the second largest concentration of consulates in the world only second to New York are gathered. Hamburg is also the second largest seaport in Europe after Rotterdam. The city was originally erected as a fortress of Hammaburg in 830. Hamburg’s Speicherstadt (the storage city district) was one of the main elements in its development towards an international trade port in 1881-1888. The construction of the Kiel Canal (1895) further increased the port’s attractiveness. Not until early 1900, Hamburg was inhabited by small number of population (50,000 people in 1850). Thanks to the incorporation of the neighboring towns, Hamburg began its expansion until what it is today.

Anyhoo, I went there with Deta, my cute little opera diva. She is one of Indonesia’s great talents in classical singing. She is a student at Utrecht Conservatorium majoring classical vocal. We stayed at his friend’s: Adrian’s. They were high school buddies in Jakarta. At first, me and Deta were a bit concerned about this whole travel thingy since neither brought our passports. But the journey kept going. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve told you the story of my experience of working in Restaurant Selecta, now I’m going to give you a bit of analysis on the difference of woking culture in that restaurant. I’m going to use Fons Trompenaars and Charles Hampden-Turner theory on their book, Riding The Waves of Culture: Understanding Cultural Diversity in Global Business. This analysis was done in cooperation with Sally Siregar. Read the rest of this entry »

There is little chance that you will find a Batak (a tribe in North Sumatera, Indonesia - me too) anywhere in the world, partying and hanging around with friends during new year’s eve. I can hardly remember when was the last time I have fun with friends during new year’s eve. Probably never.

We have an unwritten tradition, for every Christian Batak, to gather with family during the change of the year. Gathering with family does not mean your own nuclear family, this means gathering with your extended family. We will have a small prayer and reading the bible together exactly at the 00.00 o’clock. During the small prayer, we will have a chance to say something - some words - could be words of appreciation of what had happened or apologizing for the things that went wrong during the previous year. All of the family members usually have their turns to say what they want to say. Then we will, in turn, apologize each other for what had happened the previous year. The idea is to start the new year with a fresh heart and a prayer. Then afterwards we will commit the first sin of the year, drinking and poker gambling hahaha…. (just kidding). Read the rest of this entry »

I’m so happy that I found my way into drumming again in Amsterdam. I am now a worship team member at Crossroads International Church in Amstelveen College once or twice in a month and found my new Band, BEBAS Band, who plays regularly once every other week at The Waterhole Live Music Bar, Leidseplein, Amsterdam. They are quite an exciting experience for me, especially when I’m bored with my studies, drumming is an excellent way of refreshing myself.

Next gig at Waterhole would be Saturday, 29th of September 2007 on 21.00-22.30, and 6th of October 2007 on 23.00-03.00. Next worship at the church would be on 14th October 2007. Do come and see us play and worship!

I know there are a lot of diet tips out there that worked for someone else. What I’m about to write here is my own experience on my own diet. And I want to share that it really works. So if you really want to know just read this thread. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, I’ve been going through a very wide range of emotions within the last 4 weeks. I felt that I’ve been pushed to the limit of my emotional boundaries of happiness, sadness, excitement, nervous, proud, anger, and many other extremes. I feel excited about my new role as a drummer for the Crossroads Int. Church worship team. I feel proud after Caux Conference and was also very nervous. I feel happy about being on stage again with Bebas Band, my new band in Amsterdam. I feel disappointed at myself for not being able to start writing my dissertation. I feel anxious about preaching in different congregations in different places in the Netherlands. I feel really sad and down about something really sad three weeks ago. I feel happy meeting lots of new friends. I feel pressured by the deadline that was given to me on my first chapter. I felt bewildered when I knew that the CWI didn’t grant me a work permit for Selecta. I am confused whether I should go to a conference in Dublin by the end of September or not. I am a bit nervous about my financial situation now that I’m not working anymore. I feel happy knowing that someone is thinking about me and helped me a lot too and I also feel being in a weird space with her yet fun :). I feel a bit lonely now that most of the Uilenstede’s gang members are leaving home. I feel so much support from my friendship with my Romanian Hungarian brother! And I feel that I’m having trouble sleeping lately.

I think I need some serious thinking time to grasp and digest all those feelings. So, I would like to ask for your understanding if I have not replied to your emails. It does not mean I don’t want to, its just all those feelings are overwhelming and I need some alone time for myself.

I’m posting the report of my presentation written by Andrew Stallybrass, who is the moderator during the presentation. You can see it at http://www.afr-iofc.org/news.php?id=397  . Here is some of the contents…

An afternoon seminar, looked at the question ‘Beyond tolerance: what discourse do we need to fight fundamentalism?’ Chief Rabbi Marc Raphael Guedj, from Geneva, Switzerland, Director, of the Foundation Racines et Sources. suggested themes to be explored: ‘Promoting the dimension of the universal wisdom of each religion, and sharing it, in a spirit of respect for the traditions of others. This is the very foundation of interreligious dialogue; Deepening the spiritual roots of each religious tradition, since fundamentalisms stay in the superficiality of dogmatism, and forget their own spiritual roots; Being aware of the complexity of identities, and thus finding freedom from monolithic and murderous identities; Asking ourselves the question: how to transmit religious values without weighing dogmatically on the conscience of others, while shaping others as free beings, creative and open to others.’

Rabbi Guedj explained the title. He had been one of those to launch the Imams and Rabbis for Peace, whose World Congresses have brought together several hundred Rabbis and Imams. ‘As a Rabbi, I feel responsible, because religion develops identity.’ Some argue for tolerance of each other’s religious views. But tolerance, he said, is ineffective as a response to the fundamentalist ideas growing apace in the Middle East. ‘Fundamentalists are fascinated by dogma and rituals, but they are not rooted in spirituality, and so their roots are petrified. Openness towards others is a characteristic of people who have strong spiritual roots.’

The Rabbi continued, ‘Many in Western society ask, if I have the spirit, why do I need the word? I am a strong critic of dogma. But how can I transmit this spirit to my grandchildren? Spirit is ethereal. Rejecting the word is not a solution. We need to go backwards and forwards. Ritual should be the wings of the spirit, able to fly away in many directions. And it needs to be interpreted. We need both the spirit and the word. I was inspired by the Dalai Lama, who said, ‘I am not asking you to become Buddhist, but I have wisdom to offer you.’ I say the same. Rather than trying to convince others about our religion, can we share its wisdom with others? If we did that, perhaps this would enable us to rediscover spiritual roots strong enough to win the struggle with fundamentalism.’

He was followed by Rev Binsar Pakpahan from Indonesia, who is doing doctoral studies in theology in the Netherlands. His thesis is on remembering in order to forgive. Indonesia has the largest Muslim population of any country, he pointed out. As a member of the Christian minority, he went to school with Muslims, and they got on well. ‘The situation changed after 9/11,’ he said, and there is now increasing hostility towards Christians, and pressure to introduce Sharia law in the country.
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I was in Caux, Switzerland last week attending ‘Agenda for Reconciliation’ conference held by Initiatives of Change International (13-19 August). I was actively involved there. I had 3 workshops on three different days. The first was delivering a workshop on the theme ‘Religion, culture and belief – are they factors for peace or for conflict?’ on the third day of the conference with Chief Rabbi Marc Raphael Guedj from Geneva, Switzerland, Director of the Foundation Racines et Sources, and Prof Dr Nasr Abu Zayd, Professor of Islamic Studies in Utrecth Universiteit and Leiden Universiteit, Netherlands. The next day I was facilitating the World Cafe with John Freebury from Canada on the theme ‘Celebrating Diversity’. And on Friday I held an Anti-Corruption Workshop with Ngan Le my Vietnamese friend.

I’m posting some pictures of the conference here, and you can see more news and even my paper on the next thread. Enjoy!

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After so long, finally I got my chance to see a game at Amsterdam Arena. It was during the Amsterdam Tournament. I saw two games between Lazio against Atletico and Ajax against Arsenal last Saturday, 4 August 2007. I had to make a difficult choice between this game and the infamous gay parade in Amsterdam. I wanted to see the parade too because I have not seen it two years ago and wanted to take some pictures of it. Read the rest of this entry »

Since last week, I’ve been working at Restaurant Selecta. This is my first time working at a restaurant ever. I worked there as a waiter, and also a person who serves Indonesian group buffet. I clean the silverware and plates, prepare sambal and sweet soy sauce, prepare kerupuk bowl, sometimes serving, prepare the set for buffet group, clean up tables, getting drinks and foods, vacuuming, cleaning the toilets, and some other small things. Read the rest of this entry »

Last Monday (2 July) I was rejected entering the plane at Schipol Airport to Romania because I dont have a Romanian visa. I was planning to go to Cluj for a theological conference. I was very sure that if I have a Dutch residence permit, I wont need a visa. I forgot where I got this impression. I just remember that someone told me that it is ok for me to enter and I don’t need a visa if I am a resident in the Netherlands. So, I had a hard time at the check in counter but after they made a few calls they found out that I could enter without a visa. But then at the boarding gate they again checked me and stop me from coming into the plane. Read the rest of this entry »

My dad came to see me in Amsterdam last Tuesday (26th June 2007) morning, and we went to Bremen and Hamburg by renting a car. I drove all the way there and thanks to Tomtom GPS system we were never lost. The weather was not friendly at all. When we arrived in our hotel in Hamburg, I saw the forecast saying that the wind was 70 km/hour. That was bad, and we were lucky we made it.

We started from Amsterdam airport, Schipol. Hyundai Atoz was the only car available because the others were booked already. I was very sleepy when we drove to Bremen, thanks to only 2 hours of sleeping the night before, not to mention that I have to adjust with the left driver seat first. The drive was fun and I was enjoying myself driving in Europe. Cars were very fast in Germany’s motorway. I was driving 140 km/h already, and the others were passing us by as if I was driving a bajaj and they were driving a real car. I assumed they must be going for 180 km/h. Well, you must remember that it is Germany and they were German’s car! I saw BMW, Mercedez, Audi, VW, and Opel, passed me by, and I was driving a Hyundai with a Dutch license plate hahahaha…. Read the rest of this entry »

I just got back from Lampung yesterday to give my last condolence and respect to a congregation member who passed away last saturday. The 6 hours travel worth a lovely funeral of a great person, a loving mom, a daughter, a grandchildren, a friend, a lovely person. She had been struggling with her cancer for 4 years and finally God gave her the best she could ever ask, to be by God’s side. Even on the last moment of her life, she faced it with a joyous heart praising the Lord. As many people admit in their last words on her funeral, she is an example of God’s grace until the moment of her death. She left 3 children that I hope will be a great person too like what their mother was.

It is interesting for me to found out that I always spent a lot of energy on these grieve occasions. I felt dried out and tired, not because I’m driving back and forth but more because of the event. Sitting there, watching almost everyone wore black, gloomy faces, sad spiritual songs, crying voices, all these things really had an effect for me. This makes me question myself, why do I feel these emotions? What do I feel about life and death? …. Read the rest of this entry »

I was riding my motorbike, and I almost got myself fined by the police. I was riding a motorbike, and I took the wrong lane. I can see the police officer stood there, and another bike followed me too. Well, you know where this is going… money… but no, I said to myself, I’m not gonna give any money.

So, when he stopped me and the other bike, I immediately apologize, and said that I got confused about which lane that I suppose to take, because I usually drove a car. He held my license and motor registration and brought me to the nearest post, which just across the road. It was a main road where they had 12 lanes altogether. the other bike rider followed too.

Anyway, I came to the police post and apologize, and he asked me how we should settle this. I know what he meant was giving him the money directly. So he asked me if I would like to give him the money or go for a trial. Then I said, no sir, please give me the ticket i will go for the trial…

a bit stunned, he asked me are you working or what, then I said I’m a student hehehe… then he said, then it’s ok, since you apologized and know your mistakes, just don’t do this again, I’m not gonna give you a ticket, . So I thanked him and left hehehe.. i’m pretty sure that the other rider gave the police some money…

so, that’s a little encouraging story for the anti-corruption group…. small efforts can be made to start a big step. say no to corruption!June 2006

Apa yang disebut dengan cinta? Apakah kita tahu apa cinta itu? Justru ketika kita merasa tahu apa cinta itu, di saat itulah kita sebenarnya tidak mengerti. Cinta tidak bisa dijelaskan, hanya bisa dirasakan. Cinta tidak buta, namun bisa membuat orang buta. Cinta tidak dapat dipelajari, hanya dapat dialami. Kita tidak akan tahu apa itu cinta, sampai merasa sakit untuk kehilangannya. Alamilah cinta dan cinta akan membuat anda mengalaminya. Cinta membuat orang bersatu, cinta dapat pula membuat orang berpisah.

Kadang-kadang, cinta bisa jadi sangat membingungkan. Terkadang kita ingin terus bersama dengan orang yang kita cintai. Ingin bersama, lepas dari orang lain yang ada di sekitar kita. Tetapi, hidup membuat kita tidak bisa mengesampingkan mereka yang selama ini ada di sekitar kita. Justru pertemuan dengan mereka dapat membuat cinta belajar. Persimpangan kehidupan dapat memperkokoh atau melemahkan cinta.

Jaring-jaring kehidupan yang membentuk dua sosok yang berbeda dapat mempertemukan mereka dalam sebuah kisah cinta. Tidak jarang, kisah cinta tersebut harus mengoyakkan diri, bukan karena jaring mereka tidak bisa menyatu, melainkan karena perbedaan dari lingkungan di mana mereka berdiri. Cinta tidak selamanya bisa bersatu. Cinta bisa dirasakan, namun bukan untuk dimiliki.

Kisah cinta yang dirajut di atas dasar yang kokoh, akan menjadi ikatan abadi. Namun, ada kalanya ikatan abadi itu harus memutuskan diri karena jarum, benang, dan sulaman yang dipakai akan roboh apabila rajutan tersebut tak terpisahkan lagi. Perbedaan yang dimiliki dua anak manusia membuat cinta hanya untuk dirasakan tetapi bukan untuk dimiliki.

Di saat seperti ini, lagunya John Lennon sepertinya sangat masuk akal. ‘Imagine there’s no heaven, and no religion too. Imagine there’s no country … imagine if you could…’ perbedaan yang tidak begitu besar namun mendasar… membuat cinta harus mengalah. Sanggupkah dua anak manusia yang saling mencinta untuk melepaskan kisahnya demi menjaga tembok-tembok yang ada di sekitarnya untuk tidak runtuh? Apa yang terjadi dengan percintaan yang ditentang oleh semua orang? Apakah yang terjadi dengan cinta? Kata siapa cinta bisa mengalahkan segalanya?

Sekarang, cinta harus mengalah demi cinta yang lain. Kenapa kepentingan orang banyak harus selalu didahulukan? Kenapa prinsip utilitarian harus mengalahkan intuisionis? Apakah kepentingan orang banyak harus membuat cinta mengalah? Kalau begitu apa sebenarnya cinta itu? Apakah cinta hanya dirasakan oleh dua insan yang merasakannya, atau mereka harus merelakan cintanya demi cinta-cinta lain yang ada di sekeliling mereka, yang membuat mereka harus kehilangan cintanya? Kenapa cinta bisa berbuat seperti itu? Apakah memang ada cinta yang tak boleh memiliki, dan ada cinta yang berakhir dengan bahagia selamanya? Kenapa cinta bisa seperti itu? Siapa yang mengontrol cinta? Siapa yang boleh menentukan cinta mana yang boleh berakhir bahagia dan mana yang tidak? Kenapa mereka diijinkan mengalami cinta kalau mereka memang tidak akan memilikinya? Kenapa?

- binsar, medio desember 2005 -