‘             Are you single? How long have you been single? Are you happy about it? What do you think about your ‘being single?’ Those are some of the questions I would like to address to those single people out there. The reason I’m writing this article is because I feel that I’ve been surrounded by a lot of single people and they are dealing it with different attitudes. Thus, I come up with a conclusion, there are different types of people who are being single.

‘             However before I continue, let me describe a bit what I mean by single. Single does not mean lonely. People who are engaged in relationships can still feel lonely. There are three types of loneliness: emotional loneliness, social loneliness, and time and space loneliness. A solo single website explains that Emotional loneliness comes from the absence of a close emotional relationship. Even the most socially active person can suffer from this type of loneliness when his/her social network is comprised of superficial acquaintances. While social loneliness means that you are absent from a social network. You don’t have any social life out there. The time and space loneliness means that you are lonely because of time and distance without necessarily not having friends nor social network, and it could be the result of your work, lack of technology, etc. So, those are different types of loneliness, and not single.

‘            What I mean by single is people who are not in a relationship, either marriage nor dating for some amount of time. Thus, single means not being engaged in a romantic relationship. Now, by this definition, I shall explore types of single people out there.

1. I’m looking but waiting for the right one single

This type of single is usually in the marriage oriented thinking, or at least they are tired of fooling around, or for some because of their religious belief of what a relationship is. There’s a big chance that this type of single has been in a number of past relationships and now is ready to move one with a ‘long-term relationship’. They will be looking for the right person but not being hasty about it. They will have people who are interested in them, but they will not be bothered if it doesn’t have a possible future with them. In short, this type of single person is looking for the right person for a long-term relationship.

2. I’m picky single

A person with this type of ‘being picky single’ are usually the good looking ones. He/She is the popular person in wherever he/she is. They are the ones who have the opportunity to choose because they have options. This type would select their future partner based on many criteria, but mostly on looks. They would probably choose to remain single because of their chances of fooling around. They would not officially date someone, but in fact they are seeing a lot of people who are interested in them. They could remain single in a long period and still seeing a lot of people, or they could engage in many short-term relationships. Read the rest of this entry »

‘             Seorang teman perempuan saya, kita sebut Cinta Laura memiliki teman laki-laki tempat dia biasa berbagi perasaan dan pikirannya. Teman laki-lakinya ini, sebutlah namanya Maho, juga sering berbagi perasaannya terhadap Cinta Laura. Cinta Laura dan Maho adalah teman curhat. Cinta Laura sering curhat mengenai pacarnya kepada Maho. Maho sendiri juga sudah punya pacar. Kedua pacar mereka tahu bahwa mereka sering saling curhat dan tidak memiliki masalah terhadap kedekatan mereka.

‘             Suatu ketika Cinta Laura memiliki masalah dengan pacarnya dan mengeluhkan hal ini kepada Maho. Maho yang merasa dekat dengan Cinta Laura membelanya dalam masalah ini. Singkat cerita, Cinta Laura putus dengan pacarnya. Sekarang hubungan mereka menjadi tidak imbang. Cinta Laura berstatus sendiri, sementara Maho masih memiliki pacarnya. Melihat situasi yang berubah, pacar Maho mulai merasa tidak tenang karena Cinta Laura adalah seorang perempuan yang menarik dan mulai merasa insecure akan posisinya sendiri. Karena perasaan curiganya, pacar Maho mulai mempermasalahkan kedekatan pacarnya dengan Cinta Laura. Maho merasa keberatan pacarnya tidak masuk akal karena dirinya dan Cinta Laura sudah berteman sejak dulu. Akhirnya hal ini membuat Maho dan pacarnya sering bertengkar. Curhat Cinta Laura dan Maho masih terus berlangsung dengan intensitas meningkat karena Cinta Laura tidak punya pacar lagi dan Maho mulai bosan dengan pacarnya yang terus menerus mengusik hubungannya dengan Cinta Laura.

‘             Kedekatan yang meningkat membuat Cinta Laura semakin sering memikirkan Maho. Cinta Laura merasa bahwa hanya Maho yang bisa mengerti dirinya tetapi dia merasa tidak nyaman dengan perasaan sukanya terhadap Maho karena Maho masih punya pacar. Cinta Laura juga merasa bahwa Maho memberikan respon yang lebih dari sekedar seorang teman curhat dan mulai merasa berani bertindak lebih. Maho dan Cinta Laura akhirnya melewati batas sekedar teman curhat tanpa sepengetahuan pacar Maho. Maho mulai berpikir untuk memutuskan pacarnya dan menjalin hubungan baru dengan Cinta Laura. Read the rest of this entry »

You once had a relationship with a special person but things did not work out well. The relationship ended and you both move on. However, there’s just something that you can’t get over with. Something keeps bugging you and you can’t get him/her out of your head. Maybe you are in a new relationship, but there’s something about your ex that troubles you. Do you have the symptoms of couldn’t get over a past relationship?

‘             The first thing that you have to notice is how did it end. What was the reason for the relationship to end and what was your reaction to it. Remember this, the manner you choose in ending your relationship will cling on to your memory like a permanent marker ink on your favorite shirt. You like the shirt, thus you keep wearing them even if you hate the stain. I can list several ways that are not advisable to do in ending a relationship. Professionalcounselling.uk lists some of them:

1. Text with the message that the relationship is over
   
2. Leave a message on an answer machine
   
3. Let someone else pass the message on
   
4. Cut of all contact that person without first giving an explanation
   
5. Become antagonistic in the hope that your partner will dump you
   
6. Start an another relationship/affair
   
7. Repeatedly give excuses for your unavailability before ending
   
8. Avoid your partner if you have not made it clear that it is finished
   
9. Avoid conversations with your partner about your relationship
   
10. Finish a relationship in a public place
    
11. End it just before your partner is due to meet other people
    
12. Tell other people of your intention to end it before your partner
    

‘             If you did any of the ways mentioned above, then there’s a big chance that you wont be able to forget that relationship. This calls for a closure in your past relationship! Read the rest of this entry »

What is it?

“Pyaar dosti he, Love is friendship.” This is Rahul Khanna’s philosophy on love. He thinks that if one can’t be his best friend then he can’t be in love with her. He says, “Without friendship there’s no love.”

Those were some lines taken from the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (KKHH). I was enchanted by this movie since the first time I saw it. Since then, I’ve seen the movie for like 20 times, and I just saw it again tonight. The movie was a best hit in 1998 in India and grabbed 8 awards in Filmfare Festival, some of which are best movie, best actor, and best actress. It made Rs. 500,000,000 (US$ 12,600,000) in India alone.

What is so interesting about this movie? I think the movie has a deep philosophical exploration on what love is all about. I was deeply moved by the movie. At first I thought I was just being crazy about those silly Bollywood movies who have typical characteristics. First, they always say their important words in english, like: “I love you”, “go away”, “i dont think so”, “will you marry me”, “you’re beautiful”, etc. Second, in a single movie, you will get views of other cities in Europe, such as London, Geneva, Brussel, etc. Third, no matter how remote they went, they always have other singers and dancers in matching clothes with them singing out of nowhere. Oh, and one more thing, there will always trees in a Bollywood movie, followed by either crying or singing.

However, KKHH is different. Its a movie of love, wide range of emotions, music, dancing, family, and life. It even has a good example of how God is the same for Hindus and Moslem. Little Anjali was praying in Hindu and Moslem way. And God answers her prayer. Isn’t it interesting?

Read the rest of this entry »

This page shall be dedicated to host my opinions on life and love.

Let me start with a little story of how my opinion on how love comes grew:

1. First I thought love will come when you are cool, can drive a car, ride a big motorbike, play one of the sports, play musical instruments, sing, and smart as well.
2. Then I considered love as a gift. If you have one, its a gift and you should cherish it. I thought I was the object and love is the subject.
3. Again I shifted, I was thinking about love as an agreement. If you had the agreement, you can develop your love to your partner. If the agreement fails, then love will fade away.
4. After that I consider love as work. You should work on your love and not to take it as it is. You should work on your love to make things going. You will feel tired, bored, upset, but that’s just a small part of the package of happiness, laugh, self-improvement, and a mutual partner for yourself.
5. Now I am still learning. I am starting to think that pure love is an unconditional love. If you can love someone or something without hoping to receive something back then you have found what true love is all about.

As you can see, my opinion on love grows. This does not mean that the later opinion is more correct than the previous ones. I started by thinking that love is something that will be given to you, now I am thinking that you should not expect something back. Its a life learn process, and I can still change in the future.

7 July 2007

I think I need to add something on that list. A friend told me that instead of building my life around the person whom I love, why don’t I build something together to the future. I could argue her opinion but I think she has a point as well. So here goes number 6.

6. Love should be built towards a new goal in life, together, without forsaking yours or hers (maybe, I’m not 100% sure).

7. I think love works in a funny way sometimes, even in a weird situation where you least expected. The most difficult things is to be able to hold back your feelings when you know that love is not possible to go on but you can’t deny your heart and still you want to have it. IT SUCKS BIG TIME!

updated 18th September 2007

This is what I came up with hahaha

Nah, berhubung yang tipe cewe mendapat tanggapan yang cukup hangat, maka tidak adil rasanya kalau saya tidak menampilkan tipe-tipe cowo yang sedang melakukan pendekatan. Berikut adalah 4 tipe cowo yang berada dalam masa pendekatan berdasarkan apa yang mereka lakukan selama proses itu.

1. Tipe Pejuang ‘45

Kaum cowo yang menjadi pejuang ‘45 adalah mereka yang tidak perduli akan badai dan rintangan yang menghadang. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang menjadikan crap (bambu runcing) menjadi senjata utama dan tidak takut bahaya. Mereka tidak menerima kata tidak sebagai jawaban. Mereka adalah orang-orang yang sangat fokus terhadap apa yang mereka mau dan tidak akan berhenti sebelum mendapatkannya. Biasanya tipe seperti ini akan menjalankan proses pendekatan yang sangat intens dan masih terus mengejar idamannya meskipun sang perempuan sudah memberi isyarat tidak sebagai jawaban. Read the rest of this entry »

Berdasarkan percakapan dengan beberapa teman dan pengalaman pribadi, maka kita bisa membedakan laki-laki dan perempuan dalam usaha pendekatan mereka. Sekarang kita akan membedakan perempuan berdasarkan gaya mereka menanggapi laki-laki yang sedang mendekati mereka, dan pada pos selanjutnya saya akan membahas tipe laki-laki berdasarkan usaha mereka mendekati sang perempuan itu.

Tipe-tipe Perempuan

1. Tipe Princess 

Tipe ini berlaku bagi perempuan yang menanggapi laki-laki yang mendekatinya dengan ‘hangat’ namun tidak akan pernah menghubungi kamu lagi. Dia hanya berharap dihubungi dan merupakan tipe perempuan yang harus didekati. Tipe perempuan ini adalah mereka yang menunggu pangeran yang tepat untuk membawa mereka pergi, namun tidak mau melakukan usaha apapun. Mereka biasanya memiliki banyak pilihan yang berkompetisi untuk mendapatkannya dan selalu menimbulkan kesan ‘come and get me’ bagi kamu. Mereka akan menjatuhkan pilihan dengan sabar dan teliti. Kesulitannya adalah kamu tidak akan pernah tahu apakah dia menyukai kamu atau tidak karena mereka tidak akan menunjukkan perhatiannya kepada kamu kecuali kamu memulainya lebih dahulu. Cara mudah mengenali tipe ini adalah ketika kamu menanyakan nomor telepon mereka, mereka hanya memberi nomor teleponnya tanpa menanyakan nomor teleponmu. Read the rest of this entry »

Jurus 5: Jadilah Liar Sesekali!

Banyak perempuan memilih laki-laki yang sedikit nakal karena tantangan dan rasa ingin tahunya. Jika kamu tidak punya kejutan dalam hidupmu, dan kamu sendiri merasa ritme hidupmu bisa ditebak oleh siapa saja, maka itu artinya kamu punya kehidupan yang normal. Jadilah liar sesekali.

Di dalam hubungan pacaran, perempuan akan selalu prefer the naughty ones. Inilah sebabnya ketika kamu masih duduk di bangku SMU, yang mendapatkan kembang kelas adalah mereka yang masuk dalam kategori berikut ini: anak basket, anak bola, anak skate, anak band, anak gaul, anak mobil, anak motor, anak pakau. Biasanya mereka adalah orang-orang yang duduk di bagian belakang atau dipaksa guru untuk duduk di bagian depan kelas. Mereka adalah anak-anak yang pernah ‘cabut’ dari kelas minimum 4 kali sebulan.  Perempuan lebih menyukai orang yang tidak bisa ditebak, namun tidak selamanya tak terduga. Mereka menginginkan seorang yang baik, setia, penyayang, namun juga bisa membuat mereka mengerutkan kening bertanya-tanya tentang apa yang akan dia lakukan berikutnya. Perempuan ingin tantangan karena mereka ingin membuktikan dirinya bisa menghadapi tantangan. Somehow this preference would change for most of them when they are looking for a husband material. Mereka akan mencari laki-laki yang mapan, stabil, dan bisa dipercaya. But for the time being, jadilah nakal!

Cara yang paling mudah dalam melakukan hal ini adalah lakukanlah sesuatu yang masuk dalam kategori ‘liar’ dan pastikan si ‘dia’ mengetahuinya. Hal yang liar bukan berarti konyol. Ikutlah salah satu grup dalam kategori yang saya sebut di atas (kecuali anak pakau). Lebih kalau anda bisa membuat kelompok sendiri tanpa menjadikan prestasi studi sebagai daya tarik utamanya. Keluarkan bajumu dari celana! Pakai jeans dan bukan celana bahan! Sepatu kets is preferable. Lawanlah guru sesekali dengan argumen yang masuk akal. Masuklah terlambat sesekali bukan setiap kali! Jangan kerjakan pekerjaan rumahmu sekali atau dua kali dan pastikan alasanmu ‘ear-catchy’ seperti ’saya gak tau kalo ibu serius nyuruh pr ini dikerjakan kemaren’. Bergaullah!

Kekuatan: Kamu akan mendapatkan lebih banyak perhatian dari dia. Ini adalah langkah maju dalam pendekatanmu!

Kelemahan: Kamu bisa tenggelam dalam hal baru ini dan akhirnya jadi nakal beneran hahahha. Jangan menjadi bandel mutlak karena perempuan juga tidak suka mereka yang benar-benar tidak terduga.

You have prepared the day. You practiced all the tricks you know. And when the day comes, you tell her the truth about your feeling, and she says no. You cannot believe it, that you have to ask her ‘why’. In the end, she still says no. You are rejected. Bummer! So, what are the reasons for women to reject men? I tried to list 10 reasons that women use to reject men. These are typically Indonesian/South East Asian way of rejecting, that’s why they may sound foolish to those of you who did not come from that region.

1. She doesn’t like you!

Face it dude. She does not like you. She probably likes your attention but not necessarily wants to be in a relationship with you. She just didn’t like you. If this happens, just move on man! The words they use will be, “I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m interested in you” or “I don’t think we matched”.

2. She’s already in a relationship.

This is why men should do their homework right. You should always investigate her background and relationship status. She might look single because you have not seen her with any men, but that does not automatically mean she’s available. They will say, “I’m sorry, but I already have a boyfriend”; “I’m in a relationship with someone else”; or “If only you told me 3 days earlier, things would be different, I already said yes to your friend Oki!”

3. She’s not ready for a relationship.

She might be single but not available. She was not ready for a relationship. She just wants to have a friendship with you without stepping up into a steady relationship. She would say, “I don’t think I’m ready yet” or “I’m not sure whether a relationship would be the right thing for us.”

4. She’s not allowed to have a relationship…yet.

I know this reason sounds lame, but some people were not allowed to be in a relationship by their parents. Yes, in Asian culture, or at least some of Asian cultures, parents have important say in one’s relationship. If they think their daughter is not ready for a steady relationship because she’s too young, or because they simply don’t like your attitude, they will tell or worse forbid their daughter in having a relationship with you. Then she will say, “I’m sorry, but my parents don’t like seeing us together”; “My parents don’t like you” or “I’m not allowed to go out with you.” What you can do next is try to win her parents.

5. She likes women.

There’s no need to explain this further. She’s just not in to men. Don’t be bothered and move on if she said, “I’m just not in to men” or “I have other sexual preference.” Read the rest of this entry »

‘         I was sitting at a corner, in a room in Vancouver, during 1998 APEC Youth Forum, and I wanted to get this girl’s attention. She was also a participant of the forum. She’s Canadian, and definitely cute. I immediately walked up towards her and talked to the person next to her saying, “Could you please take a picture of me with this beautiful girl?” She was blushing, we took a picture, and we went out that night. My host told me that I was a smoothtalker. I didn’t know what it means until he explained that what I just did with the girl is an example of a smoothtalker. I think I was just being friendly with the girl. That’s my friend, is what they call “flirting”.

‘             Hmm, flirting. I remembered well when I wanted to ask some friends about the limitation of flirting, I mean to what extend can you call an action as flirting. I asked some of my girl friends (not girlfriend)! Some said, if you are doing it in a light way, then you can call that as flirting, i.e. sms, smile, looking at her, eye contact, etc. But when you are getting more intense, then it turns to ‘getting to know better’. Some answered that even by asking that question they suspected that I was flirting with them hahaha. Now, what is flirting and is it dangerous or not? Read the rest of this entry »

‘          Been there… done that! To be honest, I think I’ve been in this kind of relationship for three times… (I’m not sure hahahhaa). I can definitely recall my happy moments and of course some difficult times because of the distance we had. In fact the last one I had was based purely on long distance with numerous times of the actual get together. I think she even mentioned that we had a ’skype relationship’, or something like ‘i think we spent more time dating our headsets than being with each other’ hahahaha. Anyways, having a long distance relationship is always tough, I failed all three. The question now, is it possible with a future successful ending? Do you think long-distance relationship doable?

‘          Well, let us explore what long term relationship is all about. Wikipedia explains long-distance relationship as, “a typically intimate relationship that takes place when the couple is separated by a considerable distance.” So it is a relationship that is intimate and the couple is separated by some amount of distance. Many interpretations could come from this explanation. One could ask whether the distance comes after the relationship was established or the other way around. Online dating has open the opportunity of knowing people without necessarily meeting them in person.

‘            Many would interpret differently on the term ‘considerable distance’. Distance has become a vague term these days. You can measure distance by miles distance, travel time distance, or free time to meet distance. Some might have miles distance but they meet often because of the transportation technology. Miles distance has been reduced to mere travel time distance. If you are only two hours away (by plane), and you can afford it, the relationship will not be a problem. If you live in the same city, but traffic has stopped you from seeing each other often (let say you have to travel 3 hours from Pondok Kopi to Bintaro in Jakarta), you can call that a long distance relationship as well. Now, your career can also stops you from seeing each other often. If you are only able to see your partner once a week during weekend, it would be the same with people whom I know live in another city but come to see their partner once a week on weekend. Shortly, you might have a long distance relationship without even realizing that you have one. Read the rest of this entry »

‘         Ada saatnya hubungan yang kamu miliki dengan sang kekasih hati memasuki tahap kebosanan. Proses ‘ketemuan’ atau ‘jalan bareng’ tidak lebih dari sebuah kewajiban atau pekerjaan rutin. Waktu berdandan untuk ‘jalan keluar’ tidak lagi selama ketika baru bertemu dia dulu. Tidak ada lagi rasa cemas akan pakaian yang kurang ‘hip’ ketika diajak jalan untuk ketemuan dengan teman-teman si dia. Kamu tidak lagi mengharapkan ketemu dengan dia seperti kamu dulu mengharapkannya. Kata-kata mesra pun mulai jarang diucapkan. Ini bisa jadi adalah tanda-tanda kebosanan.

‘        Di saat seperti ini, ada tokoh baru yang muncul dalam hidupmu. Kamu pikir dia berbeda dengan pasangan anda sekarang. Sialnya, meskipun dia sudah tahu bahwa kamu sudah punya pacar, dia tetap dengan semangat menelepon atau meladeni teleponmu, menaruh komen di fs dan fb, sms, ngajak jalan atau mau diajak jalan, curhat, dll. Kamu kemudian merasakan sensasi yang sama ketika dulu kamu jatuh cinta kepada pasanganmu sekarang. Kemudian kamu mulai menikmati sensasi tersebut. Tidak ingin melepaskan pasanganmu sekarang, dan tetap menyukai sensasi kedekatan dengan orang baru ini. Sadar atau tidak, kamu mendua.

‘         Sebuah acara di Discovery Channel menunjukkan bahwa monogami bukanlah sifat alami dari manusia. Manusia pada dasarnya adalah mahkluk poligami. Artinya manusia akan selalu memiliki kecenderungan untuk memiliki lebih dari satu pasangan. Yang mencegah manusia untuk memiliki lebih dari satu pasangan adalah emosi yang dimilikinya ketika dia melihat pasangannya bersama orang lain. Manusia memiliki keterikatan emosional dengan pasangannya sehingga dia tidak tahan melihat pasangannya membagi cintanya dengan yang lain. Jadi hal yang membuat manusia tetap setia adalah untuk kepuasan batinnya sendiri dan komitmen bersama untuk tidak berbagi pasangan dengan orang lain. Read the rest of this entry »

‘ Ada kabar gembira bagi teman-teman yang membaca post ini dan kebetulan masih sendiri sampai sekarang. Setelah setengah putus asa bergumul dengan kesendirian, saya memutuskan untuk mencari bantuan dari Boss no. 1. Saya mengais arsip-arsip lama yang berisi teks-teks doa yang telah ditulis untuk menggaet sang kekasih hati. Alasan menggunakan teks doa yang sudah ada adalah masalah kekuatan teks itu bertahan dalam waktu, yang artinya doa itu sudah terbukti kemanjurannya.
‘ Berikut adalah doa khusus yang disarankan oleh para leluhur, yang bisa anda panjatkan untuk mendapatkan pacar:

Read the rest of this entry »

Taktik 4: Jadilah Pendengar Yang Baik

Ketika anda sedang mendekati seorang perempuan, berusahalah untuk tidak berbicara terlalu banyak ketika dia sedang menumpahkan isi hatinya kepada anda. Berbicaralah ketika memang giliran anda untuk berbicara dan dengarlah ketika dia yang sedang berbicara. Proses pendekatan bisa berjalan mulus ketika anda berdua memiliki chemistry yang tepat dalam bercakap-cakap. Faktor fisik memang menjadi hal yang utama bagi banyak laki-laki, tetapi percayalah, setelah 30 tahun bersama pasangan anda nanti, faktor kecocokan dalam berbicaralah yang menjadi kuncinya.

Menjadi pendengar ternyata tidak mudah. Ada sebuah buku menarik berjudul Why Men Don’t Listen And Women Can’t Read Maps: How We’re Different and What To Do About It: How We’re Different and What to Do About It karya Alan & Barbara Pease yang bercerita bahwa, “Men don’t listen” because our brains only have one speech centre (women have two); and “women can’t read maps” because their sense of spatial awareness is not as developed as a man’s (in most cases).” Meskipun masih bisa dibantah secara ilmiah, namun laki-laki pada umumnya tidak dilahirkan untuk menjadi pendengar yang baik. Namun, jangan takut, anda masih bisa melatih diri untuk menjadi seorang pendengar dan hal ini akan membawa kita ke sebuah hubungan yang lebih baik.

‘                Sekarang kita akan lihat cara mendengarkan yang salah. Jangan menganggap bahwa anda adalah seorang pendengar yang baik ketika anda pura-pura memperhatikan apa yang dia bicarakan dengan mengulang dan menanyakan kalimat terakhir yang dia ucapkan. Anda perlu mengingat apa yang penting baginya, kalau perlu catat hal-hal penting yang sudah pernah anda bicarakan ketika anda baru pulang dari sebuah date bersamanya. Satu hal yang pasti, ketika dia mengulangi cerita tersebut beberapa kali tanpa dia sadari, atau dia terus mengucapkan kata kunci tersebut, artinya itu adalah hal yang penting baginya. Hal ini yang harus anda camkan dalam hati.

‘                Kekuatan: Menjadi pendengar yang baik memberi 90% kemungkinan untuk keberhasilan.

‘                Kelemahan: Anda belum tentu bisa menjadi pendengar yang baik, dan situasi juga bisa jadi lebih sukar ketika ternyata anda tidak bisa menjadi partner bicara timbal balik yang baik.

I remembered a conversation I had with some friends about the 5 things that I’m looking for in a woman. Here they are:

1. I would love to be with a woman who will be able to argue me and give reasonable explanations for that.

2. I would love to be with a woman who is independent yet can be spoiled at times.

3. I would love to be with someone who is family oriented and still has her own career and dream, and she should keep pursuing it.

4. I would love to be with someone who loves me just the way I am.

5. We both should be able to complete each other in our goals in life.

Mmm, of course there are things that are not mentioned above such as kind, understanding, loving, caring, can be a bit grumpy (not much hehehe), and romantic. These are tough stuff, but no one is perfect and me neither! What about you?

This is an article I got on my Facebook comment, i thought it is worth reading. Well, actually they were in two posts but why not putting them together. However, I dont know who wrote this… so I cannot mention their names. Too bad tough… they were nice articles

Why Men Are Never Depressed?

Men Are Just Happier People - Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another nack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white -shirt to the pool/water park. You can wear NO shirt. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to  drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just…? You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars and bottles. You get extra “credit” for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with clippers. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 people on December 24th, in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

            Now, what about girls?

When a GIRL is quiet … millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing … she is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions … she is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers ” I’m fine ” after a few seconds … she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you … she is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest … she is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday… she wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says ” I love you ” … she means it. When a GIRL says ” I miss you ” … no one in this world can miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person …. Find a guy … who calls you beautiful instead of hot. who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who … kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Who turns to his friends and says, ” That’s her!! “

Christmas is coming near and you can feel love everywhere and I thought why not put my favorite love songs here. These songs have their own reason to be on the list. They all have sweet and bitter memories. Here are my 20 all time favorite love songs:

1. Billy Joel - Just The Way You Are (click here for youtube link)

2. Basil Valdez - You (click here for youtube link)

3. Michael Buble - Everything (click here for youtube link)

4. The Beatles - I Will (click here for youtube link)

5. Max - Can’t Wait Until Tonight (click here for youtube link)

6. George Benson - Nothing Gonna Change My Love For You (click here for youtube link)

7. Daniel Sahuleka - You Make My Life So Colourful

8. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of The Opera - All I Ask (click here for youtube link)

9. Lighthouse Family - Lost In Space (click here for youtube link)

10. Goo Goo Dolls- Iris (click here for youtube link)

11. The Beatles - Here, There and Everywhere (click here for youtube link)

12. Michael Buble and Nelly Furtado - Quando Quando Quando (click here for youtube link)

13. Stevie Wonder - Overjoyed (click here for youtube link)

14. Slank - Ku Tak Bisa (click here for youtube link)

15. Warna - Oh Ya

16. Dewa 19 - Satu Hati (click here for youtube link)

17. Gigi - Nirwana (click here for youtube link)

18. All 4 One - So Much In Love (click here for youtube link)

19. Kerispatih - Cuma Manusia (click here for youtube link)

20. Kahitna - Cerita Cinta

Most of them are cheesy… but it’s my choice people!

Taktik 3: Reverse Psychology

Taktik ini digunakan dengan meminjam istilah reverse psychology. Arti dari istilah ini adalah ketika kita mendorong seseorang untuk melakukan apa yang kita ingin dia lakukan dengan menyarankan arah sebaliknya. Contohnya adalah ketika kita ingin seseorang untuk melihat sesuatu, hal yang kita katakan justru adalah jangan lihat. Contoh mudah lainnya adalah ketika mengirim email dengan title ‘jangan buka’ maka kemungkinan besar orang akan membaca email itu. Read the rest of this entry »

Taktik 2: Dekati Orang-orang Dekatnya!

Ciri utama dari jurus ini adalah mengenali sahabat, keluarga, atau orang yang dekat dengan sang perempuan untuk bisa lebih mengenalinya. Laki-laki akan mendekati dan berusaha menjadi teman dari sahabat sang perempuan dalam rangka mencari informasi mengenai incarannya sekaligus mempromosikan dirinya. Seringkali sang laki-laki justru terlihat lebih dekat dengan sahabat daripada incarannya. Tidak jarang sang laki-laki juga rela menaruh extra effort dalam hal ini terutama dalam rangka mentraktir sang sahabat.

Kekuatan: Anda bisa mencari tahu semua hal yang anda perlukan dalam rangka melakukan pendekatan lebih lanjut, misalnya makanan favoritnya, band favoritnya, laki-laki seperti apa yang dia suka, sekaligus mempromosikan diri anda melalui orang yang dia percayai.

Kelemahan: Diperlukan kesabaran untuk melaksanakan taktik ini karena anda perlu ekstra waktu, tenaga, dan biaya untuk menjalankan taktik ini. Kemungkinan bahwa anda akan jadi lebih dekat dengan sang perantara juga selalu ada.

Personally, saya akan menyarankan anda untuk menjalankan jurus ini dengan kombinasi jurus yang lain. Hubungan yang anda jalin dengan orang yang dekat dengan sang target selalu berguna di kemudian hari, dan anda juga mendapatkan teman baru. Kalaupun anda tidak diterima oleh sang target, anda mendapatkan temannya