|
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
GOODAY, WHY YOU NEVER REPLY ME FOR SINCE YESTERDAY,WELL MARY SENT ME
A LETTER YESTERDAY NIFACT I WAS NOT HAPPY THE TIME I RECIVE MARY
LETTER YESTERDAY.
BECAUSE OF THE LOVE I HAVE WITH YOU AND THE CONDITION HERE IN GHANA I
HAVE MAKE ALL THE DECISSION TO COME TO ENGLAND SO THAT I WILL BE HAVING
FUN WITH YOU AS MY BOY FRIEND .
MARY WAS TELLING ME ABOUT COMMING TO GHANA WITH YOU TO PICK ME TO
ENGLAND SO THAT I WILL LIVE WITH YOU .
PLEASE WHEN ARE YOU PEOPLE COMMING TO GHANA?
DEAR MY LOVER PLEASE IF YOU KNOW THAT YOUR LOVE WITH ME IS A REAL LOVE
TRY AND INSTRUCT MARY TO SEND THE MONEY TO ME SO THAT I WILL TAKE CEAR
OF MYSELF IN THE HOSPITAL FOR TREATMENT OF MY HEART PROBLEM.
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I DEVELOP THIS HEART PROBLEM DUE TO OVER
THINKING ABOUT YOUR HEALTH WHEN YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL.
IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL SEND THE MONEY TO ME AS YOUR BELOVE ONE TELL
ME PLEASE,BUT IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SEND IT TELL ME IMMEDIATELY SO
THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT NEXT TO DO BECAUSE ALL MY HOPE AND TRUST IS IN YOU.
AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS MAIL PLEASE TRY TO REPLY ME IMMEDIATELY.
I WAITE FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
THANK YOURS.
BELOVE PHILLIPE.
"UP THE ARSE"
N/B MY LOVE I HOPE YOU AND MARY ARE MAKING THE ARRAGEMENT TO COME AND
PICK ME HERE IN GHANA PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU PEOPLE TO COME AS SOON AS
POSSIBLE BECAUSE I WILL NOT LIKE TO STAY HERE IN GHANA TILL 15 OF THIS
MONTH I WILL LIKE TO STAY IN ENGLAND HAVEING FUN WITH YOU.PLEASE TRY TO
TELL MARY TO SEND THE MONEY I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE CONTROL NUMBER
AS SOON AS MARY SEND THE MONEY. MY LOVE REMAIN IN LOVE THANKS.
[Remember
when we said that Mary would unload big style? Well, here it is!]
[From Mary to Phillipe]
Dear fucking Phillipe,
I was extremely fucking offended when I opened your first fucking email today.
You are a fucking evil person to blame your motherfucking heart condition on Monty who is a sweet man, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU accuse Monty of causing your fucking ill health.
Listen to me you motherfucking little fucking bastard I have been fucking running around non fucking stop for the last three fucking days trying to organise this motherfucking £10,000 for you, I suggested that we meet you in Ghana AT OUR FUCKING EXPENSE I MIGHT FUCKING ADD and you fucking send me fucking abusive emails.
You really need to get your fucking act together and you fucking owe me a fucking apology, you should never bite the hand that fucking feeds you Phillipe. You are not in the fucking position where you can make fucking demands.
Tell me, how the fuck did you come to know Monty anyway? I want to fucking know.
You will fucking reply with a full fucking apology and in addition to this you will fucking follow and fucking obey ALL further instructions from me without fucking question.
Do you even read my fucking emails? I fucking told you that I could not fucking send the fucking money via fucking Western Fucking Union because of Montys fucking lawyers.
Open your motherfucking eyes and have some fucking respect and lay off the fucking emotional fucking blackmail.
Yours (extremely fucking annoyed),
Mary
Ps. Get the fucking message? Don't ever try to fucking bully me again you pea brained, beady eyed scrotum sucking homosexual motherfucker and have some fucking patience if you fucking want your fucking £10,000.
[Spot the
withnail and I reference in this email!]
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
MY DARLING SWEETBUNS
I DIDN'T REPLY YESTERDAY AS I WAS CRYING MY EYES OUT.
I LONGED TO SEND YOU THE MONEY SO YOU COULD BE BY MY SIDE. I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT MY LAWYER TOLD MARY I COULDN'T SEND YOU THE MONEY THAT I SHOT ONE OF MY SERVANTS IN THE LEG.
I LONG TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND HAVE YOU ROUGHLY FROM BEHIND. I WANT TO GIVE YOU STITCHES MY BOY.
I WILL BE WITH YOU SOON AND WE CAN MAKE LOVE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. I HOPE YOUR CLAWS AREN'T AS SHARP AS SHAGGY'S. SHE HURT ME WHEN WE MADE LOVE.
MARY WILL BE IN CONTACT AS SHE IS MAKING THE TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS. SHE MADE ME HAVE AN INJECTION TODAY TO STOP ME GETTING A DISEASE WHEN I COME TO YOUR BACKWARD COUNTRY.
PLEASE PHLIPPLE TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO ME WHEN WE MAKE LOVE. I WANT TO KNOW HOW GOOD A LOVER YOU WILL BE FOR ME.
I MEAN TO HAVE YOU BOY, EVEN IF IT IS BY BURGLARY.
PLEASE WRITE TO ME SOON AND TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT WE CAN DO TO EACH OTHER.
I LONG TO HAVE YOU
UP THE ARSE
LOVE ALWAYS
MONTY -X-
[That must have
rattled Phillipes cage a little bit! We love causing stress to scammers.]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
PLEASE I RECIEVE A LETTER YESTERDAY, I WANT KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE THE
ONE THAT SEND THE LETTER TO ME IF YOU ARE THE ONE, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME
WAHT I HAVE DONE. REMEMBER I TOOK YOU AS MY MUM, BECAUSE YOU ALWAY
ADVICE ME ON WHAT TO DO.
I WILL LIKE TO SEED YOU IN PERSON. WHEN ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING TO PICK
ME.
PLEASE I AM WACTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
THANKS
PHILLPE
[Mary
Demands an apology!]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
I was very annoyed with you when I sent that email, I want you to know that and you still owe me an apology, you blamed Monty for your illness and if you are a true friend of Monty then you would not have done that.
I was in the process of getting your £10,000 and booking travel arrangements for Monty and I to come to Ghana with your money.
You need to apologise fully for your conduct first or we are going nowhere.
Mary
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL.MY LOVE INFACT I LOVE YOU BUT THE WAY WAY
YOU ARE TREATING ME MAKES ME TO THINK OF MY CONDITION HERE IN GHANA.
YOU ARE TAIKING OF ARRANGEMENT OF COMING TO GHANA TO PICK ME. I AM
VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT.
PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU FINISH THE ARRANGEMENT OF YOU COMING, TRY TO
SEND YOUR FLIGHT SHADOW IN TIME,
YOU ARE TALKING OF LOVE. INFACT MONTY I WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVE I
HAVE FOR YOU AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER, PLEASE GO BY YOURSLF
AND THE MONEY THROUGH WESTHERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER. USE MY NAME
PHILLIPE MATHINS IMMEDIATELY YOU SEND ITB GIVE ME THE INFORMATION.
YOURS LOVE
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
NB MY LOVE PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, IF YOU KOW THAT YOU LOVE ME, I WANT YOU
TO SEND THE MONEY TOMORROW, SO THAT I WILL USE IT TO TREAT AND
MAINTION MYSEIF THEN WHEN YOU COME YOU WILL LIKE ME AS YOUR LOVE.
PLEASE I WANT TO HEARA GOODNEWS FROM YOU TOMOORROW.
[Phillipe
apologises!]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
LETTER OF APOLOGLY
DEAR MARY,
PLEASE I AM WRITING TO APOLOIZE TO YOU IN ANY OFFENCE I COMITTED
AGAINST YOU.
IF THERE IS ANY WORD I WROT THAT HIGHTENED YOUR TEMPER PLEASE I AM HERE
BY BEGED FOR APOLOGY. PLESAE FORGIVE AND FORGET.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[From Phillipe to Mary;]
DEAR MARY,
I HOPE YOU HAVE RECIEVE THE LETTER OF APOLOGY I WROFE TO YOU.
PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW THE TIME YOU AND MY FRIEND MONTY WANT TO COME
IAM VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR EFFORT YOU HAVE BEING MAKING .
PLEASE TRY TO TELL ME COME TO THE AIR-PORT AND PICK YOU AND MY FRIEND
MONTY.
I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU.
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Mary begins
a crusade telling Phillipe that Homosexuality is wrong! This is necessary
because we are going to use it in the end of the bait.]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Philliple,
I accept your apology.
I will make travel arrangements today and we will be bringing the £10,000 with us.
Monty tells me that you are his boyfriend?
As a minister I have to tell you that I find homosexual behaviour is against gods word, I urge you both to repent and stop making love to each other.
Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
Leviticus 20:13, "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
Deuteronomy 23:17, "There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel."
1 Kings 14:24, "And there were also sodomites in the land: and they did according to all the abominations of the nations which the LORD cast out before the children of Israel."
1 Kings 15:11-12, "And Asa did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, as did David his father. And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made."
Isaiah 3:9, "The shew of their countenance doth witness against them; and they declare their sin as Sodom, they hide it not. Woe unto their soul! for they have rewarded evil unto themselves."
Isaiah 13:19, "And Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the beauty of the Chaldees' excellency, shall be as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah."
Lamentations 4:6, "For the punishment of the iniquity of the daughter of my people is greater than the punishment of the sin of Sodom, that was overthrown as in a moment, and no hands stayed on her."
Ezekiel 16:49, "Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good."
1 Corinthians 6:9-11, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God."
1 Timothy 1:9-10, "Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;"
2 Peter 2:6, "And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;"
Jude 7, "Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire."
I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR HOMOSEXUAL SOUL, GOD BLESS YOU,
REVEREND MARY.
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
TANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL. WELL I AM HAPPY THAT YOU RECIEVE THE LETTER
OF APOLOGY I WROTE TO YOU PLEASE AS YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE MAKING THE
ARRANGEMENT TODAY FOR COMING AFTER THE ARRGEMENT TRY TO GET BACK TO ME
I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR ADVICE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MARY I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU ARE A VERY GOOD AND GOD FEARING WOMAN.
PLESAE AFTER THE ARRANGEMENT TRY TO GIVE ME THE FLIGHT SHEDULE.
THANK AND GOD WILL REWARD YOU
PHILLIPE
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
MY DARLING SWEETBUNS
I REALLY DO WANT TO GET YOU THE MONEY. I WILL DO ALL I CAN, BUT AS I AM A CERTIFIABLE LUNATIC I MUST GET MARY TO SIGN SOME PAPERS TO LET ME GET MY MONEY TO SEND TO YOU.
I WILL TRY MY HARDEST YOU HUNKY MOUND OF AFRICAN GODLINESS.
I REALLY WANT YOU BAD.
YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO ME IN DETAIL PHILLIPLE. THIS WILL GET ME HORNY AND I WILL WANT TO FGET THE MONEY TO YOU QUICKER.
COME ON BIG BOY, TELL ME HOW WE WILL MAKE LOVE.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE
MONTY -XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-
[From Mary
To Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
Will you be able to meet us at the airport?
What airport shall we fly to?
Please repent about your homosexual behaviour, homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of the lord.
Best wishes,
Mary
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
GOODDAY, AND HAPPY SUNDAY. THIS IS THE ADDRESS YOU WERE REqUESTING
FROM ME.
KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIR-PORT.ACCRA GHANA.
AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE IT CONTACT ME. ATTACH YOUR FLIHHY SHEDULE SO
THAT I WILL KNOW THE TIME AND DAY OF YOUR COMING WITH MY FRIEND MONTY.
PLEASE MARY I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND ME YOUR PHONE NO, SO IT WILL BE
EASY FOR ME TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.
GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Phillipe,
I'll get your telephone number off Monty my dear.
I will book the flight tomorrow and get back to you with my itinery.
Monty told me that he hasn't hear from you, he seems upset.
God bless you,
Mary
[Ooops! Phillipe
forgets his password!]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DEAR MONTY,
SORRY THAT I DIDN'T CONTACT YOU YESTERDAY, I HOPE THAT ALL THE
ARRNGEMENT HAD BEEN MAND. PLEASE TELL ME THE DAY OF COMING SO THAT I WILL COME
AND PICK YOU PEOPLE AT THE AIR-PORT.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW
YOUR WERE TALKING OF HOW WE WILL MAKE LOVE THAT IS WHY I SAY THAT YOU
YOU SHOULD CONNEDOWN SO THAT WE WILL MAKE LOVE TO OUR SATISFACTION.
MY LOVE PLEASE DON'T FORGET MY GIFT YOU PRMISE ME BEFORE I MEAN THE
CAMERA AND THE C.D.
AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER TRY TO GET BACK TO ME.
THANKS YOUR
LOVER PHILLIPE
NB. I HOPE MARY HAVE FINISHEA MAKING TH ARRANGEMENT OF THE COMING.
PLEASE GIVE ME THE TIME AND DATE YOU PEOPLE WILL COME.
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
PHLIPPLE
I FEEL THAT YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
YOU DIDN'T USE YOUR SPECIAL PASSWORD AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD ME HOW WE WILL BE MAKING LOVE. THIS MAKES ME THINK YOU DO NOT WANT ME ANY MORE.
WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TELL ME HOW YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO ME?
I AM GOING TO TELL MARY NOT TO BOTHER AND I'M GOING TO SMASH YOUR GIFTS INTO A THOUSAND TINY PIECES, THE SAME WAY YOU HAVE BROKEN MY HEART.
I LOVED YOU SO MUCH.
UP THE ARSE
GOODBYE
MONTY -X-
[From Phillipe to Mary;]
DEAR MARY,
GOODDAY I HAVE WROTE TO MONTY, AS SOON AS YOU FINISH BOOKING THE FLIGHT
CONTACT ME BACK .
GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[From
Phillipe to Monty]
MY DEARST MONTY,
SORRY THAT I DIDN'T REPLY YOUR LETTER IN TIME. INFACT I HAVE BEING
EXPECTING YOU FOR A LONG TIME TO COME AND PICK ME HERE IN GHANA TO STAY
WITH YOU IN ENGLAND.
MONTY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OK. MARY TOLD ME THAT SHE IS BOOKING THE
FLIGHT. PLEASE MY SWEETHEART TELL ME THE DAY OF YOR COMING. BECAUSE I WANT
TO GIVE YOU ALL THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU WHEN YOU COME.
MY DEAR LOVE, UNDERSTAND THAT I LOVE YOU. WHEN YOU COMEDOWN I WILL KISS
YOU THE KISSES OF LOVE. AND WE WILL MAKE LOVE EVERY NIGHT YOU WILL HOLD
ME IN YOUR ARM. AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY LOVE BECAUSE MY LOVE IS FOR YOU.
PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE PASSWORD, I WILL NOT FORGET IT AGAIN.
MY LOVE MONTY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE XMAS
HERE IN GHANA. I WANT YOU TO COME AND PICK ME TO ENGLAND.
AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER PLEASE CONTACT ME WITH GOOD NEWS THE
TIME YOU WILL COME AND PICK ME
THANKS YOURS LOVER
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[Let's give
him some good news because we want him to perform another trick for us
soon!]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Philliple,
I have booked the flights for Monty and I, we will be arriving on December 23rd at Kotoka international airport, British Airways flight BA81 and we will be arriving at 18:50 pm (ten minutes to seven).
You will need to make sure that you are there to meet us. Here is our itinery;
Outbound
Tue 23 Dec 03 British Airways (BA81) Depart: Heathrow (LHR) 11:50
Arrive: Kotoka (ACC) 18:50
Flight duration: 7:00
Direct flight
Return
Tue 30 Dec 03 British Airways (BA78) Depart: Kotoka (ACC) 23:30
Arrive: Heathrow (LHR) 06:45 + 1 day(s)
Flight duration: 7:15
Direct flight
We will bring the £10,000 with us in US dollars, you can book us a room in the Sheraton or the Hilton.
Monty means to make love to you so you'd better book a double room for yourselves, I find the whole business of what you do filthy so you can book me a single room. We will pay when we get there.
God bless you Philliplele,
Reverend Mary
[Phillipe is
elated!]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
MY LOVE MONTY,
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
MARY SEND THE FLIGHT SHEDULE TO ME.
INFACT MY LOVE,I AM VERY VERY HAPPY TO HEAR WHEN YOU PEOPLE ARE COMING.
MY HEART IS FULL OF LOVE. I AM WAITING FOR YOU TO COME DOWN LETS US
MAKE LOVE. BEBAUSE LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AND I AM MISSING YOU. BUT MY LOVE
MONTY, WHY YOU NEVER CONTACT ME SINCE I SEND LETTER TO YOU .
I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOM YOU SOON
THANKS YOURS
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
GOODMORNING,THANK YOU FOR THE INFORMATION YOU GAVE ME. I AM VERY
GRATEFUL FOR YOUR EFFORT.
I WILL BE GOING TO THE HOTEL FOR THE BOOKING OF THE ROOM.
I WILL GET BACK TO YOU LATER.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE
[Here's Phillipe's
next task! Mwahahhaha!]
[From Monty
To Phillipe]
DREAREST SWEETCHEEKS
I AM SORRY THAT I DIDN'T WRITE BACK TO YOU, BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS GOING TO SEE YOU I WENT MAD WITH EXCITEMENT AND HAD TO BE SEDATED.
I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AND HAVING YOU OVER THE DINING ROOM TABLE ON CHRISTMAS DAY.
GOLDEN BROWN, TEXTURE LIKE SUN, LAYS ME DOWN, WITH MY MIND SHE RUNS.
I AM MAKING ARRANGEMTENTS FOR YOU TO COME AND STAY WITH ME AND HAVE CONTACTED THE DEPARTMENT FOR HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGES AT THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT.
THEY HAVE ASKED THAT YOU CONTACT THEM AS PART OF THE PROCESS TO ALLOW YOU TO STAY. I HAVE INTRODUCED THEM AND TOLD THEM THAT WE ARE TO BE MARRIED AND THEY HAVE AGREED TO RUSH A VISA THROUGH FOR YOU.
PLEASE TELEPHONE THEM ON THE FOLLOWING NUMBER :- XX XX XXXXXXXXXX. THEY ARE A VERY BUSY DEPARTMENT SO YOU WILL PROBABLY BE ASKED TO LEAVE A MESSAGE. IT IS FOR MR I. ROGER BUMMS, YOUR CASE WORKER. HE HAS ASKED THAT YOU USE HIS NAME AT THE START OF THE CALL. I HAVE TOLD HIM OF YOUR POSITION IN AFRICA AND EXPLAINED THAT YOU WILL ASK HIM FOR HELP.
PLEASE SAY THE FOLLOWING VERY SLOWLY :-
" I ROGER BUMMS, I ROGER BUMMS. MY NAME IS PHILLIPE MATHINS AND I AM A HOMOSEXUAL. I WANT TO MOVE TO ENGLAND SO I CAN BE A HAPPY HOMO AND SCORE LOTS OF TALENT. I LOVE FELCHING. DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY, I CAN'T SURVIVE, I CAN'T STAY ALIVE, SO DARLING DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY."
MY SOLICITOR MR ISAAC COX HAS MADE SURE THE WORDING WILL BE OK UNDER THE ANUL-PHYSTING ACT OF 1977.
HE WILL THEN CONTACT ME AND PROVIDE ME WITH THE PAPER WORK YOU NEED.
PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME MY DEAR AND I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU.
ALL MY LOVE TO ETERNITY
MONTY -X-
P.S. IF YOU TRY TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MARY AND SHE DOESN'T REPLY IT IS BECAUSE SHE IS HAVING TROUBLE WITH HER GASH. A WOMBLE ATTACKED IT, SO SHE WILL HAVE TO GET HER MOTT CUT. SHE IS LOOKING FOR A SUITABLE ANGLE GRINDER AND MAY BE AWAY SOME TIME.
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DARLING MONTY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL. I AM VERY VERY HAPPY FOR ALL THE ARRANGEMENT
YOU HAVE MADE.
MONTY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OK.
REMEMBER MY PROBLEM HERE IN GHANA THE MONEY MY LATE FATHER DEPOSITER
FOR ME IN THE COMPANY.PLEASE DON'T FORGET MY CAMERA AND MY CD. WHEN YOU
ARE COMING OK.
DARLING,IF THERE IS ANYOTHER ARRANGEMENT YOU ARE MAKING ABOUT OUR
WEDDING, TRY TO TELL ME SO THAT I WOULD KNOW.
MY LOVE, PLEASE ANYTIME I SEND MAIL TO YOU TRY TO GET BACK TO ME
IMMEDIATELY OK.
I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY.
MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU !! AND I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO
COME AND PICK ME.
YOURS LOVER
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
NB. MY LOVE, REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE KILLED MY LATE FATHER.
I AM AFRAID BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW MY FATHER'S ENEMY THAT IS WHY I WANT
TO LEAVE AFRICA. IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME I WANT MY PROBLEM TO BE
BETWEEN ME AND YOU.
DARLING I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!! AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
GOODDAY, WHY I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU, IS ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU? LET ME
KNOW.
PLEASE MARY, YOU MADE MISTAKE FOR THE HOTEL YOU SAID THAT I SHOULD
BOOK. THE SHERATON AND HILTON HOTEL ARE NOT HERE IN GHANA, BUT I WILL LOOK
FOR ANOTHER GOOD HOTEL HERE IN GHANA.
INFACT MARY I AM VERY VERY HAPPY FOR YOUR COMING WITH MY FRIEND MONTY
BECAUSE I WILL LIKE TO SEE YOU IN PERSON.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EFFORT.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE.
[As usual
Phillipe needs a push! We really want to here him saying some Communards
lyrics!]
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
DEAR ARSE BANDIT
WHY HAVEN'T YOU PHONED THE GOVERNMENT? I ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING AND YOU DIDN'T. I'M CRYING NOW TYPING THIS. I'M NOT TAKING MY TABLETS UNTIL YOU PHONE THEM. IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD PHONE.
I AM GOING TO GO AND FIND SOMEONE AND HURT THEM BADLY BECAUSE OF YOU. I AM GOING TO HIT THEM IN THE HEAD WITH A ROCK AND THEN LICK THEIR BLOOD.
I WILL REMIND YOU OF THE ONE THING I ASKED YOU TO DO:
PLEASE TELEPHONE THEM ON THE FOLLOWING NUMBER :- XX XX XXXXXXXXXX. THEY ARE A VERY BUSY DEPARTMENT SO YOU WILL PROBABLY BE ASKED TO LEAVE A MESSAGE. IT IS FOR MR I. ROGER BUMMS, YOUR CASE WORKER. HE HAS ASKED THAT YOU USE HIS NAME AT THE START OF THE CALL. I HAVE TOLD HIM OF YOUR POSITION IN AFRICA AND EXPLAINED THAT YOU WILL ASK HIM FOR HELP.
PLEASE SAY THE FOLLOWING VERY SLOWLY :-
" I ROGER BUMMS, I ROGER BUMMS. MY NAME IS PHILLIPE MATHINS AND I AM A HOMOSEXUAL. I WANT TO MOVE TO ENGLAND SO I CAN BE A HAPPY HOMO AND SCORE LOTS OF TALENT. I LOVE FELCHING. DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY, I CAN'T SURVIVE, I CAN'T STAY ALIVE, SO DARLING DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY."
IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS YOU CAN'T HAVE A VISA AND I WILL GET THE FLIGHTS CANCELLED AND GO AND HURT MORE PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE HURT ME SO MUCH.
YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME YOU HURT ME
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
PLEASE DO IT FOR ME MY LITTLE FUCKWITT. I LONG TO KICK YOUR BACK DOOR IN.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE
MONTY - X-
[From
Phillipe to Monty]
Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 09:02:04 -0500
DEAR MONTY,
I HAVE PHONE THE GOVERNMENT THIS MORNING. THEIR PHONE WAS IN EXTRA
MACHINE, SO I DROP MESSAGE TO THEM.
DARLING MONTY I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU TO COMEDOWN TO GHANA HEREN AND
PICK ME TO ENGLAND. I WILL BE EXPECTING YOU AND MARY? ON THAT DAY 23RD
DECEMBER. HOW IS MARY? I HOPE SHE IS OK.
I WILL BE WARTING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU GET YHIS LETTER.
THANKS YOURS
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
CLICK
HERE TO HEAR THE VOICE OF PHILLIPE!
[99kb]
[Now we want him to
draw a picture of himself naked but we need to set a sprat to catch a
mackerel so to speak, hence the hastily edited attachment!]
[From Monty
to Phillipe]
MY DARLING ARSE BANDIT
YOU HAVE MADE ME A HAPPY MONTY. MR BUMMS RANG ME AND IS ARRANGING FOR YOUR VISA. HE SAID THAT YOU MAY NEED TO FILL IN A FORM FOR HIM, SO I WILL GET IT AND SEND IT TO YOU.
I AM MEETING MARY TOMORROW SO I CAN NOT WRITE TO YOU MY DARLING. I PROMISE THAT I WILL WRITE TO YOU THE DAY AFTER AS WE MUST START PLANNING OUR WEDDING.
I HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU. IT IS A NAKED PHOTO OF ME TAKEN ABOUT 8 YEARS AGO. LOOK AT MY COCK. DO YOU LIKE IT?
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKENAKED BUT I KNOW IT IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE. CAN YOU EITHER SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOURSELF NAKED OR DRAW ONE AND SEND IT TO ME.
YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD ARTIST
I HAVE BOUGHT YOU A LITTLE GIFT TODAY. IT IS A LAPTOP COMPUTER AS I KNOW YOU LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOUR NAKEDNESS.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE
I ONLY INJURED FOUR VILLAGERS YESTERDAY AND HAVE NOW TAKEN MY TABLETS. AS I STOOD OVER THEIR BODIES I SMEARED THEIR BLOOD ON MY CHEST AND CALLED OUT YOUR NAME.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
MONTY - X -
[Obviously
the version we send Phil Was bereft of the logo!]
[Lots of spelling
mistakes here, perhaps the photo has affected him?]
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DWAR MARY,
GOODDAY, I HAVE BEEN WRRTING TO YOU BUT I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU, WHY?
PLEASE TRY TO GET BACK TO ME. AND THE NECCESSARY INORMATION.
AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS LETTER TRY TO GET BACK TO ME.
THANKS AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE.
[This mail is classic
stuff, can you believe that this little scammer was trying to pull a
security company scam on Monty not so long ago?]
[From
Phillipe to Monty]
MY SWEETHEAR MONTY,
AS YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE HAPPY.
IAM ASIO VERY HAPPY TOO.
DARLING AS SOON AS YOU COME BACK FROM MARY'S PLACE TRY TO GET BACK TO
ME.
SWEETHEART ILOVE YOUR COCK TOO MUCH, THE TIME I WAS LOOKING IT,
I KISS YOUR COCK BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH.
MONTY I LOVE, HERE IN AFRICA IT IS VERT DIFFICULF TO TELL A
PHOTOGRAPHER TO SNAP YOUR NAKEDNESS.DARLING WHEN YOU ARE COMING SO THAT YOU WILL
SNAP MY NAKEDNESS AS MAY TIMES AS YOU WANT OK.
YOU SAID THAT YOU HAVE BOUGHT A LAP-TOPCOMPUTER FOR ME, PLEASE DARLING
DON'T FORET TOBRING IT WHEN YOU ARE COMING.
SWEETHEART, I AM WARTING FOR YOU COME qUICK AND PICK ME.
I AM WARTING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER.
YOURS LOVER
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
DARLIING MONTY,
I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE COME BACK FROM MARY'S PLACE. LET ME HEAR
FROM YOU .
PLEASE MY LOVE MONTY I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU COMEDOWN AND PICK ME
I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU DARLING AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS LETTER .
YOURS SWEETHEART
PHILLIPE
"UP THE ARSE"
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dearest Phillipelele,
I beg your pardon, I was away for a few days having my gash trimmed, I am back home now though.
Monty is liasing with I Roger Bumms to get your visa and as far as I know everything is great, I have your £10,000 here in a little briefcase.
We'll see each other soon, Monty is very excited.
God bless you,
Mary
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MARY,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL AND YOUR EFFORT. I THANK GOD THAT YOU HAVE
COME BACK.I WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU AND MY FRIEND MONTY SOON AS YOU SAID.
PLEASE MARY I WANT YOU TO PUT MORE EFFORT FOR MY VISA.OK. FROM NOW TO
MONDAY I WANT TO HEAR A GOODNEWS THAT MY VISA IS OUT.
I WILL BE EXPECTING YOU PEOPLE ON THAT DAY 23RD DEC. AS YOU SAID.AS
SOON AS YOU RECIEVE THIS LETTER PLEASE LET ME HEAR YOU ASOON.
THANKS GOD BLESS YOU
YOURS
PHILLIPE.
[Mary has
another pop at homosexuals..]
[From Mary to
Phillipe]
Dear Philliple,
Don't worry my dear, Monty is a very wealthy and powerful man, he will make sure that you get your visa.
Mister I Roger Bumms is also a good friend of Monty because they used to be lovers. I am sure that Mr. Bumms will make sure that your visa is issued quickly.
Monty is going to buy you a car I think.
He bought you a pentium 4 notebook the other day, it's lovely.
I just wish that you two were not homosexuals, it is against gods law.
Anyway god bless you and all who cum in you,
Rev mary.
[And Monty
is in a bad frame of mind.... More stress for poor old Phil!]
[From Monty
To Phillipe]
MY DARLING BUTT FUCKER
I HAVE JUST GOT BACK FROM THAT BITCH MARYS HOUSE.
SHE IS EVIL PHLILLPL SHE CALLED US EVIL FOR BEING IN LOVE. SHE THINKS ITS WRONG FOR YOU TO WANT TO KISS MY COCK.
IF SHE KEEPS DOING THIS PHLLIPPLE I AM GOING TO HAVE NO OPTION OTHER THAN TO KILL HER. I WILL DO THIS FOR YOU MY DARLING. I WILL NOT HAVE THAT WITCH GETTING IN BETWEEN US WITH HER SOGGY GASH WHEN WE ARE MAKING LOVE.
IF SHE TELLS ME ONE MORE TIME THAT WE ARE DOING WRONG I WILL KILL HER LIKE I DID TO THAT LORRY DRIVER
SHE THINKS ITS WRONG THAT I HAVE STOPPED TAKING MY TABLETS, BUT THE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD SAY THAT THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR ME. THEY WANT ME TO BURN THE CHURCH. I THINK THAT THIS MIGHT BE GOOD. THEY SAID YOU WOULD LIKE THAT.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BURN THE CHURCH FOR YOU MY DARLING?
I HAVE BOUGHT YOU A CAR. I HOPE YOU CAN DRIVE. IT IS A VOLKSWAGEN POLO. I PICKED IT BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU.
I KNOW IT IS HARD FOR YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR NAKEDNESS, BUT PLEASE, THE PEOPLE IN MY HEAD WANT YOU TO DRAW YOUR NAKEDNESS AND SEND IT TO ME. I WANT TO SEE YOUR BUTT NAKED SCRAWNY BODY. PLEASE DRAW YOURSELF.
I WILL BUY YOU SOME JEWELLERY IF I CAN SEE YOUR NAKED BODY.
I HURT ANOTHER VILLAGER TODAY. HE WOULDN'T LET ME WRITE YOUR NAME ON HIS HOUSE WALL SO I SLICED HIS FACE WITH MY KNIFE. I DID THIS FOR YOU MY CRETIN.
I WILL MAKE MARY PAY WITH HER LIFE IF SHE SAYS ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU.
BURN THEM. MAKE THEM SUFFER. LET THEIR BLOOD AND SCREAMS FUEL THE FIRE THAT BURNS WITHIN ME.
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE UP THE ARSE
ALL MY LOVE
MONTY -X-
[Uh-Oh!
Monty really is on the slide!!!!!!!]
[From Monty to
Phillipe]
MY DEAREST COCK SUCKER
I CAN FEEL THE PAIN SWELLING IN MY HEAD. IT IS TELLING ME TO DO THINGS TO PEOPLE PHLIPPL.
IT IS TELLING ME THEY MUST BE PUNISHED FOR ALL THAT HAVE SINNED AGAINST THE TEACHINGS OF THE GRAND EXULTED POOBAH.
I WANT TO HURT SOMEONE FOR YOU PHLIPPLE. I WILL HURT MARY. TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU WANT ME TO HURT HER. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD HIT HER WITH.
I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS I WANT A DRAWING OF YOUR NAKEDNESS
I NEED TO SEE YOUR SCRAWNY LITTLE BODY AND YOUR ARMS WITH MUSCLES LIKE KNOTS IN COTTON.
I CAN FEEL THE MAN TELLING ME TO TAKE MY KNIFE AND HUNT IN THE WOODS. I AM HAPPY NOT TO TAKE MY TABLETS FOR YOU. I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU. LET ME SEE YOUR NAKEDNESS SO I CAN BE AT ONE WITH THE DEMONS IN MY MIND.
UP THE ARSE
I AM GOING NOW TO SIT IN THE FOREST AND WILL KILL AN OWL FOR YOU. YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME A GARDEN WOLF AND FOR THAT AN ANIMAL MUST SUFFER.
SHAGGY WOULD NOT SHOW ME HER NAKEDNESS SO SHE HAD TO DIE.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOUR NAKEDNESS.
MONTY -X-
[Someone has
killed Marys Chickens!]
[From Mary
To Phillipe]
Dear Philliplele,
I am quite concerned about Monty.. He scared me last night, I awoke in the early hours of the morning and I had fallen asleep in the living room.
I woke up and I could see a face peering in at me from the window, it was Monty.
His face was smeared in blood and he was only there for a second because I looked again and he had gone.
Phillipe I don't think he is taking his tablets and his homosexuality is making him ill. I keep telling him that what he does with your penis is wrong and he should stop.
I went to feed the chickens this morning and they had all been killed, there was blood everywhere and I think somebody had had sex with them.
I also found a dead owl in my wellington boot.
What is going on Philipe?
Has Monty been acting strangely towards you?
You should tell him to take his tablets otherwise he might kill again. That lorry driver was a bad one.....
God bless you
Mary
[Phillipe begs his
gay lover to take his medication! Oh and send me £1,000 while you're
doing it!!!!!!]
[From Phillipe to
Monty]
my sweetheart monty,
listen to my advice you know that soon we shall see each order and make our love. ok. please my love don't do anything to mary, ok. because
soon we shall stay together. my love come and pick me here in ghana so that all this confssion will
stop. no body can stop our love. I will be warting to you and mary on that day 23rd
dec.
I am very happy to hear that you have bought a car for me, thanks, please my love don't burn any church and don't go to the bush if you
know that you love me. Take your tablet.As soon as you get the visa let me know. please my darling when you are
coming to pick me don't forget all my gift you bought for me. ok. please if you konw that youlove me don't do any thing to mary because
you konw that you are coming with her.
my love monty, i need (1000pounds}for my cream cracker, my body creame
you people on that day. my love please send this money tomorrow morning by yourself through my
name phillipe marthins lf you know that you realy love me, don't fell to send the money tomorrow moning (send it thrugh westhern union money
transfer)lf they ask you tell them that are sending it to your wife.
darling as soon as you recieve this letter, let me hear you soon.
yours lover
phillipe.
"UP THE ARSE"
NB MY LOVE I have draw my nakedness today been sunday. but noway for me
to scan it because tomorrow been monday and send to you. ok.
[From Phillipe to
Mary]
DEAR MOARY,
GOODDAY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAIL. I AM SURE YOU ARE STILL GIVING MY
FRIEND MONTY HIS TABLET, BECAUSE A FRIEND INDEED IS A FRIEND IN NEED.
GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR EFFPRT. I WILL BE VERY VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU ON
THAT DAY 23RD DEC AS YOU SAID.
I AM HAPPY THAT SOON WE SHALL SEE EACH ORDER.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
YOURS
PHILLIPE.
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