Archive for the ‘Article’ Category

Jenis Keputusan Moral

Penjelasan akan Teknik Pengambilan Keputusan Moral

Di dalam menghadapi masa sekarang ini, kita sering dibingungkan oleh pilihan-pilihan yang diperhadapkan kepada kita. Pertanyaan yang sering kita dengar, atau bahkan kita ajukan adalah: Apakah itu benar atau salah? Apakah sesuatu itu baik atau buruk? Tidak jarang pula perbedaan antara yang baik dan buruk dicampuradukkan dengan yang benar dan salah. (misalnya: mencuri itu salah, tapi bisa jadi dianggap baik kalau untuk menolong orang miskin; atau berbohong demi kebaikan).

Sebelum kita melangkah lebih jauh mengenai penjelasan moral, kita perlu juga memperoleh pengertian yang benar mengenai apa itu moral. Kata moral sering digunakan dengan sembarangan, dan cenderung tertukar dengan etika dan etiket. Moral adalah menyangkut baik buruknya seorang manusia sebagai manusia. Etika memberikan pertimbangan mengenai moral (etika kedokteran, hukum). Etiket, adalah cara pergaulan yang dilakukan manusia (kalo gak ada manusia lain brarti gak beretiket: ngupil). Jadi jelas, ketiganya adalah hal yang berbeda, meskipun memiliki kesamaan.

Mengambil Keputusan Moral
Sekurang-kurangnya ada dua ukuran moral yang berbeda, yaitu ukuran yang ada di dalam hati kita dan ukuran yang dipakai orang sewaktu mereka menilai diri kita. Hati nurani sebagai ukuran subyektif dan norma (hukum moral) sebagai ukuran obyektif adalah ukuran yang dipakai atas moralitas manusia. Dengan kata lain, hati nurani memberitahukan kepadaku mana yang benar; dan norma (peraturan dalam masyarakat: hukum) diberikan untuk menunjukkan kepada semua orang untuk menentukan mana yang benar itu. Hati nurani juga dapat keliru karena kita terbentuk di dalam masyarakat yang tidak sempurna, dan norma-norma juga dapat keliru atau kurang tepat dirumuskan karena terbentuk dari rumusan-rumusan hati nurani tadi.

Kita dapat melihat bahwa hubungan antara hati nurani dan norma moral terkait dengan erat. Hati nurani yang dimiliki masing-masing individu akan membentuk sebuah peraturan dan norma bersama. Norma yang terbentuk ini akan menjadi batasan-batasan di mana tindakan seseorang akan dinilai. Norma yang ada di dalam masyarakat juga akan membentuk hati nurani seseorang. Seseorang tidak bisa lepas dari komunitasnya. Komunitas akan membentuk kepribadian, termasuk hati nurani seseorang. (bayangkan seorang anak yang dibesarkan di lingkungan penjahat, inilah sebabnya ada hukum yang menolak kaum homoseksual untuk mengadopsi anak karena takut sang anak akan meniru perilaku mereka) Namun, hampir semua tokoh etika sepakat bahwa hati nurani harus berada di atas hukum moral apapun. Hati nurani, yang adalah milik individu, menjadi ujung tombak pembentukan sebuah ruang moralitas yang baik. Read the rest of this entry »

List Of Stupid Questions I’ve Heard About Indonesia

I’ve been traveling for quite some time now, and by doing so I met a lot of people. I’m amazed that some people are ignorant or really have no idea at all about Indonesia. I heard some funny questions about Indonesia that made me laugh when I heard them asking those questions. So, I come up with 10 stupid questions that were asked to me about Indonesia:

10. Is it near Bali?

9. Can I buy clothes there?

8. Why aren’t you surprised to see tall buildings here? Have you seen any back home?

7. You speak English quite well, do you speak English there?

6. You do have toilets right?

5. Is it one of Bali’s provinces?

4. Is it true that you use peanut butter as salad dressing?

3. Is it in Middle East?

2. Are you Hindu, it’s the largest Hindu country right?

1. Do you eat normal food like bread?

74 Geologists Meet To Deciding The Cause Of Mud Volcano

Mud VolcanoFinally, some decision on the mud volcano issue! A majority of top geologists voted that the cause of mud volcano in Sidoarjo, East Java, Indonesia was caused by the Lapindo Brantas drilling for gas and oil. The decision was taken among 74 geologists in Cape Town, South Africa at a conference of the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, which ran from October 26-29. The topic of debate Lusi, the name of Indonesian mud volcano which erupted in May 2006, has triggered a social and environmental disaster. The volcano has swamped 12 villages and displaced around 30,000 people and continues to spew boiling mud at a rate sufficient to fill 53 Olympic swimming pools each day.

There were four varying hypotheses, including University Durham’s professor of geology, Richard Davies. Forty-two scientists voted in favour of Davies’ argument that the cause lay with a gas exploration well, Banjar-Panji-1, that was being drilled in the area by oil and gas company Lapindo Brantas, it said. Three scientists say the blame lies with an earthquake two days earlier in Yogyakarta, 280 kilometres away, which has always become the defensive reason of Lapindo Brantas, the company that tarted the drilling. Sixteen said the evidence was inconclusive, while 13 believed that a combination of quake and drilling was to blame.

Whatever the decision is, the cause is not fully clear because not everybody agree on one hypothese. At least the majority believe that the mud volcano was triggered by the drilling. I hope this can shed some light on the case!

Check out the news here!

On Being An Adult

being an adultOn October 12th 1980, 10 am, a boy was born at Pringadi Hospital, Medan. Twenty eight years later, on the same day of his birth, which is Sunday, he is already a man. He feels that he has been blessed in so many ways through life experiences, friends, families, good and bad times. All those learning has made him a grown up. At least, he feels as one.

Yes, to be a grown up, an adult, mature. They are challenging words. Lately, I feel that I need to rethink what is the meaning of being mature? I felt challenged by a very close friend’s statement, “You behave as if you are still a teenager, you have not grown up!” Even though she was jokingly saying it (which I think she was quite serious), her question struck me, what made her say that? Am I still not a grown up?

Well, this is not an apologetic essay or some sort, but it got me thinking, what is the meaning of being mature? . Wikipedia mentions that, “Adulthood can be defined in terms of biology, psychological adult development, law, personal character, or social status. These different aspects of adulthood are often inconsistent and contradictory. A person may be biologically an adult, and have adult behavioral characteristics but still be treated as a child if they are under the legal age of majority. Conversely one may legally be an adult but possess none of the maturity and responsibility that define adult character.” I think I can safely claim that what she criticized was my adult character.

My definition of “being an adult” is: being independent - yet not selfish and still listens to other’s opinion - in taking decisions and choosing life directions, able to live and enjoy life, and being responsible for every actions that he takes.

Okay, I hang out with some friends who are younger than my age (and some even dare to call me Om!). I like discussing not-important topics. I like throwing jokes (even most of my friends claimed that I’m not as funny as I think I am). I think those are the reasons why I can be seen as immature. However, eventhough I think I am impulsive, yet I like to plan my life ahead. I like taking risk while always count the probability. So, I am still an adult based on my own definition of being an adult.

My line of work demands a serious type of person, but I can’t see why seriousness can’t go along with fun-ness. I can be serious at times; and become the joker when tension is up. I think my art and fun side is wrestling with my systematic side, and I tend to mix them both. I know its not the best formula for everyone because maybe some would prefer seeing me as a serious person, but I like being who I am. I think my reflection is how I can have fun in what I’m doing yet looks like an adult.

Turning 28 means God has led my path so far, and by faith I’m sure that God will keep on leading me on God’s way. Thus, I am sure that God will equip me with the needed tools and knowledge to serve God, including on being an adult! Happy birthday to me!

Types Of Facebook Status Update

Lately I have seen a lot of my friends on Facebook are constantly updating their status. Some are even doing it on hourly basis. These updates have different targets and purposes. BBC News share a story where a man was convicted of murdering his wife, and one of the reasons was because she had changed her status to “single” only days after he moved out. He felt humiliated by her action and stabbed her with a kitchen knive.

Okay, that was pretty extreme. I would like to analyse some of the updates that are obvious. Let’s classify them based on the purpose of their status update, just for the fun of it! All examples here are real status updates taken from various people on my 600 friends list!

1. Campaigning their social activities! Building public awareness.
xxx (a friend’s name) Ben Bernanke extreme look-a-like at S’Bux on Conn Ave and R this morning. People asking for pics. One dude flipped him off.
xxx is anxious to vote already!!!!! GO OBIDEN !!!!
xxx is Berpikir dan terus berpikir : bagaimana caranya mengusir untuk selamanya perusahaan perusak lingkungan (PT Toba Pulp Lestari) dari seputar Danau Toba ?

2. Concern about current global/local condition.

xxx is in distress. She wonders how Aburizal Bakrie feels right now.

xxx is waiting for new release Ubuntu 8.10 next week!!

xxx Crazy INDONESIAN Support for Indonesian Players for Danish Open!!

3. Stating the obvious.

xxx is living the life.

xxx is all mixed up.

xxx is asik hujan,,ga panas lagi..hehehe!

4. Telling everyone about what they are doing.

xxx is stuck at suvarnablahblahblah airport!

xxx is unwinding with a few episodes of The Simpsons. Yeah!!

xxx is at McD Malioboro.

5. Trying to create new gossip!

xxx is mo jalan2 sama pacar yg luamaaaa skali datengnyaaaa… ^o^.

xxx is wishing to be able to tell the truth.

xxx ich vermisse dich!!!!! Read the rest of this entry »

Daftar Produk Makanan Impor Cina Yang Ditarik

Sekitar 53,000 anak di Cina telah sakit dan 4 meninggal dunia karena produk susu yang mereka minum ternyata mengandung bahan kimia melamin. Berita ini membuat heboh dunia karena beberapa perusahaan susu besar di Cina menggunakan bahan yang berbahaya ini. Beberapa perusahaan menyalahkan supplier susu mereka yang mencampur bahan melamin dengan susu asli karena menaikkan kandungan protein dalam susu tersebut. Beberapa pejabat Cina yang terkait dengan perijinan makanan dan kesehatan telah mengundurkan diri karena skandal ini.

Produk yang mengandung melamin ternyata bukan hanya susu bubuk, tetapi juga produk lain yang mengandung susu seperti permen, biskuit susu, dll. Produk Cina yang terkontaminasi juga menyebar sampai ke Afrika. Indonesia juga tidak luput dari masalah ini.

Badan Pengawas Obat dan Makanan (BPOM) bertindak dengan menyurati Asosiasi Peritel Indonesia untuk melakukan penarikan, menyegel dan melaporkan produk terkait. Produk-produk yang ditarik dari peredaran karena diduga mengandung susu dari China adalah:

Jinwel Yougoo (susu fermentasi rasa jeruk, aneka buah, dan tanpa rasa), Guozhen (susu bubuk full cream), Meiji Indoeskrim Gold Monas (rasa coklat dan vanila), Oreo Stick Wafer, Oreo Sandwich Cookies, M&M’s (Kembang gula coklat susu), Snicker’s (Biskuit-Nougat lapis coklat), Dove Choc (Kembang gula coklat), Natural Choice yogurt Flavoured Ice Bar, Yili Bean Club (matcha Read Bean ice bar, red bean ice bar, Yili Prestige Chocliz, Chesnut Ice Bar), Nestle Dairy Farm UHT pure mild, Yili High Calcium low fat Milk Beverage, Yili High Calcium Milk Beverage, Yili pure milk, Dutch Lady Strawberry Flavoured milk, White Rabbit creamy candy, dan Yili Choice Dairy Frozen Yogurt Bar.

Jadi apabila anda mengkonsumsi beberapa makanan di atas sebaiknya anda berhenti dulu sampai tahu kualitas kesehatan makanan yang anda konsumsi.

Artinya “maho!”

Ada sebuah posting menarik di Kaskus.com yang memposting salah satu post blog ini tentang Kisah Cinta Laura dan Maho. Mereka tidak membahas tentang kisah Cinta Laura dan Maho yang rumit itu, melainkan mencoba meraba-raba arti kata “Maho”. This is fascinating karena aku adalah orang yang sangat sering menggunakan kata “Maho!” (pengucapannya harus seperti kalo kita mau bilang “Shut Up!) dalam kosa kataku hahaha.

Forum ini kemudian mencoba membahas arti kata Maho, mulai dari MAnusia HOmo, MAlaysia HOkki, atau MAlingsia HOmo, atau MAnusia begHO. Ga’ jelas siapa yang memulainya, tapi yang pasti semuanya salah tangkap. Kalau begitu apa sebenarnya arti kata MAHO? Aku akan menjelaskan apa sebenarnya arti kata ini dari sejarah kata ini mulai digunakan. Read the rest of this entry »

Trust Yourself To Trust Others

“How many people are you trusted with your deepest problems?” Or, “Have you ever been betrayed by the person you trust, and how did you restore that trust? “I was inspired by these intriguing questions raised during our conference team building in Caux last mid-July 2008. Then they told me to write “a story where trust has been betrayed, and what did you do to build trust again.”

I think my story is worth to be shared here. In my line of work, trust is something that I have to deal with on daily basis. I have to build trust between me and congregation. People come to me and share about their problems because they trusted me and I am content to respect that trust. Trust is an ongoing process that can be build on integrity. However, I realised that I am not a trusting person. I don’t have any problem with building trust in work, or in a team. What I do have is a problem in trusting other people about my own personal problem. I think I’m fairly a good listener but I don’t think there are many people whom I shared my deepest feelings with. I don’t usually share my stories to other people. This is troublesome, how can I be trustworthy when I can’t trust other people? Read the rest of this entry »

December 21st, 2012: The End Of The World?

Okay, you probably have heard a lot of writings, issues, or prediction about when the world ends. I think that this one prediction is worth noted. Why? Because last week, de Volkskrant and Expatica mentioned that thousand of people in the Netherlands believe in this prediction. They said that there are more people in the Netherlands who believed in this prophecy than those in United States and Poland. These Dutch people are even buying survival rations and boats. What is it about this prophecy that could influence many people in the Netherlands?

December 21st 2012 (some said its December 23rd) is the end of the Mayan Great Cycle after the completion of the 12th Baktum - shortly - the end of Mayan calendar. What is the Mayan calendar? According to Armageddon Online, the Maya calendar is a system of complex and highly developed calendars created by the Maya Civilization of pre-Columbian Mesoamerica. Their calendar started in August 11, 3114 BC (gregorian calendar), exactly after Atlantis sank. Basically the Mayan see time not as in linear line, but as a cycle. This means that they thought that time repeated itself, so therefore, if they knew the past they could predict the future. By understanding time, they Maya could gain power over their world. As a cycle, the date mentioned will be the end of their calendar after 5,125 solar year. Read the rest of this entry »

Mencoba Jadi Orisinil?

Dua minggu lalu, di kereta api dalam perjalanan menuju Den Haag, ada seseorang yang duduk di depan saya. Yang membuat saya terkejut adalah baju yang dikenakannya sama persis dengan baju yang saya beli dua minggu sebelumnya.

Minggu lalu saya sempat ragu apakah saya akan membeli sebuah kemeja yang sedang sale di Utrecht karena teman saya Kiki baru saja membelinya 5 menit sebelum saya.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, Bea selalu mengklaim barang yang akan saya beli serupa dengan barang-barang milik Joop teman saya. Artinya Bea ingin mengatakan bahwa gaya saya tidak orisinil.

Well, setelah dipikir-pikir, memangnya kenapa kalau kita menggunakan baju yang sama dengan orang lain? Apakah itu artinya kita selalu mengekor orang dan tidak menjadi orisinil? Apakah kita memang bisa menjadi orisinil dengan cara menggunakan baju yang tidak digunakan orang lain? Apakah mungkin kita menggunakan baju yang spesial untuk kita? Hal itu tidak akan pernah tercapai kalau kita membeli barang-barang tersebut di retail store. Mereka memproduksi produk yang sama lebih dari satu buah. It means, akan selalu ada orang lain yang memakai baju yang sama dengan dirimu! Skenario paling buruk adalah ketika kamu bertemu dengan orang itu ketika kamu juga sedang memakai baju tersebut! Kalau begitu bisakah kita menjadi orisinil?

Then today, I came across to this article on People.com. It turns out that even celebrities were wearing the same clothing in official events. Here are some examples!

Read the rest of this entry »

Types Of Single People

‘             Are you single? How long have you been single? Are you happy about it? What do you think about your ‘being single?’ Those are some of the questions I would like to address to those single people out there. The reason I’m writing this article is because I feel that I’ve been surrounded by a lot of single people and they are dealing it with different attitudes. Thus, I come up with a conclusion, there are different types of people who are being single.

‘             However before I continue, let me describe a bit what I mean by single. Single does not mean lonely. People who are engaged in relationships can still feel lonely. There are three types of loneliness: emotional loneliness, social loneliness, and time and space loneliness. A solo single website explains that Emotional loneliness comes from the absence of a close emotional relationship. Even the most socially active person can suffer from this type of loneliness when his/her social network is comprised of superficial acquaintances. While social loneliness means that you are absent from a social network. You don’t have any social life out there. The time and space loneliness means that you are lonely because of time and distance without necessarily not having friends nor social network, and it could be the result of your work, lack of technology, etc. So, those are different types of loneliness, and not single.

‘            What I mean by single is people who are not in a relationship, either marriage nor dating for some amount of time. Thus, single means not being engaged in a romantic relationship. Now, by this definition, I shall explore types of single people out there.

1. I’m looking but waiting for the right one single

clooney.jpgThis type of single is usually in the marriage oriented thinking, or at least they are tired of fooling around, or for some because of their religious belief of what a relationship is. There’s a big chance that this type of single has been in a number of past relationships and now is ready to move one with a ‘long-term relationship’. They will be looking for the right person but not being hasty about it. They will have people who are interested in them, but they will not be bothered if it doesn’t have a possible future with them. In short, this type of single person is looking for the right person for a long-term relationship.

2. I’m picky single

hilton_1.jpgA person with this type of ‘being picky single’ are usually the good looking ones. He/She is the popular person in wherever he/she is. They are the ones who have the opportunity to choose because they have options. This type would select their future partner based on many criteria, but mostly on looks. They would probably choose to remain single because of their chances of fooling around. They would not officially date someone, but in fact they are seeing a lot of people who are interested in them. They could remain single in a long period and still seeing a lot of people, or they could engage in many short-term relationships. Read the rest of this entry »

Peristiwa 11 September 2001 Dan Akibatnya Terhadap Hubungan Islam Kristen

bush-laden.jpg‘            Pada tanggal 11 September 2001 yang lalu pandangan seluruh dunia terpusat kepada peristiwa yang sangat mengejutkan, dua pesawat berpenumpang yang dibajak menabrak Menara Kembar World Trade Center di New York. Berita selanjutnya mengatakan bahwa satu pesawat lagi menghantam gedung Pentagon (gedung yang selama ini dikenal sebagai pusat pertahanan Amerika Serikat) dan satu lagi jatuh di pedesaan Pennsylvania (yang sebenarnya menuju ke Gedung Putih). Berkat kecanggihan dunia tekhnologi komunikasi sekarang ini kita semua dapat menyaksikan bagaimana pesawat satu lagi menabrak menara kedua WTC. Peristiwa ini secara langsung maupun tidak langsung mempengaruhi dunia. Dunia tidak akan pernah menjadi sama lagi setelah peristiwa tersebut.

‘            Tidak lama setelah itu, nama Osama bin Laden menjadi tekenal. Dia dan jaringan Al-Qaedanya dituduh pemerintah Amerika Serikat sebagai dalang dari semua peristiwa ini. Tanpa bukti yang jelas (baru pada tanggal 13 Desember 2001 pemerintah Amerika Serikat menyebarluaskan bukti mereka atas rekaman video yang memperlihatkan Osama bin Laden berbincang-bincang dalam jamuan makan dengan beberapa pembantunya dan seorang Syeikh Yahudi yang tak dikenal), pemerintah Amerika Serikat dengan lantang mengatakan Osama bin Laden berada di belakang semuanya dan kemudian mengultimatum pemerintah Afganistan yang selama ini melindungi Osama agar menyerahkannya dan pengikut-pengikutnya yang berlindung di sana. Akhirnya pada hari Minggu malam, tanggal 7 Oktober 2001, Amerika Serikat memulai serangannya dengan menjatuhkan bom di atas Afganistan.

‘            Peristiwa ini telah banyak menimbulkan pro dan kontra, bahkan cenderung menjadi sentimen Muslim dan non-Muslim. Sebagian besar warga Muslim menganggap ini sebagai jihad, dan kemudian menganggap Osama bin Laden sebagai seorang pahlawan yang mampu menentang kemapanan Amerika Serikat. Di lain pihak, sentimen terhadap orang Muslim juga meningkat. Komunitas Arab-Amerika mendapat ancaman dari orang-orang yang tidak dikenal. Pandangan curiga dialamatkan kepada mereka (masyarakat Muslim). Ternyata peristiwa 11 September memiliki dampak global terhadap hubungan Islam dan non-Islam, terutama Kristen. Read the rest of this entry »

Study Shows: Short Men And Women Are More Jealous In Relationship

‘            Expatica posts an interesting topic on how short men and women are more jealous in their sexual relationships. This was based on a research done in the Netherlands and Spain. Sadly, the research does not mention how short is ’short’. It also mentions that short, less muscular, and heavier men feel more insecure in their relationship compared to those who are taller, attractive, and socially more popular.

‘            This is frankly a hideous research, I would say. If you have a more attractive and socially popular rival in your love life, you don’t have to be short to feel insecure! Besides, I would argue, if the short guy happens to be more attractive, good looking, and socially popular, I would feel less insecure even if I was taller than him. So, I would say it is not your height that matters. As Kelso said, “It’s all about the look! The world is a beauty contest!” hahahaha

Here is the news link Read the rest of this entry »

Cerita Cinta Laura Dan Maho

‘             Seorang teman perempuan saya, kita sebut Cinta Laura memiliki teman laki-laki tempat dia biasa berbagi perasaan dan pikirannya. Teman laki-lakinya ini, sebutlah namanya Maho, juga sering berbagi perasaannya terhadap Cinta Laura. Cinta Laura dan Maho adalah teman curhat. Cinta Laura sering curhat mengenai pacarnya kepada Maho. Maho sendiri juga sudah punya pacar. Kedua pacar mereka tahu bahwa mereka sering saling curhat dan tidak memiliki masalah terhadap kedekatan mereka.

‘             Suatu ketika Cinta Laura memiliki masalah dengan pacarnya dan mengeluhkan hal ini kepada Maho. Maho yang merasa dekat dengan Cinta Laura membelanya dalam masalah ini. Singkat cerita, Cinta Laura putus dengan pacarnya. Sekarang hubungan mereka menjadi tidak imbang. Cinta Laura berstatus sendiri, sementara Maho masih memiliki pacarnya. Melihat situasi yang berubah, pacar Maho mulai merasa tidak tenang karena Cinta Laura adalah seorang perempuan yang menarik dan mulai merasa insecure akan posisinya sendiri. Karena perasaan curiganya, pacar Maho mulai mempermasalahkan kedekatan pacarnya dengan Cinta Laura. Maho merasa keberatan pacarnya tidak masuk akal karena dirinya dan Cinta Laura sudah berteman sejak dulu. Akhirnya hal ini membuat Maho dan pacarnya sering bertengkar. Curhat Cinta Laura dan Maho masih terus berlangsung dengan intensitas meningkat karena Cinta Laura tidak punya pacar lagi dan Maho mulai bosan dengan pacarnya yang terus menerus mengusik hubungannya dengan Cinta Laura.

‘             Kedekatan yang meningkat membuat Cinta Laura semakin sering memikirkan Maho. Cinta Laura merasa bahwa hanya Maho yang bisa mengerti dirinya tetapi dia merasa tidak nyaman dengan perasaan sukanya terhadap Maho karena Maho masih punya pacar. Cinta Laura juga merasa bahwa Maho memberikan respon yang lebih dari sekedar seorang teman curhat dan mulai merasa berani bertindak lebih. Maho dan Cinta Laura akhirnya melewati batas sekedar teman curhat tanpa sepengetahuan pacar Maho. Maho mulai berpikir untuk memutuskan pacarnya dan menjalin hubungan baru dengan Cinta Laura. Read the rest of this entry »

Can’t Get Over A Relationship?

Breaking UpYou once had a relationship with a special person but things did not work out well. The relationship ended and you both move on. However, there’s just something that you can’t get over with. Something keeps bugging you and you can’t get him/her out of your head. Maybe you are in a new relationship, but there’s something about your ex that troubles you. Do you have the symptoms of couldn’t get over a past relationship?

‘             The first thing that you have to notice is how did it end. What was the reason for the relationship to end and what was your reaction to it. Remember this, the manner you choose in ending your relationship will cling on to your memory like a permanent marker ink on your favorite shirt. You like the shirt, thus you keep wearing them even if you hate the stain. I can list several ways that are not advisable to do in ending a relationship. Professionalcounselling.uk lists some of them:

  1. Text with the message that the relationship is over
  2. Leave a message on an answer machine
  3. Let someone else pass the message on
  4. Cut of all contact that person without first giving an explanation
  5. Become antagonistic in the hope that your partner will dump you
  6. Start an another relationship/affair
  7. Repeatedly give excuses for your unavailability before ending
  8. Avoid your partner if you have not made it clear that it is finished
  9. Avoid conversations with your partner about your relationship
  10. Finish a relationship in a public place
  11. End it just before your partner is due to meet other people
  12. Tell other people of your intention to end it before your partner

‘             If you did any of the ways mentioned above, then there’s a big chance that you wont be able to forget that relationship. This calls for a closure in your past relationship! Read the rest of this entry »

Trend Baru: Tag Foto Di Facebook!

Contoh Foto Rame-rame Buat Facebook!‘            Belakangan ini ada satu trend baru yang sedang berkembang di kalangan facebookers’ (dari Indonesia). Trend tersebut melibatkan acara ngumpul rame-rame, makanan (seadanya), musik (sebisanya), dan sebuah kamera. Terkadang keberadaan sebuah kamera seperti sebuah kebetulan, karena kamera saku mudah dibawa kemana-mana dan hampir semua produk telepon genggam terbaru memiliki fitur kamera sebagai kelengkapan.  Tetapi tidak jarang juga kamera yang dibawa adalah kamera semi-pro yang tidak mungkin  ‘kebetulan sedang dibawa’ (kadang lengkap dengan tripodnya). Artinya kamera jadi salah satu syarat ngumpul-ngumpul. Tanpanya sebuah acara menjadi kurang seru.

‘            Banyak alasan yang disampaikan mengenai keberadaan kamera tersebut: mengabadikan momen penting (i.e. acara ultah, party, dsb), hobby, atau untuk menghasilkan uang. Apapun alasannya, semua hasil momen yang diabadikan tersebut berakhir di tempat yang sama. They all ended up in facebook. Yaps, Facebook! Sayang, friendster belum memiliki aplikasi seru ini!

‘            Kronologi sampainya foto tersebut di facebook adalah sebagai berikut. Acara ngumpul-ngumpul, lalu seseorang akan mengeluarkan kamera dan mulai mengabadikan momen tersebut. Foto tersebut akan diupload ke komputer, lalu dimasukkan ke album foto baru di facebook. Album ini akan diberi nama familiar yang bisa diasosiasikan dengan acara yang baru selesai sehingga semua orang dengan mudah mengenalinya. Notifikasi facebook akan muncul: ada album baru bow! Lalu, orang yang sudah mengantisipasi keberadaan dirinya dalam foto tersebut (alias sadar kalo udah difoto), akan cepat-cepat melihat album tersebut dan mengecek keberadaan fotonya. Begitu dia melihat dirinya sendiri, dia akan mulai men-tag dirinya sendiri (hahahahaha). Seringkali orang ini merasa tidak enak hati mentag dirinya sendiri, dia juga men-tag orang lain. Jadi kesannya tidak egois dan tidak nora’ hahaha.

‘                Popularitas seseorang kemudian dihitung dari berapa banyak foto dirinya ada di facebook. Tentunya foto yang dimaksud adalah foto yang di-add (upload) oleh orang lain. Kalau dia mengupload fotonya sendiri artinya dia ingin dipuji orang (karena sering jalan2, suka foto close-up, atau punya kamera baru) hahaha.  Nah, kepopuleran ini menjadi sebuah marka bahwa dirinya adalah anak gaul yang selalu hang out di banyak party yang dihadiri orang lain. Ini juga berarti dia dikenal banyak orang! Read the rest of this entry »

Virtual Quarrel

virtual-reality-helmut.jpg‘            Blog booming has been amazing lately. There are a lot of people who have their own blog. Some are really good writers and some just write it as if it is their diary. Whether they are aware of what blog means or not, their private life has been shared to general public. Some tried to cover up their experience by using other names and places. Some tried to write it in rhetorical phrases. Some would just be blunt about it. Sometimes by reading their blog, we feel like we know them already from their stories.

‘            There are some reasons why people do public diary. One of the reasons is because they expect others to read it, especially those who had encounters with them and those who they want to share their feelings with. These people have the idea that they can deliver their private messages through public space. Sometimes they use eloquent sentences that that only the person who they address their writing to can understand what they mean. Well, the other reason is that they just love to write (like my sister! Good for you sis!). However, the first reason of why people write a blog would be the basis for my following argument. Read the rest of this entry »

Becanda Sih Becanda, Tapi…?

A: “Uh, bau apa nih? Lo ga pake parfum ya?” (sambil mencium lengan bajunya dan juga baju si B)

B: “Ah, pake ah! Enak aja lo!”

A: “Makanya, lo harus ganti parfumnya! Baunya ga enak!” (sambil ketawa kenceng)

Kalian pasti pikir B sudah mati langkah! Tapi cerita berjalan terus!

B: (ga mau kalah) “Ah, mungkin itu bau karena mulut lo terlalu dekat dengan hidung lo!”

Kalau Michael Kelso akan bilang, “Buuuuuurn!”

‘         Yaps, becanda dan ceng-cengan adalah hal yang normal di kalangan anak muda. Bagi anak-anak tongkrongan, tiada hari dilalui tanpa ngecenging teman. Kadang-kadang di dalam satu kelompok selalu ada anak yang menjadi bahan celaan. Saling mencela dapat membuat hari-hari lebih ceria, dan bisa membuat kita tertawa juga. Bahkan, sebuah kelompok tidak akan dianggap lengkap tanpa kegiatan saling mencela.

‘         Entah kenapa kegiatan saling mencela ini adalah sebuah kegiatan populer yang sudah dianggap jamak di mana-mana. Menghina teman dengan hinaan yang paling tepat buat mereka, dan membuat orang lain memihak dan menganggap celaan kita tersebut cocok dengan situasi orang tersebut, dianggap sesuatu yang lucu. Ada beberapa acara televisi yang dibuat khusus untuk memfasilitasi orang saling menghina seperti Yo Mama yang didekasikan khusus untuk menghina kaum ibu. Ini adalah kabar baik buat kamu yang punya karakter sinis dan suka menghina orang lain hahaha!

‘        Dalam sebuah kelompok tongkrongan, selalu ada yang menjadi tokoh utama tukang cela dan ada yang menjadi obyek celaan. Sialnya, yang biasanya dicela ini adalah tokoh tetap. Sekali ada orang yang malu karena dicela, itu adalah tanda bahwa dia akan terus menerus dicela. Biasanya semua anggota grup akan punya cadangan celaan terhadapnya, kapan saja, di mana saja, dalam kegiatan apapun. Orang ini pun akan sulit untuk menghantam balik karena dia harus menghadapi semua orang dalam kelompoknya. Kalau sudah begini, dia cuma bisa pasrah atau menyiapkan celaan yang sangat baik yang bisa mengalihkan perhatian kelompok dari dirinya, dengan menjadikan orang lain sebagai korban berikutnya.

‘         Bicara tentang celaan, saya jadi ingat kembali masa-masa SMA dulu di mana kepandaian anda mencela orang lain adalah cara memperoleh kepopuleran atau cara menjatuhkan orang. Kelas saya di SMA 21 Jakarta Timur dulu adalah kelas yang paling ‘ganas dalam mencela.’ Sebagai kelas terakhir di jurusan IPS, kami adalah satu-satunya kelas yang terletak di sebelah ruang guru karena kenakalan kami. Saya ingat teman saya di kelas, yang terkenal paling percaya diri, akhirnya meneteskan air mata (literally) karena kejamnya celaan yang dialamatkan ke dia. Saya sendiri tidak pernah menyangka kalau dia (teman saya itu) bisa menangis, tetapi kejamnya celaan mungkin akhirnya menghancurkan harga dirinya (saya tidak akan menceritakan kejadian traumatis itu di sini hahaha). Kalau begitu, sampai di mana sebenarnya batasan kita dalam ceng-cengan terhadap teman? Read the rest of this entry »

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai And Philosophy Of Love

What is it?

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai “Pyaar dosti he, Love is friendship.” This is Rahul Khanna’s philosophy on love. He thinks that if one can’t be his best friend then he can’t be in love with her. He says, “Without friendship there’s no love.”

Those were some lines taken from the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (KKHH). I was enchanted by this movie since the first time I saw it. Since then, I’ve seen the movie for like 20 times, and I just saw it again tonight. The movie was a best hit in 1998 in India and grabbed 8 awards in Filmfare Festival, some of which are best movie, best actor, and best actress. It made Rs. 500,000,000 (US$ 12,600,000) in India alone.

What is so interesting about this movie? I think the movie has a deep philosophical exploration on what love is all about. I was deeply moved by the movie. At first I thought I was just being crazy about those silly Bollywood movies who have typical characteristics. First, they always say their important words in english, like: “I love you”, “go away”, “i dont think so”, “will you marry me”, “you’re beautiful”, etc. Second, in a single movie, you will get views of other cities in Europe, such as London, Geneva, Brussel, etc. Third, no matter how remote they went, they always have other singers and dancers in matching clothes with them singing out of nowhere. Oh, and one more thing, there will always trees in a Bollywood movie, followed by either crying or singing.

However, KKHH is different. Its a movie of love, wide range of emotions, music, dancing, family, and life. It even has a good example of how God is the same for Hindus and Moslem. Little Anjali was praying in Hindu and Moslem way. And God answers her prayer. Isn’t it interesting?

Read the rest of this entry »

Faith And Ethnicity

Ethnicity and religion are recognized as an immensely powerful basis of collective identity. However, religion is often – if not say always – excluded from social science on collective identity, also vice versa, church ignored sociology as well. As powerful basis of identity, religion and ethnicity are intertwined. These two factors have been influencing one another, therefore it is important to find what is the primary unifying element the two of them: is it religion or ethnicity.

Three models can be used to explain ethnicity and its relation with religion. First, primordialism and universalism: where ethnicity was a priori category, a primordial feature that identified and defined the social group. Religion was part of the identity. It is deep within people and it established their ethnic affiliation and identity no matter what the external realities may be. Religion is a stable, conservative, and traditional social force that keeps ethnic group members true to the ordained order of being. Second, circumstantialism/instrumentalism and particularism: where ethnicity is a variable that depends upon particular circumstances and interactions. People define ethnic identity themselves in response to unique interests, goals, and agendas. Ethnic identity may change as well when interests change. Ethnic groups is not a fixed things, they are formed without shape and content. It is a dynamic process, not a stable given. Religion is not a cause of identity. It is an aspect of the social system. The last one tries to combine them dialectically, which is constructivism: where in the constructivist approach there are two facets to expressions of ethnicity: 1. the primordial: ethnic identity is expressed in terms of cultural features which are said to be ancient and perceived to be a priori charactheristics by which its members define the group in distinction to other groups. 2. circumstantial: an ethnic identity is expressed in varying intensity through the interactions of the group and its members with neighboring groups as individuals are mobilized in response to issues which focus group in opposition. Read the rest of this entry »