I Might Lend A Hand
Enchanted Ivy
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Disclaimer: BTVS is property of Joss Whedon, the WB and many others who aren't me.
Summary: I got annoyed at Buffy and Spike. Someone else gets annoyed too.

*****

It's that bloody Slayer's fault, you know. She always has to complain and pick fight with me. I was always good. Okay, maybe GOOD isn't the best fitting word there...more like tolerate. You see, I wouldn't do anything to purposely get myself chained to the wall, even with Dru. I'd rather think of fun deaths for certain people, seeing how I can't do them myself.

Ugh. It's all her fault.

*****

It's all his fault. Don't let him tell you otherwise. We wouldn't be here if he could control his temper or that mouth. And where is here you ask? 'Here' is chained to the wall, locked in the room, and worst of all, stuck here with HIM. Where no one can hear me yell. And scream. And curse. Yes, all those things mainly directed at Spike. Hey! Don't get on my case. He's doing the same thing. In fact, that's what got us here in the first place.

Arrg! I hate him.

*****

No, I don't think this is too extreme. Do you know why? Every time these two get together, I get a headache. I warned them. Didn't you hear me warn them? I suppose I should see if they're all right. Big surprise, I walk in during their blamefest. Fortunely they stop but, of course, start screaming at me.

"What's the big idea?"

"Giles, if I spend another minute..."

"Be quiet! You two are going to solve your problems if it's the last thing you do."

"But..."

"No! No telly or partrolling until you two realize what you really feel or actually kill each other but I know you never will." Giles couldn't believe he was really approving this but he knew it wasn't hate between them. It's violent, strong and raw, but it's anything but true hate.

"Giles..."

"Can you honestly say you don't see it? Feel it? You argue for fun and that's fine for you but I have to watch the two of you doing this daily. I think it's time someone did something about it. Now, I am going to leave again so if you want to leave, put all this stubbornness aside and DEAL!"

Buffy and Spike bowed their heads in shame as the former Watcher left. Catching each other's eyes for a brief moment, they decided to start talking.

"I violently dislike you."

"Mutual."

******

A.N: Giles' line in 'Something Blue' sort of inspired this. "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand." I just got annoyed at how Spike and Buffy clearly have all this sexual tension but no one does anything.

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