Halloween started off normally. I went to work, came home and ate dinner. Then I got dressed up in my King of the Seven Seas pirate outfit all set to greet the trick-or-treaters. The kids came to the door on and off during the night. After I didn't hear the doorbell for about an hour, I figured I was done for the night and got ready for bed. I was in my boxers just about to jump into bed when the doorbell rang again. Sighing, I went downstairs, not even bothering to put on any more clothes.

I opened the door to find a single kid of five or six dressed in a Pikachu outfit. I grabbed a handful of candy and threw it into his bag.

He looked in the bag then looked up at me. "I want more," he said.

It's not often you hear a request like that, but since I didn't have many other kids that night, I grabbed another handful and thew it into his bag.

"More," he stated. "Give me more."

"Beat it, kid," I said.

I went to close the door and he put his foot in the way. He forced his way into the house and closed the door behind him. "Give me MORE!" he screamed.

"Gimme a break, kid. Go home and play with Bulbzod or some other Pokemon geek. I'm going to bed."

That's when everything went to hell. He thrust out his hand and zapped me with an electric shock so strong every hair on my body stood on end (and I've got a lot of body hair). It took a moment to get over the shock, but as soon as I did, I could see he was ready to zap me again. So, being the brave soul I am, I screamed like a little kid and ran to my room. Unfortunately my room wasn't the best choice. The only things in my room are my dirty clothes, my bed, my collection of Rosie O'Donnell records and my Dreamcast. I was ready to just give up when an idea struck me. I grabbed all my Dreamcast games and started flipping through them as fast as I could, throwing cases and instruction booklets everywhere.

It only took him a few seconds to blast through the door, but by that time I was ready. "There will be no candy for you, Pikachu!" I shouted, and I flung the Zombie Revenge disk at him. It struck him square in the chest, staggering the little rat. But I didn't stop with one disk. I had a stack of games that had caused me pain because they were so bad. I flung the games as fast as I could. Sword of the Berserk: Gut's Rage, Spawn: In The Demon's Hand, Psychic Force 2012, Deep Fighter, Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour. Each one caused him to slow a bit more. But he continued to come. And soon I was out of games to throw. Then I remembered the latest bad game to curse my Dreamcast -- The Ring: Terror's Realm. I threw myself across the room and opened the cover of my Dreamcast as the little Pikachu demon advanced on me. At the last instant I pulled the game free and flung it at him. The disk stuck square in the center of his forehead. He froze for an instant, then turned to dust before my very eyes.

As you can see, I survived to tell the tale. I don't even know what he was or why he wanted the candy so bad. All I know is that I will be left with some pretty terrible scars. I know I'll never be able to look at a Pikachu again without flinching. I know that Halloween will always hold a little bit of extra terror for me. And, worst of all, I know that I will always have to say something good about some of the worst videogames ever created. Those will be scars I will carry around with me forever.

For a Halloween party, Mike dressed as Reverse Mike, which entailed a suit, tie, shoes and a clean-shaven face. It was very, very scary.

- Sega Radar