Ted Casablanca has created a roster of those in Hollywood who have raised the most eyebrows during the last century. "THE PORTIA DE ROSSI AWARDS" were "in honor of the gal with the most conspicuous eyebrow arches in show business today (other than Whoopi Goldberg, who simply doesn't have any)." Whether it's "urinating on a coworker or a career", he tells us "how the best did it with often aromatic style."
Of the top 15 on his list, the only same-sex scandals to raise Ted's brows were Michael Jackson's "pubescent acquaintances galore" and James Dean's dalliances "with anything that liked him." In these cases, it was the age and quantity rather than the gender that rated the rumour.
Yet the tabloids always have thrown the klieg lights on anyone suspected of being gay in Hollywood.
Is it so common that people no longer notice, or do queers have more reason to be discreet? Are the gay deceivers more skilled?
In days gone past, an Equerry (E-queery, personal attendant to royalty) was "privy" to all the "dirt" because they were ladies and gentlemen "of the chamber" (and chamber pot). They dressed their royal responsibility and guarded their intimate moments.
In North America today, the royal status is given to celebrities. They now have bodyguards, personal trainers and agents to serve them. But an Equerry was a respected, even coveted title. The exalted one learned to ignore their presence because they were known and trusted. The invisibility was conferred upon them.
In urban life today however, we have all been conditioned to ignore others around us. We "mind our own business". There is just so much going on, if we were to notice everything, it would be like trying to take a drink from a fire hose.
As Ted points out, the first people we learn to ignore are those wearing uniforms. Uniforms remove personality.
Perhaps we queers are better at keeping our secrets because we know all too well the power of those uniforms. (Calm down boys!). They are the modern cloaks of invisibility. Many of us wear one at some time, be it the waiting staff tie and towel, the business suit or the coveralls. We remember that there is a person beneath the costume.
And like most invisible people, we were on the lookout for signals that we were not alone, so we became very observant. We still crave cultural idols and role models. So yes, we love our gossip. Tidbits can fly like lightning, but traditionally we have kept it within our own circles.
For most of the last century, you could be imprisoned, committed to a mental institution, lose your job, your children, your future. We guarded each other's secrets because we had to.
QT did two other stories that touch on the power that gossip has, especially in Hollywood. In "Open Secret", David Ehrenstein spoke of the efforts that studios took to protect Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Montgomery Clift and other stars when the public speculated about their homosexuality. Actors like William Haines or Patsy Kelly who were openly gay had little backing and were soon forgotten. Last week, Wakefield Poole told more about how the stars managed to have active sex lives, but to remain discreet. As a young man, he was approached by a third party at a bathhouse, and agreed to be "the package" delivered to an unknown gentleman waiting in a hotel. That gentleman turned out to be Rock Hudson.
Oscar Wilde was exposed by "rent boys" who unsuccessfully tried to blackmail him, but then gave information to the Marquis of Queensbury. Wilde was imprisoned. People in the public eye have always been vulnerable to blackmail. But there has been a strong code of honour among queers.
When blackmail happened, most often the source was heterosexual, an observer. Poole kept Rock's secret, until long past the star's death. Even when he met him later in another context, he did not mention it.
But today is another era. Being openly gay and a gossip columnist is not a contradiction in terms. Ted observes the code of silence by protecting his sources rather than the celebrities. But he also doesn't use his power to "out" people, and has disdain for those who do. So if you dig dish, then head for Ted and The Awful Truth.
Keltie Creed - Web Content Producer
Adriana Salvia - Co-Producer
(to keep myself thinking young)
When I asked Ted Casablanca about where he gets his sources of information, he was very clear with me that it was from people who are dressed up in all kinds of uniforms, who become reliable sources. It is the people who you never think of who are spies.
It made sense to me hearing that, but you never think it when you are walking down the street or having dinner, that the man with the brief case or somebody serving you that glass of wine might actually be deliberately listening in to everything that you are saying and doing, in case you might be somebody who has information.
So it made me start to think about decorum, and what it must be like for stars. Obviously they don't consider it enough. His article, which comes out once a week, is no less than 8 or 9 pages long, so there are a lot of people out there watching and listening.
We started to also talk about media spin, and he gave Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres as an example. He says that you can often rely on the tabloids to be accurate, because they get their information from pretty much the same kinds of sources as he does. But when information about stars comes from the publicist, that's media spin, and you should never be fooled by it.
Look at Anne and Ellen. They had this break up, and you don't really know where to attribute the blame. You hear "Anne must have decided that she wants to have a relationship with a man, so the relationship is over." Ted said, in reality, in that relationship, it was Ellen who wanted to call it quits. But the spin doesn't make it look that way. So sometimes, you do need to look deeper.
The fact that he hasn't had more confrontation with celebrities I also found interesting. He made mention of the fact that he had a run-in with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He also had a different kind of run-in with Particia Arquette, who is married to Nicolas Cage. They were having problems with their marriage a few months back. Casablanca saw her at a function and said to her, "So are you thinking of giving your marriage another try?" Apparently she gave him this look that made him think that she was going to jump him. And then she said very calmly, "Well, if I WERE considering giving my marriage another try, I wouldn't exactly tell YOU." But he did not consider that a wise move, because he could then go on about her in his column. And he has on more than a few occasions. Think teeth.
So I think that his expectations are that even if he were to come up to you and throw nothing but dirt in your face, that you are going to respond very, very pleasantly. He comes out and says it. He has the power to write bad things about you.
I had asked him what do you actually get out of doing this kind of work? One would think that bad mouthing other people wouldn't necessarily be gratifying work over time. But what he said to me was, "I love the idea of giving someone a chuckle when they come in to work in morning. They read what I have written, and have a good laugh over it. If someone gets that chuckle, then that is all the fuel that I need. And I know from the feedback I get, that for the most part, people really enjoy it." Except for those sending you death threats, huh Ted?
