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QT Quote
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"The world changes in direct proportion to the number of people willing to be honest about their lives."
--Armistead Maupin
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Related Links
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PFLAG Canada
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
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Related Stories
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Bussed Off!
Erin is a 15- year old lesbian who found herself on the bus one day being berated by a loud homophobe. As he yelled, she shut down - she had "no comment." But instead of slinking into her seat forever, she approached a media coach for lessons in how to defend herself without getting defensive. QT drops in on the coaching session.
School's Out
The British Columbia Teachers Federation voted to support students in forming Queer/Straight Alliance groups. And the backlash became a national story. QT investigates.
When in Rome...
Despite the Vatican's best efforts to thwart the event, hundreds of thousands of supporters flocked to Rome for the very successful World Pride 2000. QT takes a look at the event, the controversy surrounding it, and the politics that almost shut it down.
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Deck the Hallways
Small town student Megan Beauchamp not only came out at a Catholic high school; she made the chaplain her very first confidant! QT learns some tips on walking the hallways with divine dignity.
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Coming Out of Sarnia—I mean, the Closet
By Meghan Beauchamp
When my friends at GLASS asked me to write about my experiences coming out in Sarnia, I thought it would be no problem. I thought I’d just start typing and, before I knew it, a paper would write itself. WRONG!!! I now know, as I sit at the computer, I may actually have to think about this (no comments on that, people). Mine is a positive story, which happens over the course of four years. So, I’ll just have to start at the beginning.
I moved to Sarnia in August 1996. I was fifteen, bitter and I hated my new home. Eventually, I made some friends and started to relax. August of 1997, I realized what was different about me (I’d always hated girlie things and a friend used to call me his “little Bi-girl”—ever had a stupid day? I was having a stupid-life). Yeah, so I developed a crush on this girl I know and my entire stupid-life flashed before me. This is called a CDE, or a “Closet Door Experience.” It was at this point when my friend, Jay, asked me if I like girls. “Umm, yeah, I guess I do.” After sixteen years, all the crushes on girls, (this is where the stupid comes in) I figured it out. The first year stops here.
The next year was spent coming out. I told many my friends (the ones who’d be okay). The others would have to wait. I started going to a small group called Bluewater Rainbow. It’s still running, so if you’re under 25 and struggling with your sexuality, or you want to meet more of our community, come on out (no pun intended). I, inadvertently, came out to my mother while sobbing about previously mentioned Girl. Mum knew. She says she knew when I was in kindergarten and wanted to be He-Man for Halloween. So Mum doesn’t mind. She wishes I wasn’t gay because straight life’s often easier, but she says I’m strong enough to handle it. My mum’s side of the family was, apparently, waiting for the closet door to come swingin’ open. They say they knew all along. Okay, half the family down, other half to go. Here ends my second year.
In grade twelve at St. Patrick’s High School,during the third year, I got a bit more daring. I put a sticker in my locker that says, “I’m so gay.” No one got it. I became more involved with Bluewater Rainbow. I also gave Dad the best Christmas present ever(tee hee). Potentially long story, short: Daddy decided he didn’t want anything to do with his queer kid. Don’t cry. This only lasted a week when he told my Grandmother (thanks, Dad) and she ragged him out. “She’s your daughter and my grand-daughter; she’s an adult so she’s going to do what she wants.” Yea, Gramma! Grandmas are the best. At this point, with the exception of a few friends, everybody knew. But I would take care of them soon enough. I figured if people knew me, liked me and THEN found out that I’m gay, they’d have to be more open. It’s not as though telling them makes me into a COMPLETELY different person right before their eyes. I never tried to hide it, but now I was dying to scream it from a rooftop.
I went to Ottawa in July and attended my first Pride. It was amazing. When I came home, I was ready to do some shouting. I wasn’t crazy; I just felt empowered. I went to Sarnia’s first Pride (in August, see a pattern?) and I knew that this, the fourth year, would be the big one. So, let’s go there. Shall we?
Here we are. The fourth year (OAC) was my activist year. I’d decided at Sarnia Pride that my first order of business at school was to tell my religion teacher. No, I wasn’t trying to give her a heart attack. I had her for religion in grade twelve and we talked, in class, about homosexuality (it was in the course outline!). Imagine me squirming in my chair because I didn’t know what to say. I was furious. It’s my life and she’s teaching me? But she’s one of the finest people I know. When I told her, at the beginning of OAC, she was pleased I trusted her so much. I just wanted to let her know that I bit my lip in class. Next, I came out in conversation to the school chaplain. I seem to pick the religion people. Hmm. So, life goes on.
Chris Schnurr, an active member of the queer community here, was speaking at a suicide prevention conference in April. I helped him with his presentation on “Homosexuality and Suicide.” I didn’t tell them a sob story about what happens when suicidal teens discover they’re gay. I told them what I’ve told you. I’ve had very few problems. I wish all people could say the same. The point I brought to those at the conference was this: My family and friends have been accepting and supportive; I have not been suicidal over my sexuality. It’s a basic cause and effect situation. The conference was a success. According to the response, my message made perfect sense. And it does. Being out makes homosexuality more visible. Being visible as normal people breeds acceptance. Acceptance brings down suicide rates.
I’ve decided that gayness is no big deal—at least, it shouldn’t be. So instead of shouting, I only tell people who ask. To the rest, I don’t hide it, but I don’t say anything. Being gay’s only part of me, not all of me. One woman at the conference told me that it was interesting to hear someone speak so positively given the topics. “You’re so confident and content.” She thinks my purpose in life may be to show the good that comes from acceptance. I’m inclined to agree. Happy Pride, everyone!
There ya go! That's my story. Thank you to all of you at QueerTelevision for this opportunity.
As Meghan is an avid reader, she also sent along a list of books she recommends. We have included links to some of them in the left column.
Any and all Rita Mae Brown books
Two Teenagers In Twenty (also, One Teenager in Ten)
Growing Up Gay/ Growing Up Lesbian
Am I Blue (a personal fave)
Prayers For Bobby
Now That You Know (this one's more for your parents)
Different Daughters (Mothers talking about their lesbian daughters)
Most PFLAG and gay groups will be able to direct you to these. Also, you can go online and check out these books and others at Chapters.ca or on gay websites. Sometimes you may even find these books at your local library. I found four in my high school library!!
Meghan's Wisdom
I thought I'd drop a few ideas to anyone wishing my advice.
- First, don't come out until YOU FEEL it's the RIGHT TIME. Things said at the wrong time can lead to more problems.
- Second, build a support base BEFORE you come out. I didn't have to. I was fortunate. Others aren't so lucky. Find your local PFLAG or Gay Support Groups. If all else fails, 1 800 268 9688 (YOUTH without the final H) is the Lesbian Gay Bi Youth Line. They are specifically set up to help you.
- Third, try to remain calm. Try to understand that the people to whom you are coming out (parents, children, friends) may not expect it, may not understand it, may be shocked. They may not know how to react or may react strongly. Try to sympathize with them and get them to see that you are still the same person you were before you came out. Eventually, they may come to understand and support you.
- Fourth, know that you are still a normal, worthy person. Being gay doesn't change the value of your life. Don't let anyone tell you you're less than a person or perverted because of your sexuality. You have all the same rights and emotions as everyone else. You are somebody.
Good luck and remember, you are not alone.
Scott Blodgett - Segment Producer
 It has often been said that if you want to see a true microcosm of our society, then spend some time in a high school. It’s a place where the social order is rigidly determined and God forbid anyone who tries to tamper with that order. Oh, yes, we see the tampering going on in endless sitcoms and films about high school, but what about when it happens in real life. When an ordinary kid rises above the rest to set him or herself apart from the school population that can be so merciless in its social structure, it is truly an achievement.
That is precisely the reason we profiled Meghan Beauchamp. Yes, thousands of gay kids have come out in high schools, but there were two main issues which made Meghan’s story so interesting to us. She came out in a Catholic high school, in a system which is not tolerant of homosexuality and she also came out in a way which earned her respect and admiration from both faculty and students.
What the school community respected most about Meghan was her ability to not only come out but also teach others about homosexuality. While teaching documents refer to homosexuality as an “objective disorder”, Meghan showed others that she is far from being a disorder. It was the spirit of her personality that made her win the friends and the respect that she well deserved. The school Chaplain, Tim Charette, told us Meghan didn’t run through the halls screaming, "I’m gay, I’m gay." Instead she would quietly challenged people about their beliefs and helped answer questions for those who wanted to know more.
We have done stories on Gay/Straight Alliance groups in high schools. But therein lies the difference. As a group, a collective can find can be safety in numbers. Meghan did this alone and after coming out she recommended resource books for the school library allowing both teachers and students to learn more.
In Meghan’s own words, "Being a teenager is a horrible experience". Being a gay teenager is even worse. When it comes to high schools, students come and go. Teachers come and go. Principals come and go. For this one brief shining moment at this high school in Sarnia, Meghan Beauchamp was lucky enough to have been a part of a school dynamic that accepted her and helped her grow. Will that happen again in five or ten years with a new group of students and a new school administration? It’s tough to say. But after being at the school and witnessing the interaction between Meghan and the school officials, I can only hope that the spirit of Meghan’s openness and integrity will also serve to help other gay and lesbian students who may follow her there.
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- CHUM Television’s bold leadership took on the mantle of probing into the Q world in 1998. We were the first in the world to do this sort of show — along with two specials.
But for a number of reasons, QT- QueerTelevision is now on indefinite hiatus. Please enjoy encore presentations of our first two seasons, now airing on Sextv The Channel and Pridevision.
QTonline.com remains available and full of valuable and entertaining information that continues to be relevant to the queer world.
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