From Chapter 8: The Future of Gender and Transgenderism

Until the latter part of this decade, transsexual activism focused on gaining social acceptance for post-reassignment transsexuals. The goal of this activism, which focused on medical and mental-health professionals and the judicial system rather than laypeople, was to allow transsexuals to receive sex reassignment as quickly and as possible, and live in their gender preference as if they had been assigned that sex at birth. Most recently, transgendered activists have been questioning the entire system of binary and polarized gender. Some leaders of the gender community have called for transsexuals to direct their political efforts toward eliminating the notions of "men" and "women," rather than working to be perceived by nontranssexuals as a member of either gender. This has coincided with an increase in the numbers of people who label themselves as third-gender, two-spirit, both genders, neither gender, or intersexed, and insist on their right to live without or outside of the gender categories that our society has attempted to make compulsory and universal.

One of the most visible and articulate proponents of this view is Kate Bornstein. In her book Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us, Bornstein labels her own gender as follows: "I know I'm not a man—about that much I'm very clear, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably not a woma either, at least not according to a lot of people's rules on this sort of thing. The trouble is, we're living in a world that insists we be one or the other—a world that doesn't bother to tell us exactly what one or the other is."

Despite her statement that "after thirty-seven years of trying to be male and over eight years of trying to be female, I've come to the conclusion that neither is really worth all the trouble," she acknowledges that she tries to pass in public as female, if only to protect herself from danger. "I still make an effort to walk down the street and pass on a very private level. I do this because I don't want to get beaten up. I do this because all my life it's been something I've wanted to do—to live as a woman— and by walking through the world looking like one, I have that last handhold on the illusion, the fantasy, the dream of it all. Passing is seductive—peple don't look at you like you're some kind of freak."

With great courage, clarity, and humor, Bornstein rejects the traditional narrative of the "typical" transsexual experience—that of being trapped in the wrong body. She says frankly, "I've no idea what 'a woman' feels like. I never did feel like a girl or a woman; rather, it was my unshakable conviction that I was not a boy or a man. It was the absence of feeling, rather than its presence, that convinced me to change my gender. Later on in the book, she says, "Of all the options I've got, I like being a girl the best." Given this statement and the fact that she does not suggest an alternative, gender-neutral pronoun in her book, female pronouns will be used to refer to her here.

Bornstein calls the idea that "we are trapped in the wrong body" a myth, and counters, "I'll bet that's more likely an unfortunate metaphor and conveniently conforms to cultural expectations, rather than an honest reflection of our transgendered feelings." She also rejects the idea that transsexuals must, of necessity, hate their unaltered bodies, including the genitals they were born with: "I never hated my penis; I hated that it made me a man—in my own eyes, and in the eyes of others. For my comfort, I needed a vagina—I was convinced that the only way I could live out what I thought to be my true gender was to have genital surgery to construct a vagina from my penis. Fortunately, I don't regret having done this."

This may be one of the first public acknowledgements by a transsexual that the outcome one can expect from genital surgery is often less than satisfactory. Prior to this decade, the overwhelming majority of the results were not cosmetically pleasing or functional for urination or sexual activity. This comment by Bornstein is the result of the gender community reaching and exceeding a "critical mass," which seems necessary before sexual minorities can view themselves as a minority, share histories and accumulate a common agenda of grievances, and being to demand accountability from individuals and institutions outside of their own subculture.

This excerpt is from pages 245-6 of Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism, by Pat Califia, published by Cleis Press Inc, San Francisco, 1997.

Adriana Salvia -- Segment Producer (To keep myself thinking young)

I didn't actually know any of the history of Pat Califia. Part of the beauty of working on this show is that I learn so much as I go along. I had no idea that Pat Califia was this bastion of lesbian, feminist writing. I just saw the cover of The Village Voice, saw Pat looking very masculine, involved with another man, having had a baby. I thought, 'There's something kind of bizarre here.' Then I read the article and saw that there was a whole story of Pat and Matt on their journey of gender fluidity. And then I started to learn all these things about Pat Califia as the lesbian feminist. A lesbian feminist who's now on the journey of becoming a man through hormone therapy. I knew there was a discussion to be had. I thought there would be a lot of lesbians who would be none to happy with this one.

Add to that the fact that Pat and his partner were transgendered AND having a baby. In the interview, I was told that the transgendered didn't really accept them. At that point I wondered what community would accept them. Where do you find a community that will house you, that will share empathy, or anything else? It's a good thing they live in San Francisco and that they even found a doctor who would be willing to help them with that birth. They're terrified the baby will be taken away from them.

As for baby Blake, it's hard for me to say, "That baby will be fucked up because they're women who are becoming men." Kids are fucked up when they have a father and a mother. What I do think is that peer pressure really is a big deal. Now in this case, it's societal pressures and circumstances that will make the kid feel "not normal." Every kid wants to be ordinary. For as much as parents constantly tell you it's not good to be ordinary, you have to be extraordinary, kids just want to be ordinary when it comes to other kids. Blake's circumstances are not ordinary.

He'll probably grow up and be average and heterosexual and perfectly fine. But where will Blake cross his lines as far as what is acceptable in a relationship or what makes a family? Pat and Matt have to be very cognizant of that. But, at the same time, Blake's really, really in good hands. They're so loving towards him. And, Pat and Matt are both extremely smart individuals. So I like to think that he'll get that perspective. But they'll have to continue living in a place like San Francisco.

Pat said that in every community he's been a part of he's seen the limitations. Pat and Matt are willing to push the boundaries. But, I think, that boundaries are useful to help us define ourselves. Sometimes, we know who we are by figuring out who we aren't. Kids need that. As some parents tell you, kids need limits.