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May You Be Covered in Duct Tape (MLP)

By kpaul
Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 08:17:59 AM EST

Duct tape (some call it Duck Tape) has long been a staple for MacGyver. Some say duct tape is the source of the force for George Lucas. Others use duct tape to fight crime. To me, though, the sticky substance is starting to freak me out a little. I mean, really.

 

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Duct tape came onto the scene innocently enough in the beginning, coming from a long line of adhesive tapes. It was used by G.I.'s in WWII, referred to as 100 MPH Tape. The U.S. Army still finds uses for the grey tape. Heck, even the Iraqi's are using duct tape in their military escapades. It's also good for non-combatants, they say.

However, I must ask if there is currently a conspiracy going on under our very noses? Silently and subconsciously sending us signals of it in popular movies, have we been conditioned to purchase duct tape at alarming rates? Will duct tape slowly consume the life of people everywhere?

Perhaps it's all much ado about nothing. Maybe in reality, duct tape isn't good for ducts after all.

Note: I feel compelled to give John Milne credit for the title of this piece, as the phrase appeared in a story by him in the 1999 edition of Math News.

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Poll
Duct tape
o will always be duck tape to me 4%
o is not as essential as a proper towel when traveling. 34%
o saved my marriage. 4%
o ruined my marriage. 2%
o has come in handy a lot in my life. 34%
o is causing me to come unglued. 2%
o is a scourge upon mankind. 3%
o doesn't concern me one way or the other. 13%

Votes: 151
Results | Other Polls

Related Links
o Duck Tape
o MacGyver
o the force
o fight crime
o sticky substance
o freak me out
o really
o the scene
o adhesive tapes
o 100 MPH Tape
o finds uses
o Iraqi's are using
o good for non-combatants
o conspiracy
o popular movies
o purchase duct tape
o consume the life
o much ado about nothing
o duct tape isn't good for ducts
o Math News
o More on Humour
o Also by kpaul

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May You Be Covered in Duct Tape | 108 comments (105 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
Get your duck taped. (none / 0) (#108)
by NFW on Fri Mar 21st, 2003 at 11:53:38 PM EST
http://www.natew.com/

Then what?

--

"I watch Al-Jazeera on satellite but turn
the sound off and listen to NPR. I have no
idea what the fuck is happening."
- Gordon Jackson


Duct tape at the Oscars... (none / 0) (#107)
by kpaul on Thu Mar 20th, 2003 at 08:55:35 PM EST
http://www.mallasch.com/

WaPo:
Will Smith pulled out of Sunday's ceremony and other stars including Dustin Hoffman said they will wear peace sign pins, doves and even duct tape to protest the war in Iraq.



:: Journalism :: Poetry :: Movies ::
Unmentioned use of duc{k,t} tape (4.00 / 1) (#106)
by dcturner on Wed Mar 19th, 2003 at 08:56:40 PM EST
(dcturner2000@spamisbad.yahoo.co.uk)

Nobody's mentioned that sticking bits of the magic stuff to the bottom of a snare drum will, if you're lucky, turn a really crappy ringy sound to a much nicer punchy one. The favoured way seems to be to take a strip about 1cm wide and maybe 10cm long, stick the middle 2cm together and stick the rest of it to the skin. Variations involve more folds and weird shapes. Experiment!

Once I had the pleasure of miking up a superb-sounding drum kit and when derigging I noticed the bottom was covered with many of these constructions. So it's not just me.


Remove the opinion on spam to reply.
Cure For Warts (4.00 / 2) (#99)
by n8f8 on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 06:14:49 PM EST
(tlowing@nospam.lowing.org) http://www.Lowing.org

Don't forget that Duct Tape may be used to treat warts.

Sig: (This will get posted after your comments)
Seal Ducts? (none / 0) (#98)
by g33kd00d on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 06:06:59 PM EST
(spamhater@nospam.com)

I heard that duct tape is the worst possible thing you can use to seal ducts.
clickety clickety rm -rf / --BOFH
WPI (none / 0) (#94)
by hans on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 02:56:54 PM EST
http://www.forcynth.net

I think duct tape is the official mascot of my school, Worcester Polytechnic Institute.  But what else do you expect from a school of 2000 geeky males?

Aside -- Does anyone repair ducts with it anymore?
Duct tape and ribs: 'I'm ready for 'em' (4.00 / 1) (#90)
by kpaul on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 02:13:15 PM EST
http://www.mallasch.com/

Duct tape and ribs: 'I'm ready for 'em':
And she's not taking any chances: Although the town may be miles from any major city, she went out and bought duct tape and plastic wrap during the recent heightened alert. "I'm ready for 'em," she says. A Goodwater native, Ms. Hayes has been working at the barbecue pit for the past nine years - "since the day it opened." Her customers have been talking about the war lately, in part because a local reserve unit shipped out. But that hasn't affected business, she says - and most people are staunchly supportive. "We're hillbillies," she jokes. "We'll fight anybody."

:: Journalism :: Poetry :: Movies ::
Not only does it bind the universe together... (4.00 / 1) (#87)
by RainyRat on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 12:58:46 PM EST
(not_really_here@all.com)

...but you can use it to make a wallet, then have it signed by the stars!


Eagles may soar, but rats seldom get sucked into jet engines.
I watch too much TV (none / 0) (#85)
by Cro Magnon on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 11:01:57 AM EST

I always think of duct tape as being used to bind & gag people. Yes, I realize it has other uses too.
I don't have a sig
Ah Duct Tape... (4.00 / 1) (#84)
by JahToasted on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 10:39:31 AM EST
(bulmer at cwjamaica dot com)

I had a roommate that built a showerhead from a salt shaker top and some duct tape. Gave a nice, even flow too.

On more than one occasion I've built bongs from a water bottle, pen casings, bubble gum, tinfoil, and of course plenty of duct tape.
Regarding the last link in the summary... (4.00 / 2) (#79)
by pla on Mon Mar 17th, 2003 at 02:29:47 AM EST
(myhandle@stone.removethis.tmok.com) http://users.tmok.com/~pla/index.shtml

Do people remember what we use "oxygen" for?

I know, I know... Odorless, tasteless, invisible. But leave Mr. Snuffums the hamster in an empty peanut-butter jar... er... I mean "Hamster Safe Room"... for too long, and you'll get a quick reminder of what that strange gas making up 21% of our atmosphere does for us.

Wrapping his entire house. Good. Perhaps when the twit suffocates to death in a week or so, we'll get some publicity about why one should NOT sleep in an airtight room.

Chemical weapons need a high enough concentration, no wind, and a small range of temperatures to work at peak efficiently. Biological weapons need the same, plus sunlight rapidly kills them, plus even in perfect conditions a person can simply not contract the disease. Oxygen deprivation, on the other hand, WILL kill people, very effectively, no save-vs-disease-or-poisons.
Rumsfeld and duct tape (5.00 / 1) (#71)
by kpaul on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 08:15:13 PM EST
http://www.mallasch.com/

Another mention:
"Diplomacy is slipping away and Rumsfeld needs some duct tape put over his mouth," The New York Times quoted an anonymous friend of Mr Powell's as saying.



:: Journalism :: Poetry :: Movies ::
I taped some guy to a wall once (4.00 / 1) (#69)
by MichaelCrawford on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 05:25:10 PM EST
(crawford@goingware.com) http://www.goingware.com/

When I was living at Porter College at UC Santa Cruz, I taped one of my hallmates to the wall about a foot and a half up in the air.

What I did was have him stand on a chair, then I taped him securely to the wall, then we pulled the chair out.

He stayed up for about five minutes and could have stayed up longer, but he asked to be taken down because it was starting to hurt.

A nice touch was that one of my other hallmates who was an art major made a little arrangement of the leftover tape on the wall and typed up a note explaining that it was a memorial to when I taped up Willis, and that I was a conceptual artist who "has been compared to Cristo".


--
It would be very nice of you to refer me to someone who could use my software consulting services.
Still called 100 MPH tape (4.00 / 1) (#65)
by kymermosst on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 03:41:09 PM EST

I was in the Army for 8 years, and we still called it that.

Though, it's usually green or red, not silver, though that might have been a 10th Mountain Division preference.

Some uses:  Taping ripped canvas until you can get it to the repair shop.

Taping windows of vehicles that are to be moved by helicopter, so that shards of glass don't go all over the place if they break.

Taping plastic overlays onto map boards.

Practical jokes.  (Our unit was full of practical jokes!)

It's been a while... can't really think of any more uses, other than the "taping stuff together" generic uses.
Two guys duct taped to a building! (5.00 / 1) (#63)
by zztype on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 03:25:19 PM EST
http://www.alohatown.com

Here's a newspaper article, "Stuck on duct," about crazy uses for duct tape from 1997. [Honolulu Star-Bulletin] It includes a photo of two guys duct taped to a building (as an April Fool's stunt in 1996). Crazy uses for duct tape have been around for a while.
100 mph tape (5.00 / 2) (#55)
by talisein on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 02:21:01 PM EST
http://talisein.livejournal.com

Actually, according to the Army Lore that I've been exposed to, it was not named "100 mph tape" until Vietnam. According to legend, a good sized number of our troops were engaged in a pitched battle and taking some heavy casualties. The Medevac helicopters were flying in and out, and one of them had their roter blades cracked. Because they needed every bird they could get, they called out a mechanic to see if he could get it flyable again. The mechanic came out to the bird, took out the duct tape and wrapped the crack up. To the pilot he said, "It'll hold for now, but don't go faster than 100 mph."

While this was of course related to me probably 8th hand, it seems more local than WW II, because what went 100 mph in WWII?
-- Talisein =)
ALUMINIUM duct tape (4.66 / 3) (#49)
by bafungu on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 11:58:57 AM EST

Accept no substitute, even though it costs over ten times more than regular duct tape.

This stuff is basically thick aluminium foil, backed with glue and wax paper that you peel off before use, because otherwise you'd end up with a big aluminium puck instead of a usable roll.

Whereas regular duct tape eventually dries up, shrivels, and falls off leaving a crispy yellow residue, aluminium duct tape molds itself onto the target, and doesn't change one iota for years. I personally have ducts that I sealed with aluminium duct tape ten years ago that look like they were done yesterday. I even patched a cracked engine block once with this tape.

Its only weakness is that it has fairly low tensile strength, but when that is not required the stuff can't be beat.

duct tapes cure warts (5.00 / 1) (#47)
by circletimessquare on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 11:33:12 AM EST

duct tape cures warts, no really
C:\>tracert life.liberty.pursuit-of-happiness
Gaffe Tape [Proof by Vehement Assertion] (5.00 / 3) (#39)
by mcc on Sun Mar 16th, 2003 at 03:37:55 AM EST
(mcc@charon.sjs.org) http://charon.sjs.org/~mcc

I am an elitist theatre techie person, and i have an important message for you all, on behalf of all elitist theatre techie people:

Duct tape is inferior. Gaffe Tape is the answer.

That is all.
(Unless you are an actor-type person, in which case you should go stand by the stairs immediately. So that we can protect you.)

_______
Not getting enough weird junk in the mail? Want some free mp3s? We can help.
On Language (4.00 / 2) (#28)
by srichman on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 10:19:09 PM EST

William Safire wrote about the etymology of duck/duct tape recently.
duct tape suit, overcoat, dress (5.00 / 3) (#26)
by cce on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 09:53:43 PM EST
(chris-AT-erway-DOT-org) http://chris.erway.org

walter made a whole set of duct tape outfits and even made a dress for his date and took her to the "prom" ... check it out, very funny.
Poll: You missed the best use of all (4.50 / 2) (#21)
by Edgy Loner on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 08:40:02 PM EST

A chair, a pig, Super Sounds of the 70s and a straight razor. Ah, the memories.

This is not my beautiful house.
This is not my beautiful knife.
duct tape origami (4.00 / 1) (#17)
by martingale on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 08:31:21 PM EST

I thought you were just making up a conspiracy theory, and wanted to ask about duct tape origami, but lo and behold, there really is such a thing! So it's everywhere, even in ancient Japanese traditions ;-). Anybody tried something like that?
If you can't fix it with duct tape, (5.00 / 1) (#14)
by metalfan on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 08:25:58 PM EST

you can't fix it. Similarly, If something that should move doesn't, all you need is WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, get the duct tape. I believe both of these gems came from Red Green. Can anyone confirm?

"'Oh dear,' said God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic."
Appropriately enough... (4.00 / 1) (#11)
by graal on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 07:57:21 PM EST
(rot13:tenny@abqr.gb) http://packet.node.to/index2.html

...it works wonders on ductwork. I've got some patches on parts of my HVAC system that are years old.

The other secret weapon is RPV (RTV?) adhesive. I fixed a bad muffler weld with it, and a friend managed to fashion a patch for a busted timing chain cover with a piece of scrap metal and RPV. It's still on there.

For household chores, always keep plenty of caulk, wood filler, and drywall compound on hand.


--
For Thou hast commanded, and so it is, that every
inordinate affection should be its own punishment.
 -- St. Augustine (Confessions, i)
Best duct tape quote I ever read (4.66 / 3) (#9)
by illustro1a4 on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 07:46:37 PM EST

To paraphrase: "Nothing says 'unprofessional job' as wrinkles in duct tape" - someone unknown on the other site.
--
"Suddenly, I realized, everything had gone terribly wrong." - Hunter S. Thompson

I just used duct tape... (4.00 / 1) (#8)
by Work on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 07:36:40 PM EST
http://themachine.2y.net

Solved the issue of a rattling hard drive screw inside my computer case.

Earlier i used it to attach the front panel of my dishwasher to the rest of it since a screw bracket snapped.


-Agents, an amusing game of espionage and backstabbing. Web-based, no download or plugin required!-
Duct Tape (4.50 / 4) (#6)
by thelizman on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:49:54 PM EST
(thelizman1221ATyahooDOTcom)

Duct Tape (also known by it's MPH variants, 90 MPH Tape and 100 MPH tape) is the greatest thing since sliced bread. In fact, I can slice my own damn bread, so duct tape is the greatest thing in history. I have used it to repair leaky pipes in my house. I have used it to patch up blown radiator hoses in cars. I have used it to increase my SPL numbers when competing in dB Drag (sealing air leaks). I once used it to incapacitate a drug dealer who wouldn't stop selling weed to a friend (even after I made it clear that she had a problem with weed), and subsequently turn the dealer over to the cops (with a little duct tape bow). I have held wounds shut with it, creating fiberglass molds with it, and improved the cooling inside my computer with it.

And if ever you can't fix something with duct tape, there's JB Weld and 550 parachute cord.


--
It's not about the oil.
90% of all nuclear maintenance I've ever seen... (5.00 / 3) (#5)
by AtADeadRun on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:45:50 PM EST
(atadeadNOrun@yahooSPAM.com)

was done with a Leatherman, a flashlight, and a roll of duct tape. You wouldn't believe how often steam pipe lagging gets held on with duct tape (or rather, steam tape, which is basically duct tape that doesn't leave residue). And you thought nuclear reactors were high-tech.

-------
Pain heals. Glory is forever. Keep running.

"Apologising for Tom Green is like saying "No offense meant" to someone while continuing to stab them in the liver." --Tatarigami
If it's good enough for NASA... (4.33 / 3) (#4)
by BadDoggie on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:30:50 PM EST
(baddoggie.at.clara.co.uk) http://www.tx7.com/fries/

Anything that can bring three guys in a tin can with more than a third of a million miles to get back home alive is good enough for me.

Of course, I was a roadie about a decade ago, and there wasn't anything you can name that we didn't do with the stuff. Yes, we did that too.

woof.

"The line between genius and stupidity is very fine indeed, but you're so far away from the line that it doesn't matter." -- FluffyGrue

Duct tape: The handyman's secret weapon (4.33 / 3) (#3)
by swr on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:08:49 PM EST

Duct tape, known in Canada as the handyman's secret weapon.

I think Canadians are with me on this one (4.00 / 3) (#2)
by the77x42 on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:08:26 PM EST
(d@ve.smells)

America needs a healthy does of Duct Tape Forever (Red Green).


I hate sigs. - Me
Gaffa tape... (4.00 / 2) (#1)
by gordonjcp on Sat Mar 15th, 2003 at 06:00:31 PM EST
(gNoOrSdPoAnM@gjcp.net) http://www.gjcp.net

... lasted for 6,000 miles (or about two months) wrapped around a split radiator hose on my old Volvo. I forgot it was there, until I went to pull the radiator when I was fixing the clutch. So there you go.


Warning: Contains Aluminium. Do not eat.
May You Be Covered in Duct Tape | 108 comments (105 topical, 3 editorial, 0 hidden)
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