Things to Know about Anal Sex
By Jack Morin
From the April/May 2001 issue.
Anal eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women-straight, gay and bisexual-are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. In 1949, Kinsey stated that the anal area had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,00 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted having tried anal intercourse.
Yet the taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.
1. Anal intercourse is the least frequently practiced form of anal sex.
- There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening with a finger while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.
- Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger-their own or a lover's-insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, favor this form of penetration.
- Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.
- The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentrations of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can also be a source of great pleasure.
- When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Any pleasure afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort.
- Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.
- Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxed, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the degree of receptivity.
- Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason for lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.
- Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually signs of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and then letting go is another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs.
- For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure this erogenous zone is capable of generating.
- If you insert a finger about one-half inch into your anus and press your finger against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system-just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want.
- The internal sphincter is quite different. The muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response.
- The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here.
- Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower, each day and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance, simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.
- The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.
- Some people enjoy the feeling of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.
- In men, the prostate-which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, toward the front of the body-can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.
- Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly-and delightfully-perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.
