Around
the States in Eighty Days
Being an irregular and erratic account by the
Greedy Bastard himself as he sets out to traverse America on
a comedy tour.
Day
Twenty Five. The Complete and Utter Cleese.
Friday,
October 24, 2003 - Red Bank New Jersey to Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Steaming
down the highway, Bob Dylan's Love and Theft cranked
up high on the stereo. Leaving New Jersey. Land of Springsteen.
Bye Bye Bruce. I once had dinner with you, after the Golden
Globes in LA. Good disguise tonight. The fans never noticed.
You were the woman in the twin set in the fourth row
weren't you? Thought so.
We had a small bunch of Republicans in tonight at Red Bank,
who booed loudly and good humouredly when I made a Bush gag.
Later they came up to the signing table and asked me to sign
a program "To George W. Bush with love" which I
did and then added "Get a new job…" They were
laughing and very jolly. We played the Count Basie Theater.
And won.
I am gobsmacked [1]
today by the news that John Cleese is coming to Chicago
to be photographed with me for Vanity Fair. This is
totally unexpected and utterly surprising. If I were a betting
man I would have given you 100/8 against. In fact I can hardly
believe it, but that is what they tell me. John is coming
from Miami to Chicago simply for this photo, and then he has
to go on to California. I think Graydon Carter must have something
on him…
It is to celebrate 25 years of The Life of Brian which
John has always been very proud of, and rightly so because
there is so much of his brilliant writing in it. I met John
forty years ago (dear God) at a Pembroke Smoking Concert.
It was my first ever public appearance and I was performing
a sketch he'd written and this very thin, very lanky man came
up after the show and was very encouraging. He's always been
encouraging. I remember when we were on an expedition up The
Nile, an amazing gift he and Alyce-Faye gave to forty friends,
and we roasted him one night and when it was my turn to come
up and speak he muttered softly under his breath, "Be
funny."
He himself was stand out funny at Cambridge. You couldn't
look at anyone else on stage. His control, his timing, his
deadpan made him easily the funniest man of his generation.
He went off to the West End in a Revue called Cambridge
Circus which eventually wound up on Broadway and I got
to take over some of his bits at The Edinburgh Festival, where
I wound up meeting Terry Jones and Michael Palin. When John
came back to England I wrote some bits for a radio show he
was in called I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and then
graduated to TV where I contributed material to a show he
was in called The Frost Report. He became a star overnight
in this live TV show, appearing in hilarious sketches he wrote
with Graham Chapman. Terry Jones and Michael Palin also wrote
for this show, as did the wonderfully eccentric and as yet
undiscovered Marty Feldman. I then graduated to tiny roles
in John's next show which debuted Marty and Graham Chapman
(with Tim Brooke-Taylor) in a very silly and eccentric show
called At Last It's the 1948 Show which was the real
father of Monty Python. (The mother was Do Not Adjust Your
Set, a highly successful award winning kids show featuring
me, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, Neil Innes, The Bonzo Dog
Band and Terry Gilliam.) Marty Feldman went off to star in
a series for the BBC and John was offered his own TV show
by the BBC which for some reason he was reluctant to accept.
Instead he approached Michael to hook up with him. Michael
said he was with Terry Jones, and me, oh and Terry Gilliam
too. We had all been offered our own grown-up show - an ambitious
45 minute slot on ITV, the commercial network - the only drawback
being we had to wait almost a year for a studio to be free.
This was the deciding factor. We decided to slip in Monty
Python first! So, almost accidentally the two halves of
Python slid together, on the one hand John Cleese and Graham
Chapman, and on the other the Do Not Adjust Your Set
crowd. We would work together on and off from 1969 until 1983,
slipping into movies, and records and books and stage tours
as well as the original TV series. John would also come along
and guest star in my movie Splitting Heirs and re-unite
with us all at The Aspen Comedy Festival in 1998. And now
it's forty years later and we are to have our photos took
for Vanity Fair. It's a funny old life if you don't
weaken. Next Monday is John's birthday. He will be 64.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?
Forty years ago. And me still in my thirties. Oy vey. Happy
Birthday John.
John Du Prez tells me Michael is on the front page of the
English Times. One of his interviewees was kidnapped. I kid
you not. He was apparently interviewing a Recruiting Officer
for the Ghurkas in Nepal. They were lured away to meet someone,
only to disappear. I'll refer you to the BBC news webpage
- http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi.html
- which I recommend to you anyway as a good news source and
much better than all that AOL News crap, which is essentially
recycled hype and gossip about Britney and new movies and
products, masquerading as news. [Opinionated bastard: Ed.]
John says the man is safe, and thank God so is Michael. It
makes the ever present danger of forgetting a line on stage
not so important eh?
For
the story below see http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/3209924.stm
UK
officer safe in Nepal
A
British army officer and a team of six Nepalese nationals
who went missing after encountering Maoist rebels have returned
to safety.
A
search for the missing men had been launched after they
were taken away by suspected Maoists on Sunday night.
The
group was part of a mission recruiting Gurkhas in the remote
Baglung region, west of the capital, Kathmandu.
The
incident was witnessed by a BBC film crew working with television
star Michael Palin, who said the incident made them all
feel very uncomfortable.
The
seven missing men returned to the safety of the town of
Pokhara on Tuesday. The British officer, Lieutenant-Colonel
Adrian Griffith, was later flown by helicopter to Kathamandu
for debriefing.
Earlier
in the day, the UK embassy in Kathmandu said contact had
been re-established with the team, all of whom were safe
and well.
No
filming
Palin's
crew was in the region filming a documentary on the Himalayas.
Crew
members were with the British army officer when the Maoists
arrived.
A
BBC spokesman said: "They were told to stop filming,
which they did immediately... they didn't perceive themselves
to be in any danger at the time."
The
Maoist rebels asked them to go with them to meet a rebel
commander several hours away.
Mr
Palin told BBC News 24: "We'd been assured that nothing
would happen and that even if the Maoists did approach us
that we were highly unlikely to be harmed, but they are
around and operating.
"It
was getting on into the evening and there was a certain
feeling that there may be complications and when somebody
is removed and taken into the forest it's a rather ominous
feeling.
"I
don't think any of us were very comfortable that night and
were very glad to leave the next morning.
"But
they have disrupted the recruitment process before, this
wasn't the first instance and I'm sure it won't be the last."
The
Nepalese authorities described the incident as a kidnapping.
Baglung
District administrator Prem Narayan Sharma said the Maoists
had released their captives after rescuers reached the area.
The
BBC's Daniel Lak in Kathmandu said the rebels had not kidnapped
or harmed foreigners in more than seven years of civil war,
although money has been taken from trekking groups in remote
areas.
He
said the British were hoping the Maoists may have just wanted
to meet the Gurkha recruiters to discuss their concerns
about the process.
The
rebels are opposed to the recruitment of Gurkhas by Britain
and in recent weeks have been involved in several violent
attacks aimed at disrupting the process.
Rebel
attacks
Bomb
attacks, ambushes and kidnappings have brought violence
in Nepal to a peak recently, after the rebels pulled out
of a seven-month old ceasefire in late August.
More
than 8,000 people have died since Maoist guerrillas began
an armed struggle to rid Nepal of its monarchy in 1996.
Britain
provides non-lethal military aid and training to the Nepalese
army as well as much of Nepal's foreign assistance.
The
British Army has been recruiting Nepalese men to fight in
its Gurkha brigade for nearly 200 years.
Competition
is fierce to join the brigade, which has a reputation for
fierce bravery, endurance and loyalty.
Footnotes:
[1]
Verb, transitive. To Gobsmack. To startle or be amazed.
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