Youtube

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Jail for FAIL!
Jail for FAIL!

YouTube is a shitty site where every illiterate fucktard on the internet hangs out. It is also a crappy video site, which was preceeded by Break.com in all manners of fugly girls posing, noobs, fugly drag queens posing, clips from gay animes, old memes, and goth/emo videos. Practically everything in the "most viewed" and "top rated" sections is softcore porn or men measuring their manboobs (HOT!) and not forget underage girls shaking their asses on camera, oh yeah! . Youtube is pure drama, the entire user base is full emotional fuckers who will whine and bitch at the slightest provocation. So much as a drawn picture of another user with the words poopy head will instantly cause drama.


Many people like to upload HILARIOUS videos of them and their friends doing something absolutely crazy like doing a silly dance or putting on a stupid hat for everyone elso on the internet to enjoy.

Fact: YouTube was named by Time Magazine to be the best invention of 2006. Coming in second was a formula to prevent cervical cancer. NO, SRSLY.

Last Thursday, Google bought out YouTube and renamed it GooTube beta. Still better than Google Video. YouTube makes it possible to harness THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION, and create THE PROMISED LAND.

Contents

[edit] Copyright Bullshit

Turkey is now YouTube Frightened Gay Boyz!!!
Turkey is now YouTube Frightened Gay Boyz!!!

100 years ago, Youtube was a haven for pirates, who made it totally awesome for us by outweighing the camwhore shit with almost every anime, TV show and porno movie you could think of. But then, one day, some faggot from the NBC whined about everyone spreading a clip from the Daily Show all over the internets because they liked to keep their filthy hands on it, therefore forcing Youtube to take them off.

As a result, Youtube became Nazis and decided to wipe off every piece of copyrighted material they could find, including those taken with a shitty webcam. Although few of these remain, millions of AMVs remain untouched. Youtube also love to pwn any account that has hosted these video clips, just for the lulz, but the so-called offenders will come back anyway and post their shit again.

Typical Youtube User.
Typical Youtube User.

Youtube is implementing an automatic pwning device to take out copyright material. It can also detect other profanities such as severe violence, gore, nudity, and trevor rieger.

[edit] Other Uses

the YouTubes is serious business!
the YouTubes is serious business!
typical youtube users.
typical youtube users.

Beyond finding unfunny crap to watch and interesting news clips of internet dramaz to watch, Youtube can also be used as a tool for queers to shove their faggotry down the throats of our great nation. Searching for "gay kiss" turns up more videos than you can shake a cock at. The ultimate pwnage for gheys is when a gay kiss video is taken down, since it gives them the opportunity to flare up and bitch about homophobia on the internets.

If you find yourself on a gay blog or Myspace and don't see any imbedded gay kiss videos, you may rightfully claim 2 free internets from the site's owner. Don't hold out though; you're much more likely to find a straight furry or a diabetic who doesn't remind you of a rhinoceros.

Youtube as explained by Sen. Ted Stevens

Youtube is a very great tube, on it you can see people who have made moving pictures, and put their moving picture through a bunch of gigawatts, and gilgabites, until it is on Youtube's tubes. These tubes can be viewed by other chaps and can be put on other tubes, so whether you're watching a moving picture about flying machines or the new telegraph, you can always receive jollys at Youtube, and have a gay ol' time.

[edit] Subscriber Security Hole

Even at Flash Youtube Fails
Even at Flash Youtube Fails

Last Thursday (yes, this last Thursday), Anonymous discovered that whoever coded YouTube sucks and left a security hole on their website like Fox News for people to exploit. It involves a YouTube user's Subscribers count on their profile page and how it can be exploited.

Here's how it works:

  • 1.) Subscribe to target user
  • 2.) Unsubscribe
  • 3.) Repeat
  • 4.) ???
  • 5.) Profit

The first time a user subscribes, the subscribers count increments by 1, but does NOT increment any time you do it again. However, unsubscribing will decrement their count by 1. Ebaumsworld eventually found note of this and decided to attack Lonelygirl15's page and bring the count from tens of thousands of subscribers down to 0. It has also been done to her longface, jew-nosed widow Danielbeast and other various YouTubers. A script has also been developed to exploit this hole with about as much manpower as an indian call center... but nobody can seem to locate it.

[edit] Every Comment Ever Made

FIND HAWT GIRLS AT CAMAZON.COM! SEXY GIRLS AT CAMZHOME.COM! --9/11 TRUTH OMGZ BUSH DID IT!--

[edit] Dramatic YouTube Users

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF ONLINE VIDEO COMMUNICATION

A srsly proper Community News Channel, and NOT a way for Damien Oztrich to behave like a Sexual Predator (see Paperlilies, Kimberleigh, and katiesopinion on his "Community Channel"......???) YES, I AM SURE!

[edit] Internet Panhandlers

[edit] Pathetic Youtubers

[1]Gtano1fanmighty is this youtuber and he is A Loser And A D$%£Head

[edit] Psychopathic YouTube Users

a billion dollar hissyfit
a billion dollar hissyfit

[edit] Psychopathic YouTube Users that touch on Greatness

[edit] YouTubelerity Egostatic-maniacs

Youtube= fail
Youtube= fail

[edit] YouTube Bimbos

[edit] Memes born from YouTube

Youtube is known by emos for its hurtful messages
Youtube is known by emos for its hurtful messages

[edit] YouTube Trolls


And when they find the spammers users WILL fucking warn you about it through the anoying process of bulletins. Users also have a tendency to post Shit_nobody_cares_about and feel the need to tell they are offline and online.

Also good for saying "IMA LEVING YOUTUBE FOREVAR ;-;"

[edit] Militant Fundamentalist Believers (God Vs Science)

[edit] Militant Fundamentalist Christians

[edit] Militant Fundamentalist Atheists

[edit] Xtube

Xtube is a copycat of Youtube, but instead of regular shitty webcam videos, this has regular shitty webcam porno videos.

[edit] Pornotube

If you don't like jacking off to emo videos and camwhores then Pornotube is for you! Just make sure to click on Straight Content before browsing, else you come upon an absolutely gay video of three guys jacking off on each other. Due to pornotube's sorting algorithm you will probably be overwhelmed with cocks in the "straight" section as well. This is not a bug, you are a closet homosexual and they know.

[edit] Yuvutu

Yet another 3rd rate porno knockoff.

[edit] Beast Tube

Do you even need to fucking ask?

[edit] You Tub

Yes, you. Loose some goddamn weight, you disgusting slug-like creature.

[edit] Stage 6

Stage 6 was created by Divx sometime last Thursday. This site is like youtube only the video quality isn't shit and you can upload videos that are up to 2GB in size. Of course due to the lack of content all this the site is nothing more than a few high quality movie trailers and crappy AMVs. You can also download them which is useful for bringing in the anchor and becoming a Pirate

[edit] Chufter

Chufter will one day replace youtube for all your internets blogging needs. God Bless those Gay Niggers!

[edit] Typical YouTube Clips

[edit] Proof That YouTube/rs Suck @ Satire

Image:YOUTUBE IS SARCASTIC.JPG

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY YOUTUBE.


[edit] YourTube Punishment

YouTube punishment is usually a form of ban from the service, either by deleting the guilty party's account or suspending it for a time. However, it remains unclear how long the suspension lasts since YouTube doesn't know how use email unless it deals with idle DMCA threat. In extreme cases, the youtuber's IP address may be blocked from the server to prevent them from simply creating another account, sometimes indefinitely. These actions are usually invoked for such offenses as violating YouTube's Terms of Service, trolling JackDanyells, jerking off on cam while smoking a Cuban cigar, disrespect of Mia (and/or Miaarose), or promoting illegal acts.

[edit] How to score some LuLZ

If your in for some lulz, you've come to the right site. Usually go to any video which has a lot of views (suggestions would be a religious jewtubeer or some shit band videos) and just say something completely against the tide. then a bunch of 13 year old boys will type furiouslly about how the internets is serious buisness. They'll probably send you a PM with some long bullshit about how you are wrong. Here is a generic template for you to use:

This is a total rip-off of ______________ (some old band or movie)

[edit] Handy troll tool

The Dynacat is a handy tool to back up your subscriptions. Just copy pasta them from your one account in the dynacat, log in with your other sock account, hit subscribe and it will subscribe the whole list automatically, so you will never lose your trolling friends.

[edit] Further Drama

  • The frequent battle cry YouTube posties fret over is its growing ties to corporate media. Paul Robinett, told the New York Post "It is starting to appear as though the regular guy doesn't have a chance on YouTube anymore. The majority of the content on YouTube belongs to people like me, yet they seem to be cutting deals with everyone that owns content but us." "I'm starting to feel some twinges of betrayal," said Ben Going (aka Boh3M3). "They seem to be more money-oriented than I imagined."

Image:Youtubeasone.jpg

  • The above image also shows that the majority of Youtube members are in fact Sand Niggers

[edit] Related Articles

[edit] External Links

[edit] Quotes

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A Message to ED

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Google Search an stuff

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Youtube
is part of a series on Web 2.0
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Web 2.0 Sites
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People of Web 2.0
Tom Anderson | Steve Chen | Brad Fitzpatrick | Max Goldberg | Iain Hall | Chad Hurley | Kevin Rose | Kathy Sierra | Jimmy Wales | You | Mark Zuckerberg


Youtube
is part of a series on
YouTube

People

Aeverine Nieves AJcomix Akaichou Alexandercarneiro Andy Milonakis Angry Nintendo Nerd AngryLittleGiri Applemilk1988 Argent009 (The Mole) * Audreynoland Ayumihamilton B Walmer Barmer479 Beebee890 BigBadFurgyTheFox Bigboxbear * Billoon45 Blunty3000 * Boh3m3 Bravesgirl5 * / Bgirl5 Brian Sapient Brookers Bubbatime99 CallumCartel CapnOAwesome CaptainAtheist Chad Chadwardenn ChangeDaChannel Cheryl Shuman Chekovsgun Chris Crocker ChristianGuyTv Christianhillbilly CircaRigel Circle circle dot dot Corinna Fugate Crossmack / IanCrossland Culexor / NeoCulexor CuntFuckBitch Damien Estreich DandCVideos Danielspengies Darkzero63 Davedays DaxFlame Dear Sister Deathtofanboys Derpaviangott DiGiTiLsOuL DimensionTornFree Dog264 Dogstar201 Donnie Davies Doommaster1994 Dr4g0nK1d Dramedybabe Drewtoothpaste DynaCatlovesme EIEIEIEIEI! Einsidler El Steveo electrojed ElTigreXFlame Emmalina Emogirl21 Fattoothlessoveralls * Filthywhore FireFly515 Fitlads Frankbertrand GangstaElijah Geriatric1927 Ginntonic GoddessMillenia GodofGta3 Goronchev Gothbabe0504 Gothreaper1 * Greatexpectations320 GreenTeaGirlie Greg Solomon Hannah Capps * HardCaseOwnsYou Hatedwerewolf HellionExciter I Like Turtles Ianwagj Imclosetfree Irish282 / HelpTruth ItalianGuyFromNY JKL JezuzFreek777 Jipsi Kinnear Joy Nash Kimberleigh Lazydork Leeroy Jenkins Remix Lisanova Littlekuriboh LoganSperman2 / Charles Dagley LonelyGirl15 LordRickRadio Maddestofthemall MattSharp86 Miaarose Mikeskehan Momabigbug2 * Moneyhouse Morbeck Msjackie69 MysteryGuitarMan Nalts Nornna MRirian Oldnataliedee OneLessGod Paperlilies Paranoidave Passionatekisses1976 PCBIZNUSS PeppermintPatti / ItalianStallionette Pfeekin Piggeryash Pigslop * PixelBeeProductions * Preacher717 RUSKOxSTAR Rapturealert RavageMyReality Reh Dogg Renetto Reymon14 Robinmcveigh RoccosHouse Rodney Harris Ryea Bowser Saturnine Films Sega Kid Seth Dub Shirley Q. Liquor Silentwulf Skuee Smell yo dick Smpfilms SnowVhite SokiTwopaw * Sparkling wiggles Specialboy88 Steve Subjectiveways Suttsteve Sxephil Tara Gilesbie / Heartdreamer TaraRayne Tay Zonday Techa Thatkidparker The Patriot Dames The Whitest Kids U' Know TheAmazingAtheist TheGameBoys TheHill88 TheQuestionMarkMan Thedramatube * Themaskedanalyst Therealagerbon Theredskull Thewinekone Thewoog * Timmysmommy01 Tom Serson Tonystockert Trevor Rieger Tunak Uniformsmoker UpDownMostly VenomFangX VideoCompiler VioletKitty411 Vipor231 WHATTHEBUCKSHOW Williamsledd WindDancerVision2 Wookie Fragger Wtvcrew1 Wylinoutbitch XxPrincessPunkxx YTwatchdog Younger Woolwich Boyz YourTubeNews Ytask ZenArcher ZenkaiKenny0 Zzz33333

YouTube Departments/Drama
Anti-Flagger Association of Youtube Atheist Scum United Blasphemy Challenge Gay kiss Furry War Haters Honorz The Kewl Kids My Immortal Rational Response Squad TL;DW Unforgivable War is Art YouTube YouTube Avatars Civil War Youtube Nobodies Youtube Poop YouTube Staff Street Team YouTube Super Fags View Fraud Vigilantes Yahweh Clan Young Tubers United

Key: * means user has deleted their YouTube Videos

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