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Cat
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The gay faggot's child, a cat is a common household pet and wannabe furry that people like to take pictures of and post in communities. Jameth has two cats that he very much loves to photograph. Cat owners are primarily people who can't catch actual furries.
Cats are the only thing the /b/astards at 4chan have any love for in their godless lives. As shown here. It has been well documented that a cat is the only thing a /b/tard won't rape, except for one particularly lonely one. Cats also make very common fursuits. It's no surprise the word "cat" rhymes with "twat".
You can also pretend to people you know on LiveJournal that your cat has been set on fire and ask them to donate money to your Paypal to pay the vet's bill, even when this isn't true. This is a good idea because:
- it raises money
- it raises laughs (see also lulz)
- it creates Internet drama
- as long as you claim later it's all a social experiment then it's okay, right?
NB: There are a variety of options for raising money on LiveJournal by saying your pussy is on fire.
Unlike large dogs, cats are useless for sex. A domestic cat's cunt is too small for even the smallest Asian person's penis. And a large cat will attack you like with Siegfried and Roy's tiger. Interestingly, talking about sex with cats can be stimulating for some cat lovers and, at the same time, quite distasteful to some other cat lovers.
There are rumors that cats are conspiring to take over the world. This is a bit sus. Their main plan of attack is showing people, other animals and inanimate objects their anus. By doing this, they wierd out most normal people, animals and inanimate objects (except furries), causing them to turn away so they are free to further their own nefarious goals, the greatest of which is eating unwatched meals of food. Their plan of attack may also include tripping people up by winding between their legs, irreversible damage to furniture, hanging out on stairs, peeing on carpets and controlling people's minds. In September of 2006, an obese orange cat exploited a vulnerability in LiveJournal's video subsystem to redirect people attempting to load LiveJournal eating disorder communities to pictures of the Donut Girl. It then proceeded to attempt to invite people to lulzcon.
Cats have been historically worshiped by ancient Sand Nigger cultures. It is from this that the seventh planet Caturn was named, from the Egyptian and later Greek god of Time and felines, and today a day in our weekly calander is named for this deity, Caturday. Longcat is the High Priest of Caturn, Administrator of Caturday Ceremonies, and Commander of the Cattic Armada.
Cats are known to be a good alternative.
Contents |
[edit] Cat Videos
If you watch it enough, it will make your eyes bleed.
How horrible
[edit] See also
- Caturday
- doyouatecat
- longcat
- Shortcat
- Tinkebell
- city clitter
- limecat
- Zippocat
- CATS
- Kitler
- Speedycat
- A cat is fine too
- Cat fight
- NEDM
- InvisibleCat
- Battle cats
- Tulip (Glaucoma Cat)
- Fishing Cat
[edit] Moar Cats
- Many cats, oh yes.
- Catster: a place for scratching furniture.
- The Infinite Cat Project.
- The Sleeping Cat Olympics
- Kittenwar!
- Stuff + Cats = Awesome
- Panty Cat: "I don't understand why a cat sniffing panties is funny... it just is."
- Cruelty involving cats will offend even borderline trolls. OSCAR: NEVAR FORGET
- "help me or kitty gets it"
- LolCats from the interwebs!!1!!1
- Moar LOLCats!
- Moar catz
- Some semi-decent ones without the lols that will some day make it to the gallery below
[edit] Gallery
This cat suffers from a victim complex. Take pity on the kitty. |
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Jihad kitty will cleanse the infidels! |
But even after being subjected to animal abuse, your pussy will still love you. heart*heart* |
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bitches don't know bout snipercat's magic bullitz. |
wetcat does not want |
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Limecat is not amused. |
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Submarinercat wants your periscope up. |
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Heil Kitler |
Bedcat: in ur bed, strokin' harbl |
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Asiancat approving |
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Pooperkitten is not happy |
Whoopdefuckingdoocat DOES NOT CARE |
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Fagcat is a faggot |
Hugs Tiem Cat |
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Kung fu cat will show you his moves! |
Hateseverything cat even hates you. |
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Supcat wants to know, Sup. |
Elton John cat is FABULOUS |
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Deviatedseptumcat wants to party hard. |
Juggercat wants you to stay out of his head. |
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The Japanese eat all sorts of things. |
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Moar catbread. |
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Earth's greatest weapon |
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Spamcat got gipped! |
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Microsoft certified |
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MacCat is pwning Windows |
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Only in Asia |
Inly an Osia |
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As certified by AZNs |
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MacCat is laughing at you |
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Yiffcat is not amused! |
Sonic suicided with bricks and knives |
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Weeaboo cat senses something's wrong! |
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STFUcat says STFU |
Dr. Kinsey-cat sees through your lies, woman |
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Better not tell the fundies |
Warning, cats can get DIABEETUS. |
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Frinkle cat wonders is a him. |