Fishing Cat

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This article is perfect. Don't fuck with it!

Fishing Cat, turn off your high-beams!

Mama Fishing Cat wonders what happened to Fishing Kitten

The chicken incident

Fishing Cat is fishing

Fishing Cat (Prionailurus viverrinus) is a large kitty who lives in a small Russian apartment with an extremely ugly Russian couple. Fishing Cat has been appearing on 4chan, especially /an/. The Russian couple have taken many pictures of Fishing Cat attempting to live in the way of his Southeast Asian country cousins. But as the country cousins are frolicking in beautiful subtropical forests and streams, basking in the morning sun, and taking a noon-time splash for some lunch-trout, Fishing Cat's lifestyle is a bit frustrating for him. Still, he lets a cat-smile be his umbrella, and does the best he can.

1 Early life
2 Hunting
3 Money
4 Kitty porn
5 Finding Fishing Cat
6 The future of Fishing Cat
7 See also
8 Fishing Cat gallery

[edit] Early life

No-one is really sure how Fishing Cat came to live with the Russian couple. It might be possible to learn more if one could read the ridiculous Russian writing, but that shit gives any normal person a headache. We can imagine perhaps that as Russians, they were on a sex tourism trip to Thailand. While walking back to their hotel from the "orphanage," they heard a strange, somehow innocent-sounding animal noise coming from the creek-side bushes. It was a little lost Fishing Kitten.

The Russians quickly perceived that there could be value in this strange-looking cat, and carried him to the hotel. The next morning, they packed him inside a suitcase, and traveled home to their Moscow apartment.

Surviving the trip with only a few small injuries, Fishing Kitten was not very happy with his new life in the apartment. Fortunately, a kindred soul lived there too, a domestic long-hair housecat named Katya. She became like a mother to Fishing Cat, although she increasingly began to believe that he was insane, even for a cat.

[edit] Hunting

Fishing Cat lives here

Because they don't have cat food in Russia, and indeed, Katya herself only survived by eating the numerous rodents and other small fry who happened to creep through the apartment, the problem soon arose of what Fishing Cat should eat. A rat or two each day still left him a hungry kitty, and he was growing much larger than the Russians had anticipated. One day they brought him a live chicken from the market. After torturing it for an hour or so, chasing it around the apartment in the spirit of feline hi-jinks and fun, Fishing Cat killed the chicken and ate it. It was good, but as the months dragged on, and chicken after chicken met its end in the hall closet, Fishing Cat soon wearied of this diet.

One evening the Russians returned home with some catfish they had caught in the local canal, planning to cook them for dinner. As the catfish were still alive, the Russians naturally put them in the bathtub. Fishing Cat was quick to perceive the delightful aroma, jumped into the water and captured the fish. Suddenly, the Russians realized that perhaps this was a Fishing Cat.

They began to bring home catfish as often as they could, and Fishing Cat began his career as a fish catcher.

[edit] Money

Lewd Russian man and felines

As average Russians, the couple are always thinking of scams and other ways to make money with the least possible effort. As Fishing Cat grew larger, they began taking him for walks through the city, where he made an excellent decoy for a pick-pocketing scam. While tourists and rich ladies admired Fishing Cat and rubbed his chin, one of the Russians would slyly remove someone's wallet or hotel room keys. Another way Fishing Cat helped them was serving as the star of childrens' birthday parties, for which the Russians would be paid $50 per hour by gangster parents, while swarms of violent little brats punched and poked at the friendly and patient Fishing Cat.

[edit] Kitty porn

Lewd Russian woman and Fishing Cat

But even this wasn't enough for the Russian couple. As of course they also had tendencies to furfaggotry, they began to take "soft porn" photos of Fishing Cat and themselves in positions they considered rather sexy. These proliferated on the Russian-speaking internets, which consist entirely of porn, scams, phishing and ID fraud forums, and full-screen ads for cell phones.

[edit] Finding Fishing Cat

It has become more difficult to find pictures online of this captured Fishing Cat in Russia, as the Russians removed the pictures from most of the free sites where they had been posted. They created a tl;dr shitty Russian site explaining all the things they'll pimp Fishing Cat out to do, along with a few pictures of Fishing Cat, now heavily watermarked to make them less exploitable. However, a few Russian sites still have unwatermarked pictures. If you put "КОТ-РЫБОЛОВ" (which apparently means "Fishing Cat") into Google, you may find more pictures of Fishing Cat.

[edit] The future of Fishing Cat

Fishing Cat's future seems rather bleak at the moment. Could someone rescue Fishing Cat? Fishing Cat would much prefer to be slinking along a jungle riverside.

[edit] See also

[edit] Fishing Cat gallery

Fun times, back home in the jungle	Grandma shows how it's done	Must stay fit for fishing	On the prowl
With the prey	Cousin Tiger, on the other hand, enjoys chicken quite a lot	At least they have each other	It is a very small apartment
A stinky cheese is fine too	He is watching you masturbate	The old-fashioned ways	I can has a Fishburger?
A bleak Russian life indeed.	Brainwashed into docility.	Cod goes where?	DO NOT WANT!
DO WANT!