Swirl Face

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“	Been kicking around Asia for the past five years, teaching mainly and finding other forms of mischief... I love teaching, can't get enough of it really.	„
— Christopher Paul Neil from his baleted Myspace page

Using Photoshop badly is serious business

Christopher Neil's face is swirly...Because of Parkinson's.

On October 7, 2007, CBS News's "60 Minutes Sunday" included an interview in Geneva with Interpol Secretary General Ron Noble who made the libtard point that Interpol is supposedly underfunded because the U.S. doesn't want Iran and Cuba to access its intelligence. To emphasize the point of the supposed lack of funding, the program showed a swirled photographic portrait of a then unidentified Canadian serial child molester, that was swirled back by a colleague of Irish Interpol Internet detective Mick Moran (see transcript). After the "60 Minutes Sunday" program, the news of the photograph spread to other news outlets, and Swirl Face was born.

Over many years, the gentleman pederast a.k.a Swirl Face had distributed via the internet over 300 photographs of himself having sexual congress with a number of boys as young as six years old in Vietnam and Cambodia. Swirl Face had assumed his IRL identity was safe as he had digitally obscured his face. Unfortunately, (for him at least) he demonstrated that his skillz at touching up 13 year old boys were better than his skillz in photoshop, foolishly using the "twirl" tool on the area around his face in the image (making it look something akin to a colorful asshole), instead of simply blurring or blacking it out the image. The police, using their keen deductive powers, twirled the photo in the opposite direction, and revealed this sick fuck's face to the world.

/b/ quickly discovered the lulzy before-and-after photos, and the legend of Swirl Face was born. ~~Now it falls to anonymous to identify this weeaboo AZN-fetish motherfucker before he can strike again.~~ ~~LOL identified.~~ ARRESTED!

1 Swirly Facts
2 October 19 Swirly Update - BUSTED!
3 Docs
4 Swirl Face in teh Newz
5 Gallery of Swirl

[edit] Swirly Facts

Lulz Everywhere

Interpol maintains a database of 520,000 images of child sex abuse. brb, h4x0ring.
12chan has nothing on Interpol.
Interpol chief Ronald Noble said: "We have tried all other means to identify and to bring him to justice." .......Then one of their kids told them how photoshop worked.
Pro-tip from MS Paint Help: "To erase a large area: In the toolbox, click to select a rectangular area or click to select a free-form area. Drag the pointer to select the area you want to erase. On the Edit menu, click Clear Selection."

“	MS PAINT is totally underrated	„
—Anonymous

“	if he hadnt tried to be such a clever little fuckup and just BLACK out his face he'd be fine	„
—/b/tard

“	only the most sincere and practiced fucktard could manage to get pwned by photoshoop and himself at the same time... lolz	„
—another /b/tard

[edit] October 19 Swirly Update - BUSTED!

Not the question he should have asked himself.

Who could that be?

Thanks to the publicity something like 350 snitches dropped a dime and his dox - the Swirly name, date of birth, passport number, and job have all been discovered. Swirl Face has been identified as Christopher Paul Neil, a Canadian English language teacher formerly employed in South Korea.

Expert boy toucher Neil is now busted! Herr Swirly was pwned today by a trace on the mobile phone of his 25-year-old Thai boyfriend, identified by transvestites in a seedy rural town called Pattaya. (Thai boyfriend? Transvestites? The epic lulz is epic! This just keeps getting better and better.) The Swirl-meister is now just that much closer to biting the pillow during his well-deserved and daily prison ass-poundings from Tyrone.

Swirlface Identified

Update

Yahoo Questions - are you swirlface? plz die kthx

[edit] Docs

Cached version of his dead MySpace

When south of the Equator, his face swirls counter clockwise.

Name: Christopher Paul Neil of Maple Ridge, BC
Age: 32
Nationality: Canadian, Gay
Turn ons: Holding hands, long walks on the beach, buggery, teh cock, pedophilia, dogs, and playing the Sims.
Turn offs: Fake people, bad breath, police dragnets and getting pwned by German computer geeks.
Current Loc: Thailand, in police custody, ~~probably~~ definitely shitting bricks

~~His Myspace~~ - with poetry and a story about Korean dog-eating... more like DONG EATING, amirite? LOLOLOLOL- BALETED, fucking faggot

Message board posts (using the handle "Peter Jackson"):

[edit] Swirl Face in teh Newz

Swirlface's epic disguise as Moby was not good enough

INTERPOL UPDATES

- BBC News Report

- another News Report

- Moar News

- Reuters

- Latest News

- Arrest Warrent Issued

- ARRESTED!

- ARREST VIDEO FROM AP!!1

Interview with Arresting Officer - LoL Subtitles

“	He would force them to strip their clothes, and make them suck his little dove (penis)... then pay them $6	„
—arresting officer (little dove rofl)

[edit] Gallery of Swirl

A very precise and succinct definition.	You are doing it wrong	Can I Be Meme Now?	Christopher Paul Neil is the TOUCHINATOR
MS Paint produces better Disguise	Herr Swirly - You Gonna Get Raped	Because the Government Can't just Swirl it the Other Way	Swirlmongler
Could you take a seat please.	Under-Rated MS PAINT	Moar Hiding	EPIC FAIL
Also useful for Superhero shenanigans	Evolution of the Swirl	Separated at birth? Or a more likely explanation...	oh noes...wot have i done?
Even swirling doesn't help a forced meme	A dark handsome stranger lol	Swirl Face passes the notability standard	Swirlface's deleted Myspace
MySpace Pic #1	MySpace Pic #2	BUSTED! lolz	Alleged cousin of Swirl Face
ARRESTED	swirlface's immigration card	PASSPORT LOL!!11	Arrested!!
He loves to eat dog	Will he ever go home again?? NO!	meta-meme	swirly's brother
Interpol can unswirl shops now	... but not all of them.	bitches can't unswirl either