Blazesonic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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[edit] About this faggotry
His fursona is a blue Pikachu with Sonic the Hedgehog's back spikes, wearing the animu faggot from Kingdom Hearts' costume named Sonic Thorndyke. Now, normally shoddy drawn unoriginal art is expected from little kids, but the fact of the matter is Blazesonic is 18 years old. In his short lived comic, Sonic Thorndyke and the Power Puff Girls (and Dexter for some reason) do battle against an evil organization once again consisting of every popular animu villain imaginable. He only got a few pages into it before 4chan got fed up with his bullshit and trolled the fuck out him. They even managed to phish his password from him (using passwords like "sonic" and "sonicblaze", he shouldn't be surprised). Blaze was so crushed by the raid, he quit the internet forever. Like most tartlets, he didn't keep his promise.
After only being back for a day, and getting a mere four negative comments, Blazesonic took down all of his pictures, comics, and journals. The next day he put them back up, claiming he wasn't going to be moved by "snobby Legions" and "computer geeks." He was unable to keep that promise.
[edit] The Second Coming of Anonymous
Within one hour, Blazesonic had taken all of his work down again, and it wasn't just him that was attacked, no. The Legion attacked his friends, "hacking" into their account and causing a mass hissyfit. But was Anonymous done? Oh no. nimp.org links were posted in journals, false explanations were given, confusion and deceit ran rampant, and it was wonderful. The beauty of this raid was that none of them had any idea at all who we were, or where we came from. They referred to us as a single person, named "Legion".
In some form of tribute, one of them wrote a poem to us, trying to get us to leave them alone if they leave us alone. As nice an offer as this was, we took the poem, as copypasted below, and resumed full bombardment. Blazesonic once again promised to leave the internet forever. But he'll be back. They always come back. And Anonymous must be ready to stop him when he does.
[edit] The Poem
As written by GinKyofu13 as some form of peace offering. Needless to say we took it and continued our crusade anyway.
Its better not to be an internet Hero, But somehow I know where he live? Who ever he is? I don't know anymore, But I learn my lesson, I will return in one condition, TO stay out of their Legion way.
I am sorry... I should stay out of their way, And there is no way to stopped them...
I will stay and stay out their way...
So please Legion, may you please leave me and my friends alone and we won't mess you anymore?
[edit] Quotes
[edit] Blazesonic just wants to be with his friends!
The first time Blazesonic was trolled off the interwebs, almost a year ago, he made this lulzy worthy entry in his Sheezyart journal.
| “ | Listen! I don't appreciate you guys thinking that I have the imagination of a brick! I have a lot MORE ideas than you probably do in your own head! I joined SA to get away from the mean people of DA and their hackers, but it seems this place has them too! All I want to do is share my art with my friends! And I don't need people like some of you dragging me down!! So, unless you have something nice to say....KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on the importance of making new friends. | ||
| “ | No one will listen to you dude! They like my stuff and that's all there is to it. So YOU shut up! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on being a talented yet humble artist. | ||
| “ | Yeah. My last two accounts were sonicpowerteam and blazesonic. Both were hacked and they had nasty pictures posted up. Anyway, thanks for all of your support guys! I really appreciate it! And Chapter 2 has started! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, talking about his new comic, beating off to Sonic the Hedgehog and other shit that nobody cares about, except for flaming and defacement purposes of course. | ||
[edit] We are Anonymous! means LOSER!
| “ | I've decided that I'm not going to go hiding because of a bunch of elite snobs who call themselves a "Legion". They have no right to go judging people just by their artwork. So, I'm taking the risk! I'm continuing Sonic Universe Heroes even with these snobs hovering around. I've worked too hard to give up to a bunch of computer geeks! So, no matter what the foul language, THIS drawer isn't moving ONE BIT!!!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on getting raided. | ||
| “ | I think they WILL suffer if they keep seeing THIS up! So I will make them SUFFER!!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, taking lessons from DivineAngel in being a fucktard. | ||
| “ | Anonymous are IMBECILES. Anonymous are THUMB SUCKING LIFELESS BABIES. They have the attention span of a GOLDFISH. | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on goldfish. | ||
[edit] Blazesonic fucking snaps
| “ | YOU KNOW WHAT?! THAT'S IT!! YOU SCUM DON'T KNOW A GOOD ARTIST EVEN IF IT BIT YOUR FAT, FREAKING ASS!!!!! I'M DEFINETLY GONE FOR GOOD! YOU SCUM ARE JUST HEARTLESS! YA HEAR ME?! YOUR FAT, FUCKING, SASSY, ASS HEADS!!!!!!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic succumbs to anonymous. | ||
| “ | IT'S NOT ME! BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THIS ACCOUNT! I'M NEVER COMING BACK EVER!!!!! AND YOU SCUMBAGS ARE THE FILTHIEST IDIOTS I EVER MET IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!! YOU AND YOUR STUPID ANONYMOUS GANG. WELL, YOUR LEADER'S MOM IS JUST A PILE OF COW PIE THAT NOT EVEN BILL CLINTON WOULD WANT TO LOOK AT!!!!!!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on your mom | ||
| “ | They are WHAT I DRAW!!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DEFILE PEOPLE'S LIVES IN SUCH A MATTER!!!!!! AND YOU'RE THE COCKFAG!!!!!!! COCKFAG! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, on cocks. | ||
| “ | YOU GUYS RUIN EVERYONE'S LIVES! WHY DON'T YOU ALL ROT IN HELL?! I HOPE WHEN YOU'RE CAUGHT, THAT'S WHERE YOU GO! YOU SHOULD DIE FOR THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED! I HOPE THE F.B.I. TAKES YOU SCUMBAGS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! | „ |
| —Blazesonic, calling the ePolice. | ||
[edit] A Word From His Friend
| “ | Well, my old pal Sonic2007 has once agian been run out of DA by some jackass pretending to be him! It's a whole group of people to seem to have it out for him! It's not fair who he's treated! THis also means that the comic I was helping him with is offically over.. but... I swear I'll get even with these assholes if it's the Last thing I do!!!! | „ |
| —jedimickey, on Blazesonic | ||
[edit] IDOLS!
The artist, Bleedman, is Blazesonic's idol. His dream is for his comic to gain his approval and meet him, in person, so he can suck his tiny chiny chubby. This will of course never happen, as even Bleedman would be appalled by Blazesonic's work. Still, he pursues his fool dream... until 4chan trolls him off the internet again, hopefully for good this time.
[edit] Sonic Hearts: How To Rape a Fandom
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[edit] Sonic Universe Failures
 Cover art failure. What the fuck are those polka dot things? |
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 Talk about ripping off SEGA entirely. |
 Look, shithead, 'savvy' isn't a random fucking word. It's basically the same as "Comprende?" or "Capisce?". LEARN THE LANGUAGE, FAGGOT. |
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 A BAD THING |
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 After this page, he was chased off of DA. |
 This is the kid who wrote both of these tragedies. |
[edit] The Erotic Fanfic
From the Anonymous that brought you the Dylan Tnga+Sakurai sex story, comes a fappable story. tl;dr, faggot.
Sonic Thorndyke gripped his keyblade and looked out to the horizon, his furry blue hands shaking with anticipation. It had been months now since he had held the secret that caused him such anxiety, but now he was finally ready to reveal it to his comrades. His eyes welled up with tears as he attempted to cope with the revelation he was about to unleash upon his friends- how long ago had it been since it first manifested itself? It must have been at least half a year ago, when he first met his heroic new friends. First came Bell, the white-haired girl that may or may not have been totally plagiarized from some other terrible fanfic world. Next came Alex, the blonde-haired rogue that was also lifted right off the page of another catastrophically gay fanfic in violation of several major copyright laws.
Sonic himself had been very troubled even before the arrival of these two complete abominations of originality, however...And how could he not be troubled? He could barely even look in the mirror without shedding a tear. He was hideous- it was as if a toddler with an overload of extra hormones had combined the worst things of children's entertainment and spastically drew the result on Microsoft Paint in five minutes. He was so lonely- no other fanfic character would even give him the time of day. Donut would just laugh at him. Marcus wouldn't even give him a speech about using his imagination- it was crushingly depressing. He was alone, pathetic and alone...Until his friends came.
They arrived through some sort of portal in the universe, like a giant hole in a terrible plot. Bell was a sweet girl, and seemed to have an interest in him. And Alex...Sonic smiled. Alex was unlike anyone he ever met. His boyish charms could make him grin childishly on even the most tragic of occassions. Sonic's bright red cheeks blushed even deeper. He would let them know today. He had to. After Sonic had mustered up all of his courage, Alex and Bell arrived- some twisted form of luck, perhaps? Sonic closed his eyes, ran a clumsy, poorly-illustrated hand through his blue fur and sighed..."Guys...Before we go and beat up more children's cartoon characters and squiggly lines that are intended to be monsters, I have something that I need to tell you" Sonic said, his entire body shaking with nervousness now. "I knew you had something on your mind, Sonic...Last time you could barely go Super Saiyan Naruto Bullshit Power Level 9000 when we were fighting the polka-dot squiggly heartless monsters" Bell scoffed. "Hey, go easy on Thorndyke. He's been through a lot. It's not easy, being plagiarized from almost a dozen different original sources. Look at you, you're only stolen from one franchise and you're a complete wreck" Alex shot back, defending Sonic from Bell's harsh tone.
Bell shrank back, obviously hurt. Insulting Sonic was only her way of showing how much...How much she really cared about him. She wanted him more than anything. If he wanted, Sonic could easily be with her...She wondered what his confession was. Sonic cleared his throat and began, his prepubescent voice cracking with anticipation. "W..Well...Y'see...You guys..." he started, stammering wildly..."It's been r-really hard for me to fight alongside you recently...I...I've...I've fallen in love, okay? It's really hard watching you fight heartless and put yourself in danger when I love you....You know who you ar-" at this point, he was cut off by an overjoyed squeal from Bell. "Sonic, I love you too!" she cried, jumping in the air with a huge grin on her delicious loli face. Sonic's eyes widened with surprise. "What? Not you, you dumb bitch!" He laughed, Alex laughing alongside him. "Why the hell would I want you? Listen, it's been a hard thing for me to admit all these years, but...Well, I'm gay! Alex, all those times I said I was always watching your back...You knew the truth, didn't you!" Sonic said inbetween bouts of laughter. Alex nodded and slapped Sonic on his blue furry ass, taunting the beautiful Bell right in front of her. Sonic responded by wrapping his arms around Alex and pressing his lips against his blonde beau's, his rodent tongue mingling with Alex's. They were making out, slurping tongues and groping each other right in front of Bell! Bell began to cry, and that's when Sonic and Alex turned to face her menacingly...
"What should we do with this useless whore, Alex?" Sonic said, laughing cruelly as he casually slipped a hand beneath Alex's green jersey and gently teasing his nipples with a furry paw. "Mmm...Ooh, I don't know Sonic...Yeah, that's it...A little faster, keep going" Alex moaned, sidetracked by his furry friend's roaming hands. "Should we...should we rape her?" Alex said, licking his lips. "Eww..No way!" Sonic yelped in disgust. "She's a female! Females are only good for one thing...Meals!" Sonic gleefully cackled, pouncing on Bell and knocking her to the floor. In an instant his claws ripped her clothes off, revealing her naked, flat chest, which he happily began to tear open with his bared claws. Meanwhile, Alex had begun to season the girl's remains with his precum, dousing the dying girl with his milky man-chowder. A deathly gurgle escaped what remained of Bell's throat, and her eyes become glassy and blank. She was no more. "Move over Sonic, those new holes you made look fantastic, they're mine now" Alex growled, gently shoving his lover away from the corpse as he found a fresh wound and inserted his penis into it, screaming various obscenities at the corpse as he thrusted against the new orifice. Sonic giggled and went behind Alex, pinching his nipples with his claws until little drops of blood began to surface on Alex's pale prepubescent chest. Sonic gently slid his member inside Alex now, and the two began to match rhythm, Alex grinding his ass against the pelvis of Sonic as Sonic's tiny blue cock worked its way into Alex's asshole.
Alex screamed in delight as he let Sonic have his way for now, still enjoying the fresh corpse before him. "Mmph....This is...this is better than that episode of Invader Zim...When Gir..Oohh..When Gir says he likes...OH GOD YES...He likes...T-t-tacos! YES!" Alex declared, his tender ass bumping against the sweaty sapphire fur of Sonic's pelvis. Sonic began to convulse now, feeling himself close to orgasm- until Alex stopped, standing up now before Sonic. "Mmm, you're going to have to work for your orgasm, love" Alex said seductively, and Sonic instinctively found himself slurping at Alex's tender penis. It wasn't long before Sonic was on all fours like a good Pikachu, letting Alex ravage his ass, pounding away at his anus. The dried fecal matter that had stuck to Sonic's fur began to fall off in crusty flakes on the ground as Alex began to thrust harder and faster, and a trickle of blood ran down Alex's cock now. "Owwww...Please Alex, no more!" Sonic begged, the pain nearly overwhelming him now as he felt a warm, wet sensation build up in his gut. Alex ignored him, however, and it wasn't long before Sonic felt a soaking torrent of liquid feces erupt from his ass. The stress that his secret had created had been too much for his insides to bear, and now the product of all that stress was coating Alex's cock with a putrid brown liquid. "Naughty Pikachu! Looks like you'll have to please me even more now!" Alex said as he took his cock out and inserted a fist, which instantly became coated in diarrhea. Alex punched away at Sonic's sphincter happily, using his clean hand to stroke his cock.
"So....you like shitfisting, do you?" Alex inquired as Sonic neared orgasm....Sonic could do nothing but nod, his teeth clenched together in sheer agony as his asshole began to contract, Alex's prostate punches beginning to stretch his anus to gigantic proportions. More of the wretched liquid shit poured out of Sonic's asshole now like a waterfall as he screamed one final cry of agony, his cock twitching and finally exploding in orgasm right at the moment of prolapse. Massive spurts of semen fell onto the ground at the same moment as Sonic's intestines splattered onto the Earth, and Sonic staggered before finally falling onto his knees, growing weak as the prolapse began to take effect. "Alex...my love..help me..." Sonic rasped, landing on his stomach as he looked up at his lover. Alex looked at what he had done in horror- he had never meant to kill Sonic, only please him! Silently and solemnly, Alex walked over to his clothing and drew a pistol from his pockets, weeping quietly as he witnessed Sonic's last agonized moments. One shot later, Sonic's suffering had ended. The mercy killing was swift. Another shot later, and it was over. The heroes were dead, and the heartless (or whatever plagiarized villain threatened Original Charactersville) were ensured victory. Yet still, among the field of death where Sonic and Alex had embraced one final time, there was hope. Hope that more stupid teenagers would write mangled fanfics. Hope that love could bloom once more, even on the battlefield. With more Kingdom Hearts games on the horizon, the promise of more plagiarized passion filled the onlookers with hope. Bell, becoming very hot and horny from this gay testament taking place before her very eyes, began to rub her newly formed, lucious tits. She moaned as her nipples slowly became erect. She couldn't hold it any longer, the way sonic massaged Alex's cock made her pussy wet. She lifted up her skirt, with female finesse, and began to pleasure herself through her panties. She moaned as Sonic bent over for Alex, removing his pants, revealing his perfect asshole.
[edit] External Links
