Paul McCartney

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Take me, John! Take me like the underage slut I am!

Paul McCartney is a singer probably best known for being about 3/4 of the talent of The Beatles. After that, he's known for dying and being replaced by a clone. After that, his clone is known for over 30 years of shitty pop songs.

1 As a Member of The Beatles
2 Death
3 Paul McCartney and Wings
4 Paul McCartney and Rule 34

[edit] As a Member of The Beatles

This one's pretty self-explanatory.

Paul McCartney got his start when he answered John Lennon's ad in the newspaper seeking a personal ass slave. Since John was trying to break into the music biz, and Paul was around anyway, John gave him a bass and told him to start writing sappy pop rock ballads.

The two soon found that they were adept at making 16 year old girls wet, a skill that was completely useless to the two fags. However, those pairs of sopping panties bought each of their kajillion albums, singles, compilations, remixes, live recordings, movies, lunchboxes, battleships, and pants. And, as Paul said, "Money can't buy me love- but it can buy me a shitload of LSD and pot!"

Also, there were two guys named George and Ringo.

[edit] Death

That cheatin' whore!

Last Thursday, a radio DJ started speading the rumor that Paul McCartney had died. Everyone laughed, even though the proof was right in front of them, tucked away in The Beatles' songs and album covers.

On Wednesday morning at 5 am, John sent Paul to the store to get more lube. Paul got distracted by a passing shota, and crashed his car like a fucktard. The Beatles, not wanting to give up their magnificent amounts of cash and narcotics, found a Taiwanese prostitute named Billy Shears who looked a little like Paul, gave him some plastic surgery, and made him take Paul's place. All of this was subconsciously inserted into the lyrics of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" by a grieving and coked-up John Lennon.

John continued to drop little hints throughout the rest of The Beatles' albums, going so far as to express his wish to rape Paul's corpse in a backwards tape loop on "Revolution 9". And you thought it was a bunch of random noise!

Billy could not leave behind his promiscuous ways, and soon began to fuck other members of the band. At the same time, John fell in love with a azn trap named Poko Ono. This made the Beatles break up, and millions of worthless teenyboppers become an hero.

[edit] Paul McCartney and Wings

Billy- now known as Paul- started a new band called Wings with his common law wife Linda Mack. Wings was notable for being the only band gheyer than the Village People (until, of course, being usurped by Panic! At the Disco). Paul and John , still butthurt from the breakup, went to war, using increasingly shitty pop songs as ammunition. The war didn't end until John got pwned IRL by a gu trying to become an hero, but doing it wrong.