Butthurt

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Butthurt is a common ailment amongst losers, gays, an heroes and emofags. It is usually characterized by noisy whining and complaining after being pwnt or otherwise outdone in any minute and insignificant way. It was invented at least 100 years ago by Vlad the Impaler when he went crazy from living in a time without teh internets. Today, butthurt occurs most commonly when you fall asleep with your friends and they, being your friends, decide it would be funny to sodomize you. Butthurt is also a primary generator of lulz on the internets and has produced many lolcows.

You think you got problems?
You think you got problems?

Contents

[edit] Ways to avoid butthurt

LAWL
LAWL
  1. Don't fall asleep in the same room as "your friends".
  2. Don't fall asleep in gay bars.
  3. Keep your anus sewed up at all times, unless taking a dump.
  4. Make sure your Raisin Bran is still good.
  5. Don't let someone put you in a head-lock, sleeper-hold.
  6. Don't go to jail, especially if it's for giving someone else butthurt.
  7. If you're under 15, NEVER accept an invitation to a sleepover at Neverland Ranch.
  8. Seek training and guidance from Kirk Johnson, who's put in the work necessary to make sure he never feels butthurt (or anything else back there) ever again.
  9. Wear a buttplug at all times.
  10. Don't Stick a highlighter up your pooper.
  11.  ????
  12. PROFIT!

Let it be known that step 3 is the only sure way to avoid butthurt.

[edit] Stages of butthurt

(Note: This only applies to lolcow edition. For them homos please look in this gallery. If you or anyone you know have recently dsicovered that you have an article on ED, saying meany mean things about your mom, then these are the stages that you will soon be dealing with soon, that every lovely young lady and growing young lad goes through. Maybe you posted really obnoxious art on deviant art, or have stated that you are a dragon, or are a flat out furfag art whore cum slobbering gutter slut. It doesn't matter now, because you all will go through the same phases.


  • stage one: IDC lol :)

You try to pull off that you don't care about the article. In fact, even thanking ED for all the views that its been giving their art pages on DeviantArt. pushaw! Show your fans that you're better than that. Note: During this time you will have inflated ego, and an urge to write a poem to ED giving thanks to them. Luckily this is the shortest stage of all and will likely last a week at most.

stage 2:OMG ED said I haet Mudkips!!! >:(
stage 2:OMG ED said I haet Mudkips!!! >:(
  • stage two: BLACK RAGE!!

Forget being nice, the ED hasn't deleted that article yet after a whole five minutes and it's time to bring out your inner fat russian kid. Post anti-ED furry gay porn on deviantart and see how those rapscallions like that! This of course will only bring out more lulz. You will no doubt send your fans to edit the page, bringing down even moar lulz. To show them who's the bees knees, make a youtube video of you and your little brother rapping about how much EDiots smell.

  • stage three: BAAAAAAAAAAWW!!!

Start saying on livejournal that your mood is sad :(. Make big rants about how your life sucks and how no one likes you. Contrary to popular belief, the ED will only edit the pictures of you looking sad that you posted to make it look like mudkips are raping your face.

  • stage four: God

Why be mad when you could be a martyr? You will begin saying you forgive ED because it's what Jesus would do. Similar to stage one, only you add in that everyone on ED will burn in hell anyways so it doesn't matter lol. :D

  • Stage five: ???????????

???????????????

[edit] Sufferers of Butthurt

Your face would look like this too with a cock up your ass.
Your face would look like this too with a cock up your ass.
Victim of butthurt
Victim of butthurt

[edit] But THAT's not Butthurt

[edit] See Also

Shocked and Appalled


Butthurt
is part of a series on
Homosexual Deviants
Dyke women Faggot men
Les Six - Lesbian bed death - Lesbian Break-Up - Lesbian invisibility - Two Degrees of Separation - Lesbian Quiz - Pegging - Scissoring - Lesbian pedophilia AIDS - Buttsecks - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Chris Crocker - Circle jerk - Cocksucking Rampage - Cowboy - Denmark - Fag - Faghag - Faggot icon - Gay boys - Ghey - Giant dildo of death - God hates fags - Hard Gay - Homosexual agenda - Johnnyr - John Edwards - Matthew Shepard - Bikerfox - NAMBLA - Santorum - Sodomy - Twinks - XY
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