James Brown

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James Brown in the '50s.

James Brown with his killer.

James Brown was a legendary black singer, famous for inventing the fuck machine and writing a song about it. He has also been credited for teaching black folks that it's ok to be flamboyant on stage without having to be a fag like Little Richard, and was a role model for young blacks by showing that no matter how old you are, you're never too old to beat your wife when she gets out of line.

[edit] James Brown Is Dead

After a night of fucking his wife and his backup singers, Brown died on Christmas Day, demonstrating that he didn't actually feel good at all. However, the Dutch electronic dance fag group LA Style found themselves at the top of the bootleg download list for three weeks due to the demand for their 1991 "hit", James Brown Is Dead.