Dead or Alive

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

A shitty video game that 13-year-old boys fap to, but also a really gay 1980s band.

front to back: Pete, Steve, mullet, and that guy no one cares about

Formed 100 years ago by Pete Burns, who back then looked like a guy but was still a gothpunkfag... the line up changed a lot but I can't be arsed to care. The line up most people know is Pete Burns, Steve Coy, that mullet guy, and the other one.

1 Pete Burns
2 You Spin Me Round
3 They're not goddamn Culture Club
4 Extra: How to really freak out a Pete Burns fangirl
5 Links

[edit] Pete Burns

Like most bands, the only member people give a shit about is the lead singer. Pete Burns is the embodiment of drama. No, rly. Back in the 80s he drew a lot of attention for his outrageous on-stage antics, cross-dressing, and all in all being a freak. The gay community was totally in love with him, and delusional 16 year old girls even moreso. He denied being homosexual stated he believed love sees no gender. By 1985 the fangirls and fanfags were all fighting in the streets on whether he meant he was gay but would go straight or the other way around.

back when he looka likea man. Kinda.

Recent scientific discoveries have found out that in the 80s, he actually WAS married to a woman, and was so for 20 years. The delusional fangirls used this to back up their fantasies of getting laid by him. However, when he met his wife they were technically both delusional 16 year old girls (lol). It has been speculated that he actually caught t3h gay from his backup dancers in 1987, but others say maybe he just wanted a cock in his ass for once.

Actual footage of the backup dancers giving Pete t3h gay

if you search for "Dead or Alive hentai" and expect to see this instead of this, you are gay. Or a 16 year old girl

Dead or Alive has a huge following in Japan, no surprise considering they love shitty techno music and girly-men. Pete Burns was good friends with Morrissey until he started touring in Japan. One day he came back from the tour and raped the Mozzer while wearing a fur coat. Morrissey broke up the friendship because he's against wearing fur and also didn't know that rape is how you say hello in Japan.

Morrissey is unaware he is about it get it in the ass from Pete Burns. Lucky bastard

Whatever the cause, in the 90s he decided to hook his lips up to a bicycle pump and inflate away. Okay, it was actually plastic surgery... but people wondered why he just didn't get a whole sex change. He claimed he didn't want to be a woman, and this is always how he felt on the inside. Whatever you say, duckie.

Most sane people felt he had gone off his rocker (although saner people knew this years ago), but the delusional fangirls squealed with joy, hoping maybe he'd eat them out with those lips. I doubt you'd want that, because apparently whatever's in his lips is made out of aborted baby foreskins. Goddamn batshit insane closet lesbian goths. Pete was no longer the target of affection for gay men since he looked too much like a girl, but he now had a fanbase of confused heterosexual men.

Fangirls: OMG SO HOT! AND TOTALLY NOT GAY.

Celebrity big Brother nearly made Pete straight again, as weird as it looks

In 2006 he appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, and pwned animal rights activists by wearing a coat made from some gorilla. or monkey or whatever. He ultimately lost to a chav but what really matters is that he totally pwned his crazy fangirls by saying he had divorced his wife 2 years ago and is now dating some grungy slob dude.

Two months later he released his autobiography, where it was revealed he and his wife only did it a few times because "love isn't about sex and sex isn't about love" and all that deep spiritual love shit. This was the ultimate pwnage, for even if he did still like vaginas, he sure as hell wouldn't fuck girls more materialistic, stuck-up, vain, and crazy than him (which his fangirls all are)

All the crazy fangirls have by now either killed themselves or are searching for the biggest damn strap-on they can find. Gotta hand it to them, they're determined to get that ass one way or another

fangirls=PWN3D!!

UPDATE! Pete and his slob boyfriend, Michael, are now teh married OH NOES! Time for me and all the other fangirls to become an heroes.

Pete circa now. He obviously didn't get the message that emo haircut=BAD IDEA

[edit] You Spin Me Round

You spin me right round, baby Right round like a record, baby Right round round round You spin me right round, baby Right round like a record, baby Right round round round

[For the true meaning of this song, visit this: http://www.halo360films.com] Pete Burns has a cameo in the new game.

The only song anyone remembers. Unless you're a crazy obsessed fan, then you know their other, equally repetitive songs, like:

"What I really need to do Is find myself a brand new lover Somebody real nice to me Who doesn't notice all the others What I really need to do Is find a brand new lover"

The song is played in every freaking 80s nostalgia TV show, movie, themed restaurant, and CD compilation

The crazy fans think it's a really deep song. Uh-huh.

[edit] They're not goddamn Culture Club

Despite the fact that many lulz occour by comparing Dead or Alive to Culture Club in front of a hardcore DoA fan, it is important to know the differences.

. Pete Burns looks either like a total freaky tranny or a really hot chick, depending on who you are. Boy George is just a big fatty
. Culture Club songs usually go like: "Ohhhhh, ohhh-hoooo, lalalalalala". Dead or Alive songs are more like "UH! UH! UH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! *pounding dance beat*"
. No 16 year old girl has ever deluded herself into thinking Boy George will fuck her.