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ITunes Store
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The iTunes Store is yet another monopoly run by Crapple which sells piss-poor quality anti-piracy formats that are accessed through its shiTunes application.
Opening as the iTunes Music Store on 9/11, it proved the viability of ripping people off. As of December 2007, the store has sold 3.1 billion songs to countless suckers, accounting for more than 70% of worldwide online digital music sales. Lol paying for music. Most downloaded files come with restrictions on their use, enforced by unFairPlay, Apple's version of being monopolistic cunts.
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[edit] Background
From the Holy Bible, book of mootle, chapter 13 verse 42, let thine Apple come hence!
One day, a long time ago, approximately 42 B.I. (before interbutts), Al Gore was sitting in his home, stroking thy penis and thinking about how awesome cocks were, he had the idea to create Apple. On thy first day, thou created the Mac. The Mac was a useless pile of shit that looked like a cheese grater and did nothing more useful than, in fact, grating thine cheese. Al Gore was very satisfied with his invention. So satisfied, he continued his work on Apple. On the second day, Al invented the Apple Store, a place where fucks with no idea how to use a computer could come and get belittled until they cried, yet receiving no help with their machine. On the third day, Al Gore invented iPods, a commercialized external hard drive with a headphone jack. Al Gore then noticed something was missing. He pointed his finger, and invented the iTunes store! Now all the retards that bought an iPod could listen to shit quality music that can only be played on said iPod. Al Gore was finally satisfied with his work. On the fourth day, he sat back, and took a great big furry wank.
[edit] Facts and figures
- Apple music can be played on
Zunes, Creative Zens, CD players, Winamp, other generic mp3 players and PC/Mac music programs, andiPods. - Apple music can only be used on 5 computers at a time because Apple CEOs are unfunny Jews that don't think you have the right to use what you own however the fuck you want. <3 Free Market.
- Now you can pay through the nose to download iTunes music on your bulky iPhone which already has an over $9000 phone bill to begin with from using it to download porn.
- Your mom uses iTunes.
[edit] Fag Friendly
Speaking of itunes, now all you people have to go into IRL can buy your shitty music, on the go! iPhones and iPod Touches now come with a Wi-Fi Apple Store, which means Apple can even rape you up the ass and watch you masturbate while you're out doing srs bsns. For all of you hip metrosexual faggots out there, you can also download the latest pop-song-in-a-can music playing at a Starbuck's Coffee near you while sipping on an iced-frappe-chocolatey-mocha-latte-cool-marshmallow-fluff-moo-latte which totally makes you the coolest person ever!
[edit] Globalization
To appeal to all the weeaboos and niggers halfway across the world listening to their boring J-Pop, iTunes has made the iTunes store work in at least 100 countries worldwide, including third-world hellholes such as Africa, where the only thing more common than niggers that don't even have internet is AIDS.
[edit] Related Links
 ITunes Store is part of a series on Web 2.0 | Web 2.0 • Social networking • Social networking sites • Blogging • Blogosphere • Podcasting • Wikiing • Ajax • Ruby on Rails • Internet Humanitarianism • X is not your personal army • ITunes Store
Web 2.0 Sites People of Web 2.0 |
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