Creationist

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Note: This article will never be as funny as the truth

Essentially, a Creationist is just a fan girl with more political power.

Here is the 'Am I A Creationist?' Test:

Are science, logic, observable data, and rationality, completely and utterly incorrect?
Is God correct?
Do I have a Doctorate from an unaccredited, Christian diploma-mill?
Am I from the South?
Am i rite?

Typical Creationist logic

What creationism does to the public school system.

Even retards are smarter than you.

Proof that evolution is a Lie!!111.

If you answered 'Yes' to all of the above, you are a Creationist. Well done. Buy shares in tinfoil hats.

Some creationists call themselves "proponents of intelligent design" and pretend to understand science. You will need an alternate test:

Was the world created 6,000 years ago?
Can you prove this assertion using carbon-dating and the fossil record?

If you answered 'Yes' to all of the above, you are an ID proponent. Modern science has obviously been pwnt by cave-dwelling sheep-fuckers from 1900 years ago, and you're going to prove it using modern science!

1 The Copypasta
2 Satan Invented Evolution!
3 Creationists' beliefs
4 See also:
5 Links

[edit] The Copypasta

Do not mess with Creationists. True story, I go the YMCA across from this Church in Brooklyn. One day me and my dudes are walking down Hunter Ave and a bunch of these Bible-blaring men and women come out and tell us "why are wearing shorts above our knee!!!!". Well, we just played basketball so what do you expect? Then they give us these pamphlets with Jesus quotes and all that. My dude throws it away right when this big fat lady gives him one (mind you, she was slow at passing them out). She gets so mad and, then and there, BEATS the shit out of him with her fat hand!

So I run home and call the police. They didnt believe me so I got my mom on the line, but before that I had to tell her:

So then my mom got scared and said "you’re moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the Licensplate said "fresh" and had a dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby "yo, home smell you later" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air

[edit] Satan Invented Evolution!

The reason why evolution exists, according to this intellectual genius named VenomFangX, is not because some old guy thought it up. No, it was Satan!! Satan started evolution in the Garden of Eden, who told Eve everything in order to further his plans for world domination. Also, VenomFangX states that scientists just merely thought up the idea from their imagination that all Hu-Mans are related to either dogs or bananaz. Though Creationists, such as VenomFuckU, fail to realize that this argument is flawed, since furries exist.