Hot Topic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Did you know that... Hot topic was founded by Russian mafia icon Ignad Jaskavich?? |
Started in 1988 by Orv Madden, Hot Topic has spread like wildfire in the late 90's thanks to the rise of the emo, punk, and goth subcultures among America's teens, and now has sprouted to over 600 locations. Hot Topic[1] provides clothing, accessories, and novelty items to America's goths, punk and emo subcultures. From band merchandise and overpriced gothic and punk clothes to Care Bears and other 80's faggotry. Hot Topic has set the modern fashion standards for the above mentioned douchebags. Everything in the fucking store is overpriced. Like paying $25 for a fucking WALLET.
Hot Topic is on the NASDAQ, under the ticker HOTT.
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[edit] How to Find a Hot Topic
Hot Topic can be identified up close by its large black circular entrance and small display of novelty t-shirts in two windows located adjacent on either side. However, from a distance, the store usually can be identified by emo, punk, goth or heavy metal music playing at high volume and the putrid smell of incense. Music varies from location to location, depending on the musical preferences of the store's clerks, as well as the season in which the store is visited (example: heavy metal is played in the summer, but is only allowed to be played certain times during the fall, winter, and spring - "the School Year" for most American teens and college students). Tara Gilesbie travels to the United States daily to shop at Hot Topic.
[edit] Marketing Skills
In an example of life coming full circle, Hot Topic has taken steps (though not yet enough steps, apparently [2]) toward eliminating fat girls - once a dominating force in whimpering music subcultures - from their locations. They have begun opening a chain of stores, called Torrid (a.k.a. Fat Topic), that provide fat girls a place to purchase clothing that is decidedly less "hot topic". These stores are normally located on separate floors to help keep the fat girls from accidentally wandering into Hot Topic. Any Torrid is hopefully kept at ground or better basement level to keep the building from caving in. Also fat girls get too sweaty from taking the escalator.
[edit] Crappy made Clothing
All of the clothes that Hot Topic makes is from chinks who know nothing of the "Don't Tell Me" Culture. All clothing articles usually fall apart within 24 minutes of purchase. When you actually put on the clothes at home, the black loses its sheen and you look like a fucking EMO bastard drinking coffee and a old coffee shop on the computer talking with AIM, lulzing it up.
[edit] Hot Topic Backlash
On the internet, Hot Topic has become the equivalent of a racial slur to be hurled by emo white chicks at each other to diss their punk credibility. Example: "I'll kick your Hot Topic ass." This can greatly damage the rep of an emo chick and can only be reversed by listing at least three obscure bands that no one else has heard of, or by quoting Less Than Jake lyrics.
Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock
Making the video series My Immortal was not punk rock. However, doing it for the lulz is punk rock.
[edit] Hot topic is NOT METAL
See title. Why? huh, when you listen to metal you'll know.
[edit] Hot topic is not gothique
Wearing black doesnt make you a goth, smartass
[edit] Links
- Hot topic fails at NASDAQ[3]
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Hot Topic is part of a series on Music. |
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