Rape and Bukkake
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
R&B is basically pop, only it has the added gimmick of being made solely by black people. Many people believe it stands for "Rhythm and Blues", but this is actually a lie. It really stands for "Rape and Bukkake", because that's what all the songs are about.
Hip-hop is another name for the genre, which is generally more widely accepted because it sounds appropriately retarded.
Contents
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[edit] Fans
A great many 16-year-old girls and fags in denial listen to R&B. The most culturally appropriate way to greet an R&B fan is by dropkicking them in the face.
[edit] List of popular R&B artists
LOL j/k, there is no art to R&B!
[edit] List of attractive, talentless fucks who make R&B
[edit] Alicia Keys
Essentially the Jesus of the R&B world because she can actually play piano, which is borderline on having talent. Often placed within the genres of "Soul" and "Urban", which is what people call R&B when they're too embarrassed to admit to listening to it.
[edit] Curtis "50 "Fiddy Fizzizzle" Cent" Jackson
As all rich black people do, 50 Cent sings songs exclusively about how he used to be poor, but get this: He isn't anymore.
His claim to fame is that he is the first functionally retarded rap artist after being shot at least 100 times last thursday and not being permabanned from life or making "music".
[edit] Sample "50 "Fiddy Fizzizzle" Cent" lyrics
muhnuh muhnuh muhnuh muhnuh CLUB muhnuh mana muhnuh muhnuh HOES muhnuh muhnuh muhnuh muhnuh SUB muhnuh muhnuh muhnuh muhn NOES muhfuggin bix nood
[edit] Janet Jackson
Known for not being a pedophile, and for being an attention whore with a dysfunctional wardrobe.
[edit] Kelis
Not a very successful singer, she has to sell dairy products on the side to make money.
[edit] Ursher
Like most R&B artists, none of Ursher's songs is actually about anything. He tries to make up for this by showing off his abs at every opportunity.
[edit] Sample Ursher lyrics
- Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah.
[edit] Sample Hurricane Chris Lyrics
- Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay Ay bay bay
[edit] Ciara
Is it a guy? Is it a girl? What the fuck is it? Ciara is one of those corporate R&B things created at least 100 years ago in order to hypnotize impressionable young people with monotone vocals and computer generated tunes even a 386 would be ashamed of.
[edit] Rihanna
Much like Ciara, some sort of blob, only transported from some 40-letter country off the coast of Mexico. She also has a fucking huge forehead.
[edit] Sample Rihanna Lyrics
- ella ella ella ee ee ee ee umbrella ella ella ee ee ee eee ella ee ee ee ella umbrella ee ee ella ella ella umbrella ella ella ella ee ee ee ee umbrella ella ella ee ee ee eee ella ee ee ee ella umbrella ee ee ella ella ella umbrella
[edit] Chris Brown
Chris Brown is apparently some dancing chipmunk looking thing that grew up in some pine tree in the ghettos of Tappahannock, Virginia. He was sick of hustling in the forest so those Jive fuckers gave him a record deal and every 16 year old girl died on him.
[edit] T-Pain
T-Pain is some dreadlocked hippie with HIV that writes songs about strippers, hoes, lesbians, bartenders, and erections. He has a madd sex addiction and fucks nearly everything. In fact a cockroach pornography film featuring him can be found in the Russian black market for two bucks. He fucked Akon for a record deal and wrote songs about the aforementioned and successfully hypnotized every nigga and every 16 year old girl to buy his record.
[edit] Sample T-Pain Fans
- Name: Sexy Bad Azz
Comment: t-pain music iz so fuckin dope man im sprung iz fly 4 real bartender n studio luv is crazy man dat shit iz fuckin dope 2 shit he need 2 buy me a damn
- Name: koreonsha
Comment: T-PAIN u so sexy boi just playin u cute though but yea kno hata cuz he makin da dough n yall aint so STOP hatin whoeva a hata
- Name: Lil Bit
Comment: wat up my niggas anybody dat iz hatin on t-pain iz mad crazy 4 real he da shit n anybody dat iz goin 2 talk shit need 2 shut da fuck up ya heard me
- Name: T Painz Wife
Comment: damn boiiee t pain is so fawking hot i mean for realz mang shit u htrz out durr kiss maii black ass cuz u cant listen 2 good musix fuckin stupid shit imma pop a kan on ur skinnee wite ass if u hate on ma boii t pain im 4 fukkin seerius mang btw i don't weigh no damn 300 lbs i weigh 165 how YOU doin
[edit] See Also
[edit] On the Internets
Black people discovered the Internet last Thursday, and as such, a few websites have sprung up on the topic of R&B / Hip-hop.
- Davey D's Hip-Hop Corner
- Contrabandit
- Ballerstatus.net
- HOLY SHIT it's liekkk full of R&B FANBOYZ!!!11
Rape and Bukkake is part of a series on Music. |
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