Bisexual

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Male bisexual in its natural habitat.
Male bisexual in its natural habitat.
Female bisexual in traditional costume.
Female bisexual in traditional costume.

"Obesity is not just gluttony - it may be in your genes" -Oscar Wilde

Bisexuality, (Noun.): The ability to reach down any person's pants and be satisfied with whatever you may find.

  1. A superpower enjoyed by some gays and breeders enabling them to have much better sex than you and more of it
  2. Sex in a can; sadly real bisexuals have been vastly eclipsed by the phenomenon of the Fake Bisexual. Hated by all, this "wanna-bi" is above only the Furry in the social hierarchy.
  3. A fag who has installed a window in his closet.

Not to be confused with the Fake Bisexual, Bisexuals are known for their addiction to BBQ-Ripple flavoured ice cream, vague attraction to electronic music and fondness for deviant sex with anything that has a pulse.

Contents

[edit] Characteristics

Real bisexuals have the following common traits, also known as superpowers:

  1. Ability to make everyone jealous and horny at the same time
  2. Superpower of wanting to sleep with everyone except you
  3. Superpower of annoying Breeders and fags in equal measure
  4. Ability to not give a shit what you think.
  5. Disturbing tendency to mouth off when someone gives them shit (when they don't have something else in their mouth, that is, heh heh)

Bisexuals are insane, depressed and suffer from teh emo, except when they don't. Their sickening ambiguity causes most right-thinking people to get sand in their vagina and constantly carp on about their sexual indecision, an all too obvious manifestation of sexual jealousy. A plus from bisexuals usual miserable lives is that nearly all of them are successful traps, which annoys fags and bulldykes as they fail badly at impersonating the other sex in comparison. It may also annoy heteros since most would not appreciate the fact Sally Jane has a large cock and a hairy ass.

Any group of bisexuals will generally be more alive than their monosexual counterparts, because as we all know, bis are all rampaging sex vampires from the planet BBQ-Ripple and can't wait to shag anything with a pulse. Apart from you, of course.

[edit] Bi-Curious

How to explain daddy's new 'special friend' to your eight-year-old.
How to explain daddy's new 'special friend' to your eight-year-old.
Bi-curious people with cock crave teh cock while those with pu55y crave teh pu55y, but are too chicken-shit to do anything about it. Others, however, like fake bisexuals are merely in it for the street cred (see, for example, Daddy's Money Lesbian).

It is common for virgins to be bi-curious, and often they will have sex with the same gender before having sex with the opposite gender. This often causes them to realize they were actually never really bisexual in the first place. Bi-curious people who only have sex with the same gender often consider themselves homosexual, but make the same discovery that they were really horny and desperate.

Breeders often confess their bi-curiosity to fags in an attempt to create some kind of cocksucker solidarity. What they fail to realise, however, is that this is as lame as telling a black guy you once had a really deep tan.

In other words, a bi-curious woman is any girl who has had at least 2 or 3 beers.

[edit] Exceptions

David Bowie, world-renowned bi-sexual musician
David Bowie, world-renowned bi-sexual musician

Scientists and gas station attendants estimate there are approximately 71 actual bisexual people in the world. They include Vin Diesel, Channing Tatum, Roseanne, Stephen King, Anne Coulter and Hoveround. All of these people are sick perverts and should be approached only with kevlar underwear and a drink-spiking test kit.


See also:

[edit] External links

Wikipedians trying to fit in with the cool gay kids without having to actually take it in the ass.


Bisexual
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Homosexual Deviants
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Asexual - Bisexual - Fake Bisexual - Metrosexual - Transsexual
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