Collyfornia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Home to Hollywood in the south, San Francisco in the middle and Canadia in the north, California has the nation's first action hero governor in Arnold Schwarzenegger (aka The Governator) -a Austrian, Republican bodybuilder.
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[edit] History
California was founded in 1849 by Carlos de California, the son of royal parents Juan de Mexico and Pilar de Puta. The area was originally created to serve as New York Citys garbage dump. That privilage has since moved to New Jersey. Nothing interesting has happend since.
[edit] Government
The governor of California is Arnold Schwarzenegger, a cybernetic organism (Living tissue over metal endoskeleton), who calls the state "Collyfornia." He is the first ever governer that had movies made with him as the star actor. "I'll Be Back! While good at acting, he sucks as being governor. His latest approval drop was due to makeing beastiality in california illegal.
[edit] Why Californias Are Idiots
It is the largest sate in the United States, having the most revenue of them all. But when you compare it to the density to a state like New York, it the population isn't anything special. Not to mention it is home to many famous serial killers and child molesters. Those who live in California are pussies who just cant take a little cold. There are also many lakes you can go to and have fun like mountain climbing and jetsking, among other fun ways to kill yourself for coming to this horrible state. As metioned below, the only thing good about California is that half the state is warm. The other half wishes it was warm. Cities like San Fransisco prove this by installing fake palms trees everywhere. If you want to go to a state with mountains, beaches, beautiful cities, and less gays, go to New York.
[edit] Why this state doesn't suck
1. The weather (SoCal only) (That is if you like having the weather constantly being AS HOT AS SATAN'S ANUS)
[edit] Why this state does suck
- Enough emos to create a website.
- Sympathy for people who are here illegally.
- Birthplace of Hollister and every other "trendy" clothing line (Although their parent companies are most likely incorporated in the East).
- Birthplace of paying $200 for a pair of jeans.
- Inspiring high school students that its cool to dress like a metrosexual.
- "We're better than the rest of the country" attitude. (New Yorkers also have this attitude. But theirs is justified.)
- Thinking lead, asbestos, and other toxic things are especially toxic in their state.
- Greater concentration of people everyone hates, who also happen to be rich.
- Hippies. And lots of them.
- Californians in general.
- Full of gangs, which every white kid from suburbia thinks they be reppin'.
[edit] Economy
The United States loves California for it's entertainment. However it hates california for EVERYTHING else. While Califonia leads the way in revenue, it still takes a backseat to New York's very own Wall Street in terms of overall wealth and money tradeing. Meaning california could break off and into it's own pro-child molesting, pro-murder nation state (god willing) and New York would EASILY hold it's weight.
[edit] All in All
For 1000 years California has been home to pollution, child molesters, pornography, gays and mexicans. Until recently it was home to the tech industry which since moved to India knowing sooner or later California will sink into the ocean, where it belongs. In 2006, IT WAS RANKED THE 8TH GAYEST STATE. With 4 of it's cities in the top 10. All in all, if the gangs don't kill you, the wildfires will, if the wildfires dont kill you, the earthquakes will, if the earthquakes dont kill you, the mudslides will. If those don't kill you, you'll probably just commit suicide to end your horrid life in this pitiful excuse for a state. Stay far away.
[edit] Notable Californians
- Fucking everyone who says "hella"
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