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The Smashing Pumpkins
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Smashing Pumpkins are a piece of shit band that was (or is if you like Zwan reunion tours) a band that consisted of a 16 year old girl, a crackwhore, and azn (for affirmative action), and one ugly mother fucker that they hid behind a drum set. The band was set together about 100 days ago when Billy Corgan, needed to make money after losing all his assets to your mom. So he stalked James Iha, an azn, knowing that wapanese, emos, and basement-dwelling nerds love Asians playing in rock bands. Shortly after Corgan and Iha had a circle jerk to seal the deal, D’arcy Wretzky tried stealing Billy Corgans empty wallet for some crack. She was offered a spot in the band and in response she began to repeat “beans, rice and spiders”, they took the answer for a “yes”. As for drummer Jimmy Chamberlin, they found his ugly ass (and face) on the side of the street while trying to find a record deal on the streets of Chicago. His face was so appalling they thought it charitable to take him off of the streets so as not to scare the children and had him join the band…It didn’t work.
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[edit] The Band’s ‘popularity’
Billy’s plan of making money worked for not only one album but at least 100 albums were made and as the band thought children, losers, and people of t3h suXx0rz shit their pants about the music the band created, stole from Kurt Cobain, or found at the bottom of a cracker-jack box.
“Fuck the Smashing Pumpkins! Fuck Today, fuck Tonite Tonite, fuck Mellon Collie and the Infinite Bunghole, and fuck Billy Corgan and the whore (Courtney Love) he rode in on!”—A Devout Fan.
[edit] The “today” myth
Little does anyone know, the hit “today” was not about someone becoming an hero, but it was actually about Billy Corgan making an ice cream run and finding James Iha in a dress. This is known as the “Today” myth, but nobody gives a shit.
[edit] The break up
such a diverse group of people has to break out in war just like everything else, and that’s exactly what happened. Uggles the drummer was booted for being a drug addict and for being just too ugly, this caused him serious butthurt. D’arcy quit because she began acting like most feminists and claiming wild antics of accusing Iha for almost rape. Billy and Iha just decided that the band was over Last Thursday and both went home and looked up Loli.
[edit] The Reunion?
As of 2007 (or An Hero Day 2006 if you suck) Billy whined like a child in the Chicago tribune about how he wanted "his band, music, and dreams back". This ensued many lulz not only because Billy was being a whiney little bitch, but because the ugly guy said ‘yes’ to the proposal, making it a Zwan reunion; which has nothing to do with the Smashing Pumpkins and sucks twice as much dick. The Azn also said “no”, which brings many a lol because chinks always say “yes” to a job, no matter how filthy with taint the job is.
Zwan eventually released a new album entitled "zeitgeist" which got low ratings on ever music review website you can think of, this caused much laughter and uproar in the gay community because nobody thought the smashing pumpkins could take cocksucking to a whole new level. Many of Smashing Pumpkins' former fans got pissed because they expected it to be exactly like Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie. When they found out it was only somewhat different then their earlier stuff they went into some kind of a fat nerd rage. (See YouTube user "1fatSlug")
On monday, july 16th, 2007, billy corgan was found dead in his bathroom. At last report, he was still there.
