Megan Meier
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|
Megan "Hero" Taylor Meier, a.k.a. *Megan Babi*, is known for accidentally killing herself while committing suicide. Meier was a typical 13-year-old girl fighting off the demons of low self-esteem, braytheth, ADD, and being fat. She is was 175 pounds at 5'5½" after losing 20 lbs, giving her a BMI of 32.4 (the technical term for people in this BMI range is "obese whore"). The killing of self happened after being rejected and insulted by Josh Evans, one of her cute new friends on MySpace. Unfortunately for Megan, Josh was nothing but a fabrication created by evil neighborhood helicopter-mom Lori Drew.
Contents |
[edit] The Troll
Megan Meier had previously gotten into trouble with her mom for whoring around on MySpace, and so, as a dramatic angsty teen, her internet activity was being closely monitored. Her mom held her account password, and she wasn't allowed to sign on without permission. Megan was a textbook sufferer of Internet Disease, displaying several cute fat girl angle shots on her MySpace account, when she was, in fact, a blimp.
[edit] Enter the Drew Family
The Meier and Drew families lived four doors away from each other and were close, going on vacations together and having each other over for chicken dinners. However, Sarah Drew is an overbearing teenage bitch with borderline personality disorder. After years of on-again, off-again friendship bullshit, Megan Meier had enough and told Sarah that she couldn't be her friend any more. Suffering from this tragic loss of power and control over those around her, Sarah went crying to her mom and dad. Sarah's momma, Lori Drew, knew that Megan was nothing but a fat loser that should have been thrilled to have any friends at all. Moreover, nobody... nobody ... will ever upset her baby girl and get away it. So, Lori did what any psychotic overbearing helicopter-parent would: She went to MySpace and created the hunky teenage persona of "Josh Evans" as a means to snoop on Megan and ultimately exact revenge.
[edit] Joshin' Around
It started innocently enough... Josh popped up out of nowhere and sent Megan a friend request. Megan's mom, Tina Meier, was apprehensive, but Megan's "He's so hot, mommy!" argument won her over. For several weeks, the boy would regularly send messages to Megan, finding his way into her comfort zone, but claimed not to have any phone number that they could use to engage in typical teenage smalltalk.
Eventually, Josh started "hearing things" about the horrible ways that Megan treats her friends, and bulletins were being posted... "Megan Meier is a slut," "Megan Meier is fat." This angered Megan so, because it exposed her status as a secret internet fatty. Finally, on 16 October 2006 (the day before Megan's 14th birthday, and, according to weather.com, a fine day to hang oneself), Megan got into a huge myspace tardfight with her schoolmates. Her mom kept yelling at her to sign off but due to her sick internets addiction she could not. Then she received one last message from Josh Evans:
| “ | Everybody in O'Fallon knows how you are. You are a bad person and everybody hates you. Have a shitty rest of your life. The world would be a better place without you. | „ |
| —Josh Evans, a.k.a. Megan's friend's mom's MySpace sock puppet | ||
[edit] Death of a Fatty :)
At the sight of these words, the most disgusting and heinous EVAR!!!, Megan ran crying to her own mom for comfort. Megan's mom, overjoyed at the trust placed in her, screamed at Megan for using bad words on the internets and not signing off of MySpace faster. In a fit of teen angst, Megan yelled at her mom "You're supposed to be my mom! You're supposed to be on my side!". Megan then ran to her bedroom, put on some Fall Out Boy, went to her closet, wrapped a belt around her fat neck and the hanger pole (a.k.a. "closet thing") and initiated her cry for help, a typical female ploy for attention. She strung herself up while standing on the floor, then tried to hang herself by bending her knees while supporting herself by her toes (can you picture it lol), thus allowing her to prolong the dying process by up to 20 minutes. Megan's mom suddenly had a "bad feeling," rushed into her bedroom, and rescued the "closet thing" from imminent snapping.
| “ | I was right there. I held her and I yanked the whole closet thing out of the wall. Tina ran and got a knife so I could cut the belt from around her neck, and then started performing CPR. | „ |
| —Ron Meier, CNN Interview, 16 November 2007 | ||
Megan's little sister, fresh from having her braces adjusted (this was, apparently, a family with very fucked up teeth - something common among families with lots of girls who aren't broken from sucking dick thumbs before being allowed to walk), ran to the house of a homosexual lifeguard, Blaine "Buzzcut" Buckles. Blaine assisted Ron to administer first aid. The paramedics came and carted Megan, with an oddly-angled neck, into the ambulance. In a glorious pandemic of hospital drama on 17 October 2006, Megan officially became dead.
[edit] What Really Happened
The truth is that such a short stop was not likely to kill Megan Meier but only put her cervical spine in a vulnerable position. A more realistic scenario is that Megan's mom Pwnt the fuck out of her by performing Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation on a fucking neck injury. The ripping apart of the closet could not have helped either.
It should also be noted that another explanation to Megan's death has been proposed. Some individuals feel that Megan's family had simply had it with her ugly rolls of fat and cottage cheese thighs, and strung her up in the closet, paralyzed with laughter while she turned blue and twitched. At the last moment, her sister probably slapped her repeatedly in her double-chin face, saying "wake up fatty, we're just kidding!"
The truth probably lies somewhere in between.
[edit] Blogicide
12 November 2007, More than a year after Megan's self-murder, she officially became an hero when the story of her blogicide went public... on blogs, and then on news wires. Smelling blood (and money), all the major TV news networks got in on the action, finding reporters with the best head-bobbling mealy-mouthed fake-shocked expressions and putting them on location "LIVE".
[edit] Almost Murder
Because Megan was killed by the Drews using lethal hate words and internets, justice must be served! In the same vein that people who are almost raped want sympathy, many butthurt news commentators have insisted the local authorities and FBI press charges for almost murder in this case. Unfortunately, as it turns out, suicide isn't murder. But there is hope! Killing someone with e-mail is the closest thing to murder since trepanation, and that gives Megan's parents greater leverage in the American justice system.
[edit] Death by MySpace
The Meiers humbly state that they do not need revenge. They want the law changed so that what happened to Megan is a crime. They would call it MySpace Fraud, perhaps. Or Three Lies and You're Out. Or maybe, Don't Ask, Don't Dangle. Yard signs in the neighborhood say, "Justice for Megan Meier", "Call the St. Charles County Prosecuting Attorney", and "MySpace fraud in your neighborhood".
Legally speaking, any real success at legislating Death by MySpace would result in An Hero Law, not to be confused with Megan's Law. This is the most popular pro-lobby point of view, but there are alternatives being suggested by commentators.
[edit] Aftermath
The lulz, however, were just getting started.
[edit] Small Town Secrets
Towards the end of the Drews' campaign of internet hate directed at Megan, they recruited one of her teenage friends, Ashley Nicole Grills, to join in on the fun. On the night that Megan hanged herself, Lori phoned Ashley up and instructed her not to say a word. "After all," spat Lori into the mouthpiece, "since I already killed off one innocent teenage girl already, there'd be nothing stopping me from getting rid of a little snitch-bitch."
[edit] Weird parents
The day after Megan's death (without knowing that the Drews were involved), the Meiers went down the street to comfort Megan's "former friend" Sarah, and her fucktard parents, Lori and Curt. The Meiers let Sarah Drew know that, although she and Megan had their ups and downs, Megan valued Sarah's friendship. During this awkward conversation in the family room, the Drew family fidgeted and tittered guiltily. Tina Meier later remarked, "we should have known then and there; they were nervously raking their eyes from side to side like cartoon villains."
The Meiers also attended Sarah's birthday party and Curt's 50th birthday celebration, although Ron, his eyes welling up, had to leave when it came time to sing "Happy Birthday" - to this day, "Happy Birthday", balloons, or colorful napkins sends Ron Meier into a spasm of uncontrollable sobbing. In addition, the Meiers agreed to bring home a foosball table and temporarily store it in the garage (the table was a Christmas gift the Drews received and needed to make room for).
Now, not many parents attend two birthday parties the day after their daughter's death, Let alone schlep a fucking foosball table to their house as a favor. But then again, Megan was obese and had only been 13 years old, so perhaps they didn't have much of an emotional investment in her.
[edit] Ax and Sledgehammer
Six weeks after Megan self-murdered, Ashley Grills succumbed to guilt and spilled the beans to several school officials and Megan's family. Upon learning that the Drews made up Josh, Megan's mom went out to the garage and, in an act of pure awesomeness, impulsively grabbed her ax (becoming a MILF), Megan's dad his sledgehammer, and - with their His-and-Hers matched demolition set - together they busted the shit out of that foosball table. Ron and Tina loaded the splintered parts into their pickup and delivered it to the Drew's lawn in a box spray painted, "Merry Christmas". They did it for the lulz.
[edit] Police Report
After the Meiers busted up the Drew's foosball deck, Lori Drew harrumphed and had no choice but to file an indignant police report, the only sensible thing to do. The report reads, in part:
| “ | [Lori] Drew instigated and monitored a "my space" account which was created for the sole purpose of communicating with Meier's daughter. Drew said she constructed a profile of "good looking" male on "my space" in order to "find out what Megan was saying on-line" about her daughter. Drew explained the communication between the fake male profile was aimed at gaining Megan's confidence and finding out what Megan felt about her daughter and other people. Drew stated she, her daughter, and Ashley all typed, read, and monitored the communication between the fake male profile and Megan. Drew went on to say, the communication became "sexual for a thirteen year old." Drew stated she continued the fake male profile despite this development. Drew felt this incident contributed to Megan's suicide, but she did not feel "as guilty" because at the funeral because she found out "Megan had tried to commit suicide before." Drew explained the neighborhood had recently found out her involvement in Megan's suicide and her neighborhood have become hostile to toward her and her family. Meier stated she and her husband attempted to contact the Meier family three times, "banging on the door" although Mr Meier had already told them to leave. | „ |
| —Lori Drew, trying to explain the circumstances behind her fucked-up foosball table | ||
[edit] After-aftermath
After the proverbial internets shit hits the proverbial internets fan, everybody involved turns into verifiable pussies.
[edit] Counter-Trolls
Since the identities of the Drews became public, tragically, they have now officially attained we are the victim here status. They receive harassing phonecalls, letters, hoaxes, and calls to local authorities to please think of the children and do something. We are reminded at this point why Trolling IRL is so dangerous.
The mayor of Dardenne Prairie, Pam Fogarty, has ordered additional police patrols in the Meier's neighborhood. "People are just totally shocked. They can't believe that an adult would have done this. The scary part is that when you look at the blogs and listen to the phone calls we're getting, it's very quickly becoming a mob mentality."
On 19 November, Tina Meier ran into puppet master Lori who "asked me to stop doing all of this. I told her that we would not stop, that we were going to continue for justice for Megan because they knew what they did."
[edit] Hurry, Curt Drew Killed another teen OMG
On 19 November, The local paper reported that:
| “ | After most of the families in this quiet community went to bed, a half-dozen police cars sped down Waterford Crystal Drive, lights flashing. A man, they were told, had been fatally shot inside a home. Neighbors opened doors, peered out windows and watched. As many as 15 deputies, they said, drew weapons and charged the home of Lori and Curt Drew. But there was no body lying in a pool of blood. No weapon in Curt Drew's hand. The call was a prank, one of many at the Drews' home this year. A lawn job. A brick through a window. Threatening phone calls. Paintball attacks. The police are now worried residents will take the law into their own hands. "Everybody in our department knows what's going on," said Lt. Craig McGuire, spokesman for the St. Charles County Sheriff's Department. "And everybody is afraid of what's going to happen there." | „ |
| —Law lags as taunts ruin lives, By David Hunn and Joel Currier | ||
[edit] Hacked Answering Machine
On 21 November, The voicemail message on Lori's phone at her business was changed to a high-pitched falsetto with the following:
| “ | Hi! Lori Drew, world famous teenage girl murderer! Um, if you need any advice on how to drive the suicide of a fourteen year old teenage girl, um, or boy, I'll be glad to return your call. Um, to the media outlets, my only statement would be that I did it for the lulz, L-U-L-Z; my only purpose in life was to do it for the lulz. Um, you know, um, we were just doing it for the lulz, it's not our fault she offed herself to be quite honest with you. Um, so, so what? I mean, she probably would have done it anyways. I mean, she was obviously a dumb fat angry bitch. Um, I'd off myself too, wouldn't you? | „ |
| —Lori Drew's voicemail message | ||
[edit] Drews Forced Out of Business
4 December, still treating "Drew" as a four-letter word, AP reports these details from the Drew's lawyer:
| “ | Since the case became public, the woman has had to close her advertising business "because people have been attacking her advertisers and they want nothing to do with her. They don't want the bad publicity," he told NBC. He said her friends and neighbors are afraid to talk to her.
"Her daughter has had to drop out of school because of the harassment," he said. | „ |
| —Associated Press | ||
Curt Drew has reportedly been fired from his position as a Coldwell Banker realtor, and is working at the local Burlington Coat Factory outlet.
[edit] I've Been tRICKED!!1!
On 18 November 2007, an anonymous person calling itself Kristen and claiming to be a classmate of Megan's wrote up a blog post full of rational and exemplary writing misspellings and poor grammar called Megan Had It Coming / Setting the Record Straight. Though Kristen starts off with "Megan and I were sort of friends...", the little cunt-turd then goes on to break the true story about what a bitchy, slutty, loudmouthed psycho Megan was, how she had this offensive obesity problem – "yeah she was kinda fat. But she made it seem like everyone was out to harpoon her" (lulz) – and how Megan RILLY DESERVED TO DIE OK. As it turns out, Lori Drew is NOT EVIL after all becuz her intention was just to "check up on [Megan] to see what shit she was spreading about my daughter"!
Many comment pundits theorized that Kristen was (gasp!) yet another of Lori Drew's sockpuppets. On 3 December, this same anonymous person posted a badly-crafted piece of fiction claiming it to be Lori Drew's manifesto. It lacked detail of any sort, and included such gross generalizations as, "I was distraught over the event, so I instructed the key people involved to stay quiet," and "Megan coordinated a MySpace attack on my daughter." More to the point, this blog entry trolled up thousands of flame comments followed by national press and LIVE TV coverage.
4 December, Faux News reports the St. Charles County Sheriff Department's Cyber Crimes Unit is investigating the source of the Megan Had It Coming website. "Drew's family says she didn't write a word of this."
9 December, the MHIC blog reveals itself as a troll by posting a rickroll, and linking to the Megan Had It Coming article on ED, FTW. Many lulzy editorial retractions, LIVE TV drama, and "You've been Rickrolled lul" blog entries are expected to emerge this week.
[edit] City Passes An Hero Law
On 21 November, The Dardenne Prairie Aldermen surrounded the Intertubes.
The six-member Board made Internet harassment a misdemeanor punishable by up to a $500 fine and 90 days in jail. Mayor Pam Fogarty said the City had proposed the measure after learning about Megan's death.
The four-page ordinance defines both harassment and cyber-harassment, making it illegal to engage in a pattern of conduct that would cause a retarded reasonable person to suffer "substantial emotional distress," or for an adult to contact a child under 18 in a communication causing a reasonable parent to fear for the child's well-being.
City attorney John Young said constitutionally protected activity would be exempt. The measure would apply when one of the people communicating was in Dardenne Prairie (or was called Lori Drew and had lived in Dardenne Prairie at some point in their life).
[edit] Ron's Light-Up Angels
The death of their fatty daughter having tested their relationship, Ron and Tina Meier have now separated, are pursuing divorce proceedings, and have filed restraining orders against each other (seriously lolz). Tina and Megan's sister went to stay with Tina's mom, and Ron mopes around the empty house with a dripping nose and a couple of shitty Xmas angels.
| “ | The house on Waterford Crystal Drive feels empty, Ron says. Ron has added stuff. A pink Christmas tree, decorated by friends. Two volleyballs, signed by Megan's teammates and classmates. A Hershey's bar, just like Megan used to | „ |
| —St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 19 November 2007 | ||
[edit] County Prosecutor Pussies Out
3 December 2007, In a much-anticipated, year-too-late LIVE press conference today the St. Charles County Prosecutor, Jack "This Shit is Bananas" Banas, announced (drum-roll, please) his office will be going to the ends of the Earth to stop people from harassing the Drew family. That's right, no charges are being filed against the Drews themselves. Choking back tears, he says:
| “ | Because we can't prosecute somebody, it certainly doesn't justify violating the law. We live, in this country, by the rule of law. We have to. Otherwise, we lose our civilty. | „ |
| —Jack Banas, omg I'm on LIVE TV, 3 December 2007 | ||
The Faux News coverage also claims the final Kill Yourself message was written by Drew's 18-year-old employee, who is being hospitalized for psychiatric problems and, "she herself may be suicidal." One can only hope.
[edit] Banas Sued by Butthurt Newspaper
St. Louis Post Dispatch has sued Jack Banas to gain access to his classified state secrets. In their self-gratifying December 21 editorial, reporters explained why a 10-page FBI report, already a year old, should be made public. Presiding circuit court judge Ted "The Doctor" House has already ruled against them, FTW. In their lasting efforts to soak up as much attention as possible and milk advertising revenue out of Megan's death, the newspaper posted a copy of the FBI report on their website showing that all 10 pages had been censored. The FBI demanded Banas not provide information to newspapers.
[edit] U.S. Government: Megan is "a big fat clown"!
The U.S. Department of Justice has published a new Cyberbullying ad campaign with a radio version saying, "Hey Megan? You're a total freak. God you're ugly. And dumb!!" In the Kitchen with Megan
[edit] Denizens of teh Internets Respond
Displaying characteristic moderation and good taste, and wishing to spare the families any further grief, most internets users (realizing that they have nothing whatsoever to do with this drama) have kept their unqualified fucking opinions to themselves. There have, however, been some rare examples of peanut-gallery ejaculations.
[edit] Bulling is Rabbit
| “ | This happens more than you can imagine, Bulling is rabbit on these types of web sites, the parents either think its kids being kids or dont care, when several group up on one in any fashion its called a bulling , and any parent that thinks its "Kids being Kids" should not be aloud to be parents. | „ |
| —john, Nov 12, 2007 6:15 PM | ||
 |  |  |
 |  | |
 |  |  |
[edit] Assisted Almost Murder
| “ | If Jack Kevorkian can go to jail for assisted suicide, why shouldn't they? | „ |
| —There are no words, Nov 12, 2007 4:07 PM | ||
| “ | Kevorkian goes to jail for teaching people how to commit suicide and these people go scot free for driving someone to it. | „ |
| —JR, Nov 12, 2007 4:23 PM | ||
[edit] Homocidle Crime to a Minore
| “ | This is the future of homocidle crime. This is a virtual crime with an attempt to cause harm to a minore. | „ |
| —Brandon Banks, Nov 11, 2007 6:16 PM | ||
| “ | They are no different than sexual predators. | „ |
| —Concerned Parent, Nov 12, 2007 12:15 PM | ||
| “ | I normally don't respond, but this is serious. that family was subject to bulling. that (ex)friend and her mother should be held criminally responsable for her death. they played with her emotions and prayed on her just as a sexuall pretitor would use the internet for. there crime should fall under a criminal neclect homicide and aiding and abbending. trust me , words han hurt deeply and cause a chiain reaction if not delt with soon enough. | „ |
| —ann, Nov 14, 2007 11:28 AM | ||
[edit] The TV Movie
| “ | The story sounds like a really bad made for TV movie. So tragic. | „ |
| —Sue, Nov 12, 2007 6:35 PM | ||
| “ | Megan's parents should consider selling the rights to make a movie. Upside: It would draw attention to the abuses of My Space, the dangers of the online world, highlight depression – and, most importantly, make an international pariah out of the psychotic manipulator pretending to be a mother. Downside: Megan's parents would have to deal with petty people who would accuse them of profiting off Megan's memory. If it were me, I would keep the focus on making meaningful changes in My Space, the law, and destroying Megan's killer. I would ignore the mean spirited attacks. After all, isn't listening to mean people online what killed their daughter? | „ |
| —Sue 'em, Nov 12, 2007 7:58 AM | ||
[edit] End of Days
| “ | Computers are tools of the devil. Look at the doors to evil that have opened because of computers. | „ |
| —Sue, Nov 12, 2007 1:22 PM | ||
| “ | For the parents of the deceased child to show mercy will be an enormously difficult task, but will be returned to them on the Day of Judgement. | „ |
| —Steve, Nov 12, 2007 1:13 PM | ||
| “ | My pastor says everything happens for a reason. | „ |
| —HF, Nov 12, 2007 6:35 PM | ||
[edit] Media
[edit] Video Links
[edit] CNN
[edit] Faux News
- ONLINE OUTRAGE!!!
- Megan Meier's Parents Interviewed
- "The heroic efforts to keep Megan Alive"
- Blaine Buckles, the lifeguard fetched by Megan's sister,
sellstells his story - County Prosecutor's Office announces zero tolerance of great justice
[edit] ABC
[edit] NBC
[edit] MSNBC
[edit] Broadcast Douchebaggery
The 18 November ABC News broadcast contained, without explanation, subliminal images of someone's MySpace page. As a result, phrases such as "Jesus is my home boy" and "masturbate" could be seen during frame-by-frame replay of the video.
The 4 December NBC News broadcast, during the first ever televised interview with Lori Drew's attorney, displayed without explanation a large splashie saying "LORI DREW IS A PSYCHOPATH". The splashie quickly switched to a photo of Lori Drew before the interview concluded.
 |
[edit] Gallery
 ABC's 24/7 coverage |
 NBC's 24/7 coverage |
 lens flare lol |
|
 /b/ sez if you call Lori Drew she'll hang up on you |
 Note the retarded look. |
 |
|
 I wonder why this picture wasn't on her MySpace |
 Buying a dog did not keep her safe. |
 CNN teensploitation splashie. |
 |
 |
 Gratuitous Use of Loli Cleavage |
 NBC sez Always Alliteration |
 AP centerfold. Picture can also be found the myspace profile *Tina Babi*. |
 immortalized as a motivational poster |
 |
 |
 |
[edit] Related Articles
- an hero
- Megan Had It Coming
- Megan Meier's Poetry
- Megan Meier of Bel-Air
- Miss aveline
- You don't have any friends
[edit] External Links
Megan Meier on MySpaceprivate lolMegan Meier's memorial pagePrivate! BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!- O'Fallon Journal mirror
- St. Charles Journal mirror
- Suburban Journals mirror
- pics of Lori
MoooDrew - Chicago Tribune
- "Kristen" tells the world what a bitch Megan was
- St. Louis Post-Dispatch
- The Official Police Report
 |
Megan Meier is part of a series on An Hero. |
|
