House
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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House is arguably Anonymous's favorite show on TV. As an occasional meme on /b/ it is thought to be the only unforced meme in the history of /b/ and one that will nevar be old because, like Blue Cheese, Dr. Greg House MD is an acquired taste.
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[edit] The Show
The TV show revolves around a crippled, bitter, misanthropic, Vicodin addicted shaman, Gregory House M.D., and a class of wannabe 1337 disease h4x0rs at a New Jersey hospital that House is currently trolling the fuck out of like they were on Survivor. He will eventually whittle the field down to three replacements for his original team (Foreman, Chase and Cameron) who quit or were fired last season but continue to lurk moar around the hospital and occasionally pop-up in episodes.
His boss, Dr. Cutty, is a pro-ana 16 year old girl pretending to be a 45-year-old woman who won't let House hit it. Then there's the sole voice of reason at the hospital, Dr. Wilson., who's personal life is moar fucked up than all the others combined because he's the sole voice of reason at a loony bin.
In Season One, Dr. House was attacked by a psychotic bunny with lupus and lost the use of his right leg. Since then, he automatically runs each week's mystery-diseased patient through a series of tests to rule out lupus which is suggested as a cause of every patient's symptoms in every episode.
Because House believes and insists, at least 9,000 times a show, that "everybody lies", he refuses to listen to their 'lies' IE: What they've been up to (usually cheating on their significant other according to House) to get so ill. Thus, after ruling out lupus, he spends the rest of the hour pulling genius ideas out of his ass for the patients' further ruination before finally saving said patients from the edge of death at the last minute.
Yes, star Hugh "House" Laurie is that guy from Blackadder and the nerdy dad from the bestiality movie Stuart Little.
[edit] Basic Episode Summary
- As House is sitting in his office railing a few lines of coke, Foreman runs in and tells him that yet ANOTHER patient with a super-ultra rare one in a million foreign disease has just come in. House rolls his eyes, and continues to snort until Chase and Cameron tell him it's serious.
- House hobbles his way into the ER and demands answers like a hard boiled cop, threatening to cut off his/her life supply if they lie to him; this usually results in him abusing the patient until they go into a massive seizure. At this point House throws up his hands and goes back to his office to play pokemon on his Gameboy advance.
- Dr. Cuddy storms into house's office- giving him a bunch of shit about how he's not following protocol, endangering the patients lives, and how she will have him fired. House basically responds to this guilt trip by telling her to "Get back to the kitchen bitch!" and proceeds to throttle her with his pimpcane.
- Severely pissed off, House punches his way in to the ER and tries a bunch of super-drastic last-ditch efforts to save the patient like injecting 15cc's of semen directly into the anal cavity and the occasional shocker to try to resuscitate the patient. The patient finally comes back to life and instead of thanking the doctors, they thank god. House tells the patient and his butthurt medical team to STFU, while limping out of the place.
- House is back in his office raiding the pill cabinet and injecting heroin into his dick.
--Roll Credits--
[edit] House Wisdom
| “ | It's | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | Everybody lies. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | There's no I in 'team'. There is a me, though, if you jumble it up. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | Humanity is overrated. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | Reality is almost always wrong. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | (@Pregnant woman): It's not a baby...it's a tumor! | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | (@Dr. Wilson): You wouldn't know Prada [shoes] if one stepped on your scrotum. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | And who plays the Jews in this analogy? | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | (@Dr Cutty re. the team): So what's your plan? You take the big dark one, I'll take the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things get tough. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | (@House): She [a fellow nun] believes in things that aren't real. | „ |
| —Mother Superior | ||
| “ | (@Mother Superior): I thought that was a job requirement for you people. | „ |
| —House | ||
| “ | (@Dr. Cameron):HOUSE IS NOT ROSA PARKS...HE'S AN ANARCHIST!!! | „ |
| —Foreman | ||
[edit] House Videos
AND THE PILOT! :
[edit] Gallery
 |
 Sweet Jesus! Is nothing sacred? |
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 Drugs are bad, mkay? |
 Not even House is safe from Rule 34 |
 But it's Not Lupus! |
 House MPREG fanart! |
 MillHouse is now a meme. |
 What happens when House gets a hold of NGE? |
 Lawdy...is dat some Cutty? |
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 Oompa Lumpus? |
[edit] External Links
IT'S NOT LUPUS
The Offishul House site
