Christopher Hitchens

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Hitchens looking as classy as a displaced Brit can possibly look.

Based on a true story.

Christopher Hitchens, aka "drink-sodden Troskyist Popinjay", is an anti-religious atheist douchebag and staunch supporter of the Iraq War. His Christian brother, Peter, opposes the Iraq War. Christopher also claims that religion is the cause of almost every conflict.

He is very commonly known for tipping a few back, like when he approached journalist Greg Palast and said "George Bush was right about everything he said about Iraq!"

Having left The Nation, the one semi-decent news magazine in all of America over the past 50 years, Hitchens now serves drinks at "Imperialist-apologist Western elite cafe" based in SOHO.

[edit] Things Hitchens Has Said Even While Not Being Drunk

• "Europeans think Americans are fat, vulgar, greedy, stupid, ambitious and ignorant and so on. And they've taken as their own, as their representative American, someone who actually embodies all of those qualities: Michael Moore."

Ironically, Hitchens happens to be a Brit living in America. It is rumored that he moved to the U.S. primarily because of the increased likelihood that his drinks would be served cold.

• "How nice to have a 'peace' movement that is either openly on the side of the vermin, or neutral as between them and the cleanup crew, and how delightful to have a press that refers to this partisanship, or this neutrality, as 'progressive.'"

Hitchens claiming that all of us peace movement folks actually dream of imposing Stalinist purges on the world while wearing Che t-shirts. Meanwhile, Hitchens is often known to have drunken gin and tonic purges while wearing suits that he passed out in three days ago.

• "I’m a materialist and he attributes his presence here to a divine plan. I can’t stand anyone who believes in God, who invokes the divinity or who is a person of faith."

Christopher Hitchens, on his OWN FUCKING BROTHER. Atheists sure are tolerant! Unlike those bigoted Christian sheeple, right?

[edit] Christopher Hitchens: Hack Extraordinaire

His book, "God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything" (subtlety is for THEISTS), is the latest crock of bullshit to hit number one on Amazon. In it, Christopher Hitchens rehashes the same old atheist arguments that have been used for the better half of a century, claiming that religion causes war and evil and HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THINGS. He excuses the crimes of atheist mass murderers like Stalin by claiming that they were Christian (contrary to all historical evidence ever) while claiming that Martin Luther King wasn't Christian because he lacked an interest in revenge[1]. Just like that one guy who didn't believe in revenge... what was his name? OH, THAT'S RIGHT. JESUS, LOL!

Look for Hitchens' next book, "God Is A Fucking Asshole Douchebag: Christians Are Evil Baby-Murdering Rapists, And Don't Get Me Fucking Started On Fucking Jews", available in stores soon.